Episodes 163. Eldest Hand

*Brak!

I slammed the door of the coffin shut and ran inside. Descending the stairs, I headed towards the center of the arena where my eldest brother was chained.

My body was drenched in sweat, scattering everywhere. The blood flowing from my left hand showed no signs of stopping.

Nazrul, who was sound asleep there, grinned as he saw my condition.

"Why did you come back here? Are you trying to hide? But too bad... She will soon come in and find you."

It seemed my brother understood what was happening just by looking at my condition. He wasn't perceptive! Any fool would realize the situation seeing someone come with a severed and broken hand and not think things were fine.

"I know! I just panicked!" I shouted at him.

"Panicked? Are you scared?! Hahaha!"

"Shut up! This is none of your business!"

"If this is none of my business, then why did you come here?" He laughed mockingly.

"I'm just here temporarily..."

I hate being belittled by my brother, especially him. He is the last person I want to silence.

"At this point, you're at your lowest point, aren't you?"

I was silent.

This was the first time I was completely helpless. I had tried everything, but nothing worked to defeat that old woman. I couldn't even scratch her.

I recalled how she took the spear I threw at her body. She simply accepted it with open arms as if showing me that I couldn't hurt the Prince(Goddess).

My brother was right; I was at my lowest point. Everyone was looking to kill me, and now I had to fight the Prince(Goddess) without any assistance. The person who had been with me since the beginning of the journey was gone, and now I was alone.

"Hahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHA!" Suddenly my brother laughed loudly like an antagonist who had achieved his goal. "Now you understand, right? This is the consequence of you trying to fight Nova. You had the chance to run and get far away from here!"

"Run away? Sorry, that's not who I was..."

Indeed, if I chose to run, it would mean I hadn't progressed at all. Then Jauhari's wish and everyone who believed in me would vanish.

"I don't want to let others die while still disappointed in me." My heartfelt words came out.

Just like Jauhari's request, everyone around me had the same wish. They wanted me to return to being a normal human.

"I don't know which one is the real me."

"I just adjust myself to fit the others."

"And it's too late for me to realize that all of it was acting from when I was an assassin."

"I remember how I pretended to be a good person, a naive person, a firm person; I even pretended to be a defender of justice. All that acting was to get close to my targets and kill them without a trace."

The more I remembered, the more I realized how terrifying I was then and how weak I was now.

For some reason, I felt comfortable with them. Feelings that I never had before suddenly emerged, making me nostalgic. But foolishly, I threw all of it away because of my desire for revenge.

"Because of what I did now, many people died in vain."

For some reason, my tears felt heavy even though they wanted to flow freely.

My brother just listened to my story intently. He seemed to know what he should do. Or maybe he was used to listening to other people's stories? I don't know; it wasn't my business.

Dahlia...

The first person to confess her love to me, but I ignored her.

Vicky...

The person who considered me his rival.

Princess Tyas...

Accidentally killed because I thought that dice(pasa') was Widya hiding.

The five traitors, Matthew Kunto, Ami Salahudin, Candra Emi, Malik Abimanyu sang Pencakar Langit, and Nurdin Jiminten...

They all died because of the three women I controlled.

Widya (though evil)...

Killed by Widodo when she suddenly tried to attack me.

Erika... Sophia... and Stevent...

They died as soon The Prince(Goddess) show her face.

Recalling, many people close to me died because of my existence now.

Salwa...

Rosa's friend who still cared about that issue. She ended up dead horribly because of my extreme slowness.

Camal...

Julia...

Both of my students also died at the same time and for the same reason.

.......

Several minutes had passed after I thought about the people who had to suffer because of me.

On the other side, my brother still listened as if he had no other choice.

"Do you want to keep dwelling in this regret?" My brother asked, lifting his head to face me sitting on the hard stone floor.

"Ha, what do you want? Are you going to help me like a side character trying to give his last strength to the protagonist?"

I said that joke because it sounded cliché, and I wasn't sure he would do it.

"Of course not, besides, I don't like clichés." He chuckled, but quickly stopped.

He looked at me seriously, as if he really meant it. "You know... There's one surefire way to at least make you evenly matched against Nova, even if not in strength, at least in defense."

"What is it?"

I turned to him, my eyes wide with surprise. This wasn't something he would say lightly.

"Remember... My pure magic is immortality... So-"

I knew where this was going, so I cut him off. "Enough, I don't need..."

He surely wanted me to end his life and let me take his power. Although, I didn't know how he would do it.

"Hey, I don't want to die, you know? Besides, who would die for someone who doesn't even care for me?"

He answered my thoughts like a mind reader.

"Oh, sorry. I thought you wanted..."

It seemed everything I thought was different from what he actually wanted. So what was he really thinking?

"Then, what are you actually thinking?" I asked.

"It's simple, let me destroy your Anitya!"

I suddenly broke into a cold sweat and froze in shock. What he suggested was far beyond what I could think of.

"What do you mean by destroying Anitya?!"

"Do I have to explain it to you again? The Prince Project is a project that makes everyone bow to The Prince(Goddess) . So, how can they bow to her? Is it controlled by law or something else?"

I fell silent, thinking.

"I... don't understand!"

"What?!"

Honestly, I didn't catch his words at all.

"Explain it simply!"

"Sigh... Fine, here it is... The Prince is an enhanced CODE Magic."

"Ahem (nodding)."

"CODE Magic can only attack those who use Anitya..."

"Ahem (nodding)..."

"So, if you don't have Anitya, you will be immune to his attack!"

I suddenly widened my eyes, my mouth opened as if saying 'oh' inwardly, my head tilted up as an indication of understanding his point.

"You mean, you're asking me to fight her without Anitya's protection?"

"Exactly, that means you must be ready to die in the next battle. Besides, using Anitya or not, it won't affect your life's immunity right now. Using it is what puts you in danger."

I looked down as if trying to make a choice. My eyes caught my shoulders, no longer able to move their children.

"Then, what about my arms?"

"Let me handle that! Only if you're willing," he said with a chuckle.

I slowly closed my eyes, staring at the stone floor. While making my choice, I took a deep breath.

This was the deciding factor for my next battle.

But it seemed I didn't have many options; this was my only choice. My doubts had to be cast aside first.

I opened my eyes with full confidence, "Do it, Brother Nazrul!"