Ch 148: Cemetery

How much heartbreak can one person take? I asked myself this as the pastor said the final words to rest Ben in the ground beneath us at the cemetery.

Gloomy clouds were rolling in as Ben's loved ones and friends laid roses on his coffin. Ms. Thorn and I set the last two red roses on his coffin. In mourning silence, Ben was lowered to the ground. Mr. Collin touched my shoulder as a tear curved around my cheek. Ms. Thorn dried her tears and sniffled before she walked away. I remained right here watching the coffin slowly disappear. Once they started to bury Ben's coffin with dirt, I walked away. Only to be stopped by his grieving parents.

"You were the last person Ben talked to before he was..." Mrs. Parker choked on her words. Instead of talking she pulled out this thin navy blue box from her purse.

I took the box as Mr. Parker spoke.

"You knew the girl Ben bought this bracelet for. It's only right that she gets it and knows he truly started to have feelings for her. Ben never pursued any crushes unless he thought she would be his future wife."

I looked out past their heads and saw Ms. Thorn was already pulling out and leaving.

"I'll make sure she gets it," I promised, looking back at them again. Then I hugged them both. When they walked away, I handed the navy blue box to Mr. Collin. "Ben was giving it to Ms. Thorn. He started having feelings for her."

Mr. Collin's eyes were heartsick and he opened it up to see the beautiful gold bracelet. "I'll be sure to give this to her," Mr. Collin softly said in this devastating tone.

"I need a moment before we leave," I told Mr. Collin and his bodyguards.

They gestured to understand and I walked off into the cemetery with a single red rose in my hand. Within minutes, I found Elena's grave. I rest the single rose on her gravestone with the other flowers and decorations her family and friends placed around it.

For the moment, I reflected on my times with her and my time with Ben. If only I had the gift to reset time then I would. I wish I never went to Egypt. After that tragedy in Egypt, life has only taken more from me and I'm not sure how much more pain I can endure.

On those thoughts, tears burst one after another down my cheeks. Raindrops started to mix with my tears. This summer mist cried from the gray clouds above me. Again I stared at Elena's grave for a moment. Grief swallowed me whole from losing Elena and Ben at Rex's hands. Life was darkening my world into nothing but loss and sorrow. Abyss devoured me in this black pit.

I stare out into the cemetery dwelling in the despair of my loss. Rain showers down on my knee-high black dress. My straight blonde hair was getting damper by the second.

Until I no longer felt the sky crying with me. Instead, I heard it trickling on this shielded fabric above me. And I also felt this presence next to me. I looked to my right and saw Kai standing there with an umbrella over our heads. For the moment, I was astonished to see him here with a soft gaze in his eyes. I almost couldn't believe he was there.

"Kai..." My voice wavered away in my grief.

"I wouldn't want you to catch a summer cold, my love," Kai smiled delicately at me.

I couldn't help but lean my body up against his. Putting one arm around my body, he cradled me right into his warmth.

"Thank you for being here," I merely whispered.

"I am always here," Kai whispered, and then his lips planted a single kiss on my head.

Warmth engulfed my whole body and drew the shivers away while he held me. "When I got my head injury at Mr. Jones's fundraiser, did you leave?" I asked lightly to remember what my friends told me at dinner.

First Kai kissed my head and then he said sweetly with regret. "After I mistakenly pushed you, I left to get my sister-in-law Zoey to help you. I never meant to hurt you like that and I am sorry I did."

"I forgive you," I whispered in the rain. In my heart, I knew my friends were mistaken by their assumption to think Kai walked away without a care. It turns out that what I thought was correct.

~~~

Hours could have gone around me for all I knew. That he and I remained there in silence together. Patiently, he allowed me to mourn my loss.

Right now, I am so grateful for him. Even my heart flutters in my chest to think I could be feeling something strongly thriving inside myself. Maybe in a reasonable measure, I was growing more admiration for this man than I could even understand.

~~~

Kai drove me back home and I got a shower and then I felt sick to my stomach.

"I need soup broth," I sat at my bedside craving to have soup broth. I wasn't sure where this need was coming from but it was a craving taste I had to fulfill.

Kai kinda looked at me and knowingly smiled before he texted someone on his phone.

"It will be up once it's made," Kai told me, putting his phone away in his pocket.

In a matter of minutes, my soup was here and I sipped it down on the couch. The warm bowl of soup was delicious and satisfying. Kai sat next to me flipping through channels. When he found a movie to watch my stomach boiled with a strong feeling of pain. I put the bowl down on the stand and ran to the bathroom just reaching the toilet in time, I upchucked my broth. While Kai helped me manage my hair.

"Take another pregnancy test," Kai said once I finished brushing my teeth.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea,"

I couldn't disagree with him and took the test.

Once I was done we both read the results that said negative again.

"Why do I keep puking?" I questioned out loud without realizing it.

"Will take another one next week," Kai kissed my head.

The only thing I could think was causing all this vomiting was stress. Plus I am on the pill. I know I cannot be pregnant.