39. A Beautiful Story

Thank y'all so much for your ongoing support! So here it comes, the chapter you've been waiting for...I really hope you like it! :)

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39. A Beautiful Story

Life has its own rules and creates stories that sometimes feel like a joke. Life is unpredictable and sometimes has a funny way to play with fate.

Not only once during the last nine months, Erin and Jay had feared that their baby would be born early, maybe too early to survive, maybe unassisted so no one would be there to help them in an emergency and they had therefore prayed that she would stay inside where she was safe for a couple more weeks. Multiple times they had told their daughter that she should stay in Erin's belly until she was supposed to enter this world, until she was strong enough, until they could go to a hospital for the delivery. And she had listened to them. Maybe a little too good. Because now here they were, three days past Erin's due date, still waiting, getting more and more impatient, and constantly telling their baby that she should and could come by now. But they weren't the ones who pulled the strings here, the ones who made the rules. Life pulled the strings, life made the rules, life was the playmaker and life was about to create a beautiful story for them...

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

A ray of sunshine that found its way through the curtains into the bedroom on Sunday morning let Jay wake up. He blinked sometimes and turned to Erin's side of the bed. Of course she was awake already, it was almost 9am after all and there was no chance for her to sleep that long. She leaned against some pillows and scrolled through some things on her phone, didn't even recognize how he stared at her.

″What are you doing?″ Jay yawned and pulled himself up on his elbow.

″Checking out tips how to induce labor naturally,″ she said and kept her gaze focussed on her phone.

″And did you find something useful?″ he asked.

″Naah, not really, but we can at least try some of this stuff,″ she grinned at him, a glance of roguery in her eyes. ″I have a plan for today.″

″Do you?″ he asked, getting a little curious. ″Does your plan have to do with this stuff or how you called it?″

″Uh-huh,″ she chuckled. ″We need to have sex, lots of sex,″ she laughed without keeping him on tenterhooks any longer and his eyes widened to an unimaginable size. They haven't had sex since the night he had proposed to her as she hasn't been in the mood, felt heavy and fat and uncomfortable. For Jay she was still the sexiest woman alive though and he loved every single bit of her body, her full breasts, her new curves and most of all her expanding stomach that provided their baby a home.

″Uhm, I think I like that,″ he murmured, grinning mischievously now, too.

″No seriously,″ she laughed. ″Sex helps to induce labor. And so does walking and eating spicy and a belly-massage and a foot reflexology.″

″So that's your plan for today?″

″Exactly,″ she nodded. ″Starting or ending the day with a little bit of scrabble, walking along Lake Michigan all day, coming home, getting a belly-massage with almond oil from you and you can also massage my feet and then we'll walk to that Indian restaurant a couple of blocks from here and eat the spiciest things they have,″ she told him about her plan, the tiniest bit of determination glimmering in her eyes. She wanted this baby out and as Emilia obviously didn't want to come on her own, she would do all these things to force her to come out.

″Ouh Emmy,″ Jay smirked and leaned over her belly to place a kiss on it, ″your mommy's really kicking your ass outta there now,″ he said with a chuckle and then faced Erin again to place a soft kiss on her lips, his hand still tracing circles onto her stomach.

″She was in there for long enough now, so she can't complain that I finally want my stomach for myself again,″ she laughed, tickling his neck with her fingers.

″Can't argue about that,″ he chuckled and kissed her again while his hand pulled her shirt up so his fingers could caress her bare skin. ″Talking about scrabble in the morning or the evening...do you think our chances would be better when we do it in the morning AND in the evening,″ he murmured into her ear and started to place kisses along her jaw.

″I don't know but maybe we should try?″ she asked and giggled when she felt his soft lips breathing down her neck while placing kisses there.

″I'm in,″ he grinned when he looked up to her before their lips crashed in a longing kiss and all their feelings for each other bursted out of them passionately.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

They strictly followed Erin's plan throughout the day, walked along Lake Michigan for almost four hours and ate hot dogs with a spicy sauce. When they returned home in the afternoon Erin took a long, hot bath with aromatic oils and then got spoiled by Jay massaging her belly gently for fifteen minutes and continuing afterwards with massaging her feet. After getting dressed they walked to the Indian restaurant just like they had planned and ordered some spicy meals. Erin almost overdid it a little as hers was so spicy that she had to cry while eating it, so the kitchen took it back and added some coconut milk to make it milder and when she got it again it was eatable but still spicier than the things she usually ate. So she hoped it would have an effect anyway.

Lying in their bed later that night they both weren't in the mood for another round of scrabble because they were both a little frustrated as nothing seemed to work and Erin still felt the same. Jay reminded her to stay patient and that it took time until all these things would make inroads although he had of course also hoped that things would maybe happen a little faster with everything they had tried throughout the day.

