forgiveness and grief

After Sonu and Niru came back hand in hand while giggling and chatting happily they saw a very tired Rani sitting on the chair while Bani with the whole energy bursting from her was trying to drag Rani while Rani stubbornly held onto the table."oye! lizard! please just one more time! "

"you stupid cockroach! leave me alone! I am going to die if I dance one more time with these heels!"Sonu and Niru were dumbfounded at the small quarrel yet the near people were laughing and enjoying the little bickering.


"as if that's really going to happen, you're a stubborn mule you can't die just because you danced! "

"youuuuu!"

Rani's face was red but it was hard to say from what anger? , tired? or gripping something with full strength whatever the reason but she looked adorable and cute beyond words.before they could argue more Sonu interfered.


"leave her alone! I will dance with you! either way I haven't danced yet! "

Niru felt a little disappointed she also wanted to dance but it looks like she will have to wait *sigh well at least Sonu gets to have a little fun she thought and felt cheerful again.

"ok then! let's go this lizard is of no use "


Rani scoffed "useless mule shouldn't talk like that!"


before she could even complete it Sonu grabbed Bani and they both took off laughing leaving behind the angry Rani with a stunned princess.


"umm...hey let's stand on the balcony to get some fresh air what do you say?"

"oh my! anything to get out of here! I can't stand that stupid mule anymore! look so shameless still taunting me! "Bani was sticking her tongue out while dancing even when Sonu tried her best to led her further or to change her line of sight making Niru laugh.

"ptffff.... indeed it looks like this neck name is suitable for her."

"now my lady will you?"Niru extended her hand gently in front of Rani , Rani smiled holding the hand getting up to her feet. they walked between the crowd to the opposite of the hall as they entered through a door cool night air hit their faces making them feel alive."whoa! finally! it's so stuffy inside..."

Niru walked behind Rani and stood to her left looking at Rani with a little puzzled expression "what does stuffy mean?" Rani didn't look at Niru closing her eyes enjoying the feels of clear and cool air making her short hair flow back the itching from the jewellery and big dress fading a little she hummed in content "it means it was crowded"

Niru stared at her giving a light hmm in response as she turned her head towards the front where green forest was up to many kilometres yet after that the city light's or more like the magic lamp kept of the green part glowed with red , blue , purple, yellow colour creating a beutiful sight as if amid the green forest small faries or soul orbs glowing.

"Niru can I ask you something?" she whispered softly "ask already don't just give me anticipation like this I don't like to beat around the bush..." although she said it in a gentle tone her noble and commanding aura made it appear more like a command to which Rani complied quietly. "in our history books there were always have been fights for throne and power is it the same here ? "


Niru smiled lightly yet the light in her eyes dimmed "would even believe if I said no?"
Rani laughed "well I certainly won't.." Niru gave her a quite smile turning her head to look at the star covering the whole sky yet there was no moon it was the middle of every month the both the moon will be dispersed for a whole night but the sky was filled with innumerable star's along with the small beautiful orbs glowing reflecting a noble and graceful face the thick eyebrow, sharp nose , dusky skin glowing the small on the little pink lips she really did appear like a prince in fairytale but...why does her eyes look as if they lost the light missing something important...


it was a Breezer feeling she couldn't point it out but Rani has always been right about her gut feelings so she tried to approach in a respectful manner "can you please tell me what happened? " Niru was caught off-guard blinking she stared at Rani *am I so bad at pretending?

"well are you talking about the palace fight? there is nothing much but since you asked i will tell you but let's drink something cold first" saying this the princess lifted her forefinger a light flickered and two glass appeared Rani extended her left hand and held the glass it was filled with red liquid making Rani a little worried about it being alcohol as she started to stare at it she heard Niru chuckle "your left handed aren't you?"

Rani looked at her with a smile which felt like she wanted to hide in embarrassment after all from a very small age no matter where she was she would be scolded for it not because she necessarily needed to be right handed but because that they only wanted her to not eat her food from that hand and surprisingly she did learn to eat from right hand yet other important stuff were always done by her left hand.

"well yes... you are quite observant...(⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠)(⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)"

at her reaction Niru laughed hard "hahaha..oh! please don't mind me I just had someone who was as well left handed that's why I noticed..." at the end of the sentence her voice gradually softened tender , indeed that person might be someone special to her her eyes are hopeful and her face softened as if remembering the memory.

"what do you mean by had?"

