21. Chapter 19:How good is a timely word

Ch 19: How good is a timely word!*

Happily, Kitty led her older sister toward the room the younger girls shared. The yellow walls seemed to hold the sunlight, glowing with liveliness like the ones who lived within. Bits of fabric and trim lay scattered about, like children's playthings left in disarray.

"Oh my!" Lizzy exclaimed at the disorder.

"I have been so occupied sewing, I have quite forgotten to tidy up!" Kitty laughed.

"I can see that! Does Lydia not mind this?" Carefully she moved a pile of garments from a chair, mindful of the pins stuck throughout.

"As long as I continue to fix her things, she seems to ignore it easily enough."

Something in Kitty's tone caused Lizzy to look up, catching a brief look of disdain in her younger sister's eye. Perhaps Kitty is not nearly so pleased with Lyddie as we had all believed. How little I have attended them. "So, let me help you dress; I wish to see this amazing gown on you."

Blushing prettily, Kitty stared wide-eyed at her sister. She means it, she is truly interested. Turning her back, she accepted the help with the many small buttons down her back. Quickly she removed her morning dress and sorted through another pile of garments to locate the much discussed blue gown. "Here it is!" She held it up for inspection.

"No, no! I must see it on you!" Lizzy insisted, helping Kitty into the gown. "Let me look now."

Stepping back, Kitty modeled the garment. "I used the pattern from the magazine to alter the sleeves—these are the latest fashion now. I changed the shape of the neckline and added the lace here and here. Then I trimmed the skirt…."

"I see," Lizzy said softly, gazing at her sister's work with genuine appreciation. "Turn around. Let me see the back. Oh, I do so like how you carried the trim all the way over! That was very clever."

"So you like it?" Kitty bit her lip hopefully.

"More than just like it, Kitty, you have done a brilliant job. Truly, I am impressed. I know you used a pattern, but to take that and make it work on a dress already made is superior workmanship. You have a fine eye and excellent taste. And I am so embarrassed to have never seen it before.

Kitty glowed with the praise. Clapping her small hands, she twirled like a little girl. "I am so happy!"

Lizzy blushed, a little uncomfortable. I have shamefully neglected her. I had no idea she was so talented. I have always thought myself so superior in understanding that I have rarely even bothered to converse with her. Mary would rightfully scold me for such pride. Another sister I have rarely spoken to that it seems I have much to learn from.

"Here, look. I am trimming out this old bonnet to match the dress." She pressed a half-done piece into her older sister's hands. "I had this fabric from the sleeves that I can use here on the crown…"

"Oh, I see what you want to do! How very clever. I would not have thought of that, but it is quite lovely; and such a smart way to use what you already have. Lydia must be very pleased with what you are doing with her gowns. She takes such delight in new and pretty things."

Kitty deflated slightly. "She seems happy enough to have new looking gowns. She likes the attention she receives in them." Her eyes dropped to the floor.

Once again, Lizzy found herself at a loss for words. Lydia is quick to take advantage of Kitty's talents when it suits her, but the look on Kitty's face suggests that Lyddie is less than happy to share center stage with her. She reached over to squeeze her sister's hand.

Kitty lifted her head to look at her with a sad smile.

"It looks like you have started many projects," Lizzy laughed softly, smiling, as she pointed to the many piles strewn about them. "Show me what you are planning to do."

Regaining her energy, the younger girl began digging through a pile to retrieve a simple white gown. "I was hoping to have this one done for the Assembly in town next month." She held it out for her sister to see.

Elizabeth traced a delicately embroidered pattern on the skirt. "This is lovely! Did you design this pattern yourself?" Kitty nodded. "Do you plan to do the entire skirt in this floral scroll?"

"I had thought to. I like the subtly of the white on white, but perhaps a few in silver or gold might be…"

"That would be just the thing! Just a few of them though. Perhaps a touch of the same along the bodice, here…"

"Oh yes! That is perfect! And add some pleated ribbon just below…" Kitty held the ribbon up to the gown.

