Fears within. Part 1

A.N Hey guys I have tried to write to this chapters long time ago but sickness made me drop it one moment. So in case you can just skip this and following chapter.

Our return back to NUSA has been quite smooth. According to instructors they have received a call from one of the border checkpoints telling them to pick us up and better hurry. Quick response team picked us up just few hours before cartel boys have arrived at a check point. So we have saved our asses while the rest of team.....they got lucky that they died during chase and none of them got captured alive. Thanks to "educational" videos about tortures we may face if end up captured have showed us what to expect and to be honest it is quite scary.

Anyway, me and my boys made it back and passed survival course. According to instructors it is common that a lot of trainees fail due to greed and unnecessary stubbornness. Desire to make extra cash usually leads to death or capture and death in the end. In this training there is no A* or F grades, you either make it back alive or die. Moreover, drugs are just a bait to filter off extremely greedy and unreliable ones since none of team encumbered with drugs make it back. Only pragmatic and realistic trainees pass this training. Otherwise, you will never reach true elite level as sooner or later greed and thirst of money will lead to death.

Now it is time for final training. After that we will just hone our skills. But, oh dear god, this training really was one of the hardest ones since you have to fight with one of the scariest enemies, yourself.

"Today we will put you into controlled coma and start scanning your brains. We will stimulate areas responsible for fear and anxiety as well as long term memory parts. We will uncover the most unpleasant and painful experiences in your life. Your task is to go through them and fight them. If you succeed, your mind will become impenetrable fortress and able to resist fear." - instructor explained us aim of this training and nodded to technicians to begin.

Shit. That was my last thought.

*Flashbacks to memories*

"You have a great responsibility towards your family and me." - grandpa says looking straight into my eyes.

I am sitting next to him in small cabinet in family mansion. Everything looks like back in time. Persian carpet on a floor. A lot of bookshelf. Portraits of great ancestors. Large wooden table. Yeah, just like back in time.

"We have achieved great heights but out of all other branches we are a major one. Failure is unacceptable. Weakness is unacceptable. Hesitation is unacceptable. Do you understand that?" - grandpa keeps talking. This is our first serious talk. and start of my personal hell.

"From tomorrow you will join martial arts section and start personal tutoring. I expect you only perfect results from you. Remember, you have a duty towards your family and our future. Your brothers and sisters reek of weakness and you are the only one who has nature of predator. Don't let me down otherwise great history of our family and bloodline will perish." - he finished speaking and send me off.

After that talk 6 year old boy started his rat race. Bruises and broken bones. Emotional break downs. Blood, sweat and tears. Yes, in such specific order. No matter how tired or injured I was in my youth I had to complete task first only then I was allowed to cry. If I start crying before then I get scolded and punished.

The worst thing was that my parents were also part of it. In the beginning it was not that bad but close to my teenager years things started to become worse. Affinity and love changed to fear and distance due to them playing big part of my tutor-torture life. Constant demands, orders and scolding with punishment.

"How could you shame your family with such results?!!!! First in exam but two points away from full marks." - parents echoing voices.

"But I am still first..." - my voice trembling close to crying out loud.

"That is not good enough. Have you forgotten about your duty and responsibility?!!" - and sound of a slap.

Yeah, never good enough for you. Back in a days I always looked at them as if they are best of the best. Smartest, wisest, strongest. Bullshit. Later on I realised how weak and useless they were in the eyes of my grandfather. They disappointed grandpa so much with as he described it as, just above mediocre, just above shit. He was right, without him they only could maintain empire and never able to expand it further. Too weak, too soft. They lacked fangs and claws. Yes, I now I remember when exactly I realised that.

"So, Michel, you betrayed our trust and started playing your games with government." - grandpa speaks in a small auditorium filled with family members. Everyone is scared and try to avoid his gaze, except one person, me. I am too used to that now.

"We have lost oil rig, refinery plant and a lot of land. Thanks to you. Tell me what have they promised to you?" - grandpa keeps talking, explaining whole situation to the rest of family members.

Michel, standing on his knees with hands tied behind his back couldn't mutter a word. He keeps looking around trying to find someone. His wife and kids. Just wait a little, they will be here.

"Hmm, let me guess, they will help you to get into my position and so on, right?" - grandpa makes a sign and a projector start working.

"Let, me show you what happened to your so called aides. It took me a while and some effort but for you I am ready to go for such lengths. I hope you enjoy a short movie."

On screen there are news about one politician getting killed while drunk driving. Another politician and his whole family burned down in their house due to gas explosion. And another politician getting caught having sex with underage. All of them were supporting and helping Michel but now they are dead or just walking dead. News keep changing showing how all his supporters get killed, badly injured or suffer from political suicide.

"Wonderful isn't it. All those leeches and whores end up the way they should. Although, I am still unsatisfied with that. Wound within my heart from your betrayal still aches and needs more medication. So that's why I have brought you here and your dear ones." - grandpa love such theatrical things. Especially due to them instilling such fear that family members cannot even speak from unmeasurable terror in their hearts.

Servants bring in a women and two girls. Michel starts swearing and screaming. But this doesn't last long. He starts begging and asking for mercy. Fool, everything has been decided long time before this show.

"Michel, enough. You know that there is no other punishment for you other than death. However, just your death will not be enough. Your family will also pay the price. Your wife and kids will be no longer under protection of our family. Moreover they will be publicly denounced of any connection with us." -hmm seems grandpa starts to become soft.

Why? Well, because back in a days he would make them pay price by blood. Now, Michel's wife and kids will just have a rough life without protection of our family and our wealth. Limited career options and discrimination just minor issues. Enemies of Michel may use this opportunity and have some sort of payback on him. Although it will not affect Michel since he will be dead but enemies may do that to satisfy their thirst for revenge. Still, they are alive. Yeah, grandpa starts to become soft and sensitive.

"Now, it is time for your punishment. So who will do that?" - grandpa starts looking for "volunteers".

Nobody, even my parents lack determination to do that. Toothless and weak, too used to fighting and making others bleed by someone else. Prey, just bunch of prey. Cattle for slaughter. I just smirked at their reaction. And those people I considered strong and powerful.

I step out of a crowd. Take out a knife and get closer to Michel. Kick him so he was facing his wife and kids. I grab him by his hair and point him with knife to them. I put my knife next to his throat.

But my hands trembles, this is first time I am killing human. It is scaring. However, my fear towards failing my duty is greater than this.

So I just slit his throat while holding his head by his hair. Last thing he will see is his family and their faces full of fear and terror.

"At least someone is worthy enough to lead you bunch of useless sheep. Now, everyone leave. I hope you remember this lesson. Markus stay behind." - grandpa clapped showing everyone to disperse.

Finally it only two of us left.

"Are you getting too old and soft? Why did you let them go? Usually you will go for full purge." - I asked.

"Haha, keep dreaming. I just hope that at least one of those bitches will be brave enough to avenge their cocksucking father."

"Why? Too many problems in long run and too many ifs."

"So you had some rivals and enemies, otherwise you will become too docile. Predator remains predator as long as his fangs are sharp. And the best way for that are a other predators to fight."

"Then why I will not fight you?"

"Hah, cause you are too scared of me."

His answer made me shiver. Yes, I am just a cannon fodder for such beast like him.