11. Wait and See
Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. I time jumped just a little...nothing too drastic. Hope that you guys like it...
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Erin exhaled as she woke from her nap. She opened her eyes and turned her head expecting to see Jay, instead she was met with the gaze of Hank Voight.
"Hey" Erin said softly. Rubbing her eyes as she looked at him.
"How are you feeling?" Voight asked standing up from his chair and moving to sit on the edge of Erin's bed.
"I'm ok. I'd like to go home" Erin said looking up at Voight.
Hank nodded and looked down at her "Well, first things first"
Hank leaned down over Erin and gently pulled her into his arms as he embraced her. "You scared the hell out of me, kid" he whispered in her ear.
Erin's brow narrowed as she felt Hank Voight hug her. "I'm ok"
Voight nodded and pulled back and gently removed his arms from around Erin. "Well, I can tell you now that you're on leave. I don't want you coming back to the precinct until you're ready"
"I'm fine. I don't need time off" Erin assured as she placed her hands down on the hospital bed and tried pushing herself up.
She was met by instant pain radiating over her entire body. She winced and tried to force a smile as she tried to adjust her position in the bed.
"Lindsay, you're taking time off. It's not a suggestion" Hank insisted. "And let me help you"
He stood up and used the remote to adjust Erin's bed to tilt up more and he wrapped his arm around her so she could use him as leverage to adjust herself.
Erin sighed thankfully that she was able to find some form of a comfortable spot in her hospital bed. "Thanks"
Voight nodded and he moved to the chair beside her head.
"How pissed are you that we screwed up the job?" Erin was almost afraid of the answer she was about to receive.
"You didn't screw up. If anyone screwed up, it was Halstead for not working harder to protect you" Voight folded his arms over him and leaned back in his chair.
Erin shook her head. "It wasn't Jay's fault. I wasn't going to make him go down and get a water with me. I can do that alone"
"And look where it got you, Erin. This is what I'm talking about when I said I didn't want Halstead throwing pebbles at your window. This is the kind of stuff that happens when you get distracted" Voight kept his voice low but stern as he spoke to Erin.
"This wasn't anybody's fault. If you were so worried about me going back to the room alone, then why aren't you mad at Olinsky for not walking me back to my room?" Erin shook her head and looked away from Voight.
"Because, Halstead is your partner. It's his job to protect you" Voight rubbed his tired eyes and looked at Erin.
"It was an accident. I'm fine" Erin assured
"You're not fine, Erin. Do you know what it was like coming in and seeing your partner covered in blood and coming in here and seeing you hooked up to machines? No. You don't. So don't sit there and say that you're fine. Don't play the "I'm fine" card that you've been playing since you were a kid" Voight shook his head and took a breath to keep his temper in check.
"What happened to Lane?" Erin asked trying to change the subject off of Jay.
"He's dead" Voight said simply.
"How?" Erin asked
"He crossed the wrong person when he was in police custody" Voight rubbed the back of his neck. Erin didn't need to know the details of what happened. All that mattered was that she got better.
"Is that how Jay's nose got broken?" Erin asked
"No. I punched him" Voight said
"What?" Erin shook her head and covered her face with her IV free hand. "Why?"
"Because I know" Voight said simply.
"Know what?" Erin asked.
She really didn't need to ask. She had a feeling that she knew exactly what Hank was talking about.
"I know about you and Halstead" Hank said "How long, Erin?"
Erin felt her heart drop to her stomach and she uncovered her face and looked at Voight.
"It just happened" Erin explained as she looked at the man next to her. "Who told you? Olinsky? Dawson?"
"I heard it straight from the horse's mouth" Voight said.
From the look he saw on Erin's face he knew she wanted to know more. "I walked in on Halstead professing his love"
A smile formed on Erin's lips as she looked at Voight. She'd love to have known what Jay said. Seeing him so emotional when she had woken up was different. She'd seen her partner do a lot of things, but it was the first time she'd ever seen him cry in front of her. "Where is Jay?"
Voight sighed and rolled his eyes. "He's at his hotel. Erin, I'm sorry, but I don't approve of this. I think it's a mistake that you two are making. And I'm going to use your medical leave to reassign Halstead with a new partner"
Erin laid back against the pillows and sighed. Suddenly she missed her medicine induced coma.
5 Weeks Later
"You really need to be taking it easy. Voight's not even going to let you upstairs" Jay tried to reason with Erin as he watched her make her way around her apartment.
