<<11>>

Suicide.

Later that day.

Mom called out to me.

I immediately went to meet her In the sitting room where she was.

" Mom. " I greeted with a bow when I got to where she was.

" Oh, Sushie. I heard from your class teacher that you have been given your result, is that right? "

" Yes, Mom. " I replied.

" So where's it? " She enquired.

I immediately handed over the sheet to her.

" You came Prepared. I see. "

Then she unfolded it and stared at it.

A minute later, she stood up all of a sudden and began advancing towards me.

I took a step back unconsciously.

I was scared.

My heart was pounding in my chest.

Despite the air conditioner in the room, I was sweating profusely.

I could see the fire in her eyes and I knew immediately that she was mad.

* Smack *

Before I could comprehend what was going on, her hands had already connected with my cheeks.

It stung.

Tears streamed down my cheeks the moment slapped me.

I tried my best to muffle the sound of my cries.

Then, she grabbed my cheeks and made me look straight at her.

" You are nothing but a disappointment to me, Sushie! "

The second time I was hearing that word in a day and I must say. It isn't a good feeling at all.

" You are nothing but a curse! After all, we've done for you all you got to repay us with is this thing you call result? "

" Your mates are having distinctions in all subjects but this is what you had? Where's your conscience?"

" Speak up! Why are you still quiet? Don't tell me you are feeling guilty now? "

I was quiet, what should I say?

" After everything! This is what you gave us in return? Education, we educated you! , Food, we gave you food! , Clothing, Shelter, we gave you all of this but this is how you repay us? "

" Speak up, Sushie! Why don't you let me hear your croaked voice for the last time, Sushie! I curse the day I gave birth to you! Because of you, I lost my position as the young madam of the Rag family! Because of you, I became a divorced woman at a very young age! Because of you, my parents disowned me! Because of you, I lost everything! Everything! Solely because I gave birth to you! Why are you even still alive? "

" Why don't you just die? I should have thrown you into the ocean the moment I gave birth to you! I should have stabbed you in the heart with a fruit knife the moment I brought you home! I should have abandoned you on the streets the moment I realized that you were a girl! "

" A curse! Sushie you are a curse to my existence! You don't deserve to live among humans! All your life you had been failing and failing! You haven't made me proud at all! "

" All you did us to cause trouble for me, you are becoming too much of a burden for me! "

She grabbed my chin so tightly that it almost bled.

I was sure that my cheeks would have become blood red now.

" Listen to me Sushie. You are worthless! You don't deserve any love! You are nothing but a failure! An example of which others shouldn't follow! I hate you, Sushie! Even hearing your name disgusts me! I hate you! " She spat out before shoving me away.

Due to the force at which I was shoved, I fell flat on the ground.

Mom left me alone on the cold floor but not before saying " Sushie! You disgust me! "

When she left, I managed to stand up on my feet and walked to my room.

My whole body was in pain.

Tears continued to stream down my face.

I walked into my bathroom and stood in front of the full-body mirror.

Looking at myself, I hated myself and my appearance especially my pale white skin.

My skin color was one of the reasons why my classmates hated me.

They often called me a cold-blooded vampire due to my pale white skin.

Due to all of this, I have also begun to hate my skin.

<< I hate you Sushie! >>

<< I curse the day you were born. >>

<< You disgust me, Sushie! >>

These brutal words were said to me by the woman I always called my mother.

I never truly Know why she hated me but hearing her words today I guess I had already figured it out.

' is it true that I made her lose her Position as the Young Madam of the Rag family? '

I knew of the Rag family. They are one of the richest families in the country.

Is it true that I am a curse?

I wiped out my tears and with renewed determination.

I glanced at my reflection in the mirror before saying the following words out loud.

" Since they all say I am not needed and wanted in this life then why don't I just leave? Why don't I just die? "

I came out of my bathroom then went to my closet and got a white dress and put it on.

I sat on my bed, I wrote a letter then placed it safely into the safe in my room.

As I stood up, my foot stumbled on the stood beside my bed and the small fruit tray fell along with the Sharp knife.

I stared at the knife for about three minutes before picking it up and hiding it in my dress.

****

Walking to the nearest beach.

My white gown flowed with the breeze as I walked.

As it was dark.

The beach was empty and quiet.

It was a public beach which was opened 24hrs so I didn't have a hard time getting in.

I got to the waters and stared at it.

The water was calmer now and the breeze was cold.

I shivered from the cold.

I Smiled bitterly while staring at the sea.

Then I stared upwards at the cloud.

I often believed that people who died in Christ often go to a better place.

But well...

I brought out the Sharp knife and stared at it for moments before bringing it to my wrist.

Since I am not even wanted by the woman who gave birth to me then what's the use of living and occupying space?

Tears continued to stream down my face as I realized that I was going to take my own life.

I knew that suicide is a grave sin but well...

I don't have a choice.

I had to end my misery.

I am sure that my mom will be more than happy to know that I am no more after all she never wanted me in the first place.

I only had one regret though.

I wouldn't be able to see my little brother's smiling face.

I'll miss you, Tinu.

Then, the next minute. It was like I was possessed by an unknown spirit as I slit my wrist with the knife.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel any pain. Perhaps it's because I had become numb to the pain already or because the pain in my heart was greater than any physical pain.

Minutes passed by and blood continued to drip from my wrist.

I began to feel hazy.

My consciousness began to leave me.

* BAM *

I fell to the ground and this was the last thing I knew.

***** Suicide should never be an option!!!! , It's nothing but a permanent solution to a temporary problem!!! , If you are Depressed get help!! Don't take your life!!! Remember. You've got only one life!!! . Living is far better than dying!!! . It's your life! Live it to the fullest! Don't die before your time is up!!! Remember, you are loved! You are wanted! You are needed! Your presence in this world matters!! You are not a failure!!! The world is waiting for your manifestation!!! ********