86. Chapter 86

After 3XK, Again

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: No, nay, never! No, nay, never, no more! Rating: K Time: See above

Author's note: Yes, this is the second After…I've written for 3XK.

Kate Beckett had found a coffee machine in the motel's office. She suspected that it would be as bad as the coffee from the precinct's old coffee machine, or worse, if that was possible, but Castle needed some now. She turned around to find Esposito standing there glaring at her.

"What the hell is going on, Beckett?" He snapped.

She frowned at Espo. What the hell was going on? She thought. "I'm getting a cup of coffee for Castle. He's had a bad time. Is that some sort of a problem?" What the hell was wrong with Esposito? He had been a little distant with Castle since he'd come back. Had she missed something?

"It's not about the coffee, Beckett. It's about what you did tonight."

"What I did tonight? Espo, will you please tell me what you're talking about? You're not making any sense and I really don't need this right now."

"We had a situation. We had two possible hostages and a killer to worry about. And what did you do? You went all cowboy on me. You charged up the stairs as fast as you could, ahead of me, kicked open the door and screamed Castle's name. Now was that correct tactical procedure for breaching a room in a possible hostage situation?"

Kate was angry. She put the coffee cup down for fear she'd be so angry that she'd crush the cardboard cup. "What hostage situation? Do you think Jerry Tyson is so stupid that he'd stay one second longer than he had to? He's long gone and we both know it."

"We both know it now, but not when you went up the stairs." Esposito shot back. "And we know Tyson works with partners. There could have been someone in there with Castle and Ryan. You would have made a perfect target, and even if you didn't, Castle and Ryan would have ended up in the middle of a gun battle with me coming in in the middle of it."

"If you're that unhappy with the way I handled myself Epsosito, then put it in your report." Kate said angrily and started to walk by him. But Esposito moved to block her.

"My point is that when you kicked the door in, you screamed out Castle's name. And you were terrified that you'd find him dead. You have feelings for him."

"Espo…" She began.

He held up his hands to stop her. "Hear me out. I told you when you were with Demming that Castle is not here to gather material for his books. He could fill a library with what he has now. Okay, I'll admit that maybe Castle gets off a little on being a detective. He doesn't have a badge, or a gun, but he's a detective. But if you weren't here, he'd be gone. Long gone."

"Espo, he has a girlfriend, remember?"

He nodded. "Sure. He got together with his ex when you got together with Demming. And then when he got with his ex, you got together with Josh. All very symmetrical. But that doesn't change the fact that he is here for you and for you alone. You may not realize it, or you don't want to know it, but if I had to guess, I'd say you do know how he feels. And you feel something back for him."

Kate shook her head determinedly. "Espo, you are so full of shit. There's nothing between Castle and me. There never has been and there never will be." She again tried to get past Esposito.

"Then you ought to tell him that."

"What?" Kate stopped and looked at Espo. "Tell him what?"

Esposito shrugged. "Simple. Tell him that there is not now, and there never will be, anything between you two. If he's here for background for his stories, or to be a good citizen and help out law enforcement, it won't make any difference. But if he is just here for you, then he should know that and act accordingly."

"Do you want him to leave the team?" She asked angrily.

"Do you want to keep him here under false pretenses?" He replied softly.

Kate grabbed the coffee cup and pushed past Esposito. "Espo, I do not need you sticking your nose into my life."

"You should tell him." He called after her.

Beckett brushed past Ryan as she exited the lobby of the motel. "She should tell who what?" He asked his partner.

"It's her and Castle. I absolutely do not know what it is with those two, but they don't seem to be able to get their act together."

Ryan looked after Beckett who was sitting with Castle by the pool. "They're both with someone else, Javi. Sometimes things don't work out like they should."

Esposito nodded. "No kidding! I never realized the Irish were a race of philosophers, bro."

"One of our lesser accomplishments. I'd put it way behind the Irish discovery of laughter, alcohol and sex."

"Sex?" Espo scoffed. "Too bad the Irish never thought of making sex a two person activity."

"For that, you buy the first round."

Kate sat holding Castle's hand. Javi is right. If I have no feelings for Castle, I should tell him. Let him go his own way. Let him walk out of my life. I have Josh and that should be enough. But why do I smile when Castle brings me a cup of coffee in the morning. Why do I get this odd feeling when we build theory together, completing each other's sentences, and saying something in unison? And he walked out of my life before and I was miserable all summer. That was before Josh, dammit!

I don't have to tell Castle anything now. As down as he is about letting Tyson get away, as if that was his fault in any way, this would be the wrong time. He might think that I was asking him to leave. And I'm not. I'm sure in a couple of months I'll feel about Josh the way I feel…felt about Castle at the start of last summer. Then I can have a talk with Castle. We'll both have someone and we'll both be happy.