Monday morning came and a little scrabble before work was never wrong, maybe it would help this time. They also agreed that they would do the same things again they had already done yesterday when Jay returned from work in the evening. Hank was clement with him and he didn't have to work the all-nighters, was instead allowed to leave the bullpen around 6pm to be with Erin and spend some time with her. As always, Erin checked by around noon, brought them pizza for lunch, an extra spicy one with jalapenos for herself, and helped them to put some pieces of their current case together. She left the bullpen in the late afternoon before Jay to run for some errands and already waited for him on the couch when he came home in the evening.

They parked their car close to downtown, strolled through the still busy city although the freezing cold was about to make a comeback, went to another restaurant that had lots of spicy dishes on their menu and then walked back to the parking garage. Coming home, Erin took another bath and later got another belly-massage from Jay when they lay in their bed and no matter how bugged Erin was at the moment, she enjoyed every single second of his hands caressing her round stomach as she knew this would soon be over.

″Maybe this whole massage-thing isn't something that makes her come out but maybe what keeps her inside,″ Jay said when he felt his daughter's well-known kicks against his hands.

″At this point I really don't know what keeps her inside,″ Erin sighed and also rubbed her belly. Maybe four hands had a better effect than just two. ″I mean, it must be super tight in there by now. This can't be comfortable.″

″It's dark in there, it's warm, she is supplied with food all the time and doesn't have to cry to get some and at the same time she still gets all the attention and all the love,″ Jay smirked. ″Doesn't sound too bad, huh?″

Erin only nodded in response, stared down to their hands which covered her belly and when she started to speak again, her voice was all serious, even had a depressed undertone in it.

″Today Dr. Hanson said that I'll get induced in case she's not here by Friday. She doesn't want to let me go to 42 weeks and said 41 weeks are more than enough and once I passed 41 weeks it's better to give her a little push and they recommend induction,″ Erin said and towards the end her voice got lower and lower while she still glanced at her bare belly.

″Hey Er,″ Jay said softly and grabbed her chin so she had to look him in the eyes. ″That's still four days. Anything can happen in four days,″ he assured her and tried his best to give her some comfort.

″I don't want to get induced, Jay,″ she whispered and a silent tear rolled down her cheek.

″Babe,″ Jay also whispered and pulled her into his embrace. He felt so bad for her, the Erin he knew would never cry because of this. But she was on the edge of a breakdown, was physically and psychologically exhausted and he knew she couldn't keep going like this for so much longer.

″Maybe getting induced isn't the worst idea at this point,″ he said and stroked her hair while she sobbed onto his shoulder.

″No, I don't want this,″ she said and lifted her head to look at him with tear-stained eyes that shimmered green right now. ″Everywhere I read that induced labor is so much harder than natural labor and the thought about being in labor already scares me enough. And often iductions end in a c-section because the baby gets in stress. I don't want this Jay,″ she said desperately and leaned onto his shoulder again, enjoyed how he rubbed her back, trying to calm her down.

″We won't need it, Erin,″ he told her and also told it himself.

″I can't go on any longer, Jay,″ she whispered onto his chest. ″I can't wait any longer, I can't wake up every morning realizing everything is still the same, I can't go to bed every evening, accepting that nothing we do helps, I simply can't do this anymore.″

″Erin I feel exactly like you but still I can't even imagine how much harder it must be for you. But we're almost there, it's a matter of days now, maybe a matter of hours. We won't give up. We'll keep on doing what we're doing since yesterday and you know what? I think she takes exactly the time she needs and she will come when she's ready. We should give her that time and just try to enjoy these last few days as just the two of us although it's hard because we want her to be here by now so badly. But I'm sure there's a reason why she's letting us wait.″

″Yeah, pretty sure she wants to test our patience to check how resilient we are...you know, for the future already,″ Erin said but she also had to laugh a little by her own words.

″Something like this, yeah,″ Jay chuckled. ″And now lie back,″ he ordered and softly pushed her into the cushions, covered her with the blanket while she watched him frowning.

″Close your eyes,″ he said.

″What are you doing?″ she asked.

″Just close your eyes, okay?″ he winked, brushing a strand out of her face.

″Okay,″ she sighed and closed her eyes.

″Now inhale and then exhale, inhale and then exhale,″ he said and without questioning it any further she obeyed, stayed in that steady rhythm even when he stopped talking.

″How do you feel now?″ he asked.

″Better,″ she answered. Her eyes were still closed but a faint smile formed on her lips.

″Okay, keep on concentrating on your breathing and tell me about your maternal instincts. What do they tell you? Do we have to consider induction or not?″

″Jay...-″ she sighed and opened her eyes.

″Keep those eyes closed, concentrate on your breathing and then tell me what your body tells you,″ he said all calm. She looked at him for another second and then closed her eyes again. It took some time until she spoke again.

″She'll come before Friday,″ she finally said and her eyes fluttered open. ″But maybe my body is just telling me what I wish for.″

″Even if it is, keep this positive feeling now,″ Jay smiled, being relieved that whatever he had done there out of pure desperation had obviously helped. ″Positive vibes is all we need right now.″

″I'll try,″ she said quietly. ″Thank you for this Jay. Thank you for calming me down when my hormones freak out.″

″I have quite some experience with it by now,″ he shrugged and grinned at her innocently.

