4. Chapter 4

Unclear why I can't seem to find this when I search on the CPD tab so if anyone knows what I should do lmk...but alas here's number 4.

Trigger Warning for child abuse.

While Jay had been absolutely spent from the whirlwind of a day, he couldn't seem to fall asleep. Erin had drifted off almost instantly, her head resting comfortably on his chest. In an attempt to induce some kind of slumber, Jay wriggled out of the cozy embrace and padded to the living room to watch some late-night hockey. He took the monitor with him, just in case.

After a half hour of commentary, Jay was finally dozing lightly when he heard a sharp squeal coming from Kate's room. At first, he thought he was just dreaming, but the whimper that followed caused him to spring up from the couch and quietly make his way to Kate's room. Another yelp came, and Jay carefully opened the door. "Kate?" He whispered, taking a cautious step toward the bed. The little girl was struggling underneath the covers, caught in what appeared to be a horrible nightmare. Even though it was dark, Jay could see that her pale cheeks were flushed and tears slowly seeped from beneath her eyelids.

Jay wasn't sure if he should wake up Erin, but she had been so exhausted that he decided against it. "Kate, wake up kiddo, it's just a bad dream." He gently moved the damp hair off her forehead, attempting to gently rise the child without sending her into a full-on panic attack.

Kate squirmed in her fitful sleep, desperately trying to tear her mind from the painful dream. After Jay gave her a gentle shake, she woke up gasping, tears streaming down her face. "Hey, Kate, it's Jay," Jay urged soothingly, trying to convey the fact that she was safe and that he wasn't a threat.

"J-Jay?" Kate stammered, finding his eyes amidst all the tears. Once she realized where she was, Kate threw herself into Jay's arms with a sob.

"Shh Squirt, you're safe." Jay held his little girl carefully, the initial shock of her surprise need to be held taking a while to make sense in his sleep-addled mind. He sat down on the edge of the bed and began stroking her hair back as he slowly rocked her back in an effort to soothe her heartbreaking cries, "I'm right here."

Kate clung to his bare chest, body still trembling and tears still leaking out of the corners of her eyes. "I'm scared," she whimpered, tightening her hold around his neck.

"I know, I know. I'm right here. I've got you." Jay cooed, gently rubbing her back in a circular motion. "You're okay." After a few minutes, Kate's sobs subsided from jerking her entire body to the occasional hiccup.

"Do you want to tell me about your dream?" he asked calmly, once her breathing had finally evened out. She shook her head and tightened her grip, burying her face into his neck. "Do you want to go back to sleep?" Again, she shook her head. Jay wracked his brain, trying to come up with a solution. "How about you come sit with me on the couch?"

"O-okay," Kate agreed, not letting go of her dad as he carried her into the living room. "I don't want to sleep," she informed him after Jay had settled back on the couch, Kate in his lap, one little arm around his waist and the other tightly holding the tiger.

"I know." Jay continued to rub calming circles on her back with his free hand. "We're just going to sit here for a bit, okay?"

"They're going to get me," Kate whimpered tearfully, becoming increasingly agitated, "They're going to get me and hurt me."

"Nobody is coming for you, squirt." Jay soothed, restarting the slow rocking back and forth motion in an attempt to get the little girl to relax. "I'm here, you're safe."

"But I don't want them to hurt you!" Kate wailed and promptly burst into tears again. "I don't want them to hurt you and Erin and I don't want them to take me away!"

"Hey, hey, hey." He placed his hand on the back of her head, looking her right in the eyes. "Nobody's going to hurt me. And nobody is going to hurt Erin. Trust me kiddo, I'm here to protect you and nobody gets by me."

"But they killed that lady. And they killed other men too," Kate dropped the tiger and clutched Jay's arm, "They have guns."

