XVII ※ Welcome to the Chamber of Guilt and Really Bad Decisions

When I was about to make my way toward where I knew the rooms of the girls in the trials were supposed to be, four knights wearing sunglasses stepped in front of me, blocking my path. They were an intimidating sight, their stony faces unreadable behind the dark lenses, and their cold, calculating stares made it clear that they were there for no good reason. The air around them seemed to freeze, as if they were a constant reminder of the power they held over me, and how little I could do to fight back.

"What do you want now, your royal highness?" one of them sneered, his voice dripping with mockery. His tone made it clear that he found amusement in my misfortune, taking pleasure in the fact that they were going to make my life a living hell.

I wasn't about to give them the satisfaction of showing how much their attitude was getting to me, though. But the way they spoke, the way they looked down on me like I was nothing more than dirt beneath their boots—it gnawed at me, worming its way under my skin. The knight who spoke stepped aside slightly, his gaze never leaving me as he turned to his companions.

"That's not the way for your chambers," he ordered, his voice now completely devoid of any warmth. It was chilling, like he was merely directing me on a path to my demise, rather than to any place where I might have peace. He gestured to the other two knights beside him, a cruel smirk curling at the corners of his mouth. "You two, take the little whore there," he instructed, his words like venom, before glancing back toward me with a look that could only be described as disgust. "I'll show the boys and Lady Elodie where they'll be staying."

His knights quickly disappeared down the hallway, leaving me alone with his two dogs. Their grip on my arms was like iron. They held me so tightly that the force made the bones in my arms ache, my skin burning under their touch. But I refused to show any weakness. I acted as if it didn't hurt, forcing the pain deep into my chest and away from my face. But of course, that only made them tighten their hold, their fingers digging into my flesh, pushing the pain to the back of my mind. Assholes. Both of them. I couldn't stand the way they treated me like an object, as if my body was nothing more than a tool for their amusement.

As they dragged me along, I started to recognize the way we were going, and my heart sank as I realized the path we were taking—heading straight toward her chambers. Avyanna's chambers. The guilt that had been building in my chest intensified, becoming a heavy weight that threatened to crush me. The realization of where we were going made it all the more unbearable. The memories of her, of the time we spent together, came rushing back, flooding my mind. I couldn't breathe. The guilt, the regret, the anger—it all consumed me, suffocating me from the inside out. I couldn't stand the idea of being back here, walking down this familiar hallway that led to a place that had once been full of warmth and love.

I couldn't keep it all inside anymore. The pressure was too much. I had to say something, even if it was just to distract myself from the turmoil inside me. "Where are you dogs taking me?" I asked, my voice steady despite the chaos that raged within me. I refused to show fear, even though every part of me was terrified. I had to stay strong.

They cursed me in response, their words dripping with hatred. They spat out phrases so vile and filthy that I couldn't help myself. "I didn't know filthy bitch was a place," I muttered, my voice dripping with disdain and mockery. "I thought that was your mothers' name."

Okay, so maybe I provoked them a little. But what else was I supposed to do? The weight of the situation was unbearable. The knowledge that I was back in Avyanna's castle, walking down the path to her rooms, was slowly breaking me apart. The guilt was too much. I couldn't let them see how much this was getting under my skin. I couldn't give them the satisfaction.

They had to know I wasn't weak, that I wouldn't show them the vulnerability they wanted. Even if it made the situation worse, I wasn't going to let them break me. I had to stay strong, even if it was all just an illusion. I couldn't let them see me fall.

As we reached her chambers, the two knights threw me against the door with so much force that I heard something crack in my body. The impact was brutal, but I bit my lip, refusing to give them the satisfaction of seeing me wince in pain. I laughed, even if it sounded insane, because I knew it was better than crying in front of them. If I let them see my tears, it would be over. I couldn't let them have that.

"You guys are so caring," I said, forcing the words through gritted teeth. "Such a duo of gentlemen." My voice dripped with sarcasm, but it didn't matter. They hated me either way. I could hear the bitterness in my tone, and it was obvious that they were doing everything they could to hurt me. "I pray to the Gods that someone will give this same treatment to your mothers, because I bet you would like that, wouldn't you?" I let the words hang in the air like daggers, hoping to provoke them further. I knew I shouldn't be talking about their mothers like that, especially when I knew them. It wasn't the smartest move. But I didn't care anymore. They hated me, and for reasons I couldn't even begin to understand. So why the hell should I pretend to be nice? Why should I act like everything was okay when all they did was treat me like shit, like I didn't even matter to them?