″The bad thing is, I can't even argue with that,″ she chuckled and instead of celebrating this little win by teasing her, Jay just placed the softest of kisses on her lips which was so much more appropriate in their current situation.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

The ringing of Jay's alarm clock broke the silence in the bedroom on early Tuesday morning at 6am. Jay turned it off as fast as possible so Erin could maybe sleep a little while longer. He got up, stretched the aching muscles of his body and pulled the curtain in front of the window back a little to take a look outside. Chicago was still sleeping as the darkness of this winter morning surrounded the streets and the skyscrapers, as snow fell from the sky again. Everyone had hoped that after the snowstorm they wouldn't get any more snow but such hopes were highly unrealistic when the name of your hometown was Chicago and winter could even make a comeback here in late April.

Jay grabbed some of his clothes, went to the bathroom, took a shower to wake up completely and then started to make breakfast. When Erin still wasn't awake when breakfast was ready, he put a plate with toast and bacon and scrambled eggs on a tray and joined her in the bedroom again. He woke her up in the softest way possible, by whispering her name and kissing her cheek. On any other occasion he would've let her sleep but just like every morning he wanted to know how she felt, wanted to ask her whether everything was alright before he left. And just like every morning she told him that she felt good, that he should go to work and that she would check by later.

So Jay kissed her for goodbye when it was time for him to leave for work and then left her alone in their apartment, not feeling comfortable with it just like every other day of the last two weeks. Erin spent another hour in bed as she was beyond tired. She's had false labor again during the night, but this time it had taken two hours until it was gone which she assumed was normal at this stage.

When she waddled into the bathroom an hour later to take a shower it was the first time that she felt an unknown and really uncomfortable pressure in her pelvis and taking a look in the mirror once she'd hit the bathroom confirmed that feeling. Her belly has definitely dropped since yesterday and maybe this was a sign that she was finally making some progress, that all their little tricks slowly but steady played out.

It was while folding some of Jay's shirts in the bedroom, while putting the dishes out of the dishwasher and into the cupboard, while vacuuming the floor of the living room, when the first waves of this unknown pain swept through her lower back and her abdomen. She didn't give it much thought for two hours, it came and went unregularly, at least in the beginning and it felt like false labor though definitely stronger than last night. But when she somewhen had to wince quietly by the increasing intensity, when she had to sit down on the couch and breathed through the pain and when the intervals in between got shorter and more regular, the realization hit her that this wasn't just some pain but that this was it. This was what they've been waiting for, what they have forced to happen. She was having real contractions. She needed a moment to process what was happening, to tell herself to stay calm, waited for the next contraction and stopped the time until another wave of pain swept through her body. They were still far apart, eight to nine minutes, but anyway, the last thing she wanted right now was being alone. She wanted Jay to be with her, needed his comfort, needed to hear his soft voice. Hoping that he was in the bullpen and not out on a bust that would take him some hours she dialed his number with trembling fingers, ready to tell him the words that would bring him close to suffer a heart attack...

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Guys, Erin's calling, do I have all your orders?″ Jay asked when he saw the beautiful face of his fiancée flash up on the screen of his phone. It was a couple of minutes after noon, Erin was supposed to join them soon. Some days she simply brought lunch without asking them before what they wanted, sometimes she called before. Today seemed to be a calling-day.

″Hi babe, I already have all the orders here,″ he answered the call laughingly but it only took some seconds and any color fell from his face and he jumped up from his chair hectically.

″I'll be there in ten,″ he managed to say hoarsly and hung up.

″What's wrong?″ Antonio asked, being slightly worried about his friend who looked like he's just seen a ghost. Given the fact that he was considered to be one of the best detectives in Chicago he actually should've known himself what was going on.

″Erin's having contractions, I gotta go,″ he said and grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair. ″Can you guys tell Hank?″ he asked. Their boss and Alvin were out on the streets, talking with some CIs.

″Sure,″ Antonio nodded instantly.

″Thanks,″ Jay answered, took a deep breath and ran out of the bullpen.

″Jay, good luck,″ Antonio called when Jay was already halfway down the stairs.

″Thanks,″ he called back, taking two steps at a time, ignoring a sassy remark from Platt about whatsoever while storming out of the precinct and running to his car. Of course today it had to snow. Of course today he would most likely need twenty minutes home. Of course today he would most likely directly drive into a traffic jam. Of course Erin would go into labor on a day when barely any road was cleared from the snow.

As expected it took Jay more than twenty minutes to get home. More than once he wondered why no genius has invented beaming by now. Thinking about beaming that would be so much appreciated right now, getting into a fuss about stupid drivers in front of him, scolding all the red traffic lights he had to stop at helped him not to think about this one thing that let his stomach turn, that let his heart stop beating. Or start racing? He didn't know. But what he knew was that he was going to become a father today.

