I finally found him

Kendra's POV

His eyes glistened everytime I stared into them, his smile made my heart skip a beat everytime I looked at it, his laughter so soothing I thought it was a lie and most of all, his personality shined out of all these, my heart would flutter everytime I saw him, just be himself.

Nowadays it's hard to find someone like that but I got lucky and I finally found him. He made me laugh, cry, smile, be clumsy, stutter and goofy. He taught me how to love, lust ,want and need someone but now it's all gone.

Here I am watching his casket being lowered into his grave, wow, I can't believe those words are coming from me.

We had talked about death at different levels on how to handle it or what to make of it or what it will be like without the other. But in all honesty our conversation was worthless; there is no way to handle this and there is no way to accept this, just here and now.

I want to hate him but I can't because I love him. I spent all my days with him, he was or he still is my everything. He treated me like a person, friend, lover, best friend and most of all family.

I want to sit by a corner and just hide from the world, all the pity and sad eyes am getting are making me sick. They act like they know what am going through but they don't.

His casket finally hits the ground, when I hear this I realize that this is it, his presence in my life has come to an end. My knees become weak and I kneel down on the ground and sink my head into the ground.

"How am I going to live without you! Huh! How! Why Cayden?!....(sobs) Just tell me!!" I couldn't stop the tears, my heart breaks more as the tears flow.

I feel someone hold me, I look up with tears still flowing.

"Honey, I know this is hard but just stand, it's time for us to leave" My Mother pleads.

"This...(sobs)...is...(sobs)..my fault, if I just convinced him to not go out that night. I had a bad feeling about it but I didn't stop him."

I regret just letting him walk away.

*********FLASHBACK*********

"Hey, Babe am gonna go out now. I just wanna know if you will be fine?" He says.

"Nope, you are not going anywhere. We are supposed spending more free time together but you don't even wanna do that" I raise my brow to scare him.

"I know we are usually too busy to spend time together but same goes for the guys. It's been a while and they just want to have a bit of fun. Trust me I will be fine; you don't need to make small excuses like we don't spend enough time together, to tell me that you are worried." He reassures me.

"Fine! you got me, I am worried....it's that I have a bad feeling about this and this feeling has been lingering on my mind for a week now. You know that calm before the storm, I just feel that the storm is close. It's really late, you can just...not go?" Giving him the best pleading face I could give.

" Nope, I promised the guys and am going. I will be back before 1am and stop being paranoid." He then took me in his arms and hugged me tightly and said "I will come back to you love, just don't worry too much" he kisses the top of my head and let's go of me. I watch him walk away but he comes back to kiss me again, then finally walks out and closes the door behind.

*****Three hours later*****

I texted Cayden an hour ago and he hasn't replied; I want to savour his words and trust in them but I can't, I am so worried.

(phone rings)

I look at my phone and it's Cayden, now I can be relieved. I pick up the call "Babe, am so worried right now...what time are you coming back...I" before I could say anything else am stopped.

"Mrs Miller?" The male voice asks.

"Whose this?" Why is someone else with his phone?

"Are you Mrs Miller the wife to a young Mr Cayden Miller?" He asked.

"Yes, I am." As I say that fear creeps in me.

"This Darren from Crescent Heart hospital, unfortunately your husband was brought here after experiencing a blow to the head during a car crash and they..." He explained.

The man's voice tuned out, I could only hear a murmur. This is not true, this must be a prank. I just...I just ...need to know " Is he okay?!" tears start to slowly surface.

" Uhm..ma'am he didn't make it, but he murmured a few words from what we were told by the paramedics that brought his body in. He said ' Tell her that am sorry, I didn't stay at home. She was right.' . Those were his last words, but from those words madam I know for a fact your husband loved you" He silently spoke.

I bursted into a pool of tears, I couldn't hold in the heartache anymore. His gone, my husband is dead.

********END OF FLASHBACK*******

My mother attempts to lift me up but fails. I couldn't leave his grave, if I did I would be admitting defeat and that my husband is completely dead. But I don't want that to be true and worse of all I feel selfish for not wanting you to leave me. Cayden I just want you back can't you see that. I finally found him but I guess I have to accept that I lost him.

************THE END***********