Chapter 10

Finally Merlin had the whole apartment to himself. He came early, before the night had ended, without telling Paula and Heena was still not here. He messaged her quickly to take a half day holiday. He had called Ervin for not so professional work and didn't not intended to be disturbed while at it. He did consider Ervin somewhat of a hot ass guy and he likes making out with him, they haven't gone farther than kissing and a little grinding. Merlin wanted to go further. As for Ervin, he wasn't so sure. He was a nice and innocent guy but there was also this hidden obscureness to his attitude that bothered Merlin. Being a vampire, Merlin knew he can't love but he was sure curious as hell.

Elevator bell dinged and Ervin came out wearing a blue suit and yellow tie.

"Can we talk? I have to go for a job interview." Ervin said as soon as he came face to face with Merlin. His posture was that of defence and jaws tight under the skin. Merlin raised his eyebrows in a questioning glare.

"Is that why you are wearing that?" Merlin gestured to his very formal attire with squinted eyes.

"Yes and can we really talk?" Ervin asked again.

"Talk?"

"Yes. Talk. As in no making out and no touching, talk."

Merlin walked over to the couch sitting at the center of the hall and slumped down on it with a thud. Ervin too took the seat on a single chair sofa beside and uncomfortably fidgeted with his fingers.

"You know I am not— I don't do quick flings. My last boyfriend lasted for two years before he moved to another state. I have been single for more than an year now." Ervin took a deep breath before continuing. "I— it's difficult for me. I can't do all this without any feelings attached and I don't want to go any further just to get hurt again. So we should stay entirely professional, nothing more." Merlin's long stiffened heart gave a sudden jolt.

"So you want to stop this between us? Seriously?" Merlin slowly moved towards Ervin and placed his one hand on his thigh. Kneeling before him, he unzipped his pants. Ervin took a long shuddering breath and closed his eyes.

This was the first time in forever when Merlin had wanted to actually please someone rather than be pleased himself. "Merlin don't. I can't." Ervin succked in a breath.

"Don't tell me you don't want this. I can see you." Merlin said and uncooked his pant buttons before pulling them down with a sudden jerk, pushing Ervin's hips up from the chair. A sudden realization hit Ervin and he shot up from his seat. Merlin starred as he pulled up his pants and buttoned them up with shaky hands. "No. Please. Don't make me regret coming here."

"Do you not want this Ervin? Look at me and say you don't." Merlin said standing up. Ervin looked square into his eyes and for a bare second he thought he felt something, something other than lust. He felt a gentle wave of warmth that knocked down his sense of beguiling vampiric charm for a second or two.

"I don't want this Merlin. I don't want a relationship that's not even a relationship, just bodily pleasure."

"What are you even talking about? We have just met. Do you want me to have your babies or what?" Merlin attempted for a calmer phrase but it came out as aggressive as it can be. Ervin backed away immediately as his chest rose and fell rapidly.

"You won't understand. You will never."

"No I will not unless you tell me what you really want. You are such a confused man."

"I am not confused. I know what I don't want. I don't want a life like my father's. For as long as I lived with him, he brought a new woman home every week and there were new voices coming from his room every time I would pass by. When there were no women, there was him and his rage and—" Ervin paused mid-sentence and took a deep breath. "I don't want to be my father, Merlin."

"Okay I hear you. Let's keep it platonic and professional." Despite all that Merlin wanted to say, this  is what he said. He turned away as if trying to hide something that wasn't even there.

"I am sorry Merlin. I am too broken for you." Ervin said. After he was gone, Merlin couldn't do anything, it was morning outside, he couldn't even go out for a quick mess with willing humans. But, there was one thing he could do, call someone. So he called Leonard. Leonard was his best friend and of course he wasn't going to be there to satisfy his bodily needs but he didn't want to do that at the moment. He wanted to talk. For a long time, he wanted to talk about himself and that's what he did.

"So, wait a minute. You like this guy but he doesn't like you back. Am I right?" Leonard asked after hearing all the venting from Merlin.

"I don't know humans are bloody confusing."

"We were humans once."

"Not such dumb ones."

"I won't argue with that. So, what you want to do. Go out tonight? Party or fresh blood hunting. " Asked Leonard and he wasn't wrong. This is exactly what he would have wanted after being dumped by someone who he wasn't even in a relationship with but  this time, for whatever reason, it was all very different.

"Can you get Ervin's old address. Address of his father's house. You don't have to come but I want to meet him. Just see what he is like."

"Sure I can but I am going with you. I can't have you kill your boyfriend's father and mess up your relationship before it even begins."

"He is not my boyfriend and I am not killing his father." Merlin said firmly focusing on 'not' in either phrase.

"Okay buddy, I believe you." Leonard laughed on the other side of the line.