Chapter 017 Insecurities -1

Song Recommendation: Scared To Be Lonely by Dua Lipa

Delia tapped her foot impatiently, waiting for the man behind the counter to speed up.

"Sorry madam, sorry", the fat bearded man pleaded, smashing the buttons on his computer faster.

Delia sighed heavily, glancing at her watch and back. "I told you, you should have left this photocopying for tomorrow morning, but you never listen to me", Benjamin chuckled, standing next to Delia in the busy cyber-cafe.

"How was I suppose to know network will do me like this!" She hissed, looking back at the frontman.

"Doesn't matter, the point is you didn't listen to me, now you're paying the price".

Delia rolled her eyes, "Thanks for the support, you're such a supportive friend".

"Your welcome". They laughed lightly.

A student walked into the cafe, holding a set of papers to photocopy as well. He walked up to Benjamin and Delia who stood in front of the photocopier.

Benjamin stood aside Delia, making it obvious that Delia was the customer between them.

The young man stretched to tap Delia's shoulder. "Excuse me, bros, are you the last person?"

Delia froze, then slowly craned her head over her shoulder with a scowl.

"Oh, Shet! Sorry, I think say na guy. Sorry! (Thought it was a guy)", The man immediately walked away, rushing to another group of men in the cafe.

Delia shook her head. Benjamin laughed, "What do I always say?"

"Ben, shut up!"

"No, you can't deny it. I've told you severally that this is how you will take and lose your further husband, being dressed like a boy!"

"I'm not dressed like a boy! I just dress different! I just cut my hair and wear jeans and top".

"Exactly! Do you how many guys have avoided you because you look too manly, or even, a lesbian!"

"Del, this is Nigeria, no guy will toast a girl that will make him look like the woman instead", Benjamin laughed. "If you like don't listen, continue forming hard girl till you turn thirty!"

Delia rolled her eyes, looking away, "I look dope!"

"Stop lying to yourself, no guy thinks that way. Especially when the girl is ugly!- Ah!" Delia nudged his stomach.

Benjamin steps back still laughing, "You see what I'm saying- HAHAHA- I pity you if you think you can attract a single soul by looking 'dope'".

"Shut up, mumu! I'm beautiful and girly in the inside!"

"And no one will be chanced to notice it because you're too busy repelling them before they get to see it".

Delia rolled her eyes, hissing, "Na you sabi! (That's your business)". She looked back at the cafe man, ignoring her chuckling friend.

She then heard whispers and giggles from an end. Looking from the corner of her eyes, she spotted a small group of slim beautiful girls with long hair, dressed in ankara gowns and veils, with matching makeups.

They continued to whisper amongst themselves, then glanced at Delia, laughing. They spoke in their native language, but Delia could pick a few things up.

'Can you imagine! That's a girl!'

'Na woman she go marry na, what does a man want to do with her?'

'She looks like she can even beat a guy sef!'

'I'm sure even an idiot will not toast her, she can rape a guy'.

They laughed more, hiding her lips under their palms. 'The lord is her strength, He'll help her matter!'

'God can not help such abominations!'

They busted into a new roll of laughter. Without turning around, Delia could hear the laughs of the man who mistook her for a guy.

He was talking about the same thing.

'Guy! We thank God for big boobs o! If not!'

'Na those kind girls dey sweet for bed, they'll knack you hard (Her kind of girls are good on bed, they'll rock hard)'.

'But they're terrible as girlfriends. Any small thing they can slap you'.

'The guy sef that is standing next to her, he has liver oo. I can't go and ruin my image in this school'.

Delia clutched her feet in anger, seizing the papers she had planned to photocopy from the counter. Without warning, she rushed out.

• • •

BASH!

Delia smashed the bathroom mirror on the wall, panting heavily as blood dropped down.

She grinded her teeth in anger, fuming.

"Like seriously, Delia! What did you think!? Huh? That he actually thought you were beautiful!", She punched the shattered frame, groaning.

"Did you honestly thinking he saw you as special!!" She hit her knuckles once again.

"Like how could you be so stupid!!!" She began punching the pieces with both hands, grunting. Blood dripped out more.

She finally stopped, running her hand over her hair, "Idiot! You dumbass! How will a rich foreign man see you as anything, when your own people see you like shit!!!" She ran her fingers over her face.

"Then why don't you change?" A dry whisper asked from behind.

"Because then I won't be the real me!" She shouted out loud.

"But nobody like you...", The whisper multiplied.

"I don't dress for nobody!!!", She held the sink, shutting her eyes as she held back the pending tears.

"Then why are you sad?..."

"Because... Because-", she tightened her grip, sighing. "-Because nothing!".

"Lies..." The whisper chuckled. A tear fell from her eyes.

"Lies, Delia. No one will ever love you... No one could and will...".

"Shut up!" She held her ears, trying to block away from the sounds.

"It's the truth... How can someone even admire you?"

"Shut up!"

"They all came but ran away...".

"Shut up!!!"

"Not even dear Benjamin could stay..."

"SHUT UP!!!" She purposely launched her forehead at the edge of the sink. Everything went blank.

GASP!

Delia jerked up, panting for air with her eyes wide open —she was back in reality.

The whistle sound of the wind against the dry leaves of the tree soothed her ears.

The calm rays of the evening sky continued to bathe her, as she sat in the empty grassland, located at a side of the campus. Her back was resting on a huge rock with her head looking up. Her mind was mused.

The land was usually empty and quiet, as students didn't have an interest in the place. It was the perfect paradise for Delia to sit and meditate.

She continued to take deep breaths, trying to ignore the daydream she just awoke from.

Ever since she rushed out on Dilen, she returned to the campus, coming to her favorite spot to clear her mind. Unfortunately, it only worsens.

"Delia?"

She rose her head, looking behind. "Yusuf?"