F-18. Winds of Truth

Hivebent

Wendy was using the Fairy's Tail to direct glittering air into Karin's lungs. "Sigh…sigh…" Karin was calmly breathing. "My throat… feels… a little better…"

"Just take it easy. If you used that Ghostly Wail again, your throat might explode."

"No kidding… So, is Melody still distraught?"

"I'm afraid so. And Carla's no better. Anyway, did you say Miyuki was hurt, too?"

"I think so. I don't know where she went."

"I'll find her. Point Me Miyuki." Wendy's wand pointed in the desired direction.

The wind mage wandered around the base for a few minutes. She soon found Miyuki facing a corner above a stairwell. The timebender seemed to be holding her chest. "There you are, Miyuki. Let me heal you, too."

"Huh? It's alright, Wendy, it isn't that bad."

"Don't be silly, I can't just leave you injured." Wendy walked up and forcibly turned her around.

"N-No really, it's fine!"

"Wait… what's this purple goop?" The cut on Miyuki's shirt was stained purple. "Is this… blood? AAAH!" A blue rat suddenly leapt out of the cut and tore at Wendy's face before scampering downstairs. "GUYS, THERE'S A RAT!"

"YAAH!" Panini yelped when the rodent ran around her feet. "Ay don't wanna burn it, someone catch it or something!"

Rat, stop! Rat, stop! Arianna used her telepathy. Instead, the rat chose to run up and bite Ari's toe. "Ow! A polite 'no' would've sufficed, you know!"

"EEEEK!" Cheren stabbed the animal with his sword and lifted it up. "Fresh meat, anyone?"

"CHEREN! That was completely uncalled for!" Arianna shouted hotly.

"Oh, yes it was." Vriska walked up with a smirk. "Take a closer look." She indicated the tiny orange horns on its head. The rat also wore a purple cape.

"Wow, a Super Rat?" Dillon cocked a brow. "In our universe, that was just a joke."

"Oh, DON'T FUCKING TELL ME." Karkat stomped up in anger. "Is that really YOU, MAJORA?!"

He pinched the rodent's face and yanked it off—in a flash, he transformed into Zanifr Mimchi. Cheren fell over with his sword still impaled through him. "Darn. I thought I could go on longer."

"Majora?!" Panini exclaimed. Miyuki had come downstairs, blushing. "Majora was hiding… under your dress?!"

"He…He didn't want to be targeted when we were in his home universe." Miyuki rubbed her arm softly. "S-So I let him hide on me… He said my chest was warm…"

"It was MMarvelous." Majora said solemnly.

"YOU SELFISH BASTARD!" Karkat furiously smacked him left and right. "HOW DARE YOU show your face around here after nearly screwing up our project!"

"Does this have anything to do with why he ended up in my world?" Cheren inquired.

"It's Majora's fault Demise and Malladus 8ecame rogue gods." Vriska answered. "He tried to give the demons too much power in the New World. That's why they kept invading the Mortal World. Personally, I found it rather funny!" 8888D

"And I'm guessing SANULA is around, too." Karkat said. "No one else would give you a crappy magic RAT Mask. And a BLUE rat no less, is that even real in your world?!"

"I re-expanded Sanula before I did the rest of you." Nebula mentioned. "But I assume Majora was hiding on Miyuki when I did her."

"Wellp, glad ya decided to join the fun, Zany-poo!" Cheren said bubbly, patting Majora's shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll make sure Ganondorf doesn't get ya."

"You are behaving unconditionally joyful. I don't like it. In any case, I thank you for the protection, MMiyuki. However, I'll be on MMy own from here."

"Hold on, do you need me to heal you?" Wendy asked. "You're bleeding horribly!"

"Gog, you're an annoying one. We God Tiers self-heal, nothing can kill us."

"Ehh, not exactly." said Vriska. "It's rumored that a God Tier can die if they commit a no8le sacrifice. Giving their life for someone or something. If I felt like it, I could've died for Terezi. 8ut naaaah." ;;;; )

"Oh yes, Terezi was killed. I'MM glad." Majora said tonelessly. "She was the one who found MMe guilty and ordered MMy banishment."

Karkat punched him again. "TEREZI WAS YOUR LEADER, DUMBASS! If you wanted an ounce of redemption, you would feel sorry!"

"I tried to destroy two worlds twice. I am the last person who would care. Besides, you're the leader now, it seems. Now no one will challenge your title. Except Vriska."

"Doesn't sound too 8ad!"

"Just LEAVE, Majora!"

"If you're so distraught over Terezi, why not visit the Land of Living Dead? She and the others you've lost are MMost likely there."

"You Know We Can't Get There Normally." Kanaya told him. "The Valley Is Somewhere In Swirly Space."

"Swirly Space?" Carol cocked a brow.

"Sounds DELICIOUS!" Vanellope cheered.

Kanaya brought up an image of a giant tornado of stars whirling over a spinning cloud in the middle of space. "This Tornado Makes This Region Of Space Impassable, Even To God Tiers. On The Bright Side, You Still Get To Land Of Living Dead… The Bad Way."

"If we could get there, could we possibly find Kimaya's spirit and bring her back?" Cheren asked.

"Maybe me and Fybi could combine our bending and fight the tornado!" Wendy exclaimed.

"I fear that even our wind combined will bear no strength to that behemoth." Fybi said.

"Oh. Then maybe my father can help."

"Truly idiotic." Majora remarked.

"I'm just trying to help!"

"Nebula, I MMay need your assistance." Majora said to the GKND leader.

"What's the catch?"

"The catch is saving your universe. A powerful creature known as the Universe Frog dwells on Froast. We discovered its frozen form hours ago. We MMust recover it before The Thirteen will have another chance to destroy it."

"But what is the Universe Frog?" MaKayla asked.

"MMake your best prediction."

A loud whistle blew—the operatives clamped their ears shut before looking Yuzu's direction. "Well, since I can't tell time in this dimension, I'm going to assume it's lunch time! Everyone to the cafeteria!"

"We don't have a cafeteria!" Karkat stated.

"You do NOW!" Yuzu led them to a huge room where many of the Catch Card victims were already eating.

"Yuzu thought you all might be hungry, so we installed this room along with a kitchen!" Ford Pines said.

"How… did you BUILD this place in such a short time?!" Cheren gawked.

