twenty-two

He sniffled, causing Ren to turn her head towards her brother. "Haru?" she called his name. "Haru, why are you crying?"

"T-That can't be the end," he said, wiping his tears away with the sleeves of his shirt. "Tell me that's not the end."

Ren smiled sadly at her brother and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said. "But it is."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" He was sobbing now and Ren couldn't help but laugh at Haru's reaction. He was always known to be a sensitive person. "Why did you keep all of this away?"

"I wanted to forget," she said. "You were already burdened with your studies in another country—I didn't want to burden you anymore." She hugs her brother, "I love you, Haru, but there are some things that are better left unsaid."

She felt him nod and smiled again, patting his back. "You must've had it hard, hm?" he whispered. "Being alone with those—those people?"

"I'm okay, Haru," she said. "It was a long time ago anyway."

Half-an-hour had passed before Haru had fully calmed down. He sighed and checked the time on his phone, reading 1:13 AM. "I think I'll go to bed now," he told Ren, standing up from the couch. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay," Ren nodded. "Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight, Ren," he said as he walks towards his room at the end of the hallway. She sighs when she hears the door close and stands up, making her way to the kitchen.

"It must've been hard for me," she thinks back to what Haru said as she prepares herself a cup of coffee. It didn't matter to her that she'd end up sleeping late—she wouldn't be sleeping that night anyway. Of course it was hard for me.

She remembers the nights where she had to cry herself to sleep, wondering if Kiyoshi—the boy she had loved—was okay. Just the thought of him brought Ren to tears and made her regret all the things she didn't say to him while she had the chance.

So there Ren sat on the kitchen stool at one in the morning while she waited for her coffee to finish brewing, tears running down her cheeks as she buried her face in her hands. She wants to scream, she wants to break something—but none of that will change the fact that he isn't there.

Is he okay? she asks herself. Is there anyone with him to comfort him? Is he married to that foreigner? So many questions filled Ren's head as she drank her black coffee, hoping that the bitterness she felt would be replaced by the bitter taste of coffee at one in the morning.

After a while, she calms down and the tears stop. Ren stands up and puts her mug in the sink, rinsing it before making her way to her room. She lays in bed, staring up at the dark ceiling as she lets out another sigh before closing her eyes and rolling onto her side.

Wherever you are, I hope you're happy.