Jay took a deep breath, wondering how he should approach the subject that he and Erin both had guns. "You know how Erin and I are police officers?" Jay asked tentatively, trying to gauge if she even knew what he was talking about. Kate nodded. Dr. Handel was right-this child was brilliant and extremely perceptive. "Well, that means that we can protect you from those men, even if they have guns."

"You have guns t-too?" Kate looked up at Jay, sobs subsiding. "So even if the men came with guns, you have some?"

"That's right, Squirt." Jay pressed a kiss into her soft brown hair. "But they're never going to even get here. Because even if they tried, Sergeant Voight and the whole Chicago Police Department would make sure they couldn't get close. And even if they got close, which they never will," Jay emphasized, "Erin and I would protect you. I promise."

Kate paused before loosening her grip on Jay's arm. "Okay." She breathed, relaxing into his chest. "You're not gonna leave?"

"Nope," Jay replied, continuing the soothing ministrations, pausing to return the tiger to her tiny fist, "I'll be here as long as you want me." That seemed to resonate with the little girl, who snuggled deeper into her father's embrace. She let his comforting contact ground her, feeling more and more at peace with every gentle caress.

"C-can we check on Erin?" Kate murmured after a while, lifting her head off Jay's chest and looking up at him. He widened his eyes, having started to doze off.

"Of course," Jay pressed another kiss into her hair and carefully stood with the little girl in his arms, "Did your bad dream worry you?"

"Uh-huh," Kate replied, arms wrapped around Jay's neck, the tiger still tightly grasped in one hand, "I had a bad dream that the mean men came and hurt you and Erin."

"Well the good news is, that was just a dream." Jay quietly pushed open the door to his and Erin's bedroom. "See? Erin's sleeping right there." Erin lay peacefully under the covers, using Jay's pillow as a replacement for Jay's chest. Kate's fierce grip lessened and she let out a soft breath, clearly relieved.

"Babe?" Erin mumbled, reaching out for her partner who was not longer in the bed. "Jay?"

"Here, babe." Jay said gently, shifting Kate in his arms. She sat up and blearily squinted at Jay who was standing beside the bed with Kate against his chest.

"Is everything okay?" She rubbed her eyes, adjusting to the soft light that came in from the lamp in the living room. When Erin caught sight of Kate's red-rimmed eyes and occasional sniffles, she felt her heart clench.

"Bad dream. No big deal." Jay rested his cheek on Kate's head, "We just wanted to check on you, make sure you were okay."

Erin smiled sympathetically. "Well, now that you mention it, I could use a hug." Her eyes twinkled at Jay.

"What do you say, Squirt, do you want to give Erin a hug?" Jay wiped the tear trails off her cheek with the pad of his thumb. She nodded and Jay brought her over to Erin's waiting arms. Immediately, Kate wrapped her arms around Erin's neck and held her tightly.

"I'm glad you're okay." Kate whispered, relishing in the safety of Erin's embrace. She let out a yawn, relaxing in the comfort Erin provided.

"Tired baby?" Erin asked, threading her fingers through Kate's soft hair. The sleepy little girl shook her head but struggled to keep her eyes open and stifle another yawn.

"I don't want to sleep," she mumbled, turning her face into Erin's shoulder. "I don't want to sleep because I get scared." Erin looked up at Jay sadly. The amount of heartbreak one child endured never ceased to horrify her.

"Do you want to stay in here tonight?" Erin asked as Jay nodded his approval of the idea, "Snuggle with me?"

Kate nodded, removing her head from Erin's shoulder and looking up at her. "With you and Jay," She whispered, almost shamefully. "I don't want to be alone."

"Lucky for you, Jay loves to cuddle." Erin grinned up at her partner, "Do you feel comfortable with that?"

"Uh-huh." Kate murmured, her voice fading. "With you and Jay." She repeated, allowing Erin to gently settle them underneath the covers. Jay carefully crawled back into his bed, both his girls shifting closer to him.

"I do love to cuddle." Jay kissed the crown of Erin's head and then leaned down to kiss the top of Kate's head, Erin nestling into his shoulder, Kate resting on Erin's, snuggled in between the couple.