"Must 8e time paradoxes at work again." Vriska said. "In this universe, people experience time flows differently. We 8elieve it's how The Thirteen spread their minions so far so quickly. And NOW we have a lunch room."

"Come on, everybody!" Yuzu cheered. "Some of you must've already ate your snacks, so it's time to refill your tummies!"

"Can't turn down a good meal!" Cheren hopped to a seat. "Golden Cherry Pie, please!"

"Can you make 8utterfly Toast?" Vriska sat beside him.

"Nothing's impossible in Yuzu's Kitchen!"

The operatives and even the trolls sat at tables and ordered some of Yuzu's delicious meals. Wendy fed Carla some kitty cupcakes, but they bore a duller taste for the doggified cat. "Oh, this puppy tongue is miseruff. ! Misery!" She flushed. "Arooo…"

"Don't be sad, Carla. It could've been worse." Wendy looked around the lunch room. The interdimensional Catch Card victims were chatting amongst each other. Some were worried for their friends, others looked happy to be okay. "Can you believe how lively this place became? So many people from so many different universes. Wouldn't it be fun to learn how they're alike and how they're different?"

"You're starting to sound like your father."

"Aiek!" Wendy blushed. "Well… now that I'm looking at it, I understand why he was so curious. It's just nice to see all these people getting along, you know?"

"WHY IS EVERYONE WASTING THEIR TIME?!" Everyone whipped their heads to Terry Stork. "In case you haven't forgot, there's STILL friends we need to rescue! There's STILL five Darknesses we haven't beaten, and Lord English is STILL fucking all-powerful! How can you all look so happy when we're not even CLOSE to saving the universe?!"

". . . ." Everyone gazed at him awkwardly. "Dude…" Cheren said. "What's with you?"

"Terry, are you upset because we haven't found Lola, yet?" MaKayla asked.

"No, I'm sad we left Ice Cream Land without a triple deluxe—YES, I'm mad we haven't found Lola and we're goofing off playing at amusement parks and eating food that looks like it was spewed up by a rainbow!"

"I consider that a compliment." Yuzu smiled.

"Bro, take it easy!" Cheren slapped his back. "We're on a winning streak and we saved plenty of people! Hey, who wants to see a lightshow?!" He went God Tier and flew toward the ceiling. Two golden flames flew from his hands as he whirled them around the room like comets, followed by shining fireworks.

Terry was… dumbfounded. "I expected him to say something comforting… What's this shit?"

"Just chill out, Terry, Lola will be fine!" MaKayla said happily.

"I thought at least you would show more concern. Miyuki, doesn't Cheren seem weird?"

"Ha ha ha!" Miyuki smiled and clapped hands at the lightshow. "Isn't it pretty, Suki?"

"Sister-chan, it's too hot. Can we go back to the freezer?"

Terry was beyond confused. Why did Miyuki suddenly turn happier? Why was Cheren suddenly so carefree? "You're right to be confused." Karkat came beside him. "The power of God Tier is screwing him up. He's losing all sense of worry and fear."

"That still doesn't explain why everyone else looks so dumb."

Casino English

"I love you! You love me! We're a happy family!" Lord English was dancing with crappy MS Paint representations of the Nextgen Kids. They all had derpy expressions and moved with poor animation. "With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you… Won't you love me, too?"

"Uhhhh… My Lord?" Dimentio walked in, his confusion matching Terry's. "You seem… unusual today."

"Dimentio! There's my friend!" English danced over and put an arm around the King of Space. "Isn't it a wonderful friendly day? I like you all so much! Heck, I say screw the casino and make this a bounce house!"

The casino vanished and was replaced by a bouncy balloon room. "Redecorating again?" Bill Cipher entered next. "It's your third change today, My Lord!"

"Bill, just what is going on in His Majesty's head?" Dimentio was holding English's hands as they bounced in circles. "The ruler of the universe should not behave in such a manner. His enemies will laugh at him!"

"Don't you get it? Lord English has begun to see the beauty in friendship! Now that he's fought with him, his personality has become more intertwined with his."

"Ahh… I believe I understand." Dimentio smiled.

"Indeed." Bill smirked. "Nothing weakens a person's guard more than the comfort and joy of friendship!"

The MS Paint Nextgen Kids danced without a care or thought in the world. When reflected in Lord English's Octogan, the image of the real kids gazing at Cheren's golden flames was seen.

Color Realm

April Goldenweek was walking in a realm of colorful skies and floating grounds. Giant brushes and palettes were depicted in the heavens. She stopped and saw a circle of Shy Guys slurping paint out of a spot with straws. "So, if Shy Guys can also enter this world, they must be paint creatures, too." She attacked the Shy Guys with her Keyblade and KO'ed them. "Now that Mary's been cursed, I can't risk coming out of her drawing and getting infected. But Xehanort destroyed all my paintings, too. …Huh?"

April spotted a path of teal paint. Different-colored designs of salamanders, crocs, and frogs were on it. Nooses were hanging on either side of the path, along with some guilty painted salamanders. "This path seems different. I wonder if I could find an exit on it. 'Guess I'll just have to take a look around."

Some planet's stratosphere

After Zach's miraculous ice explosion, Maddy, Haruka, and Mako blacked out. They awoke on a soft, pleasant, fluffy surface, strapped by white strands and facing up at a blue sky. "Mmmmnn… w-whuh? Haruka?"

"Maddy? Where are we?"

"Glad to see you woke up!" Mako said. "After Zach's massive brainfart, he needed to burn out the excess gas. We're currently rocketing through space at an unexplainable velocity."

"Is it unexplainable because we're not feeling anything?"

"To keep our skin from exploding, Zach placed us in the comfiest place on his person: two dandelions growing out of his nose!"

It was then they noticed the boy's face above them. "THAT'S DISCOMFORTING!!"

"Wait, what if we crash on a planet?!" Maddy shouted.

"I'm certain Zach will land us perfectly fine in that pit of molten lava." Mako pointed.

". . . . . ." And then all three girls screamed. "YAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Zach splashed into the lava as if it were refreshing, cool water. He resurfaced in swim trunks and an inflatable chair. "Ahhhh. Nothing like a summer splash to knock the knowledge out."

"WE CAN'T SWIM!" Mad and Haru flailed their arms on the surface.

"No time for splashing now, Zach!" Mako, back in Zach's brain, pulled a lever. "Activating Wacky Rescue Omega!"

