31. Family Fishing Trip

Chapter 31: Family Fishing Trip

I've really been looking forward to this weekend for a while. This is the weekend the Plantar family goes on their annual fishing trip. Sprig's been talking it up for days now. He's got all these stories of how this was his and Hop Pop's time to bond, just on their own.

Of course, things are going to be a bit different this year; for one, this is the first year Polly's old enough to come along. And for another, I'll be coming too! Not for the fishing, though. Oh, don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against fishing. I've even gone fishing with my dad several times. I even have one of those "Fish fear me" hats; not that I've ever caught anything, it just looks good on me.

But for me, this particular trip is an opportunity to do something I've always wanted to, but, growing up with a seriously overprotective mom, was never going to have a chance to… parasailing. Or paragliding. Whatever you call it, I feel the call of the EXTREME!.

Now, they don't exactly have a Sports Overlord here in Wartwood, but lucky for me X-TREEM SPAWRTZ MUNTHLEE (misspelling every word in the title makes it X-TRUH X-TREEM) was one of the magazines I have in my backpack, and that issue had an article about how to build your very own paraglider out of bamboo and canvas (incidentally, that was also the last issue of X-TREEM SPAWRTZ MUNTHLEE because of all the lawsuits). It's easy enough if you follow the instructions and have the right materials on hand.

And, to my surprise most of all, I actually managed to pull it off! This baby's pretty sturdy. It should be able to support my weight. And all the online videos I watched should be more than enough to guide me.

Well, we got one last surprise just before casting off; Hop Pop invited Sylvia on the trip, too! And given how he showed up dressed like the rich guy from Gilligan's Island, I have a feeling it's not so much fish he's interested in catching… if you know what I mean. WINK. I actually am winking, but you can't see it, so I have to write it out.

I just hope Sprig's okay with sharing Hop Pop. I know he was really looking forward to one-on-one time, but the shipper in me says you can't stand in the way of romance.

Okay, here's something I wasn't prepared for. Parasailing is hard.

"The wind does all the work," you say. "You're just along for the ride," you say. Well, here's the kicker; the wind doesn't particularly care whether you live or die. It's gonna be there long after you, so it's not like it's motivated to treat you gently. It could suddenly decide to blow you straight up. Or suddenly send you into the path of a swarm of flies as big as your face. Or stop blowing altogether and send you plummeting to the deck of the boat. On the other hand, the constant risk of death sure does get the blood pumping! Or maybe that's a fear-induced heart attack.

Nope. Still alive for now.

Of course I'm not always occupied with absolute fear for my continued existence, so, once in a bit, I had time to pay attention to what was going on back on the boat. And from what I could see, Sprig was definitely getting the short end of the stick in regards to Hop Pop Time, I was going to give him what little advice I could before the wind yanked me away again, but [voice of X-TREEM SPAWRTZ AWNLAIN host Jacques Duval] ze wind, she eez relentless, like a lovair, she craves ze attention.

While I was up there, it was getting much harder to keep track of what was going on down below, but from what I could piece together, Sprig was trying to find ways to sabotage Hop Pop and Sylvia's time together, but everything he tried just made the mood more romantic.

The next time I crashed, I told Sprig to just let it go. Fate clearly was shipping HP and Sylvia as much as I was. He was better off just trying to have fun instead of obsessing over what was missing.

I didn't get to see what happened afterward. Too busy getting bumped around by a seemingly endless swarm of stinkbugs. By the time I came in for another perfect landing, things had gone completely crazy. I heard Sylvia screaming off in the distance, and HP and Sprig were running around in a panic, because -and this is what happens when I'm not around to steer the plot! – Sprig sent her off on a wild goose chase to some tiny island to pick up Hop Pop's favorite flowers (which can't be right because I'm pretty sure daffodils aren't blue). I'm not one to make a moral judgment, but that was not cool.

So Sprig had a LOT to make up for, like, a lot… because that was no island. That was a giant crab. Just the sight of that thing filled me with visions of impending doom… and also melted butter and Old Bay. Like, yeah, it could have killed us, but if it didn't, we were gonna eat like kings!

But first things first, we had to rescue Sylvia. Someone had to fly over there. I'd been preparing all day for this moment… and then Sprig grabbed my glider. And was instantly better than me. How was that fair? Was it the weight difference? Were frogs just more aerodynamic? Was that it?

Anyway, Sprig was able to grab Sylvia before the boat got wrecked, but not before I got to see Sylvia strike a blow that hit that giant enemy crab's weakest point for massive damage.

Hop Pop is a lucky frog.

So, the sad news is we lost the crab. I was really looking forward to some big meaty claws. But it wasn't a total loss. Sprig has accepted Sylvia as a part of Hop Pop's life, and isn't that what matters?

Nothing left to do now but enjoy some leisurely fishing… not like I have much else to do now that Polly stole my glider.

Seriously, how is everyone better at this than me?

A.N.: Another episode where Anne has very little to do with the plot (besides her glider being needed for the climax), but we're at the point where the other characters are strong enough to carry a story without her.

Jose: Probably the case.

Next: Bizarre Bazaar. Suddenly, the plot!