"For the last time, I'm fine. It was six weeks ago. I need to do something. I'm going crazy in this apartment. I appreciate the concern, but I haven't had a single moment to myself since I have gotten out of the hospital. If Voight isn't here spending the night, then Burgess is here, when she's not here, you're here" Erin placed her hands down on her counter and sighed.
"You don't like when I spend the night?" Jay asked folding his arms over his chest and looking at his girlfriend.
"Not when you're leaning over me at 3 am asking "Erin, you asleep? Erin you need anything? Erin can I have this last peanut butter cup?" Erin finished packing her up her bag and kept her back to Jay.
"Pretty sure you should thank me for eating that peanut butter cup, it was shaped like a Christmas Tree" Jay said walking over to her.
"What's your point?" Erin asked running a hand through her hair.
"Nothing, except the fact that it's April" Jay smiled and walked the rest of the way over to Erin and wrapped his arms around her and he ran them over her flat stomach as he rested his chin on her shoulder.
"You're not funny" Erin pouted and she relaxed back into him.
"Not even a little?" Jay asked moving his chin to place a kiss on Erin's shoulder.
"No" Erin looked out the window at the park below her apartment. She smiled as she watched all of the kids running around and playing.
Jay moved one of his hands up and moved Erin's hair off of her neck and placed a kiss where her shoulder and neck met. "Well, maybe Friday night after the policeman's ball I can show you just how funny I can be"
"Pretty sure my doctor said six weeks with no physical activity. Kinda think that means sex..." Erin turned her head and kissed Jay's temple before looking back at the window.
"Um, pretty sure that I have a running count of how long six weeks is to the day. And I know that it ends Saturday" Jay whispered into Erin's ear.
Erin turned in Jay's arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. "See, that's Saturday. The Policeman's Ball is on Friday. That's a whole 24 hours difference"
Jay raised his eyebrows and tightened his arms around Erin's waist pulling her closer to him so that they were chest to chest. "So hardball is your game?"
Erin tilted her head to the side and ran rubbed her hand down Jay's neck. "Don't you think you should know that by now?"
Jay nodded and furrowed his brow "Well, If hardball's what you want to play..." Jay leaned down so his lips were just about to brush hers "Game on" and he pulled away before he kissed her.
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Erin walked into the police station with Jay following behind her. The first person she saw was Platt standing at the desk on the phone.
"I really don't care if you have to go downtown. You go and you bring his fat ass back here" Platt said into the phone.
Jay and Erin shared a look before walking over to the desk where Platt was hanging up the phone.
"Bringing in a crook?" Jay asked as Trudy looked at him and Erin.
"No, Friendship Palace thinks they're going to get away without giving me my duck sauce for my egg rolls? I don't think so. Lou Chin can bring his ass back here and bring it to me" Platt said looking at Jay.
"Lou Chin? Platt, he's like 70. Give him a break" Jay said referring to the life long delivery man from Friendship Palace the local Chinese restaurant a few blocks away.
"What's your point?" Platt asked.
"I don't know. I'm just saying there's a ton of that duck sauce in the fridge in the break room upstairs" Jay explained looking across the desk at Platt.
"You think I want to eat that? God only knows what you guys do in that break room. All I need is to get sick, who'd watch the desk Halstead? If I got sick and someone just walks off the street that's on you Halstead, that's on you" Platt looked away from Jay and over at Erin.
"How are you feeling?" Platt asked.
"I'm feeling better. Thanks" Erin answered as Platt walked from around the back of the desk and over to Erin.
"It's good to see you" Platt said moving back and forth in her spot before she finally moved all the way forward and pulled Erin into a hug.
Erin laughed awkwardly as she returned Platt's hug.
"You really gave everyone a scare" Platt said still holding onto Erin's form.
"I heard" Erin said looking back and side to side as she patted Trudy Platt's back.
"It's real good seeing you. Real good" Platt said as she continued to embrace Erin.
"Thanks" Erin said ready for Platt to let go of her at anytime.
Jay bit back a smile as he watched Erin and Platt together. He enjoyed the scene for a few more seconds before he stepped forward. "Ok, we'll we're going to head upstairs"
Platt pulled away and held onto Erin's shoulders and sighed. "Take care of yourself"
"I will" Erin assured looking away from Platt's gaze.
"Ok" Platt said exhaling. She let go of Erin's shoulders and watched as she and Jay turned to walk up the steps to the main office.
"Ok..." Platt said again as she straightened her tie when Erin and Jay were out of sight. She turned and saw Roman and Burgess walking in the front doors.