E123 Omega from Sonic Heroes flew down on rocket jets. "Initiating Eggman masks." He slapped Eggman masks on the two girls. "FIRE!" He blasted missiles that blew the girls across the shore and beyond with a huge explosion.

"Now utilizing Safe Landing Alpha!" Mako declared.

As they were still flying, a giant TV projected Alpha & Omega…

"Oh, I like this movie!" Maddy said.

…3.

She and Haruka felt drained and bored. They slowly fell toward the surface in depression. "OUCH!!" They impact was very painful. "Why did that still hurt?!"

"Easy!" Mako popped up. "Pain is the body's way of saying 'Thank you for not killing me!'"

"It isn't welcome!" remarked Maddy.

"Why is Anthony flying?" Zach pointed. (Play "X-Naut Fortress" from Paper Mario: Thousand-Year Door.)

The girls looked up, confused by his random comment. Indeed, Anthony McKenzie appeared to be… flying with his arms. They then heard burrowing, looked down, and saw Fybi peep her head out like a mole. Ahead, Miyuki was bouncing around on a pogo stick. It also seemed like Rob Lucci was still as a statue, floating horizontally, and shifting as it "walked" around. The "sky" featured a grass plain with mountains, and the "ground" they stood on was peaceful solid sky.

This was Planet Laer, the Land of Opposites and Oddities. Everything was the opposite of what it was normally and everything else is just weird. It felt like the ROM hack of a videogame. Even weirder was that different people perceive different things from the natural fauna. The characters can even hear my narration. "So, that explains why the lava didn't burn us." Maddy said.

"And we still couldn't swim in it." Haru said. "Guys, let's just call our friends and hitch a ride off this world."

"Good thinking." Maddy tapped her wristwatch. The watch leapt off, scratched her bald head, and scampered off like a kitty. "…So, I don't think we're getting help."

"There's only one way to get through here." Zach spoke seriously. "Find an art studio and become a sushi chef."

"That's brilliant, Zach!" Mako fist-pumped. "Okay! Let's go win that bowling tournament!"

"Um… yeah." Haru shrugged. "Mako, let's look for a vitamin store over there. Zach and Maddy can head that way. Let us know if you find something."

Stage F-17: Land of Opposites and Oddities

Mission: Look for a red-headed girl named Virginia.

Zach and Maddy crossed the first field as Anthony Birds spat down giant water bubbles that bounced around and exploded. Maddy approached the horizontal Rob Lucci, and upon spotting her, it turned upside-down and wiggled toward her backwards. She punched it with Haki, breaking the Lucci into bedspring pieces. Two large boulders blocked the way forward, and a charged punch with Maddy's Haki couldn't even crack them. Zach smiled and simply flicked the boulders away with his finger. They were as light as paper balls.

Now they gazed up at a rugged cliff where a giant spinning fan (with blades made of trees) was looming left and right, blowing a gust of wind down. Their attempts to climb the cliff resulted in mere slipping. Only when the fan was directly over them could they hold the cliff firmly. They had to maneuver left and right in order to stay in the wind gust. At the cliff top, they encountered none other than Shadow Queen Malevolous Djinn. She was also still as a statue, but spun around rapidly as it tried to hit them.

Maddy swung a Haki kick at the Shadow Queen, and she bounced around a series of giant Karkat heads before crashing into a small block in a wall, breaking it. "That felt unnecessary." Maddy said. The kids crawled through the tunnel and arrived at a pathway of spikes with vines hanging in midair. Maddy leapt to grab a vine—"OW!" It poked her like a spike.

"We have to use the spikes, Maddy!" Zach bounced on the spikes like trampolines. "It's just like Mako said: spikes only hurt us because they're scared. That's why we should make friends with them!"

With that, they began to bounce along the spikes and maneuver around the vines. Little Sheila Frantic heads were on the spikes, electrifying their selves every few seconds. As weird as it felt, Zach and Maddy kicked the heads off when their guard was lowered. They arrived at a floating pool of water with torches scattered around them. Using the past as indication, the Murphys hopped the harmless torches, knowing the water would cook them like lava. Some torches blinked on and off—Maddy was almost going to jump the off ones, but quickly sensed their treachery and only jumped the active torches.

From here, they had to jump over a field of platforms over a sky pit—WAIT, instead they landed on the area around it because all the ground areas are pits of death! I mean, they've only been walking on sky for the most part. They navigated around the ground pits before coming to a ledge. Bullet Bills (in the form of Fat Jacks) were being launched from beyond the ledge, too high to harm the kids however.

Forming a crazy thought and knowing the "ground" was a chasm, Zach jumped to bump his head against the underside of a Fat Jack. It resulted as though he had bounced on it, instead under-jumping the series of Jacks to get over the chasm. Maddy shrugged and followed him in like fashion. They past the Fat Jack cannons and landed on a safe sky-foothold. Ahead was a Tetramite hive with a shallow lava river to keep them at bay. The Tetramites took the form of an army of tiny Big Moms.

"This is why it's wise to pack the 4x4 essentials." Maddy drew her B.A.J.O.O.K.A. and shot at the bugs—the Big Moms dodged as the carton projectiles flew through the ground. "Darn it, this level keeps tricking me!"

"Wait, Maddy, they're drinking the lava-water this time!" Zach indicated. "I bet we need them to help us!" He got out a soda bottle and reached a foot over to step on the Big Moms. Indeed, they weren't biting him, they were willing to lift him up. Maddy joined him as Zach poured soda in the direction they wanted to go, making the Big Moms skitter toward it. They navigated around puddles of acid water and reached a narrow, snaky path with holes above it. Snapdragons in the form of dimensionally-stretched Vweebs popped out and tried to snap them from said holes.

They could step off on a safe sky-ground before another ledge-chasm. There were two straight series of falling squares, intended to be Wall Jumped on. Naturally, the only safe Wall Jump parts were AWAY from the squares. They Wall Jumped the blank areas and controlled their natural impulses, a rather difficult task considering how fast everything moved.

After the Wall Jump segment, an invisible stairwell led up a grass hill. However, the stairs seemed to bring them back down with every attempt to go up. "This is getting ridiculous." Maddy huffed, turning to go down in the hopes the stairs would throw her up.

"DANG IT, STAIRS!" Zach was still determinedly trying to run up. "I forgave you for tripping me when I was three, I thought we settled things!"

