Never be enough

~ELISE's Point of View~

*

I was on my own, vibing at the soundtrack blasting at the stereo. There was no one home, but me and I am already used to it. In fact, it was almost like I have been living by myself in this house. The property was under my name so technically, I owned it. It was given to me by my parents as soon as they were get the petitioned to live with my sister. I am the youngest among the three daughters. Our oldest, was staying abroad with her husband while my sister who was only a year older than me just flew to Australia as well to start a family there with her Aussie-citizen fiancee.

Growing up, I was more like of a timid and shy little girl. Likewise, I think I also have a fair share of issue when it came down to self esteem and somehow, I attributed it to the fact that my two sisters were downright Venus' incarnate. Not that I am exaggerating things because I am their little sister, but they possessed the kind of beauty that could cause the downfall of a nation. If you get me.

Well, talking about physical appearance, I personally think that I am not that either. Maybe, I am on the mediocre level, if there was one, to begin with. I don't know, to be honest. How could I tell?

All I know was that I am just a plain looking girl, so plain that if you would try searching for me within the crowd, I don't think that you would notice me. One would have to take a double look first, probably three, because my face was never catchy in the eye.

During reunions, whatever kind of family gathering it was, it was always my two sisters who would bask all the attention and compliment, whilst me, on the other hand, would forever always be living under their shadows. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I am ugly. It was just that, regardless how hard I tried to put an effort, I felt that I would always not be enough to hold a candle next to them. If there was one thing that I am sure, that would be that I am not as attractive as my sisters.

Who could have blame me though? When I was in my high school, all of my friends could not believe it when I told them that I am then youngest sister of two of our campus' belles. Even my prospective suitors would forget about how they used to have interest with me once they saw my pretty sisters.

It was for this reason, why I never tried to put effort making myself look beautiful anymore. Because why else would I waste my time when I already know from the start that it would all just be for naught? No one would ever pay me a heed anyway. I would just be that unnoticed little sister. So why care?

I am that kind of girl who could got out of their house without brushing her hair. I am so nonchalant when I comes to my appearance. But today, was the first time that I regretted being indifferent and not caring about how I looked!

Why would I not?!!!

Well, I just came face to face with Kenneth whom I had a big fat crush since grade school!

For the first time since forever, I found myself hating the fact that I am not as beautiful as my sisters.

"Stop it, you foolish organ. At this right, we might end up dying from cardiac arrest!"

I berated my heart inside my heart. Apparently, this little piece of me had been thumping so hard against my chest as though it wanted to leap out from my mouth and chase after Kenneth who happened to walk past me at the school cafeteria.