Daisuke might have had a reason to be angry with me—something, at least, that I could somewhat comprehend. But his dogs? They had no excuse. They were just like everyone else, picking a side, choosing to hate me without ever bothering to understand why. I had done nothing wrong to them, not a damn thing. But they didn't care. They had made up their minds. I had become their enemy, their target. They were choosing violence over reason, hatred over any shred of compassion. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The two knights didn't even waste their breath talking to me. They were just brutal—cold, efficient. They kicked me in my stomach with force, again and again, their boots connecting with my flesh until I felt the air forced out of my lungs. It was a kind of cruelty that I had long grown accustomed to, but it still never failed to leave me breathless, to make my body ache in ways I couldn't fully comprehend. Then, suddenly, one of them, Adonis, hurried to open the door to the room I knew all too well. My body was unceremoniously tossed inside, landing with a sickening thud on the cold, unforgiving ground. I barely registered the impact before Sohan shut the door behind me with a loud crash, locking it from the outside. The sound of the lock clicking into place reverberated through the space, a finality that sent chills crawling down my spine, down to my very bones.

Avyanna's chambers.

The reality of it hit me like a freight train, rushing in with a sudden, brutal force. Daisuke was playing dirty—far dirtier than I ever imagined. This wasn't just some punishment; it was personal, vindictive. I never thought he'd dare to go this far, to drag me into this place, into the one space I had tried so desperately to avoid. This was too much. It was beyond anything I could have prepared for. I had no idea how to deal with it. The walls seemed to close in around me, the air heavy and thick with the scent of memories I had tried to bury.

I felt my vision start to swim, the dizziness creeping in slowly, like a dark cloud descending over me. Nausea rose from the pit of my stomach, churning and twisting until it felt like it was going to swallow me whole. My body trembled, betraying me as tears, the ones I had been fighting back for so long, finally began to escape. They burned my cheeks as they fell, hot against my skin, an overwhelming flood that I couldn't stop. The room around me was exactly as I remembered it—intact, untouched, as if she had just stepped out for a moment and would return any minute. Her clothes were still hanging by the bed, her sheets still neatly arranged, like nothing had ever changed. Everything was preserved in time, as if she had just gone for a walk and would come back to scold me for being too reckless. The stark contrast between the memories of her and the cold reality of the present made the pain in my chest feel unbearable.

"You will stay in this chamber until the end of the trials, lowly whore," Sohan hissed, his voice dripping with venom, his words like poison seeping into my skin. "No way out." His tone was filled with disdain, like I was beneath him, unworthy of even being considered human. His words stung, but it was Adonis' shout that made my stomach drop, twisted it with a kind of vicious satisfaction. "Let's see how you handle staying in the chambers of the girl you killed, the innocent you dared to call your best friend, bitch!" he yelled, his voice full of hatred, like every word was a knife aimed straight for my heart.

With that, he kicked me one last time, his boot connecting with my ribs with brutal force. The sound of the door slamming shut echoed in my ears, followed by the unmistakable sound of a lock clicking into place. The finality of it all. They were leaving me here, locking me away in the chambers of the girl I had failed. The girl I had killed. The guilt crushed me all over again, like a wave crashing over me. I could feel the bruises forming on my body, the fractures in my ribs, but the pain was nothing compared to the suffocating weight inside my chest. Daisuke had orchestrated all of this, and somehow, I was the one paying the price. The thought twisted like a dagger, digging deeper with every breath I took.

Panic began to surge within me, my heart racing as if it were trying to escape my chest, my breath shallow and erratic. My head spun, and the room seemed to close in on me. I opened my mouth to scream, to yell for help, to do anything, but no sound came. It was as if the room had swallowed my voice, as if the air had become too thick for me to breathe. It was too much, too overwhelming. I could feel the weight of my brokenness, the shards of my soul scattered everywhere, unable to be put back together.

All over again... I was broken. In pieces. Alone. The guilt of what I had done to Avyanna, the one person I had loved the most, consumed me from the inside out. It was suffocating. It was drowning me. Every breath felt like it might be my last, every heartbeat a reminder of what I had taken from her. It was too much to bear. The physical pain in my body felt like nothing compared to the emotional torment that consumed me, that shredded me from the inside. The brokenness inside me was worse than the fractured bones. It was a kind of hurt that didn't show on the outside but felt so much deeper, so much darker.

My body trembled as nausea overwhelmed me, and I felt the acidic bile rise in my throat before it spilled over. I vomited on the carpet, the taste burning my mouth, my stomach heaving violently. The carpet seemed to absorb everything, as if it didn't care about my suffering. I tried to get up, to move, to find some way out of this mess. But my legs refused to support me. They buckled beneath me, my body collapsing onto the cold floor in a heap. Somehow, I managed to stumble toward the table she used to draw on, the one place I could almost feel her presence. I reached out for it, but my head collided with its hard surface, the sharp pain cutting through the haze of my thoughts.

In an instant, everything went black.

Before I lost consciousness, I could've sworn I smelled blood—thick, metallic, familiar. For a fleeting moment, I wondered if it was mine, if I had finally bled out from all the pain. But then, everything went silent. The world around me faded into nothingness, leaving me alone with my broken thoughts, alone in the darkness.