"Zach, you're messing it up, just walk down after me!"

Due to their opposing directions, a hole seemed to rip open in space in the middle of the stairs. Zach and Maddy stared down curiously. A ladder led down a shaft. The twins exchanged shrugs and decided to climb down. (End song.)

The twins set foot on the floor of a dark corridor. The walls were composed of square-shaped glass cages containing nearly every field enemy from the Gameverse. There were Koopa Troopas, Kremlings, Moblins, Stormtroopers, even a Rhynoc. "This feels real creepy." Maddy said.

They turned two corners of displayed enemies before entering a much larger area. It had a high studio ceiling and a carpet floor. Zach read the large sign above. "'Gameverse Museum'?"

"Darn it, Zach! Zach and Maddy found our secret lair!"

"Wait, are you talking to me or that Zach?"

"YOU Zach, who else is here besides you?! Get them out of here before The Thirteen tracks them."

"I feel like we aren't supposed to be here… Zach, let's go back." Maddy said.

The twins returned through the corridor and climbed the ladder out of the museum. Instead of appearing outside at the staircase, they were now inside a quiet, gray office. They peeked into each section, seeing peculiar businessmen mindlessly typing on typewriters. One was a blue jelly man, another was a sun with arms and legs, and there was also a man with a pink swirly ice cream head. "Maddy… I think I know these guys from somewhere."

"I know them, too. They're from that show I don't watch."

Zach saw a door across the room, labeled Boss. Do Not Enter Unless You're Serious. He eagerly ran up and cracked it open. "Yes, the new office pens arrived today. They write just as well as the last ones." Recognizing the voice, Zach opened the door fully. "Yes, thank you. I'll send you a letter to emphasize my gratitude."

That golden afro glinted in Zach's eyes. "BO-BOBO!!"

"Use your inside voice, please!" Bo-bobo stated. "Huh? Wait a minute, who are you? I don't recall a meeting scheduled at this time."

"EEEEEK!" Zach went fangirl. "I'm so happy I get to meet you! AGAIN! You remember me?! Oh my gosh, if Bo-bobo remembers me, I'll have a baby!"

"Children, I'll have to ask you to leave. You're disrupting my businessmen."

"If this is some kind of gag, when do I start screaming?" Maddy asked.

"Bo-bobo, quit joking and start acting hilarious! Aren't you supposed to be with those other less-funny heroes?"

"I don't have time to entertain you kids, I have important business to conduct. I'm calling security to have you rudely escorted." He pushed a button.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Bo-bobo?" A slender security woman with light-blue hair approached.

"Please escort these children off the premises, Pandora."

"Of course, sir. Children, follow me."

"Not so fast!" shouted Zach. "I should be dying in laughter right now! This is your least funny thing since that emotional talk with Beauty. Crack a nosehair whip, you boring coot- AH!" He and Maddy were binded in sapphire flames.

"If you keep misbehaving, I'll have to throw you in detention." Pandora dragged them away. "Just like your nosy little FRIENDS!" She kicked open a door, revealing Mako and Haruka chained to a roulette wheel over a pit of acid water.

"GUYS!" Maddy screamed.

"Hey, Maddy! Hey, Zach!" Mako greeted spritely. "We found that chicken coup you were looking for… but they blinded us with a chandelier cake and we woke up on this wheel."

"Hm hm hm! This world of opposites is a lush harvesting ground for Chaos Chi!" Pandora levitated the Murphys and stuck them against the wheel via the sticky flames. "It took everything we had to sap the humor out of Bo-bobo's little gang, but it was worth it. Once we do the same for Zachy Dear, the Seven Lights will be totally defenseless! But first…"

Pandora detached Maddy from the wheel, levitating her with the flames. "Maddy Murphy… Medusa wasted quite a bit of time with you. She was told by Bill you would be the strongest Light. She tried to drown you to instigate a fall into depravity. She wanted to weaken the Lights' forces ahead of time. And we had the wrong person! Oh well… You conquered your hatred after all, I suppose. Still, Thanatos and I are just so mad, wasting our time with this prophecy. Medusa was destroyed for fulfilling her duty, we expected to rule this New World, not serving Lord English's underlings! If there's one thing I can do for Medusa… it's to finish what she started."

Pandora tipped Maddy upside-down and dipped her in the acid water. "AAAAHH—bbbblllllttthhh."

"Good-bye, Maddy Murphy… you will finally be erased from the prophecy you were never a part of!"

Hivebent

Wendy Marvell and Fybi returned to Kanaya's computer desk after eating. The computer troll was still in the lunch room, leaving the two to stare at the image of Swirly Space. "Hast thou any further ideas as to clear such a storm?"

"I don't know… Nebula still can't shrink anything massive with Jirachi weakened. Although, I have sort of an idea… My father brought me to a wind spirit called Typheus before I fought him. He wanted me to use Typheus' chi, but he wouldn't give it to me. Typheus said he would only give it to someone called 'The Seeker.'"

"The Seeker, ay…!" Fybi gasped. She remembered three years ago, when Plankton had them captured. "Prithee! Wendy, The Seeker is mine given title in yonder prophecy!"

"It's you?! Man, I should've mentioned this before! I am so stupid!"

"Do not let guilt plague thee. If thine words art true, wouldst thou bring me to Sir Typheus?"

"Of course I will. But we'll have to ask Nebula to warp us across the Furthest Ring."

"Ay, 'twould be wise not to face fearsome beasts again. I shalt gather my sector to make way for the voyage. …Wendy, may I ask, how art thou fairing with Cheren's behavior?"

"Huh? Well… I admire him for staying positive after everything that's happened… but I felt like he was a little rude to Terry."

"Even I agree, knowing Terry's manners are not often saintly. I feel a troubling air around him. I hope we shalt find the truth soon."

Land of Wind and Shade

Under Wendy's guidance, Fybi and Sector W flew to Planet Indo and located the mountains shaped like organ pipes. Wendy led the Nimbi to the top of the stairs where the well was perched. Fybi stared down into it and spoke. "HELLO?"

"UGH! I JUST RETURNED TO MY THREE-HOUR SLUMBER! Who is it this time…" The mountain pipes blew gusts with each word.

"Mine name is Fybi Fulbright. I am one of Seven Lights, and my supposed name is The Seeker."

