twenty-three

There's a moment of silence before the room is filled with the sound of clapping. Ren closes her book and smiles, bowing politely as she walks off the stage and towards backstage. There she spots Haru smiling brightly at her. Ren runs to him and hugs her brother.

"You did great!!" Haru says.

"Thank you." Ren lets go of her brother. "Did you cry?" She points at his face and smiles, teasing him. "You cried, didn't you?"

"N-No," Haru lied. "Obviously not."

A year had passed since Ren had told Haru the story of the boy who got tired of pretending, and in that time, Haru had taken the time to encourage his sister to publish the story. Of course, she was hesitant at first, but she did it in the end. Ren didn't expect her story to get as much attention as her other ones, but it did—a lot more attention than her other stories.

Soon, Untitled had turned into Blue, outselling thousands of other stories and authors. Aoki Ren had become one of the bestselling author's in Japan, which had always been her dream.

As she sat beside Haru in his car, she let out a sigh of relief. "It feels so surreal," she mumbled. "I actually did it."

"Of course you did it," Haru chuckled. "It was only a matter of time before you made it to the top." Ren nods and smiles at her brother.

"Thank you for always supporting me," she says, looking at him. "You're the main reason why I'm even here. If you hadn't pushed me to publish it, I never would've—" Ren cut herself off when she felt tears start to fill her eyes. "I-I never would've told his story." Her voice cracked as she started to sob. Haru looked at her worriedly and pulled over on the side of the road before hugging his younger sister.

"It's okay, Ren," he said, rubbing her back soothingly. "You'll be okay."

"I miss him, Haru," she whispered with a shaky voice. "I miss him so damn much. I-I want to see him again."

"I know you do, Ren," he says calmly. "Trust me, I know."

"I never got to tell him." There was no point in trying to calm Ren down now as she sobbed into his shoulder. All Haru could do was be there with her and hold her. "I never got to tell him, Haru."

"What didn't you tell him?" he asked softly.

"I never told him I loved him," Ren cried. "I never told him that I loved him and now—I'll never see him again."

Ren didn't know how she'd gone this long without crying it all out. It had been five years and the first time she had mentioned him was the year before. She'd never cried to anyone before, always holding it in unless she was sure she was alone.

But now, now that his story was out there in the world with hundreds - if not thousands—of people reading it, she needed to let it all out. All the tears she had kept to herself, all the times she had blamed herself for losing him; she needed to share her pain.

Because if she wasn't strong back then, how was she any better now?

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It was quiet that night, the cool breeze swaying the trees as Ren took a walk alone. It was nights like these that reminded her the most of Kiyoshi, but she tried her best to keep her emotions controlled.

I need do take my mind off him, she thought, rubbing her eyes. She looks around, sees people walking around and decides to play a game by herself.

Her soul is pink. She glances at a young girl clinging onto her father with a bright smile on her face. She wore a shirt with a unicorn printed on it and it made Ren smile. She looked around for the next person and saw a man and a woman sitting on a bench, holding hands as he held out a bouquet of flowers. His soul is green, and she's yellow. She looks away from them and looks straight ahead, but stops in her tracks.

There was a boy standing in front of her—about seven feet away from where she was. He was staring right back at her with eyes wide and mouth agape. The tears Ren had held back a few moments earlier rose again as she stared at him, her lips trembling.

His soul is still blue.

It seemed as if the world had stopped for a second as they stood there in shock, neither moving from their spot. Ren felt the tears start to fall from her eyes and onto her shirt. The world started moving again when he started getting closer, walking slowly, then running towards her. Ren was still too shocked to move from where she was as she sobbed.

Then, everything happened so quickly. There she was as she clinged to him for dear life, his arms wrapped around her in a hug. "I-I'm sorry," he said, letting her cry. "I'm so sorry." But none of that mattered to Ren because he was here.

Kutsuki Kiyoshi was here.

I'm dreaming, she thought. This has to be a dream. He isn't really here, this isn't real. Ren tried to convince herself that what was happening was just her mind playing tricks with her, but it feels so real.

Dream or not, she didn't want to waste more time. She had gone five years keeping the words to herself, and she didn't want to wait any longer. "I love you," she said, crying into his shirt. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you and I—I love you."

There was a smile on Kiyoshi's face, a sad smile as he listened to her cry. Had his disappearance caused her pain? Did she cry for him? Did she really wait five years to tell him she loved him? He had so many questions he wanted to ask her, so many things he wanted to know about her. But all he could think of was how much he had missed being next to her.

"I love you, too."

Finally, the words had been lifted off his chest. Finally, he had said it—he had told her he loved her, just like he had always wanted to all those years ago.

But now that she's here, holding onto him like her life depended on it, there was no way that he'd ever let her suffer because of him ever again. So what if he wasn't okay? So what if he wasn't normal? If he wasn't happy? None of that matters to Kiyoshi. What matters is that Ren is here, and he's here.

And though it had taken him long enough, Kiyoshi was finally happy.