"Please stay," Kate whispered, her voice drowning in slumber. "Don't leave me."

"We're not going anywhere." he replied, brushing a finger over her pale cheeks. "Goodnight squirt, sleep well."

When Jay woke up the next morning, he couldn't remember a time when he had felt more rested. Waking up next to Erin usually ensured a good night's sleep, seeing as the PTSD nightmares seemed to abate when she was cuddled up next to him, but nothing could compare to having his girl and his daughter both pressed into his side. Kate had slept peacefully through the night following her midnight outburst, the stuffed tiger in the crook of her arm and body turned into Jay's, her head now resting on his bare chest. Erin was turned to her side, one arm stretching over Kate and onto Jay's hip, keeping him close despite the little body between them.

Jay was normally awake around half past five in the morning, using the half hour before Erin's alarm went off to watch his girl sleep peacefully. Since Hank had given them a few days off, Jay figured he had at least an hour or two before his girls rose to greet the day. He laid on the bed and took comfort in their serene slumber, occasionally toying with Erin's light brown locks.

Around half past six, Kate slowly stirred awake, tensing up as she took a moment to realize where she was. When it registered that she was surrounded by Jay and Erin she instantly relaxed and looked up to see Jay smiling at her. "Morning Squirt," he whispered, running a hand over her mussed hair.

"Hi Jay," Kate whispered back, offering a smile. She rested her head back on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked, continuing to stroke her hair. She nodded, pulling the tiger out from her elbow and bringing it to her chest. "Are you hungry? I could make pancakes." Jay offered. Even though she was just four years old, Jay knew that she wasn't being fed enough, since most for year olds he came across were considerably bigger. As she snuggled against him, Jay swore he could feel how fragile she was and was determined to get her eating a healthy number of calories. She looked up at him again and gave a shy smile.

"Yes, please." She agreed. Jay pressed his finger to his lips to indicate that they had to be very quiet to not wake Erin. He carefully got them out of bed and replaced their bodies with a few of Erin's pillows, Kate in his arms. He felt the little girl tense up after they left the bedroom. "Am I in trouble?" she asked nervously after Jay set her down on the kitchen counter.

He looked at her, surprised. "Of course not. Why do you think you're in trouble?" Jay gently stroked her cheek while she got up the courage to speak again.

"Because I woke you up last night. And Erin." Kate's eyes lowered and she blinked back tears. "I'm sorry."

"Hey, hey." Jay bent down so that he could look his little girl in the eye. "You have nothing to be sorry for, okay? I was awake already."

"But Erin is still sleeping," Kate paused, "And you didn't want to wake her up."

Jay smiled softly, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. "That's because Erin gets really sleepy sometimes. And on days when we don't have to work, I try not to wake her up so she gets more rest." He glanced over toward the bedroom. "But we can wake her up, if you want."

Kate shook her head and let out a wobbly breath. "It's okay. I just didn't want you to be mad."

"I could never be mad at you, Squirt." Jay kissed her forehead. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close. He closed his eyes, relishing in the moment.

"I like you a lot, Jay." Kate told him, giving another shy smile after she pulled back.

"Well, I like you more." Jay grinned, scooping her up in his arms and carrying her to the tall cabinets that served as the pantry. He kissed her hair again, still in disbelief that this loving little girl was his. "Now, I know Erin likes chocolate chips in her pancakes. What do you like?"

"You put chocolate chips in pancakes?" Kate looked at Jay with wide eyes. "For real?"

"Mm-hm." Jay reached into the cabinet, pulling out the pancake mix and a bag of chocolate chips. "Do you want to help me make them?" She nodded eagerly and let Jay set her back down on the counter.