"Yeah, right. I see about 51 'Seekers' a day, sweetheart. Now go away."

"I should've warned you, he's a bit rude…" Wendy said.

"PRAY, wherefore wouldst I lie?!" Fybi shouted. "I hath read yonder Poneglyph and hath marked myself as the Chosen One!"

"Not by me. Good-bye." A sudden gust from the well sent the girls falling down the stairs.

Anthony stepped out of the S.C.A.M.P.E.R. when he saw the girls land bumpily. "What happened up there?"

"That shameless fool hast no situational sense!" Fybi said angrily. "I do not believeth he is powerful at all, cowering in that cave."

"Hmmm…" Anthony smirked in thought. "Why don't we see that for ourselves?" He walked around the stairs and punched a hole in the wall. "Follow me, girls. We'll go talk to this spirit in person!"

Fybi and Wendy exchanged bright smiles and followed him. Anthony burrowed further underground, using Seismic Sense to detect a larger room deep below. Even better was there was no wind to constantly blow them out. They arrived at the center cavern, large with several stone pipes that led up to the ones on the surface. There was one place where these pipes met up. A tiny green worm lay on that spot.

"AAH! How did you get in here?!" the worm panicked. "I mean… PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE WORM!" He roared in the pipes.

"Is THAT Typheus?!" Wendy exclaimed in shock.

"THAT'S the wind spirit?!" Anthony laughed. "HA HA! He's a shrimp!"

"This is exactly why I hid down here! Everyone in the universe and their ancestor makes fun of me! Well, I may be small, but I'm a freaking powerful airbender!" He inhaled and blew a powerful breath—Anthony stomped up a rock wall.

"Grrrrr—it's too strong!" Anthony grunted.

Diancie popped out of her Spirit Ball. "I'll help you, Big Brother!" She conjured a diamond wall to block the wind.

"Thanks, Michelle!" Anthony burrowed underneath and dug under the spirit. He thrusted his hands above the surface and cupped Typheus under them. "GOTCHA!"

The girls ran out and got on separate sides of Typheus, Fybi aiming her B.O.W. and Wendy her wand. Anthony uncupped his hands. "YAK! Wait! You wouldn't hurt a worm with glasses would you?!"

Anthony popped out of the ground. "We're getting sick of your crud, so if ya make one small move, we'll crush you!"

"You told me you would only grant your Winds of Truth to the one called The Seeker." Wendy stated. "How can we prove to you that Fybi is the one you're waiting for?"

"By telling me the truth." Typheus blew a small, quick gust into Wendy and Fybi's mouths. "Now… are you The Seeker?"

"No, I am not." Wendy answered.

"Yes, I am yon Seeker." Fybi nodded. "I am one of Calliope's chosen Seven Lights."

"…Alright, you pass." The worm leapt onto Fybi's neck. Typheus glowed for a moment as he transferred his chi. He leapt back to his spot. "There. The Winds of Truth are now yours. Now go away so I can get back to sleep."

"'Twas that simple? Dost thou jest?"

"I have no idea what you're saying, lady. Please leave."

"Very well, we shalt. But wouldst thou inform us as to the Winds of Truth's special abilities?"

"Siiiigh…" Typheus was clearly irritated. "What else do you need to know, they're the Winds of TRUTH. If you make people breathe them, they have to answer every question truthfully. They can even answer truths about themselves that they don't know that they know… whatever that means. Oh, and it can change things back to their true form."

The kids gasped. "IT CAN HELP OUR FRIENDS!" Wendy beamed.

"Typheus, we humbly thank thee for thine gift!" Fybi bowed. "We shalt take our leave." The kids proceeded to leave via the tunnel.

"So, you can make people tell the truth." Anthony summed up. "How is that gonna get us past Swirly Space?"

"Mayhaps there exists a hidden truth behind yon tornado. Shalt we learn?"

Swirly Space

They could feel the breeze of the tornado even when it was relatively small from their perspective. "This wind indeed be strong." Fybi said. "'Tis best if the rest of thou stayeth hither."

"At least let me come with you." Wendy pled. "I can minimize myself and ride on you. My magic would still be strong enough to provide protection."

"And were I to lose thee, thou wouldst join Terezi in the dead. I canst already feel strong deception in this storm, and I shalt uncover it. Wish for me, my friends!" She saluted.

"All right, Fybi, we'll leave it to you!" Anthony encouraged. "Show 'em why Sector W is the best!"

"We're still 3rd behind Sectors V and W7." Harvey said.

"Not helping!"

"Hm hm hm! I will not fail thee!" Fybi did a flip, flexed her wings, and took flight. (Play "Hyrule Fields" from Zelda: Four Swords Adventures!)

Stage F-18: Land of Living Dead

Mission: Destroy the giant tornado!

Act 1: Swirly Space

The wind grew stronger as Fybi flew closer, having to evade debris and shooting stars. A long strip of train tracks was wildly flapping toward her, but rather than avoid, Fybi ran along the track and quickly shot light arrows at rolling boulders. The track ended, so Fybi resumed flying; giant fan blades blew her way, but she blew them off course with her own wind. Heartless ships formed square barriers around their selves, requiring Fybi to quickly destroy the ships before crashing into them.

A piece of debris hit her from the front, causing Fybi to fly out of control before setting foot on a piece of flat debris. She held her ground and marched forward, shifting left and right slightly to evade flying Chu-Chus. She came to a vertical strip of debris and ran alongside it, then kicked off to another one on her right, all the while dodging more Chus. Fybi then landed on a long, wide-curving strip, carefully running on it as spikes threatened her life on her left and right. The path ended, and when she took flight again, she moved up and down to evade more spikes.

Fybi thought she would enter the tornado any moment, but no matter how big it got, it was still so far away. "I may hath… underestimated its size. I canst not turn back now."

She evaded cows in space helmets, spinning schools, and three different Wicked Witches of the West. A stage came flying by with a Mariachi Shy Guy band, strumming a catchy song despite the disturbance, and Fybi nearly missed catching a Catch Card that blew by. The card victim was Kiki, a young witch in a blue dress and red hair ribbon. "Thank you for saving me!" Kiki shouted. "Ever since watching that movie, I've had a phobia of tornados!"

"Which film, pray tell?"

"Wizard of Oz!"