″Erin?″ he asked immediately after locking up the door of their apartment.

″I'm here,″ she called and shuffled from the bedroom into the living room. An endless feeling of relief filled her when she saw him standing in the hall like the rock he was, the rock she needed right now, and she literally fell into his arms. She wrapped her arms around his back, pressing her cheek into his cotton-shirt, listening to his heartbeat. Now everything was going to be okay.

″How do you feel?″ he mumbled into her hair.

″It's getting stronger and it's definitely coming regularly.″

″When was your last contraction?″

″Six or so minutes ago,″ she said, still not changing her current position. In his strong arms she felt so much better, felt like his strong arms made her stronger.

″Do you need anything?″ he asked, wanting to help her somehow, to do anything for her.

″Just keep on holding me, the next one is coming soon,″ she mumbled into his shirt.

″Okay,″ he said and placed a kiss on her hair. They stood in the middle of the living room like this for another minute when Erin's breathing got heavier and she winced quietly. Jay automatically increased the pressure of his hands on her lower back by rubbing circles on it. The contraction was gone after not even a minute and he felt Erin relaxing in his arms as soon as the pain was gone.

″How far apart are your contractions?″

″Seven to eight minutes, give or take,″ she told him and lifted her head, even managed to smile faintly at him. They both were nervous but at they same time they were also full with anticipation. The day was here. Finally.

″You want to go to the hospital?″

″Naah, not yet,″ she said and shook her head. ″Let's stay here for a little longer.″

″Alright,″ Jay nodded, took a deep breath and told himself that everything was under control. Although this was Erin's first baby he was sure she knew what she was doing and when she wanted to stay here, they would until she would tell him different. He brought her her big pillow from the bedroom so she could get as comfortable as possible on the couch and then also brought her a glass of water. She needed to stay hydrated and she needed to eat to have all the power possible for the hours to come.

Erin kept on laboring at home for another three hours. Whenever she had a contraction she got up from the couch and leaned on Jay, letting him help her to get through it somehow. When the contractions got stronger she spent half an hour in the warm water of the bathtub and it really helped her muscles to relax.

″I guess it's time,″ Erin said after getting out of the bathtub when Jay helped her to get into her clothes. Her contractions were about five minutes apart now and considering that they still had to drive to Med, which would take twenty minutes to half an hour with all the snow, it was time to leave their apartment. Time to leave their old life behind. Time to only come back here with their baby girl.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

″You're at three centimeters but your water isn't broken yet,″ Dr. Hanson said after examining Erin. It was 4.30pm, they'd arrived at Med half an hour ago. Since then Erin has been connected with the CTG that controlled their baby's heartbeat and Erin's contractions. As they both hated hospitals quite a lot they had beforehand decided that they preferred one of the big family rooms instead of an usual delivery room. In this room they didn't feel like being in a hospital at all, more like being in a birth house. It was a big room painted in peaceful, warm colors. Instead of a typical hospital bed there was a normal king-sized bed with colorful sheets, in the edge of the room close to the window was a big bathtub, a birthing ball was also here and some mattresses were placed on the floor. And the best thing was, this wasn't only a room for laboring, Erin could even give birth in here in case everything went smooth but they also had an OR close in case of an emergency.

″Okay, what does that mean?″ Jay asked.

″It will take a while,″ Erin sighed. ″Right?″ she asked and looked to her doctor.

″It's a matter of hours now but yeah, it'll take a while,″ she confirmed. ″We keep on writing the CTG for another fifteen minutes and then you can walk up and down the hall and up and down the stairs as long as you feel comfortable with it or until your water breaks.″

″Okay,″ Erin nodded, preparing herself for some very uncomfortable hours.

After slipping back into her sweatpants and her shirt they walked through the corridor of the labor & delivery floor up and down and down and up and also explored the staircase of the six-storeyed hospital, taking all the steps in a pace that was okay for Erin. Two hours went by and with every step she took Erin had the feeling that her baby dropped a little further. Two hours of leaning on Jay more than ever. Two hours in which the contractions started to come closer, within three to four minutes now, and became stronger and more painful but her water still didn't break. After these two hours they had to do another CTG to control whether their baby was in stress but everything was still as perfect as possible and Erin was at five centimeters now, halfway there.

″Five centimeters,″ Erin said when they walked through the corridors once again, passing the same doors, chairs, vending machines, and all the other things for what felt like the 100th time. ″That means just two damn centimeters in more than two hours, what makes at least five more hours until I'm at the point where I can push her out,″ she sighed. As long as she didn't have a contraction she felt more or less good. But once this disgusting pain started to increase in her lower back she felt like being caught in hell and she wasn't sure how much longer she could bear it. And she knew the contractions were just about to become even stronger.

″Halfway there,″ Jay said and gave her an encouraging smile.

″The first contraction was more than nine hours ago. Nine. If this is only the half of it now I...,″ she started to complain but stopped aprubtly when she felt another contraction radiating through her body.