Erin awoke slowly, sunlight streaming in through the windows and illuminating the exposed brick on her apartment wall. She reached over for Jay, coming in contact only with pillows, cold sheets and a stuffed animal. Her eyes snapped open at the realization that Kate was staying with them and had spent the night in their bed. Erin fumbled for her cell phone on the nightstand and did a double take. It was almost eight and she had gotten a rare extra two hours of sleep. Erin smiled to herself-she loved that Jay always wanted to make sure she got as much sleep as possible.

A melodic giggle, followed by Jay's goofy laugh and another squeal of laughter echoed from the kitchen, fully waking Erin up. She shed the comforter and slipped on one of Jay's hoodies before padding over to the kitchen, wondering what she was going to find.

Kate was sitting on the counter top, giggling relentlessly as Jay squirted himself a whipped cream mustache, adding to the many dollops of whipped cream already on his face. "I think you need a mustache too, Squirt." He said, holding the can out to her. She shrieked with laughter, covering her face with her hands. Jay put a tad bit of whipped cream on her nose, eliciting another joyous giggle from his little girl.

"What's going on in here?" Erin asked, making her way to the kitchen. Kate's smile dropped from her face, anticipating Erin's anger. She quickly wiped her nose and tensed up on the counter, cowering backward, nearly hitting her head on the cabinet.

"Making breakfast." Jay responded, determined to make Kate feel at ease. He put a dollop of the fluffy white substance on Erin's nose and another on his to match. She burst out laughing and Kate instantly relaxed, realizing that Erin wasn't angry at all. "Kate and I made chocolate chip pancakes."

"Wow!" Erin exclaimed, maneuvering around Jay and standing next to Kate. "Morning baby." She leaned down and pressed a kiss onto Kate's head. Relieved that Erin wasn't upset with her, Kate wrapped her arms around Erin and hugged her.

"Hi Erin." Kate smiled, looking up at the young detective. "Jay taught me how to make the batter."

"It looks like you did a fabulous job." Erin rubbed the little girl's shoulder. "How did you sleep?"

"Better in your bed." Kate responded bashfully, looking over to Jay who grinned widely.

"It was a fun sleepover, wasn't it?" Jay said, tossing a few chocolate chips in his mouth. Erin nodded and lifted Kate into her arms.

"Best sleep I ever had." She said, giving Kate a tap on the nose. "And Jay let me sleep in which was so nice since he normally gets me up really early to go to the gym!" Kate giggled again, catching sight of Jay stealthily squirting some more whipped cream onto Erin's face, causing Erin to laugh as well. The sound of his two girls giggling in the morning was the most beautiful noise Jay had ever heard.

"So you like pancakes, huh?" Jay asked Kate after they had finished eating. Kate had accepted four pancakes, eating two more than the initial two he placed on her plate. He was sure to ask before giving them to her and was glad she declined a fifth, meaning she was comfortable enough to say no and didn't think she had to consume everything in front of her.

"Yes!" Kate said enthusiastically, "I never had them with chocolate before!"

"Well, you did an amazing job helping baby, because I am so full." Erin smiled at Kate's growing comfortability with her and Jay. "How about we go to the store for some decorations for your room?"

"Okay." Kate agreed and accepted Erin's hand to get her changed for the outing.

"Do you think we overdid it?" Jay turned to Erin who was sitting in the passenger seat of the Sierra. They spent the morning picking out bedspreads and decorations to fill Kate's new room, along with a step stool and kid-friendly cups, plates and silverware. The little girl was completely overwhelmed by the ability to pick out her own clothes but happily selected a few books. She was exhausted by all the activity and choices, falling asleep on Jay's shoulder in the shop and was now sleeping soundly in the backseat of the Sierra.

"Nah," Erin smiled, pulling out a light blue shirt with daisies on it from a shopping bag at her feet, "I mean, how cute is this?" She held up a jean jacket and pair of socks, "So tiny!"

"She might outgrow this stuff in like a minute." Jay told her, "Especially if we feed her a normal number of calories."