"AHH!" A flying house came and stuck Fybi against its side, so she stashed Kiki in her pocket. She was going straight into the center of the humongous whirlwind. Fybi kicked off and away from the house, having to close her eyes from the strong wind. "I am blinded… 'twould be pointless to fly further. I hath no choice… but to trust fates." Fybi inhaled a huge gust of wind until her very stomach felt like it would pop. Then, she blew. "FOOOOOOOOO…" Her lungs glowed white as a great bubble of air expanded. (End song.)

From the distance, Sector W and Wendy saw a white light within the tornado. It grew bigger, glinting off their eyes, until the bubble of air seemed to push the tornado's wind away. After the wind cleared, there was nothing left of the gigantic twister. The operatives gaped and quickly flew into the empty space.

Fybi's neck was sore after the event. She floated in place and took soft breaths. Fybi smiled when her teammates caught up. "Fybi! You actually did it!" Sally exclaimed.

"Didst I not?" Fybi cocked a brow. "Pray… I hear something." She turned and spotted a floating island of jagged rocks. The S.C.A.M.P.E.R. landed on the shore of the isle and stepped into a cave. Inside, they found a washing machine swirling a watery cyclone above it, along with clothes, and a Shy Guy reading a book on a chair.

"Huh? How did the machine get turned down? Well, I'll just crank it up." The Shy Guy went to turn a dial. The small cyclone spun faster and expanded.

"Couldst it be the source of the twister?!" Fybi exclaimed. "CEASE!" She shot arrows and destroyed the washer in three hits.

"HEY! My best hood was in that!" The Shy Guy tried to attack her with his book, but Fybi did a flip-kick and KO'ed him.

"Nice one, Fybs!" Anthony praised. "Now let's see if we can get to-"

"Not so fast!" Two Moblins charged in. "Our pants were in there!"

"EW, WE'RE SORRY!" Harvey yelped, the kids shielding their eyes from the demons' nudity. Fybi shot light arrows to destroy them.

"Wait just a moment!" A Hollow and a Grimm burst in—they had no faces. "We were washing our masks!"

"Shouldst thou not be vanishing in that sense?" Fybi questioned.

"Oh, right." They faded into darkness.

"HEY, JERKS!" Five Rubies came next. "We're freaking NAKED without our light-clothes!" Indeed they were.

"They have no private parts…" Aranea said, disturbed.

"Fare thee well." Fybi shot them, reducing them to gems.

Then a Hair Hunt Troop with spiky red hair came in. "I was washing my bald cap! How am I gonna fit in now?!"

Anthony pushed him out of the exit and stomped up a rock door to seal the cave. "Dang, how many people are gonna come in?!"

The door burst open as a gang of rappers entered, playing a boombox. "Yo, man. We was washing our DJs." Kenny West said.

"I think we fell into a trap…" Aranea inferred.

"You are correct, Kids Next Door!" A familiar foe was perched in a hole near the ceiling. It was Czar Baldy Bald III. "You've fallen in my trap, Super Fist of Pale-Blue Magic: Angry Naked People. These people paid hard-earned money to have fresh, clean clothes, and the only thing that will satisfy them now is your lives! WAIT A SEC, my good robes were in that washer!" He was wearing ballerina clothes. "DARN IIIIIT!"

Fybi shot him out of the hole, but when she tried to fly out, naked Angry Birds flung their selves up via catapult to knock her back in. "Protego!" Wendy shielded the team in a pink bubble. "Don't worry, we can bowl through them like this!"

"Not so fast!" smirked Baldy. "Super Fist of Yellow Magic: Terrifying Follicles!"

Out of Wendy's bald scalp grew little worms with Baldy Bald faces. "AAAAAAHHH!!" She panicked so badly that her shield disappeared.

"How 'bout THIS heap of yo-yo!" one of the rappers rapped as they all ripped off their trousers. "Our stanky slacks, yo!" The pants emitted stink clouds, which formed fists and attacked the kids.

"It's pointless trying to fight this guy!" Aranea yelled. "He's so crazy, it works!"

"Then we need Zach!" Anthony knew, stomping rock jabs up at the rappers. "Somebody call him or Maddy!"

"I'm getting a transmission error." Sally reported, already fiddling with her watch. "There must be something wrong with their communicators."

"I'm afraid to call Michelle out in case he does what he did to the other Firstborn. Fybi, you and Wendy will have to leave and find Zach!"

"I wish to protest, yet I see no value. Wendy, canst thou battle thine fears and point the way?"

Wendy felt her skin crawl from the wormy Baldies wriggling from her head. "I-I-I-I'll try. P-P-Point Me Zach." The wand aimed down diagonally.

Fybi forced a blue Skypian Apple in Wendy's mouth to minimize her. She put the air mage on her head and quickly blasted up through the ceiling hole, escaping the Angry Naked People. "Keep thine wand true." Fybi told her as she followed Fairy's Tail's direction. "We must hasten our flight, lest our friends pay for all their laundry."

Planet Laer; Bo Business

"Hm hm hm! Well, that acid water did wonders." Pandora giggled. "I expected it to melt her flesh into a hideous mess. Instead, this happened."

Maddy's round head was transformed into a box with tape sealing the top. "Please just send me back to the factory."

"Oh, that's far too merciful for you. You know, we've known for a long time this universe was sealed for its chaos. I often wondered, since Arceus created me as the Goddess of Chaos, I was meant to be a condensed version of all the chaos in this dimension. By all understanding, I should rule this place. I wonder if Lord English will let me have it once he's through with you." She looked up. "HEY, where did that brat go?!" Zach was replaced by the General Guy.

"You don't seem to know what real chaos is, lady!" Pandora turned, teeth gritted in anger. "You would have to sacrifice your brain… and replace it with a foot-long grape!" Indeed, such a fruit was stretched out of Zach's brain.

"You want real chaos?! Try to last one minute against my chaosbending!" She flapped her arms, the air exploding toward Zach, but his foot-long grape sprouted teeth and munched the smoke clouds like cookies.

"Smoke is like fecal matter, and like fecal matter, it is healthy for fertilization! Right, Mako?"

"Right on the dot, Zach!" Mako saluted.

"Yeah! Now, get on in my head, baby!"

"Aye-aye, sweetie!" Mako shook forcefully until the roulette wheel detached from its hinge and fell in the acid water. They screamed from the burning, launching to Zach as the wheel attached to his nose and he slurped it in like a booger.

