Chapter 5

Today, I started my day by going to my garden. I had gotten my father to prepare an area so I can build my garden like how mother built hers. While taking care of mothers garden during the winter, I started to enjoy gardening even more but now for my own comfort and pleasure. Though the only work I could do in the garden was water the plants and help the gardeners trim the plants once in awhile but once I'm older, I'll start planting flowers on my own. Father had gotten architectures to come build a small garden house where I could make bouquets and also a medium sized garden gazebo where I could enjoy some tea with my family and friends…though I don't have any friends but I got Isaiah to hangout with. I wouldn't lie but the garden looks so depressing with no flowers or any type of plant but since spring is coming now, I can start preparing seeds of flowers which I want to grow. There were some full grown plants that were going to be delivered to the Imperial Palace even though I wanted to start fresh with my garden but father was too adamant so I eventually gave in. I'm glad I gave in because my garden looks so depressing, it's making me feel sad.

"Lily, do you know when the plants are going to arrive?" I asked my personal maid with desperation.

"My lady, it'll arrive by mid afternoon and I'm sure the gardeners will start planting them right away." She informed me with a smile on her face. Lily has been accompanying almost everywhere, though I do feel bad about it sometimes but I'm extremely grateful to have her in my life. I'm certainly more closed off after the incident but along with my brother and father, she has been patient with me has well. I have changed a great amount in just a short amount of time and most likely will continue to change as I get older…after all, the little girl who was happy, outgoing and cheerful died the day of the incident. But like the Head Priest always reminds me…"Happiness is in everything. Even when you have changed so much, you can find happiness in things around you." I guess it's true since the hobbies I adapted to and the people around me still make me happy but I'm turning into a totally different person. Hopefully my younger self is somewhere still inside me.

Me and Lily had started our morning walk after looking through my garden. While walking, I felt the need to get her opinion on me training even though I knew the type of reaction and answer I'll receive from her.

"Uhm…lily what do you think about me training as a knight?" I looked up at her after asking the question and it seemed like she had stopped processing. She stopped walking and had a shocked look on her face. I wasn't surprised because how can a princess train to be a knight, it would be disgraceful. No women in the history of the royal family has ever been a knight or trained to fight since their only job is to help rule the empire and do those feminine stuff—hold tea parties, gossip with the other noble ladies while being respectful and courteous, and look after the Princess or Prince. I just hate thinking about that! I hate tea parties and gossiping; moreover I can't go in crowded places or be around so many people. It's very draining.

The reason why I even want to train as a knight is so I can be able to protect myself and my loved ones in the future. I truly want my father and everyone else to understand that—to think beyond the stereotype on princesses and to let me be my own person. If not, I'll take things in my own hands after all it is my life, but I know it's not just my life…my life is solely for my empire. I was born to live and dedicate my life to the people of this empire and this is where I'm meant with dilemma.

I could clearly tell that I was not going to get an answer from her so I continued talking. "I know no lady from the royal family has been a knight but I can be the first one to bring a change and it's not like I will go to the war; I will simply just train and gain skills which can help me protect myself."

"But…My lady, that's why you have knights guarding you so you won't need to learn how to fight." She anxiously replied back to me which made me feel somewhat guilty.

"And what about when they aren't able to protect?…Who'll protect me then?" With that remark, I had caught her off guard and she was lost in her thoughts.

"I…don't know how to answer you, My lady."

"Lets just continue with our walk!" I smiled at her as we both started walking again but Lily was clearly lost in her thoughts with my sudden question. Throughout the walk, I continued to admire the flowers that we came across and stopping to look at them a few times. By the end of the walk, I had a lot going on in my head and the same was happening for Lily.

"Thank you for accompanying me on the walk! I'm going to go be with Tulip and read my book." I informed her.