"See, Halstead, that's why it good that I'm here, because without a woman's touch this little girl would be wearing a t shirt and jeans every day for the rest of her life." Erin joked, folding the clothes and putting them back in the bag. "And speaking of calories, I'm starving."

"Okay, how about burgers?" Jay asked, pointing straight ahead, "There's that place you like right up the street."

"Perfect," She paused, thinking for a moment. "You know, the district is right around the corner. What if we brought lunch there and introduce Kate to Hank, Platt and some of the guys?"

"Not a bad idea." Jay agreed, pulling into a parking spot. "Do you want to wait in the car with her, I'll get the food?"

Erin nodded. "I'll take a number 3, maybe get a number 2 for Hank and whatever you think Kate will like." He raised his eyebrows at her. "What? We can't show up to the district with lunch and not bring something for Voight." Jay rolled his eyes and went to order the food, quietly shutting the car door so he didn't startle his daughter.

"Kate? Wake up sweetheart." Erin lightly rested a hand on Kate's knee, gently rousing the little girl from slumber. She slowly cracked open her eyes and peered at Erin tiredly.

"Hi," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes, "Sorry."

"No need to be sorry, baby, you're allowed to sleep." Erin gave her knees another pat in reassurance. "Jay's getting some hamburgers, how does that sound?"

"Good." Kate gave Erin a sleepy smile. "Are we getting out?"

"Well, we were thinking that we could have lunch at the district since some of our friends really want to meet you." Erin said, carefully gauging Kate's facial expression, "Jay and I told them about how great you are and they want to say hi."

"Okay." Kate nodded skeptically, still waking up from her short nap, "They're good?"

"Oh yes." Erin assured her, "They're all police officers so they're very good." Jay pulled open the car door, bearing two large bags of takeout. "What, did you buy out the whole place?" Erin quipped as Jay passed her the food.

"I called the district to make sure it was okay that we stop by. And then Platt requested a burger and then Ruzek texted me and said he, Atwater, Antonio and Olinsky wanted food too." Jay slid into his seat and turned to face Kate. "Hiya, Squirt. Did you have a nice little nap?"

"Uh-huh." Kate replied, "Erin said we got burgers."

"That's right. Do you like burgers?" Jay asked, turning the key in the ignition. She smiled brightly. "Good. Do you know what else you like to eat?"

Kate thought for a moment, "Um, bananas." She said shyly, suddenly worried that she shouldn't be ungrateful. "B-but I like burgers."

"I think we can arrange to have some bananas later, what do you say babe?" Jay turned to Erin as he drove along the street. "I love bananas." He caught sight of Kate visibly relaxing in the rearview mirror. "What else do you like, Squirt?"

"I-I don't know." Kate replied, taking a moment to think again, "I think strawberries. And raspberries."

"Fruit, huh?" Erin turned around and gave Kate a smile. "What about watermelon?"

Kate nodded enthusiastically. "I love fruit because I get it when I'm good and I don't cry." Erin caught Jay's eye and swallowed thickly before forcing a smile.

"Oh yeah?" Jay said, clearing is throat as he pulled into the district parking lot, "Well, I think we'll have to stop at the grocery store on the way home for some fruit then."

"Even though I cried?" Kate looked incredulously at Jay, shocked that she would be allowed a treat even after being upset the night before. He turned around and offered a comforting smile.

"Squirt, you can have fruit whenever you want. No matter what." Jay gave her foot a pat. She smiled brightly at him and then looked out the window curiously.

"Where-where are we?" Kate asked slowly as Jay and Erin unbuckled their seatbelts and climbed out of the vehicle.

"We are at the Chicago Police Department's 21st District. It's where Jay and I work." Erin told her, unclipping the clasps on the car seat. Kate froze, nervously clutching the plastic sides to her seat. "Is it okay if I carry you?"

"Everyone is super friendly," Jay promised, holding the bags of takeout in one hand, "And we can show you our desks and all sorts of cool stuff."