"That's a wonderful idea! I would not have thought…"

"Thank you, Lizzy!" Spontaneously Kitty threw her arms around her sister. "Lydia's tastes are not nearly so refined as yours. I find I am constantly arguing with her."

Feeling a little awkward, Elizabeth returned her sister's embrace. "Once you have finished your dress, I would be pleased to see what you think might be done with the dress I had planned for the assembly."

"You would allow me to alter yours! You would wear a dress I have designed for you?" She pulled away to search Lizzy's face for traces of insincerity.

"Your work is beautiful, Kitty. I would be very proud to wear something you have made."

Tears glistened in Kitty's eyes as she hugged her sister once more.

"I should let you get to work while you have the room to yourself. Hill just gave me a letter, and I would very much like to read it now, if you do not mind."

"Of course not. Thank you so much for looking at what we have done. I'm anxious to show it to you again when I have finished." Kitty gently fingered the soft white fabric.

"I look forward to seeing it." Smiling genuinely, Lizzy rose and left Kitty's room.

Finally in her own quiet chambers once again, Lizzy curled up in the window seat to read her aunt's letter at last. I have so looked forward to your wisdom, Aunt Gardiner.

The paper crinkled, a warm comforting sound, as she unfolded and smoothed the missive. Gently she traced the greeting with her finger tips, the sound of her aunt's gentle voice came through the inked letters.

My dearest Lizzy,

I must confess to you I have read your letter now three times and am no more certain where to begin than I was upon my first perusal. Your poor uncle will surely go quite distracted, as I have been locked in my study these three hours already! Certainly you know I write this only in jest, yet I fear it may be true by the time I am finished. The questions you ask of me have no simple, easy answers, I fear.

I cannot imagine how it must have felt to have heard Mr. Carver's harsh words! I am so sorry I could not be there with you. I think there are few things more difficult to hear than your family the subject of such criticism. You ask if his words could have anything of truth in them. But since later in your letter you write of your discussion with Charlotte regarding her younger sister, I believe you have already drawn your own conclusions in that regard.

While it is difficult, I know, you must be careful not to judge the Carvers too quickly. He is unsure of his place in society, and is anxious to protect his family the best he can. Having no children of his own, he has little experience in curbing the exuberance of young ladies. So I fear he is resorting to the only thing he knows. While I understand it is painful to you, we must assume he is acting with good intentions, hoping to do the best he can for his family. It does not change anything, I know, but perhaps it can make forgiveness easier to find.

All of those things are easy to say, but then you ask me what is there to be done. That is a much more difficult issue. I do not believe there is a single thing to be done, and I believe there are several important points to consider. The first, and perhaps most important, is this, you must know what is your responsibility and what is not. It is not your task to save your family – that is the responsibility of your father and mother. Do not usurp that role. Do not take that burden on yourself – that is too much, even for you, my dearest niece. We all know how capable you are, dear Lizzy. Indeed, I cannot think of a single thing you have attempted to do that you did not succeed in doing, except perhaps your needlework. But there are some burdens that are not for you to carry.

Remember, your sisters are your sisters, not your daughters. It is good and right and proper for you to teach and encourage them as a sister, but do not try to be their mother. It will only cause them to resent you. Let your sisters share in this burden, for it is theirs to carry as well. Do not overlook the resource the Good Lord has given you in them. I dare say you will find them much more capable than they are often given credit for if they are given a chance.

Lizzy laid down the letter and sighed deeply, allowing her head to fall back against the wall. You are so right, Aunt, so very very right. I have allowed my father's slights to my sisters to shape my opinions of them. I have judged Kitty and Mary far too harshly, and seen little of worth there. And Jane! How I have underestimated her strength! What a joke to have thought my reasoning so superior! Sighing, she shook her head. How many times have I been taught that pride doth go before a fall? Yet it seems that I am not immune. Drawing a deep breath, she returned to her letter.

