Guilt

Everyday is bringing something new with it in my life since I met my men !

They all are different and so is their behaviour in the bed.

What we did last night was very different and new for me.

It was very weird when, he told me that he wants to claim my virginity !

Though, he doesn't know I've slept with Jules and Dominic; but he knows Michael raped me many times.

So how could I be a virgin ?

I didn't know what was he talking about.

But when, he pressed his fingertips against my ass, I got it.

He loves anal more than the conventional sex. And after experiencing it last night, I won't say I too love it more than conventional sex, but yes I'd definitely like to do it again !

Today again everyone is looking at me suspiciously.

I didn't even slept for late today !

I think they KNOW what's going on with me.

But no one is saying anything to me about it.

Why would they know it and yet won't have any problem being in my bed and inside me ?

Let it be.

I won't think about it too much.

But does this behaviour makes me a WHORE ? Fucking everyone ?

I am just not getting paid for it !

But I love them !

I am not doing it because I am getting something from them !

They didn't asked me to sleep with them if, I want my work to be done !

And the way they treat me and behave with me and get jealous when, they see me with someone else, I am sure they have at least liking for me !

Am I betraying them ?

Sleeping with someone today and the next time with the other without letting them know about it ?

But what do I do ?

I love them and their touch makes me forget every single fucking think in this world !

When they touch me, I forget if someone else had touched me like this.

The thought of comparing the one with other doesn't even cross my mind.

I just love their company !

And by company, I don't mean only in the bed ! Yeah, that is amazing; but every single moment spent with them is marvelous !

For few days I didn't do anything stupid with th in the bed for I felt guilty for betraying the others.

I only kissed them and went to sleep.

I started feeling guilty for doing this and letting them down every time after arousing them and then denying them the pleasure.

So, I used to make excuses to sleep early and not doing anything.

But I couldn't resist the urge to kiss the man so close to me.