"Where the hell have you two been?"
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Jay and Erin walked up to the main office just as Voight was wrapping up a briefing on a case that had just wrapped.
"I thought we had an agreement, Lindsay" Voight said as he looked at Erin.
"We do. I'm not coming to work. I just needed to get out of the house" Erin explained. She felt uneasy with everyone's gaze on her and she side stepped closer to Jay.
Jay felt Erin's unease and he wrapped an arm around her in an effort to support her.
"She just wanted to show everyone how well she's doing. How excited she is for the policeman's ball tomorrow night" Jay said giving a quick glance at Erin before looking at everyone else.
"It's good to see you, Erin" Atwater said getting up from his seat and walking over to Erin and giving her a hug.
"Thanks" Erin said hugging him back.
Everyone followed Atwater's lead and went up and greeted Erin. Jay stepped out of the way and over to his desk. He looked at some paper work and then up at Voight who motioned for Jay to come in his office. Jay took a quick glance at Erin who was talking to Olinsky and he quickly walked into Voight's office and shut the door behind him.
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"How's she doing?" Voight asked taking a seat at his desk.
"She's doing good. I just can't help but think there's something going on in that head of hers that she's not letting anyone know about" Jay said looking through the blinds at Erin who was sharing a laugh with Burgess and Roman who'd made their way upstairs.
"I know there's something wrong. I knew it the other night when you were working a sting and I drove by her apartment and saw all the lights on at 3 am" Voight looked at Jay who looked back at him.
"She's going to have to learn to lean on all of us" Jay said sighing as he sat down.
"I tried to get her to go to speak to a counselor and she wouldn't do it" Voight reclined back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.
"I'm hoping that getting out and going to the policeman's ball helps her. I think getting back and being around everyone will cheer her up" Jay stood up and walked over towards the door.
"We'll see. I don't think that it's wise for her to be brought into an event that big so suddenly, but since when do the two of you listen to me?" Voight leaned forward in his chair and grabbed a file off of the desk. "You'll be back on Monday, right?"
Jay nodded "Yeah, just thought I'd take a few personal days"
Voight nodded but didn't look up from his file. "Just make sure she gets some rest and that you get her to eat something"
Jay nodded and looked at Erin before looking back at Voight. "Any chance that you're going to let me stop tag team working with random partners?"
"Any chance you're going to go back in time and follow my rules?" Voight asked looking up at Jay.
"I was just asking. I mean Erin's going to be coming back soon and I..."
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it" Voight said. "Until then you'll work with who I say you work with. At least I can trust you to keep it in your pants when you're working with Atwater and Ruzek"
Jay shook his head and walked out of Voight's office.
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Jay sat in a chair outside of the dressing room of the store that he and Erin were in waiting on her to finish trying on her dress for the policeman's ball. He silently played "Candy Crush" as he waited for her. He glanced down at his watch and saw that she'd been in the dressing room for awhile now and he walked over to the door and knocked on it. "Er, you okay in there? Cause if you need help getting in or out of it...just let me know"
Erin heard Jay's voice on the other side of the door and she smiled sadly. He was such a good man. He deserved so much better than her.
Erin felt the hot tears burning her eyes as they spilled over down her cheeks. She turned and looked in the mirror at her reflection. She looked down at her arms which had long lost the bruising from her IV's, what hadn't faded though were the three scars that started below her breast bone and went across her flat stomach. She ran her hand over the red scars and shook her head.
Why can't she just sleep with the lights off when she's alone?
Why couldn't anyone understand that she just wanted to be left alone?
But most of all,
How was Jay supposed to think she was beautiful when she had these scars?
"Baby? Are you alright in there?" Jay asked knocking on the dressing room door again.
Erin shook all the bad thoughts out of her head and she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath.
"I'm fine. Just trying to decide what kind of underwear to wear with this dress" Erin joked hoping that Jay wouldn't notice anything wrong with her voice.
"None works for me" Jay said before pulling up the messaging on his Iphone.
Erin was getting dressed as her phone buzzed. She slid her thumb over the screen and read her text.
"Not nice to tease, Miss Lindsay. I'd hate to have to come in there and punish you"
Erin smiled as she read Jay's text and she thought for a minute before replying.
Jay felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out to read his text.
"You wish. But, you don't have big enough guts to come in here with me"
Jay rolled his eyes before replying to Erin's text.
Erin finished getting dressed and she opened her phone to read her text.
"Baby, my guts aren't the only thing that's "Big"...you just wait"
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Thoughts?