"No problem, My lady! I'll inform you when lunch is prepared." We separate from the garden and I make my way towards my garden. Right next to my garden was Tulips house so I went there to find Tulip napping. I slowly approach so I don't wake him up and I squat down completely while fixing my dress. I silently watch Tulip laying in his small bed, peacefully sleeping. Looking like the cutest dog ever! Even though I wanted to keep watching him sleep but I go ahead and pick him up slowly which immediately makes him open his eyes but when he sees me, he relaxes into my arms. I walk over to the garden house and make myself comfortable on the chair with Tulip in my lap while I pick up the history book which I need to study. Tulip snuggles in closer to me, eventually falling asleep as I continue reading. I think it had been few hours when suddenly Lily arrives to the garden house.

"My lady, may I come in?"

"Ah yes."

"I came to inform that lunch is ready and Isaiah is waiting for you to join him for lunch." She informed me with a smile on her face. I put my book down on the table, proceeding to get up which made Tulip wake up. I put him down on the ground and fix my dress.

"Ok!" I reply back with a smile and walk up to her while Tulip followed behind me. "What's for lunch?" I asked her while we were walking to the smaller dining hall near the garden.

"Sandwiches which my lady and the Prince enjoy with some macarons for dessert and tea."

"I can't wait! Is Isaiah already there?" I asked as I start walking faster since I was very hungry and lunch would be great right now.

"Ah I think the Prince should be appearing around the same time as us."

"Okkk!" I was honestly very exciting to share a meal with Isaiah. It had been awhile since we both had time to have lunch together. My studies had advanced which shifted most of my schedule and for Isaiah, he still had a lot to catch up with until he would get even close to where I am. I loved to read and study random topics which is a reason why I'm ahead of Isaiah. Isaiah isn't the type to have his head buried in books, he loves to explore the outer world. I wonder what type of hobbies he'll get into when he's around my age but for now, he just follows me around whenever he's done with his classes which last technically the whole day.

Me and Lily has arrived at the dining hall and I sat down on the chair that was the opposite to the window which gave a perfect view of the garden. On the circular dining table, the food was beautifully laid out—the sandwiches were cut in triangles, the macarons were placed on a clear flower 3 tier dessert tray and lastly a matching tea pot and tea cups were displayed. After a few minutes, I see Isaiah come inside. It seemed as if he had ran over here.

"Oh my! Why are you breathing so heavily? Did you run over here?" I worriedly asked as I ran over to him while he was catching his breath.

"I was- I was trying to get here as...quickly as I can!" He managed to make out a sentence.

"But why??" I asked as he finally caught his breath while making our way towards our chairs.

"Because I'm so excited to have lunch with you after a long time! I barely get time to hangout with you because of my classes. Why do my classes end so late whereas yours end quickly?" Ah he's so cute when complaining like this.

"I just learn quickly but also I read a lot so I was able to advance quickly. But don't worry, you're really smart and have already learnt so much in such a short time!" He looked so happy as I praised him. "Lets start eating. I'm hungry!" To that confession, we begin feasting on our lunch. We don't talk much instead eating in peace and enjoying each others presence. After finishing up lunch, Isaiah left for his etiquette class and I started to make my way towards fathers study room.

I walked through the hall, hoping that I don't come in contact with as many knights and to my lucky there were only 3 knights guarding around the study room. I was very nervous while approaching fathers study room…all these thoughts jumping from one side of my brain to the other side. I don't know how father will even react to my request even though I know it won't be a positive reaction. I stood in front of the door while pondering about if I should knock or not. I can sense the knights stealing glances at me, probably wondering why I decided to show up to my fathers study room in the middle of the day. This is quite nerve-wrecking but I pull some courage out of me and proceed to knock on the door to which father immediately responds to.

"Who is it?" Father asked with a monotone.

"It's Irene, Father."

"Ah come in, my dear!" There was a change in my fathers tone, suddenly it was filled with joy. "What brings you here, Irene?" The curiosity evident on my fathers face and I was starting to become an anxious mess.

"Uhm…well…you see…" I started to stutter as I sat on the chair on the opposite of his desk which had many documents scattered and some other piles of paperwork.

"Take a minute to gather your thoughts and then tell me." Now father was actually curious about why I showed up when I'm usually hidden away in the garden or the library. I take a few seconds to get the courage as I started to shake a little but with all seriousness and courage, I speak out.

"Father, I want to train as a knight!"