The curate at the church I attended as a girl was fond of telling us that the Good Book told us to pray to God for wisdom should we be in need of it. But if we did that, then we needed to prepare to listen to the voice that God would send to deliver it to us. For often, the Good Lord, in His wisdom, will choose to speak to us in voices that we might not otherwise be prepared to hear. So it might be with you, my dear. I counsel you to seek the Lord's wisdom, and I will pray for you as well. But be ready to listen to those He might send to you to give you that wisdom. I have found that it seems our Lord has a sense of humor when it comes to such things. Perhaps it is sacrilegious to say such a thing, but I do believe it is so.

It does seem ironic how often in the last few days I have thought back to consider Mary's words when just last week I would have dismissed them without a second thought. I wonder how often I have walked away from the answers that I have needed because I did not wish to listen to the one speaking them to me. At this rate, I shall be asking Lydia for advice tomorrow! She rolled her eyes at the thought.

You asked me if you should tell your mother and father about what was said to you. By now, I am sure you will have already discovered that your mother already has heard for herself about the slight to your family. Such things only stay quiet in homes where the servants are very well managed, and I cannot imagine that such is the case at Netherfield right now. So the question now is not whether or not to tell her, but what to do now that she knows. If I am wrong, my dear, please tell me, but I do fear that I am quite correct.

If your mother has indeed received the news, then I worry that she might enter into a dark melancholia that may last for quite some time. If so, you girls will have to step up and act as mistress in her stead until she is well once again. This could be a very good thing for all of you, in truth. I have full confidence in your abilities and know that you will handle the task admirably if you involve your sisters. In doing so, you will not only prove your mother's deepest fears wrong, you will also show the neighborhood the worth of the Bennet girls.

You may wonder why I fear this response from your mother. There was a time long ago, when you were very small, when your mother received a similar shock, and it sent her above stairs for many months. She could not recover from the distress.

You see, when she married your father, most thought all the advantage of the match was on her side. Your father faced no small amount of criticism choosing to marry a tradesman's daughter. Few thought her capable of being mistress of an estate, and even fewer still thought her accomplished enough to guide the daughters of a gentleman. Few understood that her liveliness and inborn understanding of people and how to put them at ease was exactly what your father's reticent nature needed.

There were a couple, that you do not remember, I am sure, who were most critical of her. One dreadful evening, she was told that she would fail in raising you girls and that you would all end up starving in the hedgerows because no man of quality would ever have any of you. Her confidence was broken, and I fear she has never fully recovered. I am certain that this latest shock will put her in mind of the previous one, and she will react similarly.

But Lizzy, my dear, I believe she has done much better than even you realize she has. You will all rise to this challenge and prove yourselves admirably. If there is anything I can do to help, you know I am always available to you.

As for your father, I am certain if your mother knows anything, she has told him as well. He may not have said anything to you, but I am sure he is aware. What he will do with that information, I do not know. Your father has always believed that you girls have been given good principles and will do what is right when you are given the choice. He has never wished to control any of you as his father did him. I know right now you may feel he has done too little. He hates confrontations and often retreats from them, you know.

But he loves you all very dearly, regardless of his faults, and wants the best for you. Be patient with him, dear, for one does not learn how to be a parent from books. You never knew your Bennet grandparents. I will not speak ill of the dead, but I will say they did not give him a picture of how to do that task well. I must believe he is doing the best that he knows how, even if he is not perfect.

As difficult as it seems right now, I do believe that all things will work together for good. It may not seem today, but someday you shall look back at these difficult days and be grateful for all that has happened. Please do not hear this as idle encouragement. It is a truth that I have found over and over, I have gained much more during the difficult times than I ever realized in the midst of them.

I look forward to your next letter, but for now, I must go, for your uncle's sake!

Your loving aunt, MG

How I wish you were not so far away! I know no one who speaks such good sense as you do! Lizzy carefully refolded her letter and placed it in her writing desk.

That evening, after a dinner at which Mrs. Bennet did not appear, Elizabeth's father requested her presence in his study. Keeping her aunt's letter in mind, she followed him back to the bookroom that held so many pleasant childhood memories for her. She watched as he sat heavily in his large overstuffed chair, a weight clearly upon his shoulders.

"What troubles you, Papa?" Lizzy sat down beside him, on the large footstool at his knee.

