Tempted and lost. .

There was a fiesta in Roman catholic church and it is already a tradition for them to celebrate it and had an offering for their gods. They prepare a lot of foods, fruits and drinks for that especial occasion called Sinulog. They also offer dances and play music along the way. They made it a contest and also a presentation in that fiesta. Our neighbor invited us and i was present there. I felt deep in my heart i was being convicted that i should not go and eat with them but still i had chosen to have fun. I don't know if i only missed it or just because of my family problem. When i got home i opened my facebook and a message appeared in a post again asking, "Why did you eat the foods for the gods?" After i read that message i prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for what i have done wrong. I really don't know that it was wrong to eat with them. That i should not eat their food for their gods. Until i opened my Bible again and i read there that if i had known that it was for their gods i should not really eat it. Filipinos loves singing too and during that fiesta many people rent karaoke because they missed that kind of habit. During the pandemic karaoke was prohibited so they tend to compensate it. Many people really misses celebrating that fiesta because of the typhoon too. Before there was no electricity and when they have it they didn't miss the chance. We also had a karaoke in our house but we still don't have a power supply because when my mother left us it was not yet done to transfer from our new house. Even myself loves to sing and singing karaoke is my favorite hobby too. I was thinking again that i could have some fun for a little while and forget my problems for a moment. Late in the afternoon i showed up to my aunt again and i sang there my favorite worldly songs. They convinced me to eat some foods again but i already refused that time. My father also followed me there and he had a few drinks. I had a drink too for later because i was tempted and we are both really lost. Maybe we have done that thing because of my mother who left us or if it was truly ourselves who wants to forget the pain we're hiding inside. After in my aunt's house i also went to my cousins. They were also having fun singing karaoke and a had little disco. I talked with them and also share Jesus even i was drunk. I know i was wrong but i can't stop sharing to them still. I can see in their eyes looking at me differently but i didn't matter anymore. We danced the music for their gods called Sinulog and i was really dizzy that moment and went home. When i woke up i remember everything what i did last night. It was very wrong and not very pleasing to God. I open up my phone and the message was this, "Why did you drink with the drunkards and why did you dance for their gods?" I repented again more and more but in that time i cried so much. I told God, "I'm sorry my God for what i have done. I know i was tempted please forgive me still Lord. Maybe i just wanted to forget the loneliness i felt. I am very sorry Lord." Until then when many fiestas came i never go out and join with them again.

There was a birthday for their 2 year old son of my neighbor. They celebrated it near our house and they invited me. I went there and ate with them. They were alcoholic people too and they tried to gave me a shot but i refused. Their aunty visited also in that birthday celebration and she brought a one bottle of wine. They opened it and they gave me a shot again. I have read in the bible that drinking wine was there. So i thought inside my mind and ask God, "Lord, is it really okay to drink wine?" But i was tempted again and had few shots until it was empty. I felt a bit dizzy because the wine was strong. When i went home i am not yet sleepy. I read my bible then and i open it heartily and i have read in Titus, "You should not be excessive in wine fot it is better for a woman to stay at home and care for her husband or their children. You shoudn't be greedy in drinking wine." I was wrong again and being convicted by the Holy Spirit. I repented of my sins again and i saw a video popped up my phone about wine. I played it over and it was all about wine. The wine before was not alcoholic and only made from fruit juices. But now in our generation the wine is very strong and has more alcohol content. I already realize that i should never drink again. When we get drunk we are not ourselves anymore. We are controlled by our emotions and even sexual desires. It is where sinning starts especially if you don't have self control. I left drinking now because it would only causes us to sin in so many ways. It also waste our money and even harm our health in the future. Our body is the temple of God and we should not abused it. God is holy so we must live also in holiness. Maybe Jesus get along with the people to drink a wine before but he told in the Bible that in His place there is a different drink. I am glad that God revealed to me many sins and helped me to overcome that vice i am chained before. Maybe drinking is my weakness but i am trying my best to left it with God's help. ❤➕❤