The Two Faces of The Moon Pt. 1

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, I HAVE NO HATE TOWARDS TO ANY AFFILIATED RELIGIONS. I RESPECT EVERYONE'S BELIEFS. AND THIS STORY IS NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVICED.

The 5th of February 2022

The next three days are Vayne's birthday and our anniversary. The day I created her as my tulpa to cope with my loneliness. But that's not the point of the story today. Although, I've been fighting my shadow self for a long time now. Ever since the year before Vayne's birthday, which was around the 13th of June 2012. "HE"'s always been there. He was incarnated from my mind to turn into the evilest form of myself. Where I had to write a book all about the days, we fight together in a dystopian morbid wonderland he created in my mind space. Where I had to walk and suffer all the days I've spent in those gruesome moments. It was the best masterpiece I've ever written and is lost in the sands of time.

His name was Fear. and this is his origin.

***

There is Death and Undeath, for humans and vampires alike

The moon is a two-sided coin; it is but the most incredible illusion of all deceptions. The moon itself has two faces, one beaming beautiful light to hide its darker face as a façade, and the Veil's Mask waltz of the humans moonstruck that they go mad during the full moon.

I used to despise humans, now I am starting to think they are intriguing...

I was isolated all by myself here with my father. I never understood humans, at least I thought I did for their carnal nature, until I met my cousin Cristian's underling workers. He is a contractor for the construction workers.

After my mother worked overseas in Japan and sold her property lot to one of our relatives, she profited from that. And thus, the wretched house is about to start being renovated. I am an old distant acquaintance by Allan, my cousin Cristian's friend from work, from building places from place to place.

Once it is about constructing a home or anything in particular, he has many connections. Then here is a wretched mortal soul named Jansen, quite the silent type, barely talks and doesn't even smile until I tell him hilarious things. Quite an attractive man, he is. He is about my age; he is 26 years old; my cousin Cristian is a decade older than my own father, but he treats him like a brother for himself, but to me, both of these people treat me as their own son.

Especially that cousin Cristian who often treats me to spoil me with cigarettes until he bought a vape today from his sister, Lani. Her husband was selling his vape, and he thought he could save more money by just using a vape instead of paying for all of nothing but cigarettes.

Up all day watching them and reading their thoughts as they work, the 26-year-old boy, Jansen, never talks to me but raises eyebrows each time we face him as a friendly greeting. We never spoke until I introduced myself properly, but I barely talked to him. There is saddening energy inside of him to feed him my energy of hyperactive happiness.

As I feed them my positive energy, they become stronger during work using my psionic power of mind manipulation. Allan suspects me as a vampire. During the day, I never walked in the sunlight and looked at myself, obviously afraid to step in it. As well as wearing shades even indoors, thanks to the sunlight.

I told him that vampires do not exist but also mentioned that the Veil's Mask wants you to think. Jansen thinks I'm too bright for him. When we finally talked after they worked, he was still saddened. During our conversation, he kept laughing.

No one can do this to him but me. I think he is one of a kind. As a 2-year-old child named Liam, his wife left him in late January. The mystery why lies there. I never continued further by asking about it.

When he said she was "gone," I might have thought she was dead, so I gave him my condolence, and he laughed hysterically. I was wondering why and I laughed too, thanks to my misjudgment. Throughout the day, I also bragged about my studies in the occult. I showed them my Luciferian Witchcraft Book that I wrote.

Many sigils of infernal fallen angels and all those weird pentacles I drew, many symbols with Enochian chants. Here I learned from humans; hence, I was wrong enough to think that all humans must be punished. Because they have no compassion for the others of society. Especially towards how they treat me just because I am brilliant enough to make me an "outcast."

An exile from civilisation as we speak.

I never had actual real or true friends. I never trusted anyone anymore since those days of adolescence until I met Jansen, who was to be a stranger with just a broken heart. I thought all humans are disgustingly morbid for their carnal selfish desires.

Blaming the Devil for their own shortcomings. Praising thanks to God when things go right, going to church every Sunday, praying hard enough, hoping they get to heaven. Still, in truth, after a second of mass in the catholic church, they sin repeatedly, and they expect why God is treating them this way. It's unforgivable why they blame God or the Devil.

Hence, both of them did nothing wrong but brought those sins and caused an adverse effect and impact on themselves and their lives. Total bullshit, don't you see? Everyone is not black and white nor grey either, but to me, they are two-sided from black and white like a coin. Even myself is like that, I have to admit.

I have my own carnal desires, but I do not fall into temptation enough to make sin to those misfortunes befall them by my acts. I do not do that. The church judge people, catholic people, judges people, think people, humans are like that.

Then they say, "Only God can Judge" how hypocritical. I'd say you're a waste of flesh, you imbeciles of a human, an embarrassment to creation! Self-righteous, judgmental, and those who first throw the stone. Then all of society throws their stones together at me, saying I am wrong. Still, for myself, I am not even a villain but a fallen cherub that was misunderstood.

The story goes here as a vampire who has Lucifer's eyes on the world. I was born with a gift of angelic essence that makes everyone adore me enough to treat me like an actual angel. And befall onto their knees and pray and say thanks that they have me.

Until I was fallen from grace for all the HELL God has put me through, and everyone calls it a test. Do you think mental illness is a test for humans? Pathetic! My mind has been corrupted with voices, hallucinations, delusions, to the point I prayed enough for God to make me feel even slightly better. I waited for a decade.

There was nothing, so I became my own God and made myself better on my own instead of depending on God. And here, I turned my back on God and went on to the other side of the world. Cursed in the oblivion of the infernal darkness. I was cast out to be condemned! Cursed to walk the Earth aimlessly without direction for all eternity. A vampire!

I stood up on my own a few months ago. After praying for a decade, I thought God would help me, not knowing he already had cursed me! That was 11 years ago...

And is it even a crime for an angel to speak his mind? Thanks to the HIERARCHY of the Heavenly dominion, I am but lesser than human but a daemon.

A living corpse that cannot die and has to watch my loved one's die so fast in my life for all eternity. And have to live with the guilt "Why didn't I spend more time with them while they were still alive?! I was wrong! I'm a monster!!!" and you call God merciful. Bullshit, right?

Here then, I started to think humans are fascinating. They have different types of carnal nature.

The Crown Virus vaccine has arrived in our province. Now I can go outside and not wish to be locked up under forced house arrest with any legal matters thanks to my father, but not really. It is my fault. My father is not the one to be blamed, but myself.

I was wrong; I committed many sins just because I was poorly treated by society itself. Now I stood back up became better. The medications have little to their lowest dose, which is most medications have vanished forever. I can now go outside whenever I wish.

While the crew was working on the house, I went outside after dinner and thanked my father for it. He deserves it. I'm a cad;

I do not deserve happiness at all for the sins I've done, and all I seek is just redemption. But I don't think it hasn't happened yet in a holy law yet or ever will... for I am doomed to walk the Earth without directions for all eternity. The worst part is the eternal thirst and hunger for Blood. For Blood, Blood is not just life. Blood... is LIVES!