XVIII ※ Decisions, Death, and a Really Bad Idea: The Nsomi Chronicles

Sohan's point of view

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Alright, I'll admit it. Maybe we went a little too far with Nsomi. Looking back on it, I can see how we lost control of ourselves. Talking for both of us, we were both blinded by pure hatred when she started speaking like that, intentionally provoking us. She knew exactly what buttons to push, and each word she said only made our blood boil more. And even though I hate to admit it, we definitely crossed a line that we can't take back. But here's the thing—does it really matter? No one will know, right? Daisuke doesn't have to find out, at least. Although... part of me wonders if he would even care. After all, he's probably the one who loathes her more than any of us. Hell, he might even thank us in his own way for doing what we did.

We sat there, leaning back against the cold stone wall in front of Avyanna's chamber door. I felt a twinge of guilt in the pit of my stomach as I watched the dim light flicker across the corridor. Even though we blame Nsomi for everything that happened to Avyanna, and all the chaos that followed, I can't help but feel a bit sorry for her. It's a strange thing to feel, but it's the truth. In the end, she isn't really to blame for any of it. She doesn't control the power she's cursed with, and I know, deep down, she didn't ask for any of this to happen.

It's something I think everyone understands, really. No one's foolish enough to believe that she's the one causing all these deaths. And now that she's seen her own death, it's even clearer—she has no control over it. But after everything that happened with Avyanna, and how suddenly she was taken from us, I don't think people care about that anymore. The fact is, they're angry, and they have their reasons. Daisuke sure as hell doesn't care about any of that. His anger is a force unto itself, a thing that seems to grow stronger with every day, every passing moment.

The thing with Daisuke is, he blames her for the one thing that cuts deeper than anything else: she knew what was going to happen to Avyanna, and she didn't tell him. She could have, but she chose not to. He feels betrayed by her—hurt and furious beyond words. The worst part? He feels like he could have saved her if only he had known. He could have done something, anything, to stop it. But instead, he had to stand by helplessly, watching his beloved sister die. I can see it in his eyes—the rage, the grief, the guilt. It's eating him alive from the inside out.

Both Adonis and I were there when it happened. We saw how it shattered him. As his best friends, we know how much he loved Avyanna. The bond they had was... something different, something strong. Her death hit him harder than anyone could understand. It's the kind of pain that doesn't go away. It stays with you, gnawing at you, even when you wish it would leave. We knew her too—Avyanna, the one who was always there for Daisuke, the one who kept him grounded when the world seemed like it was falling apart. Now, she's gone. And that emptiness, that unfillable void, is all that's left.

And we also know that, at some point, Daisuke used to feel something for Nsomi too—maybe not the same kind of love, but he certainly cared for her. That is, until she kept the truth from him. The truth that the girl he loved most in the world was about to die. After that, all the warmth he once felt for her turned to bitterness, to hatred. It's like a switch flipped inside him, and now all he feels when he looks at her is rage. She took something from him that he can never get back, and that's something he'll never forgive her for. Not in this lifetime.

I think, in his mind, he blames her for keeping him in the dark, for making him helpless in a situation where he should have had a chance to make a difference. He believes that if only he'd known sooner, he could have stopped it. He would have done anything to keep her alive. Even if it meant giving up his own life. But Nsomi didn't tell him. And that's what breaks him. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't save her. That helplessness—that crushing feeling of being utterly powerless—is something he'll never forget.

It's probably the reason why the King and Queen agreed to Daisuke's request to make Nsomi participate in the competition. Despite having once considered her like a daughter, after Avyanna's death, they started to turn on her too. The loss of their daughter turned them cold, and they could no longer see Nsomi the way they once had. Especially when she didn't even show up for the funeral. The same girl they had once loved, the one they had taken in as their own, had suddenly become someone they wanted to see suffer. I suppose they wanted to see Daisuke hurt her the way he'd been hurt, to see her pay for the pain she'd caused him. It makes sense, in a twisted way.

No one's seen Nsomi like this before—the desperation in her eyes, the way she came back to the palace after all those years. She's different now. Not the same girl she was before. It's like something inside her broke when she learned her fate, when she saw her own death. It's like a piece of her humanity slipped away, and all that's left is a shell. Even I was startled when I heard that she had seen her own death. That's not something anyone should have to live with, let alone witness. I can't even begin to imagine how disturbing it must have been for her.

Because there's a huge difference between knowing that you're going to die at some specific time and seeing it happen, seeing your own death, and knowing there's nothing you can do to stop it. That kind of thing would break anyone. Anyone. And yet, she's still here, still trying to push through it. But it's clear now—she's not the same person she once was. That fear, that hopelessness, that rage, it's all there, buried under her actions. It's why she stopped wearing the blindfold. That, right there, is a sign of just how far she's willing to go. She doesn't care anymore. She's giving up, in a way. Throwing everything aside and embracing whatever comes next, no matter how destructive it may be.

I find myself wondering, though, how exactly she's going to die. What could possibly happen to her, and how traumatic must it have been for her to come to the decision to act the way she is now? Even though she told her brothers that she still has decades left, I can't shake the feeling that she's lying. If that were the case, why would she be acting so recklessly? Why throw everything away? It doesn't add up. She's not acting like someone who believes they have decades left to live. She's acting like someone who knows that time is running out, and that's what scares me.

And there's also the fact that she begged the King and Queen to let her leave the competition—to not waste an entire year here, stuck in this hellhole. What was going through her mind when she made that request? What drove her to ask for that kind of release, especially knowing how it would look to everyone else? It's like she's already checked out, already planning her escape, even if that escape is just from this competition, from this life.

Then there's the part that haunts me—the decision she made to take off the blindfold, to look into the mirror, and see her death for herself. What kind of madness does it take to make a choice like that? To actively decide to witness your own end when you know you're powerless to stop it? How far gone do you have to be? How insane does someone have to become to put themselves through that kind of torment? It's the kind of thing you can't really understand unless you've been there yourself.

"What are you thinking?" Adonis's voice snapped me back to reality, his gaze sharp as he looked at me.

I sighed deeply, the weight of everything pressing down on me. "Just... What was this idiot thinking when she decided to see her death?"

Adonis turned his eyes away from mine and stared at his hands, lost in thought for a moment. "I don't know the answer to that. I just know that I wouldn't be able to do something like that. Knowing myself, I would've been too paranoid, always trying to find a way to avoid my death—even if it was hopeless."

"Same," I said, my eyes lingering on the door, trying to lose myself in thought, in the endless loop of questions I couldn't answer.