″Oh damn,″ she breathed out, buried her head in Jay's chest, holding on him with all she had, clawing her fingers into his shirt. He massaged her lower back with his fingers but unfortunately she was at a point where the pressure of his hands and fingers didn't help anymore.

It was an hour later, shortly after 8pm, while being on the way back to their room as Erin started to feel really uncomfortable with walking and just wanted to lie down when her water broke, when the liquid that gushed down her thighs left her sweatpants all wet. Unfortunately, things didn't go faster from now on anyway, only the contractions increased in their intensity and lasted longer so she had barely three minutes to relax in between. She spent quite some time on the birthing ball or got on her knees, embracing the ball so she could halfway lie on it while soft music played in the background, while Jay massaged her back all the time to somehow help her to deal with the pain, and she then somewhen lay down in the bed again, the CTG monitoring her contractions closely.

″Jay,″ Erin groaned, clawing her fingers into his hand as another strong contraction came up. It was 10.30pm. Three hours ago she had already thought that she can't stand this pain any longer and by now the intensity of the contractions has even doubled.

″I'm here, you're doing great,″ Jay whispered, not knowing what else to tell her. Seeing her in pain was the hardest thing for him and he has never felt as helpless as right now, knowing that he couldn't do anything for her other then feeding her ice chips, being there for her and show her his support somehow when all he wanted to do was just taking the pain away from her.

″I can't do this anymore,″ she whimpered, another moan escaping from her lips. She had known that labor was hard but now she knew that someone who had never been through this before could not nearly imagine how hard and painful it actually was.

″You can,″ he assured her, squeezing her hand. ″The contraction is almost over,″ he said, looking at the monitor just to see that the line had already reached its peak. She buried her face in her pillow, moaned into it and kept on inhaling and exhaling deeply. There was nothing else she could do anyway other than breathing through it somehow and hoping that it would soon be over. Both, their midwife Katy and her doctor had already asked her whether she wanted an epidural but she had declined. She was still determined to do this without any drugs although she was close to the point where she would give this plan up and would simply take whatever could take the pain away from her.

″Why exactly did I want her to come out?″ she said when the contraction was gone. ″Because I think I changed my mind.″

″I think it's a little to late for that now,″ Jay smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

″I just want her to be out now, like right now. I want it to be over.″

″You're getting there babe. Every contraction brings you closer to meet her,″ he said, brushing a strand, that had loosened from her messy ponytail, behind her ear.

″Us,″ she answered and even managed to smile faintly but it immediately fell from her face and turned into a wince first and then a groan when another wave of the hardest pain she's ever felt went through her back, her pelvis and her abdomen. She was tired and exhausted and labor took everything from her but yet the most strenuous part was still about to come...

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Push Erin, give me a really hard push,″ Dr. Hanson encouraged her. Again. Like she had so often within the last 20 minutes. This was how long Erin has already been pushing without having the feeling that she was making any progress. At least not as much as she wanted.

At around 11.00pm Erin had changed from the bed into the big bathtub filled with warm water that had surprisingly helped to reduce the labor pain at least a bit and had also helped her to finally fully dilate. And now she was still lying in the tub, which she had all for herself, her knees bent in front of her, while trying to push her baby out somehow. Jay sat on her left side, held her hand and encouraged and supported her in the best way he could while Dr. Hanson and Katy were on the right side of the tub. The atmosphere in the room was actually quite nice and relaxing, with normal lights and not the usual cold hospital lights, with as less people as possible in the room and with the medical people being pretty relaxed as everything went smooth and easy and as perfect as possible.

At around 12.45am, 25 minutes ago, their midwife had called Dr. Hanson and Erin had then started pushing her baby into this world, had discovered energy and strength she thought she'd lost within the last fifteen hours. Maybe by now there really wasn't any energy and strength left in her anymore but although the pain was unbearable, she knew she had to keep going. There was no going back now. She was so close to hold their baby in her arms and she had to keep pushing and deliver her safely although she had the feeling to collaps due to exhaustion any second.

″I can't,″ she cried, closing her eyes to gather all her energy once again.

″You can, Er, you can,″ Jay said emphatically. She was close now. So close. He had no idea how she did it, how she still kept going after more than fifteen hours of labor, how she could handle the pain without screaming aloud. All the way along she had sticked to her plan to give birth completely unmedicated and the respect and admiration he had for her reached unreal levels.

″Come on Erin, not long now,″ Katy said, checking the heartbeat of the baby with the Doppler. Still a strong and steady woosh-woosh.

Erin took a deep breath and leaned forward, tucking her chin to her chest and bearing down, pushing as hard as she could. Once again her fingers clawed into Jay's hand, that was maybe broken by now, by the burning pain that went through her body when she felt her baby moving further down to the entrance of this world.

