Brianna's POV
"We fell in love."
Those words explain a lot. It explains a lot of why I am feeling this weird buzz in my ears when I am this close to her.
It explains the tightening feeling in my chest whenever she tries to look away from me.
It explains the churning feeling in my stomach when I saw her eyes land on me when I entered the room wearing nothing but a towel.
"And it's a sin. A big sin. The heavens did not approve of it when they discovered our relationship."
"Why? Because I'm a girl? Have I always been a girl?"
She nodded. "Yes. Every reincarnation. So when they discovered our relationship, they got really mad at us and punished us."
"By making you kill me so you could die?"
"At first, we didn't care about it. Heck, we were happy when you turned human. It means we could spend our lives together. For hundreds of years, it was fine. Until I got sick of it."
"Why would you get sick of it?"
"Because you keep dying and I have to keep waiting for you to reincarnate."
"So?"
"So? Brianna, when you die, I also feel the pain. I feel the same way you're feeling. So when you're out of breath, I am also out of breath. When your heart stops beating, I could also feel my heart stops beating. Then suddenly, all of those pain will disappear just because you reincarnated already. Then I have to search for you. It's difficult because somehow, the angels hinder it. They hide your presence from me. The only way I could know it's is again, by your eyes. So I have to get really close to you. Like this." She moved closer to me until there were only a few inches that keep our lips apart.
Lips?
Why am I even thinking about that?
I want to drag my thumb over hers, pulling her by her neck, and drown myself with her kisses.
I shook the thought out of my head. This is ridiculous of me. This person is only here because she wants to kill me. Nothing else.
For sure, after thousands of years, she no longer feels the same way I am feeling right now. Maybe in her head, the word 'kill' just repeats.
"They hide you from me and I have to keep looking for you."
I nodded.
"So during your next reincarnation, we made a deal. You accepted your fate. I find you and I kill you." She pulled away from me.
"And that's how it has always been since?"
She nodded. "Sick, isn't it?"
"I don't understand. Why is our relationship forbidden? What is wrong with falling in love? Aren't they supposed to be happy that I even know what that means?
"I don't really know, Brianna. But I am really sick of living like this. Each time I try to kill you, it gets harder and harder." Her eyes didn't move from mine. She's been staring at it for too long since I could remember.
Pull away, Faye. You need to pull away because I don't know how to do it myself.
"Do you...still love me?"
Why am I asking that question? Does it matter? In the end, she had to kill me anyway so what's the point of asking that?
"There was never a life of yours that I didn't."
My heart sank.
Not because of her being clear with her answer but because I felt sorry for her.
She had to kill the person that she loves the most every time just so she could finally taste what freedom is.
"Do you understand everything now?" Is it just me or her demeanor has changed? Earlier, she looks tenser as if there was a shield in front of her that she uses to keep herself away from me. Now, that shield is nowhere to be found.
"I think so," I answered.
"Great."
Then we were silent.
"I have to kill you now." Faye is good at ruining the moment, huh?
"No, I am not ready." I got up and stood away from her.
"You're going to make me wait?"
"Can you calm down? I just discovered everything now, okay? You can't expect me to suddenly accept death right here, right now."
Her shoulders slumped, "right. Of course. You cannot remember everything so this must be harder for you."
I nodded, "very." I sat down on the chair in front of my study table. I have to stay far from her or else, I don't think I could control myself.
"Are you alright?"
"Not really," I admitted.
She breathed deeply, "I guess this is really hard for you...I understand. Fine, I'll wait then. Until you are ready."
"You are not going to attempt to kill me? Plan? Or something?"
She shook her head, "I never forced you to it, Brianna. I will never force you."
"But you kidnapped me. You were trying to kill me even though I told you no."
"Because I thought you were kidding. I thought you were just pretending that you didn't know me."
"Huh."
"What did you do anyway? Why did you do that angered the angels even more that they removed all of your memories in this lifetime?"
I shrugged, "again, they removed my memories so I also do not know the answer to that question."
"I'm getting tired of this whole thing." She laid her back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. "I want us to be happy, Brianna. That could only happen if I reincarnate again and live as a normal human."
I nodded, "I don't think that I will ever be ready for death, Faye. The thought of it scares me. Really." Somehow, it made my whole body shiver. I barely know this person in the same room as me and I have to sacrifice myself for her?
"Again, I understand your worry. And again, I am willing to wait until you give me consent."
"What in Romeo and Juliet is this. I die, you die." I chuckled painfully.
"Yeah..."
"You know what, let's get to know each other. How about that? Maybe if I know you well enough, I will be ready to die for you."
She sighed, "But I already know you."
"Not in this lifetime of mine. You only know my pasts reincarnations. You don't know who Brianna is." I got up from my seat and stood in front of her.
She remained laying on my bed but her eyes moved to meet mine.
"I can't be the only one feeling this tension."