The Reverse Law: Tool for Confidence

First, let's define a "Tool".

According to Merriam Webster, "A tool is a handheld device that aids in accomplishing a task".

We all already know about this matter. This can be likened to the word "Support" or something that helps you to facilitate or accomplish something. In your life, you have most likely used something that helped you with something you want to do. If you think about the literal meaning of the word "Tool", the first thing that comes to your mind are things like Hammer, Saw, Axe, or anything that helps you in various tasks. Professionals in various industries also have their equipment like this. What if we were talking about the tools you use in your life? How do you deal with or implement things in your daily life in the world? You are probably thinking, is there such a thing? That is why here are the "self-help books" that can be called. At my age now, I think I'm ready and I want to defend considering including or at least hooking up with teaching in schools such things. If not in elementary and secondary, it can be included in the curriculum of college students as they are I think at the most appropriate age to understand such things. They also can analyze deeper things to see what will help their development.

Our first tool is about the word "Confidence" What exactly does the word confidence mean?

According to Merriam Webster, "Confidence is the faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper or effective way .."

So it means you are not sure but you feel like you are sure. It's like even if you're not good, you feel as if you're good. And it is used for many other things. Many people aspire to have this Trait? Why? There are so many things in life that you are prevented or unable to do just because of a lack of self-confidence. It's also great for your work and even in your social life. It will be easier for you to make friends with others and to learn different things from other people. I have lived being shy since childhood. During my youth, you would consider me a truly pure introvert. From elementary to high school. It's something I thought I couldn't change. There had only been a crack in this belief of mine when I stepped out of college. I became more rational with the things I was studying. I also became more aware of my personality. I'm a shy person, I admit that to myself. But when I'm with my friends, I noticed that they become noisy and happy. That's how often introverted people are, only their best friends see their other personalities. I like to overthink things. I'm often stressed and I don't socialize much with other people. I don't want to do things that will make them angry. I also only talk to a few girls and become friends. Even if I happen to like someone, it won't matter because I won't approach her either. I prefer to be alone and quiet but deep inside I also want lots of friends. "Confidence", I always knew this thing would help me to change my life. There's this something inside my mind that seems to be telling me "I can do something about it". And that's the beginning, yes I'm quiet yet noisy when I'm with my friends. Yes, I almost don't talk to my female classmate but I have a female best friend. Yes, I'm shy but I sing in front of a lot of people when there's an event at school. It's like I'm not pure. I seem to be full of "negatives" but there are still "positives" inside me. that's when I thought maybe I'm not a pure introvert. There's another person inside me. My more powerful self. The one that's confident and sociable like a leader. So are you and they, we. So How do we release our second being?

From the moment I thought of that thing, I started looking for an answer. I have read many books regarding overthinking, confidence, and emotions. I was shocked by the things I learned. I feel like I am born again with a new personality. At the same time, I was discovering certain things in my own life. Let's start with how I realized what I call "The reverse law", the confidence tool. I woke up one morning and thought again deeply about what other things I could fix in my life. That same day, someone owed some goods to our store. I had to list the things he owed us in the notebook and here I realized that one of the things I hadn't fixed in my life was my writing. I used to believe what they said that if your writing is ugly, it means you think fast. There were times before when I was proud of myself because of that saying. But as Mark Manson said in his book "A subtle art of not giving a f*ck", Unless you admit to yourself that you are not good at something, you will never strive to fix it. He also said that many of the well-known great people today in various fields believe that they aren't so good that's why they strived to improve until they become extraordinary. So I thought of fixing my writing. I immediately searched on youtube and took a blank piece of paper and repeatedly wrote my name there. Within a day, I saw an improvement. Every time someone owes us again, I would re-list the things they owe in the notebook, and the strange thing is, I seem to be happy with what I see. I have clean and beautiful writing on every item that people owe to our store. Unlike before, I was just always in a hurry and seemed lazy to write, now I'm ecstatic when I have something to write. to better explain my point, let's break down the process of doing something in the following:

First, "The Process", is the process of how you do something or the things you first need to do to achieve a good result.

Second, "The Emotions", here are the emotions you feel while or before you do something. This is where nervousness, boredom, loss of appetite, annoyance, excitement, fun, and other emotions come in that can affect your outcome.

