Going crazy

It's becoming very hard for me to stay away from Ashley and keep my mind sane.

Whenever the guys talk about her, I feel pity on myself for I can't be with her and they get to stay with her the whole day and night at least once a week.

And me ?

I haven't seen her face for months now !

After I got Lauren admitted in the hospital after the glass incidence, I haven't seen her face nor haven't heard her voice and that's driving me crazy !

I need to see her.

I get to know what's happening in her life through the guys, but I need to know that from her !

I too want to spend time with her.

I too want to be with her.

I too want to protect her.

But my ego won't let me do that !

Many times I went to her apartment area and return just because of my ego !

I badly need to meet her.

At least see her once.

I need to do something.

But what ?

Derek will get any superb idea, but I can't tell him the situation.

Lauren will tell this to everyone. Jules is just like me, he won't tell anyone but he couldn't even give me any idea !

Lastly, Dominic !

He already knows I have a soft corner for her.

I never stopped asking him about her when she was in the hospital.

I asked Dominic every single day about her well-being.

And he used to calm me down by saying...

' Don't worry Cole, she'll be alright.

She is fine.

She is gonna make it.

Stop worrying about her ! '

I think he knows that, I want to meet her.

Many times he have asked me to go with him at her place for sometime and then leave if I want to.

But...

My ego !

But I need to see her badly or else I am really gonna go crazy !

I must find some idea.

Something like, I can't go there but she could come here.

So, I should find a way to get her live here.

In that way, she would be always infront of me and my ego too won't get hurt.

But, why would she leave her Mom's place and come live here ?

Getting her here is a very big task, I must focus on meeting her first.

How could I achieve that ?

Let's think about it.