"But this is the police station. Where they take bad guys." Kate looked up at Erin fearfully.

"They don't keep the bad guys in our office," Erin said, "We're going to where the good guys plan to catch the bad guys."

"Yeah, most of the bad guys are kept way across town," Jay added, "Only some of them come here, but they don't stay and they're not where we are. Plus, you're safe with me and Erin."

Kate still looked unconvinced but allowed Erin to carry her. She tightly held the material of Erin's shirt in her tiny fists and Erin could feel her heart racing. "Don't worry, you're safe with us." Erin whispered, adjusting Kate on her hip as Jay pulled open the front door.

"Hey Sarge." Jay called, entering the district and tapping the front desk. Platt was turned around, speaking to someone on the phone.

"I'm going to have to call you back." Platt hung up and turned, "Halstead. Lindsay." She looked over at Erin and Kate who was anxiously clinging to Erin, "And who do we have here?" The older woman offered a big smile.

"Sergeant Platt, this is Kate." Jay beamed.

"Well, you are just about the cutest little thing I've ever seen." Platt rounded the desk and leaned against the front. "Hi, Kate. I'm Trudy Platt." She waved and Kate returned a small smile.

"Hello." She whispered, still clutching Erin's shirt. Kate nervously glanced around at all the people milling around the entrance, from the patrolmen and women to civilians.

"We brought you a number four." Jay passed her the bag with her order in it, "We're going to eat in the breakroom upstairs."

"Sounds good. Nice to meet you, Kate." The little girl managed a small wave in response. The buzzer that sounded after Jay used the palm scanner to get upstairs caused Kate to jump. She held tightly to Erin as they followed Jay up the steps and into the bullpen.

"Hey man." Atwater greeted, standing up from his desk. Ruzek and Antonio emerged from the breakroom, bearing mugs of coffee.

"So what's the deal, Jay, you got a kid now?" Ruzek said, sauntering over to his desk. Jay cleared his throat and gestured to Erin who had Kate in her arms, making a face at the young officer.

"Guys, this is Kate. Kate, this is Al, Kevin, Antonio, and that silly kid over there is Adam." Jay stood next to Erin, the fear radiating off Kate almost palpable. She remained clamped to Erin's side but didn't hide in her shoulder like Jay expected she would.

"They're all really goofy." Erin added, shifting Kate slightly on her hip. The little girl clung impossibly tighter to Erin's shirt and glanced uneasily from one man to the other. Erin was grateful that Jay had called ahead, noting that the whiteboard that had the faces of Kate's captors on it was turned into the wall.

"Hi Kate." They chorused, offering wide, gentle smiles. In Jay's earlier call he was sure to mention just how skittish Kate was, especially when it came to strange men. Kate continued to regard them nervously and flinched when Antonio walked by to sit down at his desk.

"These guys are all really nice." Erin avowed, taking a step into the bullpen, "And they keep everyone safe."

"Like you and Jay?" Kate asked quietly, still anxiously taking in her surroundings.

"Just like me and Jay." Erin smiled, "And this is Sergeant Voight. He's our boss." Hank had just hung up the phone and exited his office.

"Hey kiddo." Hank smiled at the sight of his girl with a child on the hip. "How's it going, Jay?"

"Awesome." Jay replied, reaching into the bag and tossing each of his teammates their respective order. "We just came from the store, we bought all sorts of stuff and we thought it would be good to show Kate where Erin and I work."

"Great idea." Hank took a step closer toward Erin. "Hi Kate, my name is Sergeant Voight, but you can call me Hank." His normally gruff voice was light and gentle, causing Jay to raise his eyebrows and look incredulously at the rest of the group.

"Hi." Kate whispered, intently studying Hank's face. She looked up at Erin and over to Hank again. "You were the man who found me."

"That's right," Hank smiled, "You were the bravest kid I ever met." The little girl blushed, turning her face into Erin's shoulder.