"Now, Super Fist of the Fool: Basketball With Friends!" With a great POOF, they were all in a basketball court. Zach and co. were taller and wearing jerseys.

"Yeesh, we grew faster in five seconds than cartoons do in 10 years!" Haruka exclaimed.

"This won't change a thing, brats!" Pandora stated. "Whether I have to deflate the balls or make the hoops triangular, I'll be the victor!"

"Hah! She thinks we're playing OLD basketball!" Zach laughed. "Lady, we're playing ZACHSTER BALL!"

"And girlfriends get first serve!" Mako was dribbling an Optimus Prime toy along the floor. "Instead of balls, we take whatever Zach likes and see if he's pleased!" She slam-dunked the toy into Zach's mouth.

"Mmm, Primy! Okay, Mako, you are hereby spared from my Tickle Link Attack."

"His what?" asked Maddy.

"TIGGLE-WIGGLE-WIGGLE! TIGGLE-WIGGLE-WIGGLE!" A stampede of Links from various Zelda games charged in and started tickling Pandora, Maddy, and Haruka.

"WAAAAH! Zach, tell them to sto-ho-ho-hoooop!" Maddy giggled.

"Two can play at this game!" Pandora sent her Chaos Chi at the Links.

"HYAAAAK!" With a huge BURST, all the Links blew up into mountains of Rupees. The kids were buried, but Pandora was safe at the top. "Now I'll break the Rupees to shards and spike them to death!" In a brief second, the Rupees shattered like glass.

"Rupee-O's go great with milk!" Maddy was on a diving board and pouring a huge jug.

"How did you get up there?!" Pandora shouted.

"Glaaaaaahhh." A river of milk began to flow into Zach's giant mouth. Pandora jumped off the Rupee shards, letting him devour it all. "Mmmm… I do enjoy a good money breakfast! For this round, Maddy scores… everyone a round of kickboxing with Jar Jar Blinks."

Jar Jar came flying with a foot out. "Supah Gungy Kick: EATCHA GRAHAM CRACKERS!" In a flash, graham crackers poofed out of thin air and whacked everyone.

"Who's next to feed the Zachster? Haruka, you haven't served, yet!"

"I don't know what you like, Zach!"

"Then I'll have to give you a red card." Zach did so.

"Great." Haruka rolled her eyes. "I guess I can't play Zachster Ball. Huh?" The card depicted Lee Andrew kissing a Red Yoshi. "WHAT DOES THIS IMPLY?!"

"HEARTBREAK hits you in the FACE!!" The image popped out of the card, punching Haruka in the face.

"Zach, why are you attacking your friends?!" Maddy yelled.

"Friendship is Magic, and magic entails mixing toast with cocktails!!" Zach declared as two Karate Ponies attacked Maddy and Pandora.

"It's only fair that your friends fight back after this abuse!" Pandora grabbed Maddy and Haruka's heads. "Mind Distortion!" She SHOCKED them; the girls screamed in blind fury, burning with sapphire flames as they charged to attack Zach.

"My friends won't attack me! Because I have faith… in my Bus Fist!" He raised his bus fist and sent them flying with a massive punch.

"This is transportation of the authoritarian democracy!" Mako spoke knowledgeably.

"Ha ha ha! You're doing more harm to your friends than I am!" Pandora giggled. "I admit your idea of 'chaos' is rather… chaotic for me, but as long as it works to my advantage, by all means, make all the mischief you WANT!" She lashed an electric whip at Zach, causing him to stutter incoherently. "We'll just see the limits of your madness!"

Zach POOFED and transformed into Willy Wonka. "I was expecting a little more than that…" said Pandora.

"You realize this guy took children in his factory to have them executed?"

"I'm aware."

"Well, now he's spewing TOOTHPASTE!!" Wonka's belly burst open, spewing a stream of toothpaste.

Pandora and Zach's friends were being washed down a fluoride river. "Avast, there be Floss Sharks afloat!" Mako was riding a yacht and viewing through a telescope. A group of sharks with toothbrush teeth were swimming to them.

"How about I gunk up those pearly whites!" Pandora used her bending to turn the brushes rotten and shriveled.

"Joke's on you!" Zach smirked. "Because I set you up on a blind date with those sharks!"

"HUH?!"

Pandora was locked in a dark room. Spotlights came on to highlight the sharks, surrounding her and looming forward for a kiss. "NO! NO! NAAAAAHHH…!" Her cries went unheard. Outside, Maddy, Haru, and Mako were snickering.

"Let's see the happy couple!" Haruka opened the door with a camera ready. Pandora was eating roasted shark sticks. "WAAAAH!"

"Don't be shy! Have some!" The shark sticks grew shark lips and SMOOCHED the three girls.

"AAAAH! IT'S EATING MY FACE!"

"MINE, TOO!" Maddy screamed.

The sharks detached: Maddy had Goombella's face, Mako had April's, and Haruka had Jar Jar's. "Who've these sharks been seeing?!"

"A shark's love is as precious as a kitty's!" Zach was dancing with a cat-headed shark. "If ya don't treasure each moment, you can choke on a CAMERA!!" He shoved movie cameras down each of their throats.

Mako swallowed it whole, but her stomach quickly compressed back to normal. "Kids, film should only be ingested through the eyes!"

"BLECH!" Pandora choked. "That's it, the hell with this Gigai! Time to return to my goddess form!" Dark blue flames erupted from her body. "You kids will be sorry! Thanks to Lord English, my true form is more powerful than-!"

Pop! She turned into a roll of film. "WAH!! What the hell have you done now?!"

"In trying to expel your spirit from your body, you instead expelled the film from the camera you swallowed, and henceforth your soul has become film. And NOW, you will go the way film has gone!" Zach grabbed the film and threw it in a burning barrel. "Your ultimate fate!"

"NOOOOOOO…!"

And with another poof, the barrel turned into black high heels. "New shoes for my girlfriend!" Zach slipped them on Mako's feet.

"Aww, thank you, Zach. I'll be sure to wear them to all my failed interviews!"

Maddy felt her round head. "Well, my head is back to normal… save for lack of hair. You actually saved us, Zach! Even though you attacked us a bunch of times to do it…"

"I only hurt ya 'cause I love you, Maddy!"

"Love hurts, all right. Wait, I'm sensing someone else! It's… Fybi?"