″This was awesome,″ Dr. Hanson said when Erin gasped for air and leaned her head back against the tub. ″It looks like your little lady has dark brown hair.″

Erin didn't really realize the things being said around her anymore. Everything was kinda blurry because of the burning pain, she was concentrated to not scream the pain away and focussed on her breathing instead, on her contractions and on gathering enough energy in between the contractions. For Jay seeing the head of his daughter coming, was so unreal, he was unable to sort all the feelings that went through his mind and he just tried to soak in this moment as good as possible. He would remember this day forever anyway.

″Another contraction?″ he asked when he saw her grimacing. She only nodded in response and kept her eyes closed.

″Alright, big push Erin,″ Katy said and once again Erin leaned forward and pushed with all she had. In between she took a deep breath and pushed again, tried to take full advantage of this long contraction. ″That's great, the head is crowning, keep on going,″ her doctor said but Erin didn't need to hear it, she could feel the excruciating, searing, burning pain that her daughter's head crowning caused in every inch of her body.

″It fucking hurts so much,″ she groaned, gasping for air once again. Why couldn't someone just simply pull her baby out by now and relieve her from the pain? Why did this take forever?

″You're doing great Er, you're doing so great,″ Jay whispered, being all fascinated from the miracle he was allowed to attend at the moment. Being all fascinated and amazed from her unbelievable strength.

″Three more contractions and she's here,″ Katy encouraged Erin.

″I can't do this anymore. I can't."

″Hey, Er, you are the strongest person I know, so when anyone can do this, it's you. I don't doubt you and you shouldn't doubt yourself either. You're almost there now, come on, I know you can do this because you're a rockstar,″ Jay said quietly, cleaning her sweaty forehead with a cold wash cloth.

″Okay,″ she breathed out. Looking into his eyes, listening to his encouraging words, holding his hand, knowing that he was there was exactly the support she needed. ″Thank you.″

″That's why you have backup,″ he winked and squeezed her hand. He was her backup. Always had been and always would be, in each and every situation.

When the next two contractions radiated through her entire body, when she once again almost broke Jay's hand with her grasp, when the pain reached an even higher level, she birthed the head of her daughter and just as predicted it took another contraction afterwards and some effort and Erin birthed the shoulders and the rest of her baby's body into the world.

And then it was there: the unreal moment of love at first sight, the moment where time stood still, the moment they would never forget for the rest of their lives, the moment when Katy placed the tiny, squishy baby with the dark brown hair on Erin's chest only seconds after her baby's body had slipped from inside her. Emilia Camille Halstead was born on the 1st of February 2017 at 1.21am, entering the world with a loud and healthy scream, the one noise her parents have been waiting for so long, the once noise that let tears fall from their eyes. Tears of emotion, tears of joy, tears of exhaustion, tears of gratitude.

″Oh god, hello baby girl,″ Erin sobbed, looked down to that perfect human being that lay on her chest and ran her hand across her daughter's wet hair and her soft cheeks while Katy covered the baby with a towel.

″You did it,″ Jay said and in this moment this was all he was able to say as all of his emotions and feelings hit him with full force and left him speechless. He didn't even try to hide all his tears and let them run down his face. There she was, their daughter. Dark brown hair, bright blue eyes. Beautiful. And as perfect as possible. He was a father now and Erin a mother. How could one moment feel so unreal but at the same time also feel like the most real moment ever?

″She is beautiful,″ Jay whispered and only now he also ran his hand across his daughter's head carefully and then rested it on her back to calm her down as she was still slightly screaming.

″She is,″ Erin agreed and turned her head to him, a beaming smile surrounding her lips while some tears still fell from her eyes.

″I love you. God, I love you so much,″ Jay said and leaned in, pressed his lips against Erin's. Before these intense hours in the delivery room he had thought he couldn't love her any more than he already did but seeing her giving birth to their baby has brought the love he felt for her to a complete new level. ″I'm so, so, so proud of you. Thank you for this,″ he whispered and looked down to Emilia who slowly seemed to settle on her mother's chest and had stopped screaming, was only slightly whimpering now.

″No Jay, thank you,″ Erin smiled while stroking Emmy's tiny fingers. ″I mean look at her. Can you believe we made her?″

″Nope,″ Jay grinned.

″Me neither,″ she answered and slightly shook her head, still not being able to find the right words to describe her feelings and the love she felt at the moment.

Erin stayed in the tub with the warm water for a little while longer while Jay was busy with making lots of pictures and snapping every moment. She enjoyed these first moments of bonding and skin-to-skin time with Emilia and only got remembered that she had actually given birth not long ago when she felt another contraction coming up as she still had to birth the placenta, which was, compared to the actual birth, not a big deal.

Afterwards, when Jay had proudly cut the umbilical cord, Erin changed to the bed again and Katy took Emilia from her for a quick routine check-up in the same room, with Jay watching attentively and taking some more photos.

″6lbs 12oz, 19.7 inches long, not so big for being six days overdue,″ Katy grinned to Erin.

″But she's healthy, isn't she?″ Erin asked, trying to catch a glimpse of what Katy was doing.