*sigh it was a cousin sister she was killed when others royal relatives tried to murder me she protected me with her own life"

Niru took a deep breath as she continued in a whisper "until this day I still think maybe I was the reason if it weren't for me it would have never happened"

for a second a light sparkle went through Rani's eyes looking at the face of a person grieving the death of their beloved blaming it on themselves as if they are responsible for it it was so familiar.

"well my mother and father divorced before I was born my mother was already pregnant from one month during that my father divorced because he doesn't like how my mother was an independent strong character he wanted a housewife he also wanted a son but they tried yet my mother really wasn't able to conceive so he thought my mother is infertile hence leading to divorce" Rani was gentle at first but when ever she talked about her father a small suppressed angre could be seen "my mother and that old dude were in arrange marriage made by my grandfather who was the only family left and had cancer he never wanted to leave my mother alone so he married her to that old hag and my mother obediently did as grandfather said huh"

"they had a lot of property so that old hag must have probably thought that he could get it..so agreed but things didn't work out all the heritage was signed to her name..."

"how are you sure that he was after money?"

"he came to take my custody after my mother passed away but soon realised that my mother will be that no guardian will have any right over the property it all will be given to me when I turn 18 until then no right for me as well "

"I guess then there was no way you would have given up your right so he probably never took you in?"

"yes... sigh i still remember that day we were in the car taking that car as a riding carriage in your term"


"I know what a car is it's a transportation device which also causes harm to nature didn't I tell you we had a lot of human visitors "


Rani chuckled at her small pouting"hmm.. that day was my 5th birthday my mother was driving me home from school I was annoying her with an request to go see my father because that day many students were talking how my dad never comes to school to meet me while their do and play with them bunch of garbage.."


Niru was surprised to see Rani talk in offensive language it was making her smile silently "*sigh growing up I heard a lot of that garbage about father love etc.. that day I wanted to meet that old hag I pestered my mother while she was driving and her phone was ringing constantly too suddenly....a truck came in front from the other side crashing straight into us and... everything went black after that I heard my mother shout my name last time..."


Niru's smile faded away with the story as she felt her throat tighten "do you blame yourself..?"

"if I said no... would you believe it?"

Niru looked at Rani who was staring ahead not meeting her eyes "i thought you all are real sisters"

"us? well even if we all are not blood related we are family and yes we all are orphans i thought you already knew it?"

Niru shrugged "you all never said anything about it beside you all act like real sisters"

"hahaha... sounds right my fault now you know too phew..i am grateful that the old hag didn't take me...i got a family love at last but it looks like everything comes to an end.."

end ? yes that's right...it all soon will come to an end they all will leave tomorrow or maybe the day after she is going to be all alone again..locked in those palace wall but... it's not that painful to think now the walls won't feel so lonely anymore she got their memories the time they shared i feel greatful for it...

she raised her head giving Rani a small "what happened we can't change it nor it's going to be any good if we keep blaming it on ourselves but why is it so easy to forgive others but not ourselves? "


"because maybe we think we don't deserve redemption? we think we don't deserve the best ? "

Niru nodded in agreement as they both stared in silence a small smile on their lips two small girls talking about life and all seems silly but that doesn't mean whatever they are thinking is false their feelings are real and they need to accept it.the silence was comfortable yet gloomy but also held an longing?


suddenly they heard a cheerful voice penetrating the silence "hey! let's go it's the last dance! "

with a grin on face Sonu asked them they turned their head seeing the three stand there, Teja with her aloof smile, Bani with her savage smirk , and Sonu with the brightest excited yet mischievous smile making them smile unknowingly.

yup this was what they were longing for...

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[ lately I've been thinking I want to see you happier I want to see you happier even though I might not like it I want you to be happier I want to see you happier then only for a moment I want change my mind because this is don't feel right to me I want to see you smile and i know that I'll have to leave]

song - happier

[ singer - marshmellow]

it's not right that you think you don't deserve amazing think that your not cool enough, smart enough, strong enough, beutiful enough if your not then your not that's ok but just because of these things if you think that you don't deserve all those good things your wrong every living being deserves it.. including you don't be hard on your self instead treat yourself like you treat others if you like to help people and encourage people then first make sure you do that for yourself first this living body and mind has needs for kindness for gratitude for help for encouragement for peace for happiness for love... don't just think that you will get it in return if you give this things because you have to make yourself the 1st priority and don't feel bad about it ... forgive your past mistakes they are the reason what you are today you have experience now...use it