14. Denial and Anger

"Y/n, be rational."

"Fuck rational Jess!" You were pacing your room as you searched for your suitcase you swore you brought back up there.

"You can't just leave."

"Found it!" You grinned crazily as you pulled out your travel luggage from under your bed.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" Jess sighed as she heard you laughing almost manically.

"Mm such a shame. Maybe you should get an IPhone and then you would be able to see what I am doing." You stuck your tongue out in the direction of your phone.

"Don't be bratty with me, you're the one who called."

"Because I need you to clear my old room back out because there is no way in hell that I'm staying here in Paris with my bitchy sister, the lying love of my life, and pushy fucking Luka!" You screamed and realized there were tears streaming down your face.

"Y/n, we're housing another exchange student. I told you this." Her voice was soft because she knew how fragile you must've been.

You felt your legs weaken from under you.

"Are you okay?" Jess asked and you were now on the floor with your back pressed against your bed frame.

"Yeah. You already told me there was someone new, I don't know why I thought they'd be gone." You spoke with half of a laugh and covered your face with your hands.

"Things will get better Y/n, they always do. You just have to stick it through or else you'll miss every good thing that'll come your way."

"I promise I'll try Jess, but if things don't improve than you better kick that other student out." She laughed at your response.

"The couch is always open hun." You could tell that she was grinning which made you laugh softly.

"Go to bed now, and put your clothes back in your closet."

"Okay mom." You spoke sarcastically.

"I'm serious Y/n."

"Jess." Your voice was shaky as you felt a sudden tightness rush your chest.

"What's wrong Y/n?" She sounded frantic.

"I just..." you took in a deep breath, "There's so many secrets around me...everyone is hiding something and it's become so much that it feels...!" You choked out a sob as your body shook, and she made a shushing noise almost as if she was trying to calm a crying baby.

Your hands shook rapidly and you were amazed that you could even keep a grip on your phone. Your room around you felt like it was spinning and you quickly felt yourself loosing control of your breathing.

"Y/n, you need to try and breath, take a deep breath in," She spoke and you listened to her as well as you could, "And out." Again, you obliged, feeling self aware once more.

"Tell me five things in your room." Her voice was firm.

"Um...I...my book, my shoes I made with Zoe, my map, my clothes in the corner I've yet to donate, and I have a my keyboard." You told her and felt your breathing begin to steady.

"That's part of a grounding technique I use when I experience any sort of anxiety or panic attack like you just did. For me it works well with both. Are you feeling better?" Jess asked with a hopeful tone.

"Yes." You spoke breathily.

"Good. Go downstairs and get some water and try and get some sleep. If you can't, listen to some relaxing music and take a nice bath." Her voice was demanding but it was just as caring as she had always been.

"I will Jess, thank you, for everything." You wiped away a stray tear and she hummed softly.

"Always Y/n."

"I'm such an idiot." Adrien leaped from roof to roof. "I can't believe it." He continued to grumble to himself as your house entered his line of vision.

"I need to explain." He continue to talk to himself. It had taken Adrien hours to work up the courage to come face you. He had already been ashamed for allowing himself to get so carried away with you as Chat Noir...now he hasn't only betrayed Ladybug, but you as well.

He leaped towards your window and extended his stick to the ground so he could hang to it. The window was shut so he couldn't barrel in like he usually would. Shakily, he reached for your window and tried to pry it open, but

You locked him out.

Adrien let go of your window, feeling completely defeated. He tried to peer in and see if you were in there, but the room was completely dark.

Tears filled his eyes as he went home for the night.

**

You woke up before the sun.

You sat up groggily and reached for your face, feeling your puffy eyes. You managed to pull yourself out of bed and you walked over towards your window. You unlocked and opened it, sticking your head out to feel the morning autumn breeze.

"I wonder if he came." You spoke softly to yourself. You fell asleep before it was even nine p.m. so you locked your window before you went to bed.

You pulled out your phone as pressed your back against the wall. You opened it with a sigh once you saw the time flash back at you.

**

"Adrien?" Marinette dropped the pastry she was about to package as she saw the blonde enter their bakery.

"Marinette!" Her mother hissed as she pointed to the floor where the baked good now was. Marinette bowed her head apologetically and turned frantically to pick up the pastry.

"Hey sorry to bother you guys." Adrien spoke with a small laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn't expecting to see you down here, but he knew it would've been easier if you just had been.

"Oh it's no bother at all! I love you- I mean! We love having you and any other valued guest in our bakery!" Marinette tried to fix herself but she ended up screaming, earning concerned glances from her parents.

Adrien stood back a bit with wide eyes, "Ah...okay! Is Y/n here?" He asked as he began to run his thumb over his fingers nervously.

"Y/n...?" Marinette's voice dropped and her eyes grew wide.