″Perfectly healthy,″ Katy confirmed and a wide smile spread across the new parents's faces.

With the help of Katy Jay was the one who gave their daughter her first bath, being extremely careful with every touch as he was a bit scared that he could hurt her as she was so tiny and fragile but Katy always assured him that he was doing fine and that he didn't have to be scared. He then also put her on her first diaper, almost handling it like he's never done anything else in his life. When Emilia was freshly bathed and pampered, Erin got her half-naked baby back for a little more skin-to-skin time and also nursed her for the first time under the instruction and with the help of Katy. She settled her against her breast, holding her carefully and Emilia instantly knew what to do and latched onto her nipple, began nursing hungrily.

″Am I doing it right?″ Erin asked and her voice came insecure. It somehow felt weird and she assumed that she was maybe doing it wrong as she had actually no clue what she was doing.

″You couldn't do it any better mama,″ Katy winked while Jay took some more photos with his phone.

″Okay...it just feels strange,″ Erin admitted, looking down to her baby girl, still not being able to believe that this was really happening, that Emilia was here, that she was a mother. That this beautiful baby was what she and Jay had created in this one night on the couch.

″It'll only feel strange the first few times until you get used to it,″ Katy answered, trying to take the insecurity off the young mother like she did on a daily basis.

When Emmy was all fed and happy, Erin felt strong enough to take a much needed shower, so while Katy helped her to go to the bathroom, it was now Jay who lay down in the bed and enjoyed some skin-to-skin time with his daughter, getting to know her a little better. Now that the few strands of hair that covered her head were dry, her hair wasn't as dark as they thought it is, it looked more like a light brown, a honey brown-blonde to him, quite similar to Erin's hair color. And she definitely had Erin's nose and her lips and all in all he thought she looked a lot like her mother. With exception of her eye color. Her eyes shined in the brightest blue, like diamonds. That this tiny perfect miracle was his daughter was something he still couldn't believe. He stroked her tiny hand and she wrapped her hand around his smallest finger. Jay had to grin, not only because this was such a perfect moment, but also because he was sure that this was his future. That his baby girl would wrap him around her little finger easily.

″Daddy loves you,″ he whispered and placed a soft kiss on her head. ″And I promise you I will give my very best to be the best father you could wish for,″ he said quietly. ″I promise you I will not end up like my father baby girl but I will make you happy and protect you for the rest of my life.″

While waiting for Erin, Emilia fell asleep on his bare chest, his heartbeat obviously giving her some comfort and reminding her to the time in Erin's womb, and only now Jay realized that they haven't informed Hank and his brother about the birth of their granddaughter respectively niece yet. The last time he had informed all of their friends and family about what was going on was long before Erin had entered the tub. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Will's number but of course he didn't answer as it was almost 3am, so he just took a picture of the sleeping baby on his chest, that was covered with a yellow, cozy blanket, and sent it to him, leaving him the simple message 'You're an uncle now' on his voicemail.

Things were different with Hank though. He has obviously been waiting for this one call and answered his phone after a couple of seconds.

″Jay, finally. I started to get worried,″ Hank greeted him. ″Is everything alright?″

″Yes,″ Jay said smilingly, looking down to Emilia again, stroking over her back, that was covered with the blanket, with the thumb of his free hand. ″She was born at 1.21am, weighs 6lbs 12oz and is 19.7 inches long. She's perfect in every way and looks a lot like Erin.″

″Wow...,″ Hank said, obviously being a little speechless by these news although he'd known that they were coming. ″Congratulations Jay, to the both of you.″

″Thank you.″

″How's Erin doing?″ Hank asked.

″She's fine. She's taking a shower at the moment but damn, she was a rockstar,″ Jay sighed.

″Bet she was,″ Hank answered and Jay could hear in his voice that he was smiling. ″Does the baby have a name or did you forget to tell me this on purpose?″

″Well,″ Jay said and chuckled slightly. ″She has a name but we'll only tell you when we can introduce her to you in person.″

″Alright, first thing in the morning,″ Hank said. ″Tell Erin I love her.″

″I will. I hope you can sleep well now,″ Jay laughed.

″Yeah, now I can. See you in the morning.″ With these words Hank hung up and the room fell into silence again until Erin came back from the bathroom, wearing a fresh pair of leggins and a long shirt and being very happy to lie down again as showering hadn't been that much fun.

Again with the help of Katy Jay put Emilia some clothes on and he was amazed how deep their baby's sleep was as she didn't wake up although Jay had the feeling what he did was quite clumsy. He could handle all kinds of weapons without further thinking about it, could fight against the toughest gangsters of the city, but dressing his tiny daughter for the first time was a complete different challenge.

