45. Truck Stop Polly

Chapter 45: Truck Stop Polly

After we got out of that creepy forest, it wasn't long before we hit a small town where we could restock… which basically meant we bought a ton of mushroom bars because they were on sale.

And then, it was on to another creepy forest. It's like Amphibia runs on creep.

You would think a road trip would be exciting, but the movies always leave out the long, mind-numbing stretches of monotony between the chases and the set-pieces. There are hours and hours at a time when nothing happens, you just creep forward slowly with nothing to do but watch the unsettling scenery go by.

The long hours have been taking their toll on us, but especially on Polly. Being cooped up inside the Fwagon with us has given her a ton of pent-up energy, and she's been using it to find new ways of being annoying. Earlier today, while Sprig and I were on our shift driving, she was getting all up in our faces trying to get us to read her a story, and she wasn't taking no for an answer. I would have been okay with letting Sprig take a break to handle it, but we were on a particularly twisty path and I needed him to be my navigator. This didn't seem to get through to Polly, who kept shoving Fergus Frog Finds a Friend (there's a title I won't ever forget because it was pressed in my face so many times) between Sprig and the map, which not only made Sprig lose the map, but distracted me enough to lose control of Bessie and hit the rough.

Worse, Hop Pop blamed us for it (and ruining his nap), so he stuck us on inventory duty instead. You'd think that would be the end of it, but Polly immediately decided that it was bathtime. Anyone who knows Polly knows there's a reason why we always bathe her outdoors. She's a splasher. In the sense that whales are splashers. Somehow, when she jumped into a tub of soapy water that she just happened to have available, the resulting splash managed to be bigger than the actual amount of water in the tub to start with. Yes, Polly has managed to make herself so annoying that she broke the law of conservation of matter. Hey, I actually remembered some science!

Anyway, the big splash drenched the entire interior of the cabin, and dissolved a lot of our new provisions, including all those mushroom bars I mentioned earlier. And you'd think that would be the end of it, but no. Polly decided that now was the perfect time to play Zap Tag.

Zap Tag was a game Polly invented when she realized that I'm not equipped for tongue tag. The idea is we charge ourselves up with static electricity on the rug, then chase each other until someone gets shocked. It's actually pretty fun, but not while everything is wet. Result: everyone gets electrocuted, including HP, who came in to check on us. At least my phone's supercharged again.

So, it's been one lonnnnng night. The good news is there's a rest stop coming up, which is convenient because I think all of us are pretty much on our last nerve.

My dad's notorious for never, ever stopping during roadtrips, but, every once in a while, there's just no choice.

This one time, on the way to Colorado, we stopped at one of those classic truck stops you always see in he movies, full of big gruff truckers and sassy waitresses.

It doesn't seem much different here. The trucks are all pulled by bugs and instead of gas, the tanks are full of some orange goop that's probably some kind of high-density nutrient sludge, but otherwise, yep, big gruff truckers, sassy waitresses, and thankfully, BATHROOMS!

HP just want to clean up and go, so we're not stopping for breakfast, but he did send me to pick up some coffee for him… at least I think it's coffee. It's dark brown and hot, and it definitely wakes you up. Mom never let me have coffee because it makes me all jittery and hyper, but I gave this stuff a try and whoa mama, it's like thunder in a cup. I'll probably be awake all the way to Newtopia.

By the time we actually got the Fwagon cleaned up, Polly was completely tuckered out, so we decided to let her sleep. It's probably safer that way.

Hmm… come to think of it, she's been a lot better behaved ever since we got to the truck stop. Maybe she was able to get it all out of her system? Whatever it is, maybe she's earned herself a little storytime.

Okay, so, turns out that wasn't Polly. Somehow, we accidentally got her mixed up with a purple rock that was exactly the same size, shape, and weight. And wearing her bow and sleep mask.

Did she leave us this rock on purpose as some sort of weird prank? Well, it worked, because we left her behind at the truck stop! Which would have been bad enough, but then things got even worse… because that rock wasn't a rock at all, but an egg… which chose that moment to hatch!

[drawing of giant bird]

THIS THING WAS ALMOST AS BIG AS THE FWAGON. HOW THE HECK DID IT FIT INTO AN EGG THAT SIZE?

We were looking in pretty bad shape, when seemingly out of nowhere Polly flew in, all charged up with electricity, and zap-tagged the sucker with enough juice that you could have served it with stuffing and gravy. At that point, it decided it didn't want anything more to do with us and flew away to bother someone a little less electric.

Clearly we had missed a lot.

So… it turns out Polly may have overheard the three of us complaining about her behavior… and that HP had been considering leaving her behind with Mrs. Croaker. And she got upset enough that decided to prank us with the rock/giant killer bird egg (to be fair, she didn't know it was a giant killer bird egg until a lot later, but by that time we were gone), only she pranked us a little too well and got left behind. When she found out the rock was actually an egg, she got Soggy Joe (who I guess is also a trucker now?) to catch up to us and you know the rest.

Well, after that, the Fwagon is in no shape to travel, so Soggy Joe's giving us a tow back to next rest stop for repairs. At least none of us have to drive for a while, so we won't be as on edge.

Polly seems to have learned her lesson at least. And with all this time off, I have a chance to read Fergus Frog Finds a Friend, which it turns out is actually a compelling tale of loss and vengeance.

Childrens' lit goes hard in Amphibia.

A.N.: Another short chapter, and so are the next couple. There's this whole stretch in the middle of the road trip arc where Anne barely figures in the story, so she doesn't have much to say (and then there's "Toadcatcher", which she has nothing at all to do with, but I have something for that, which you'll see soon!)

MarMarFaAnne: Could be, but she didn't seem to know what it was at all until Halucination!Sprig told her about it. As for what Sasha's into, I could see her not being terribly into anime, but having a vague familiarity with it thanks to being around Anne and Marcy. We know she does like Suspicion Island, though I headcanon that she's been hatewatching for the last couple of seasons. I also headcanon that she's the one who got Anne into Printhistle Manor and other period dramas like that.

Snake screamer: Don't worry about it.

Jose: It seems like all you really have to do is get the animal's attention.

Next: A Caravan Named Desire