Social pariah.

ASHER

Sitting still has always been a great source of comfort for me but today even sitting still doesn't help. Ugh, what kind of life I'm I even living? Nothing, nothing at all has ever been my choice, forced me to go away from my home, country to somewhere to a place that spoke a different language mere months from my mother's death. Yet, oddly enough I want this, I want to make my grandfather proud, I want to become the heir they all what me to be, but why then is it so hard to picture life with Isabelle? If I want to become the owner of everything like grandfather, If I desire this immense control and power I should be able and willing to give anything, shouldn't I? Yet for this reason, I feel rebellious, I have this sudden urge to make decisions for my life.