Almost a Regret

Faye's POV

That was so close. I couldn't help myself. I can't control myself. Suddenly, all of my control went out of the building when She let me touch her. I need to be better than this.

If she has no control, I need to be the one to have control.

"Back so soon?" Jessica was rolling the wine in her glass.

"Drank at 4 PM?"

Jessica released a flirtatious laugh. "My play toy left."

"So?"

"I'm bored again," she took a sip of wine from her glass.

"Just go outside. You barely leave your place."

"Why would I leave the comfort of my own home?"

"To find a new playtoy?" I suggested. I do not know, honestly. I am just glad that Jessica is a nice person that would let me stay in her house. Well, it was not free at first. I still remember my first encounter with her in that very bar that she's leaning on.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She smirked. "Remember what you did to me in here?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm going to sleep."

"At 4 PM?"

"I'm tired," I reasoned.

I'm not really tired. I just need more time to collect my thoughts again. I entered my room which is technically Jessica's storage room so it's full of boxes and other things that she no longer uses. I decided to stay here when I obviously cannot stay on her bed anymore. It's not that she got fed up but it's more like our relationship is now beyond 'that' thing.

I lay my back on the bed.

The storage is not big. It's small. A bed, a cabinet for clothes, and a window. That's it.

I don't mind the small room. I don't stay here as much anyway. Plus, I am allowed to roam around the condo if I want to. Just not when Jessica is having the time of her life out there. I've witnessed many occasions so I made sure to take a peek first before completely leaving my room.

I closed my eyes.

Earlier...I almost felt what Brianna's lips would taste like.

It was so close but somehow, I am thankful that her friend came in and interrupted us.

As much as I love her every reincarnation, Brianna is a bit different since she cannot remember her past lives so technically, she's a whole entire different person.

Not only that, I don't plan to get close to this reincarnation. I am already on my wit's end. I want to end all of these now and the only way to finish it is to do it as soon as I could.

But now, as I am closing my eyes...all I could feel is her on top of me and my hand underneath her shirt.

I shook my head.

This is going to be much more difficult than I thought.

The next day.

I was waiting for her outside her house. She was surprised to see me out on their lawn.

"Whoa?" She mouthed. "What are you doing here?"

Yeah, what am I doing here?

"You want to kill me early in the morning? Can't you wait until the day ends so I could finish all my errands for today?" She started walking so I followed.

"I thought you want to get to know me first." I thought as an excuse. I guess secretly, I just want to be with her right now so whatever excuse I could think of, I will use it.

"Uhuh."

"How are you going to get to know me if I'm not with you?"

She smirked, "You miss me already?"

I furrowed my brows. "When did I say that?"

She chuckled, "It's a bit obvious, Faye. You are not hiding anything. Not when you're blushing like that." She pinched my cheeks.

That made me stop walking while she continued.

I watch her back.

This is much different from her last reincarnation. In fact, most of her reincarnation is the same as the last one since each carries the past memories. I guess her forgetting about her past memories may have somehow changed her character on this one.

"Are you going to follow or what? I still have lots of questions for you," she turned to me when she realized that I am no longer following her.

I tagged beside her and we continued walking.

"You walk going to your college?"

She shook her head, "I take one bus."

"I see."

We stopped at a bus stop and waited for it to come.

"So, when was my last reincarnation?"

"18 years ago. You were gone for an hour. It was the longest I had to suffer. I really thought was going to die at that moment."

"Oh. Who was I?"

"Veronica Keller. She's a scientist."

"Scientist? Me? I can do that?"

"With generations of knowledge...supposedly. But again, in this lifetime, you don't have your old memories so..."

"I'm stuck with hotel and restaurant management."

"I don't think it's a bad program."

"I would want to become a doctor but my GPA is not high enough for it." She pouted. "Sucks to know that I was a scientist before."

"And before that, you were a nun. Calm down."

"I was?!"

I nodded. "Can you imagine that? You were so eager to know what it feels like to be a nun. For forty-five years...I had to watch you pray to that old man."

"Whoa, did you just insult him?"

"His rules are the reason why we're suffering right now. I don't think he deserves any respect."

"Wow, I know you are angry but I didn't expect that you are that angry."

Finally, a bus stopped in front of us.

We got inside but I turned myself invisible so I do not have to pay for the ride since I don't have even a single penny with me.

"Invisible?" She asked me.

I nodded.

"You can't make me invisible either?"

I shook my head. "My powers don't work with you. Only teleportation does."

"Oh..."

I stared at her as the sun reflects in her eyes. Her hazel brown eyes...

"You're staring at my eyes the way you stared at them yesterday." Her cheeks turned a bit pink.

"I can't help it."

"Why?"

"It's the part of you that I really like," I admitted. There's nothing to hide about that. Even her past reincarnations know that I love staring at her eyes. It seems like she got the whole universe in there.

Brianna looked at the front instead of me. "I have another question."

"About?"

"Yesterday."

"Yesterday?"

"Don't act stupid. You know what was supposed to happen..."

I gulped. "Y-yeah..." I took my eyes off her.

"If ever a tension like that comes in again...Are you going to do it with me?"

I made eye contact with her. "Honestly, I was glad it didn't happen."

She looked hurt. "Why?"

"My goal is to kill you, Brianna. Not fall in love with you."

"But you are in love with me."

"The angel version of you. Not as Brianna. I want to be with that angel."

"I am that angel. What are you talking about?"

"It doesn't feel like it when you don't remember who you were in your past lives. Right now, you are a whole different person to me."

"I guess angel me realized that. So whatever she did during the reincarnation process that made this reincarnation forget everything...I guess she did the right decision."

"Why so?"

"Because she wants you to understand that it doesn't matter who she was. You should love every version of her. Not just as an angel."

I chuckled, "You just want to go to bed that's why you're saying that now."

She looked offended. "Are you taking me for a whore?"

"I am not. God, no."

"Then why do you keep thinking that I'm only in it for that?"

I was shocked at myself. Right. Why did I even think of that?

"Wow. I guess I'm not the whore in here."

I leaned my back on the backrest of the chair. "I deeply apologize for that."

"Hmpf."

"Look, I love every reincarnation of you. I really do. The thing is, I don't want to get attached anymore so I was glad that 'that' thing didn't happen last night."

"Why don't you want to get attached anymore?"

"Because every time I have to kill you, I feel guilty." I raised my hands in front of her. "It doesn't matter how clean it looks right now. But this hand, in each lifetime of yours, has always been covered by your own blood. So, forgive me for not wanting to do that with you but I guess, you 'forgetting' your past lives, may help me in my situation. I don't have to attach myself to an 18-year-old."

She looks really disappointed now. "And yet here you are." She pressed the button on the pole to alert the bust that her stop is close. She stood up and got down.

I didn't get to follow her anymore. I just watch her walk her way to her college.