Gather 'round, my dear Feathers, for I am Mary Texts, your delightful and delectable source of all things gossip and glamour in our hallowed halls of academia. Consider me the feather in the cap of our school newspaper—the entertainment guru who unveils the juiciest tidbits from behind the veil of anonymity. If you're in the mood for some tea, fear not, for I shall serve it piping hot every 3rd day of the week, precisely at 3 pm, just in time for our tea-sippers' delight.
Oh, how the whispers flutter like feathers when I sweep through the campus, leaving a trail of intrigue and wonder in my wake. My quill, dipped in ink, dances across parchment, chronicling the most personal details and divulging secrets even the top elites wouldn't dare whisper in the dark of the night.