She looked to the room's entrance, just in time for Fybi to enter. "Hark! Wendy, we hath found them!"

"Fybi? And…" Haruka squinted her eyes, seeing the small figure on Fybi's hair. "Wendy?"

"Great, now can we please bring them back to our friends?" Wendy shuddered from the wriggling Baldies on her scalp.

"Oh, dear. You look like you've had some trouble." Haruka said.

"We were making flight to yon Land of Living Dead, but He Who Be Bald hath ensnared us in devious trap." Fybi explained. "Our belief was only Zach could counter his lunatic ways. Henceforth, Wendy and I fled, but I pray we return posthaste to save my team. How coincidental to locate thee in such an odd place."

"Not like we had much choice. Well, Zach, what do you think? You ready to take on one of the Darknesses?"

"We can't leave NOW!" Zach said. "Sector W can hold it, there's someone else we need to rescue! Bo-bobo turned into a Bore-borebore! If we don't bring back his humor, the Hair Kingdom is doomed!"

"I truly bear no understanding of what thou speakest." Fybi said in disbelief.

"He means the weird office guys in there." Maddy pointed. "Apparently they've been brainwashed into being boring businessmen."

"Hmmm… Now I believest I bear the solution."

Fybi walked out into the offices, followed by Zach's group, who were curious about Fybi's solution. Fybi blew a glowing breath at Don Patch, Jelly Jiggler, and Soften, who all seemed to perk up in shock. Then, Fybi entered the boss's room. "Who is it this time?" Bo-bobo asked in irritation. "This better be relevant to my business or I'll have you properly escorted."

"Thou art in need of fresh air." Fybi blew the Wind of Truth against him.

"Guuuh…!" Bo-bobo gaped. All of a sudden, the truth came flying out. "When I was four, I dropped Battleship's pet zebra in the chicken factory!! I'M SORRY, GUNKAN!"

Don Patch proclaimed loudly, "One of my spikes is a fake that I stole from my brother and I can't remember which one!!"

"I'M NOT MADE OF REAL JELLY!" Jelly Jiggler cried.

"I had my real head surgically removed and replaced with ice cream." Soften said. "I looked ugly…"

"I drew my face over one of the symbols on Jelly's Lucky Hanky!" Don Patch cried.

"I convinced a little girl to rob a butcher shop, saying she was dreaming!" Jelly followed.

"I used one of JoJo's nosehairs to floss my teeth!" Bo-bobo confessed.

"I look up all my wisdom comments on a comedy website…" Soften said softly.

The four heroes could spew up a sea of random confessions. They talked endlessly and the kids had to shut their ears. "This didst not work the way of mine intention!" Fybi yelled.

"At least they're being nonsensical again." Maddy said. "Are you happy now, Zach?"

Zach was staring at Bo-bobo blankly. He seemed to be entranced by his random ramblings. "I…I'M NOT WORTHY TO FILL HIS SHOES!"

"Say what?!"

"Ordering immediate shutdown of the factory!" Zach lifted his shirt, aiming to push a red 'LAST JOKE' button.

"NOOO!" cried Mako. "Maddy, quickly!" She grabbed the sister and dove headfirst into Zach's mouth, slurped up like a black hole.

"…I fail to understand once more." Fybi commented.

In Zach's brain

Mako and Maddy winded up in a dark bedroom with a window letting in gray sunlight. Zach was on the bed, wearing a sad sack. "Sack—I mean, Zach, what's wrong with you this time?" asked Maddy.

"I'm not worthy to battle Baldy Bald. No matter how funny I try to be, I can never be like Bo-bobo. Next to him, I'm as good as the new Fairly Odd Parents."

"Zach, you can't spend your time thinking about if people are funnier than you." Mako reasoned. "Instead, think about the people who are LESS funny than you! Be thankful for having such a big sense of humor at all!"

"Yes, and Zach, I didn't spend the past three years doing comedy gags with you just to see you put a bag over your head." Maddy stated. "This isn't about trying to be the funniest, it's about saving our friends and saving the universe. I mean, if YOU can't beat Baldy Bald, then…then… pigs will never have a chance to fly!"

Zach gasped. He opened his window and saw two pigs on his front lawn. One was constructing a one-man plane, the other was in the cockpit. When the former gave the thumbs(?)-up, the pilot started the engine and flew. A warplane piloted by chickens flew by and shot it down. The chickens snickered and high-feathered.

"You're right, Maddy! I MUST do it! For pigs, cows, and dodos everywhere!" Zach spoke passionately, the eyeholes on his sad sack furrowed.

"That's right, Zach! Let's ask Fybi to lead us to them ASAP!"

"Fybi's too slow. I know a quicker way. To the Zacharang!" They ran outside to a giant boomerang with seats. The boomerang launched itself into space.

Swirly Space

"Anthony…" Harvey panted in exhaust. "I don't think I can calm down another angry naked person. To be fair, their anger is rational."

"Luckily, Ragyō knitted me an extra uniform." Baldy Bald fixed on an identical set of clothes. "Your end is near, you meddlesome kids. Every naked person you beat adds more to your bill. Your allowances will all go to them and you'll never buy another ice cream for as long as you live!"

"I can't believe THIS is how we go out." Aranea sighed, kicking the privates of an armorless Heartless Soldier. "You know, Adam and Eve didn't have a problem being naked! …Until they ate the forbidden fruit."

"The only one facing their doom today will be YOU, Baldy!"

"Oh, no! An offscreen voice! That can only mean…!" He looked up at the sky.

Zach and his team were whirling on the Zacharang at high speed. "Super Fist of the Fool, Epic Boomerang Entrance!"

"Oh man! That entrance IS epic!" Baldy gawked. "My mom never let me have a boomerang! She said they always turned against you!"

"We ride the boomerang of truth and justice, saving friends and delivering cupcakes at the speed of sound! Now, Baldy Bald, taste my Super Fist of the Fool:" The czar braced himself, the boomerang seconds from impacting. "Monkey With a Pen At…tack?" The boomerang stopped. "WAAAAAH…!" And with that, it went flying all the way back where it came.

Baldy Bald blinked in confusion. Sector W drooped in disappointment.

Fybi and Haruka watched as the boomerang crashed in the office. "Um…" Zach faced the viewers and said, "Pretend we landed successfully and we'll start next chapter at the battle."