Finally, "The Execution/Results", the act of doing will be directly compared to the result in the sense that what you have done will also be your result.

In the process of refining my writing, I realized that ...

*Writing (is the process)

*Diligence/Joy that I feel (is the emotion) *Better writing(Is the execution or result)

This is the normal process of doing something. We often have bad results because the natural process of our brain in doing something tends to always be emotion comes first before the result so sometimes no matter how hard we do as a process or preparation, still, in the end, we lack confidence in things we do or will do. The more we don't want to be clumsy, the more we become clumsy. The more we don't want to be nervous, the more nervous we become because that is the natural system. The ugly emotion will not go away if you do not change something.

At this point, I know you're pretty much getting the concept of reverse law. From the word "reverse", you can reverse the process without your brain objecting. But wait, maybe some of you don't seem to believe me. I'll give you a sample, think of a language that you don't know much or you're not fluent in, think of that language and here's what to think or say to yourself, "I only speak (whatever your chosen language is) , I don't understand (your native language), I will be only be speaking and thinking in (whatever your chosen language is) ... "And start talking on that language. It becomes easier right? You even feel like you're native to it when you're not. Your brain trusts you so whatever you believe is more likely what will happen to you. They also say "whether you think you can or you can't, you're right ..". At this point, I hope that I have convinced you of that matter so that we can now return to the actual application of the principle of Reverse law when it comes to confidence. If you remember, I was happy and I became more diligent in writing after seeing that my writing was better. Supposedly the result affected the two parts of doing something, the process, and emotions. With that, I thought of reversing the process of doing something and that's when I began to have overflowing confidence in my body and personality.

The difference (between normal doing of something) and (Reverse Law).

Normal doing of something:

Process ---> Emotions ---> Execution/Result

The Reverse law:

Process ---> Execution/Result ---> Emotion

The position of Execution/Result and Emotion changes in the process to make whatever you want to do more smoothly at any time. Like I said your brain will accept it. The trick is to set aside anything that might be affecting you as you do the thing you want to do such as "fear", "nervousness", "mistakes", "not doing well" and other negative things and emotions. which could ruin your execution or results. Instead, start focusing on the result that you want to achieve, if you are delivering a speech, do the thing that you think will make your speech better, have a louder and clearer voice, explain your ideas better, don't imagine that you will murmur or stutter because you have time to think about all of those negative things later. you just focus on the execution and result that you want to achieve. This way you can bring out your true talent and the best point of your abilities. It allows you to be present at the moment and be mindful of what matters in the present time. After your speech, you can think of all those ugly things and emotions that you could have done but ignored but at this point, you will also realize that thinking those things no longer makes sense, I mean for what right? You're done with your performance and the best part is, you've done your best. There's no more point in worrying or feeling any negative thoughts anymore. You just performed with full confidence and with your skill at its peak.

When I first discovered reverse law, I wanted to jump in and run right away to confess to the person I like. It felt like chicken you know. but I realized, I don't like any girl at the moment, I've been too busy developing and focusing on myself. Being confident is indeed a very good skill that you can use in your life but like any other skill, it has its limitations. I'm also not saying that you should always focus just on your result, It can only get rid of the negative emotions you feel that are affecting your actions, so it can only bring out the things or abilities that you are hiding inside your body and mind. I don't recommend that you skip the process because it's just so important. You cannot show anything if you have not practiced or studied something. The reverse law is for the person who tries but is only suppressed by his emotions. I also want to remind you that sometimes being overly confident can be dangerous as well. Your first taste is addictive. It's like alcohol that if taken in excess is harmful. for instance, when driving, it can sometimes cause an accident on the road. I realized this once when I almost collided with a car and I was so shocked that I didn't feel even just the slightest bit of shock and anxiety. I remained calm and confident in my driving. I didn't even blink at what happened. Stay aware of the things you are doing and find out in what situations being confident sometimes hurts.

I guess it's overwhelming but it also takes a little bit of practice to have a full grasp and control of this tool. The best time to use The Reverse law is on your performance day. Use it when you want to do something so well but never forget "process" is always first on the system.