Before Erin was transfered to another room on the labor & delivery floor, as this room was of course needed for the next expecting couple, Katy took some first family photos of the three of them. They both looked beyond tired and exhausted but at the same time as happy as never before in their lives, still smiling from ear to ear.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

Jay was allowed to spend this first night with his girls as the morning was close anyway. Emilia slept peacefully in her bassinet next to Erin's bed and although Erin's feelings were still all over the place, the exhaustion of the last hours won the fight over her excitement and her eyes have somewhen fell shut while Jay had tickled up and down her arm softly. Jay meanwhile stayed awake, sent some more texts to their friends with the only info that their baby was here now happy and healthy and watched his girls sleeping. In this moment he felt so endlessly blessed, he still failed in finding words to really describe what was going on inside of him. His heart just wanted to jump out of his chest whenever he looked at Erin or their perfect baby girl. He wondered how long it would take until all of this would feel real, because right now he still had the feeling he was caught in the most beautiful dream someone could have.

Emilia's quiet whimpering interrupted the silence in the room and Jay had to smile immediately. This was their life now and it couldn't get any more real. He got up from his chair, leaned over the bassinet and picked her up carefully, placed her against his chest, always holding her neck and head, so he could wrap the cozy blanket loosely around her before sat down again, now holding her in his arm so he could stare at this little bundle of perfection.

″Sssshh, Emmy,″ he whispered, stroking her head and rocking her gently. ″Everything is fine, daddy is here.″ Unfortunately she kept on whimpering quietly but taking a look at Erin, Jay saw that she was still sleeping, her head turned away from him.

″Hey baby girl, you should let your mommy sleep, you took a lot from her today,″ Jay whispered and Emilia stopped whimpering aprubtly, clawed her little fingers into his shirt and stared at him with her big blue eyes as if she was able to understand him. ″You know Emmy,″ he kept on talking as he had the feeling this was what calmed her down, ″you share your birthday with a very, very special woman. She was the most important woman in my life until I met your mommy. Today would be her 60th birthday and I know she would like this kind of birthday present, of sharing her birthday with her granddaughter, very, very much,″ Jay said smilingly and blinked some times to the ceiling to not let the tears fall that welled in his eyes, the tears that came up inevitably by speaking these words out loud.

″Why didn't you tell me that it's your mother's birthday today?″ Erin asked and only now Jay saw that she was staring at him, tears welling in her eyes as well. She tried to remember whether there've been dates on the obituary she'd seen a couple months back, so she should've known that the 1st of February was his mother's birthday, but she was sure she hadn't seen a birth date on it. Or maybe she just hadn't recognized it because his mother's full name had drawn her full attention?

″Why are you awake? We tried to be super quiet.″

″Guess my mom-senses are on now,″ Erin smiled faintly. ″She whimpered once and I was awake but listening to you talking to her is my new favorite thing in the world.″

″Did you hear that Emmy? Mommy is eavesdropping us. We should be really careful when we cast aspersions on her,″ he chuckled.

″Yep, you should,″ Erin grinned. ″And you should stop avoiding answering my questions.″

″Well,″ Jay sighed. ″I never thought about it until you went into labor yesterday.″

″And why didn't you tell me?″ she frowned.

″Because I know you Erin. I know you would've tried to hold it back until after midnight so that it is the same day and I didn't want you to do that. The 31st of January would've been just as fine. That it's the 1st of February now is just a sweet, sweet coincidence.″

″Believe me Jay, when you're in labor and have the feeling the pain is tearing you apart you come to a point where you for sure don't hold anything back anymore,″ she said and gave him a little grin before turning her attention to the baby in his arms, being unable to believe that some short four hours ago she still had been inside of her.

″You remember how I told you she's letting us wait for a reason? Now I can't help but think that it was meant to be like this somehow.″

″It was,″ Erin nodded and when Emilia started to whimper again, Jay handed her the baby and she placed her on her chest, her hand covering Emilia's small head. It only took some seconds and she was all calm again, even seemed to lull away.

″She knows your heartbeat,″ Jay smiled and his heart wanted to explode in his chest by this cute sight, by Emilia resting on Erin's chest, getting kisses from her on the top of her head, her eyes closed and her mouth agape.

″Mhm,″ Erin nodded in response, a smirk surrounding her lips. She had never thought that she could fall in love so fast, so easy. But here she was, being a mother and feeling a love she hasn't known before. She loved Jay and the way she felt for him was unreal but this was a complete different kind of love.

″I love you,″ Jay whispered. ″I love you both so much, it's unreal,″ he smiled and once again Erin got the proof that Jay was able to read her mind.

″And I love you,″ she smiled back. ″Both.″

Jay crashed her lips with an intense kiss and then lay down in the bed right next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder so Erin could rest her head on his chest as always, stroking Emilia's fingers with his other hand. He felt blessed. Blessed beyond limits. Life was beautiful and without a doubt, life had created a beautiful story right there...

Well, Emilia is here now and I hope this chapter met your requirements! :) Please leave a review and tell me what you think. Of course this story is not over yet, there's a lot more to tell but I will get back to a regular weekly updating rhythm now, maybe sometimes a little longer as I have to write my bachelos thesis within the next couple of months. If there's anything special about this little family you want to read about, do not hesitate to tell me! :)