Chapter 5

It was on a Friday morning, third term, about two weeks from the form three end of year exams when I forced myself to submit one poem. I couldn't take it any longer for I thought I was going to lose her. I wrote her a poem that informed her of my love for her . The poem was designed such that she wouldn't reply. It wasn't a proposal; it just consisted of what I felt about her. My intentions were to put a hint into her mind that someone loved her, me. It was more of a confession.

Recently she had requested for my Computer Science project documentation and I was to give her that Friday in the Computer Science lesson. I took the opportunity to give her the Computer Science project documentation together with the poem in a flash drive. I was shy to tell her that I wrote her a poem so I thought of a smart plan to tell her that there was also something important in the flash drive.

When I handed her the flash drive I warned her, "Don't open too much files, if you do and find something, don't be surprised"

I knew she would persist against my words and review any contents in the drive. It worked.

The poem was as below:

My beloved.....

When I look around I'm looking at you I see the mightiness of the creator I see life, beauty and hope You are filled with elegance, wonder and love I'm always enlightened when I look at you Your beauty never seem to fade You are an earthly star to my life I love you darling

You lift me up day by day Please do hold me up When the flowers bloom in the morning When the sun peers over the horizon I think of you I think of your love

I never had something to lose till I found you I never had a reason to live till I met you I never felt lone till I saw you for the first time Just like a flower, you make my day beautiful I like you, I love you Smile to keep my blood running Stay alive to keep my heart beating

Words alone can't tell how much I love you but know that I'm much in love with you; You are beautiful You are a charming and loving doe

It's surprising that you weren't my dream girl for I didn't know such goodness existed Now I've found and loved you Let the heavens and the earth be my witness I obligate not to let loose what's between you and me

The PDF of this poem had the footnote with her initials.Trust me the above was true; I can't believe I met an angel, with love.

I thought of it all over the weekend. Was she going to see it? And if she sees it, what would be her reaction towards it? What if some students beside her see it? What would they think of it? What would they think of me? Questions followed questions.

2

I being very good at recognizing human behavior towards me; helped me to note that the poem had been read by a minimum of four people; her, her best friend, Bridget and her close friends, Tatenda and Beauty. Firstly Beauty called my name and was excited as she got away from my reach. Secondly, the way they stole glances at me, Tatenda and Beauty in the classroom. Their looks told me something. They were desk mates who occupied the chairs immediate to the teachers table. Here and then they would look back at me and show an interest in me having to notice it. Since I was a step ahead, I pretended not to notice it. It was good for them to know it but on the other hand it wasn't good. I just wanted it to be Tiara.

It was now afternoon that same day. I had an accounting presentation which I had fully prepared and perfected. Not only was the presentation good, I the presenter was just clean and perfect like always. I swaggered to the white board in front of the class with pure determination. Tatenda looked at my well pressed uniform and made a whisper but enough to reach Tiara's ears, "Well, the pressing". Her intentions were to draw Tiara's eyes to my well ironed school uniform. I pretended not to notice it again. The presentation was so good that the teacher was left with nothing to add or subtract. When I was concluding my presentation the teacher's phone rang and she went outside. I heard whispers coming from Beauty, Tatenda and also Bridget who was sharing desks with Tiara which stated, "Tiara, Tiara, Tiara" and then it faded. I just didn't give attention to it since I wanted to create an atmosphere that I did know nothing. Naughty Tatenda and Beauty handed me a textbook to hand over to Tiara as I went back to my desk. They wanted to see the picture of me and Tiara close to each other, maybe. I didn't like this immature act but since I was pretending to be in the dark I accepted it. I reached for Tiara and I vowed to look into her eyes. She was very beautiful, her eyes were just…, you know. When I did so, she wasn't actually shy but I could see an element of it, love. I could see that the poem touched her like I knew she would. She denied possessing the textbook and I knew it wasn't hers but I had to pretend. I pretended to be confused before Bridget, her best friend whom she shares the desk with offered to take the textbook and warned her friends, Tatenda and Beauty to take care. Life went on, acting like I know nothing.

Since it was a day away from the final exams I calmed. I also urged myself to stand down with my plan, to effectively notify her of my love towards her. I also respected her that she needed free air to prepare thoroughly until the end of the exams. Since then I would proceed with my plans. Exams were fair but time went slow, it was hard to sustain.

Unlike others who lose their touch when in love. It was different in my case, I had to work extra hard to capture any concept in academics so that I wouldn't be dumb when she comes with a problem. I had to express to the limit of my intelligence thereby impressing her to the fullest.

2

When Lillian was away my writing decreased, but she stimulated it, Tiara. My talent was back to normal. Thank God I met an angel; shine bright with beauty and magnificence. I ceased to do song writing and composing naturally and obsessed myself into poetry and writing.

As time went on something changed. It was now difficult to get close to her. One, she never stayed alone; she always had an escort, her friends. Two, she seemed to be avoiding my eyes, she avoided me. To my side, fear grew inside with the elapse of time; it was difficult for me to talk to her like I used to do.

I was now on the verge of thinking of a plan to finish what I started. I knew that if she goes to holiday without me speaking to her it would be hard to do so the following school term in Form four.