"Oh my dear Lizzy, you, of all your sisters, always know when I am burdened. I am glad you are here, child." He chewed his lip a moment, staring at the ceiling as if wondering what to say. "You have seen your mother this morning, and I imagine you have put together that she is very unwell."

"Yes, sir. She has told me of the shock she received in town, and I could see how affected she was. I do not expect that she will be well again anytime soon." She pressed lips together, almost having betrayed Hill's confidence.

"Yes, I drew that same conclusion as well. There was a time in the past when she had such an experience, and it took her months to recover." Lizzy silently nodded. "I fear I need to ask something of you and Jane."

I am sure Aunt Gardiner was right! "We are only too happy to help, Papa. What can we do?"

He sighed deeply and patted her hand. "Your mother has never been confident about being mistress of my estate. She understands people and entertaining and the social side of life, things I have no skill in. However, she has little head for management or numbers. When I tried to ask such things of her in the past, it only caused her deep distress. So I have seen to it that much of the management is done by Hill or myself, and she does not have to face it. Do not criticize me for this, child. I have tried other ways, and they were not successful."

Quietly she bit her lip and nodded for him to continue.

"I do not wish for her to find this out, as it would only add to her dismay and impede whatever recovery has occurred. The timing is very bad."

"Timing of what, Papa?" She shifted uneasily on the stool.

Wearily, he looked at her, his blue eyes suddenly seeming very old and tired. "I rarely have to travel out for business, but find right now, I must. Your Uncle Phillips and I must make a trip into Kent very soon, and I fear we will be gone at least a month. I have tried to postpone the trip, but I cannot." He raked his hand roughly through his hair. "I have no steward, and Hill cannot manage everything on her own. I had thought to have one of your uncle's clerks in to help, but that has fallen through as well. So now I must turn to you girls. I must ask you and Jane, as the eldest and most sensible of my children, to take on the necessary tasks in my absence.

"The spring planting is finished, so there should be little concern over the farm. But I will need help with the correspondence, sorting what should be sent on to me and what can wait. Those things I do in your mother's stead also need to be managed. Hill will need to be supervised as will your sisters…"

Lizzy turned to him, a question clearly on her lips.

"Yes, child. I also know about the Carvers. I shudder to think how you heard of his slight, probably from the man himself if I know him. I know you do not approve of the way I have handled Lydia, and I imagine you wish to ask what you should do with her." A shaggy brow rose high.

"Something like that, sir." Lizzy nodded.

"She is your mother's daughter, Lizzy, as you are mine. Your mother did well enough for herself, so I trust that your sister shall as well." He laughed self-deprecatingly. "She has, today, received an invitation from Mrs. Forster to travel to Brighton with them. Given all that is going on right now, I have given her my permission. I think it would be best not to put you in conflict with her. I fear she would be nearly impossible for you to live with if I deny her the trip."

"But do you think it wise?" Her brows knit in concern.

"Do not make yourself uneasy, my love. Wherever you and Jane are known, you must be respected and valued; and you will not appear to less advantage for having a couple of - or I may say, three - very silly sisters. We shall have no peace at Longbourn if Lydia does not go to Brighton. Let her go then. Colonel Forster is a sensible man, and will keep her out of any real mischief; and she is luckily too poor to be an object of prey to anybody." He sighed enigmatically. "At Brighton she will be of less importance, even as a common flirt, than she has been here. The officers will find women better worth their notice. Let us hope, therefore, that her being there may teach her her own insignificance. At any rate, she cannot grow many degrees worse without authorizing us to lock her up for the rest of her life.''

They shared a sad little laugh. "Oh Papa!"

"I am sorry to put this burden on you, Lizzy." He squeezed her hand warmly.

"I am glad to help, Papa. I find I have grown bored in my idleness recently."

"That is my Elizabeth. You always know what to say to me." He patted her cheek. "Go then, my dear. I need some time to gather my thoughts. Come join me with your sister in the morning after breakfast, and I will begin to acquaint you with what you shall need in my absence."

*PR 15:23