Traps and Runs

"Guys, it really hurts. Can someone have a look at it?"

"Fuck off, Private. Nobody here wants to look at your dick"

"But it really hurts and looks swollen"

"That's your fault for not wearing a condom dumbass."

"I had all my checks and I was fine. It all started here, after I took a piss in river while crossing it."

"WHAT?!!! Your degenerate have your forgotten survival course lectures about parasites and bugs? Congratulations, you Private probably got a fucking parasite....."

Quite informational chat isn't it? Well, here in jungle everything can lead to your death. Dirty water, bugs, parasites, food, cartels and rebels. Feels like everything here wants to kill uninvited guests like us. Great for practical survival exam.

So my team got paradropped here with a task to destroy and rob one of cartel labs in designated area. First thing we must do is to find a lab since we have been provided only a hint of where it can be rather than exact location. My team has already spent few days circling around trying to find any leads or signs that can help us. Those were really some horrible days, mosquitos treating us like walking buffet and trying to suck us dry. Repellent and closed suits don't help us much so most of us look like teenage greens with red spots all over our bodies. The only way out is to use smoke but bonfire is a big risk since it can draw unwanted attention.

To make it worse we had MRE and other supplies only for few days and yesterday we run out of them. So today we are fasting and having IV bag with nutrients for breakfast-lunch-supper. Thanks for previous training it doesn't feel so bad but damn after having proper food going back to this IV diet feels annoying and irritating.

Ah, I have forgot to introduce my teammates. Here they are, Skipper, Rico, Kowalski, Private, Johnson and me, Manfredi. Yeah, again no real names just nicknames and thanks to humour of our instructors we got names from famous Madagascar penguins. If initially they didn't really know a reason for such names and why I laughed so badly but after showing this old cartoon they really got pissed. However, after I realised what name I got myself I also got quite angry, since I remember that Manfredi and Johnson got always into some nasty shit and used as examples for newbie Private.

Except for Private, names of other team members didn't really fit with the personality so I guess I will be safe...at least I hope so.

Today we have finally found one of the roads used by cartel's errand boys. So we wanted to ambush them but there was a catch, those maggots had health monitors with encryption system. Distance hacking is not an option need to get close and personal. Fuck, we can't use guns or hack them without triggering alarm. Need to come up with something.

That moment I saw Private doing Magic Mike level of stretching and had weird idea.

"Private, do you trust me?"

"Yeaah?"

"Good. I have a plan."

Few hours later cartel jeep was passing down the road, cartel boys were joking and chatting but then they saw a half naked tranny walking near the road.

(A.N - guys I don't know spanish so let's pretend they speak in spanish)

"Jorge, look at that whore!!! God, I want it! Pull over!!" - one of cartel boys shouted pointing at tranny.

"Pablo! I am going first! I like when it is still tight and good!"

"Idiots don't you think it is weird to see that in the middle of nowhere?"

"Garcia shut up, you just don't know how often our boss throws out whore out of his car. This is not the first time we see something like this. Last week I had to use shovel to pick up a dead whore he sent flying from his flat. So just shut up and let us have some fun for free. Meat back at camp charge us for each dive while this one is free."

Jeep stopped next to tranny and horny dogs started encircling tranny.

"God, she is ugly but just look at that ass!"

"Still better than than your slutty girlfriend."

"I don't have a girlfriend."

"Yeah? Then what about your right hand? I have to say she is quite a slut..."

When they finally encircled a tranny and one of them leaped on her taking her down. But instead of surrendering tranny started fighting back. 3vs1 not the best situation although things changed very quickly. Few zapping sounds and one high pitch scream, 3vs1 changed into 3vs6 with three cartel errand boys knocked out. Taser and good kick in a balls all you need to capture enemy alive.

"Manfredi, I hate you. I really got scared for my ass."

"Haha, Private now at least you know that you can work as a stripper or find a place on jig-jig street. Man, I almost burst laughing when I heard those morons complementing your ass."

"Fuck that. That bastard even tried to kiss me after piling on me. I need a damn shower."

"Go and check jeep, they must have some containers with water. Also get dressed you whore and stop provoking others, you slut."

Private just showed me middle finger which caused even more laughter from team mates. Now, it is time for a little bit of interrogation. After hacking health monitors rough interrogation started. Beating, cauterising, breaking bones, everything that makes people speak. By the end of field interrogation we got all the necessary info and killed them.

Now we know where our target lab is as well as number of guards and traps. Most importantly we got info about patrol times and gaps in security. Well, time to unleash our anger.

We got into a jeep and started moving towards a base. Plan is the following. Jeep get's rammed into a main gate. Bodies of errand boys will hide demolition charges and gas grenades. When security forces will get closer to investigate what happened we initiate charges killing them and causing havoc. While enemies try to get back to their senses our team will attack them from another side. Then we divide into 2 groups, one group will go and destroy lab while another one will rob and destroy drug cache.

"Rico, Skipper report." - I whispered into a com.

"I see three auto turrets and five targets." - Rico reported preparing small grenade launcher.

"My scanner shows four lab rats and only one of them got a handgun." - Skipper replied.

"Start on three. Targets allocated, priority on killing everyone as fast as possible. Destruction is secondary."

We have heard a big explosion at main gates. Now, let's enemies gather together. Lab guards and chemists started to panic, running like headless chickens towards an exit. Tightly packet target, perfect.

"Three!" - I shouted and shot from disposable one-shot EMP grenade launcher. This turned off cheap auto turrets and distorted enemy communications. This was followed with two standard grenades. A lot of people got killed and turrets also had some damage. Without wasting much time we stormed in.

Rico then run towards auto turrets preparing to hack them while I and Skipper continued killing all survivors. After that we started taking out special incendiary charges. We didn't want to just destroy the building like in standard search and destroy mission. Instead we adapted cartel tactic, turning whole lab into dead man land. This is achieved by placing incendiary charges and opening tanks filled with chemicals. Fire causes a lot of damage while chemicals poison the land. Cartel uses such tactics against each other as they cause more damage and hamper drug production. We used this tactic as to draw anger of lab owners to another cartel. This will give us some time to get the hell out of here.

I heard two clicking sounds which meant that another group will start retreating in two minutes. Shit, need to hurry up.

"Rico, Skipper! Gas! Gas!" - I warned others and put on a gas mask. Then I have ran towards large tanks filled with chemicals. Playing with control panel I made sure that within a minute valves will open and chemicals will flood everything.

"All charges ready! Turrets will go berserk after we leave" - I heard short reports from Skipper and Rico. Just in time boys.

"Gather near the exit, then we start retreating." - I ordered them speeding up since timer shower less than a minute remaining.

Finally, we have regrouped near the exit and started getting the hell out of here. Now we just need to make it rendezvous point and just survive in dark jungle while being hunted down.