Dereks Narcissism

"Amelia and Derek are acting like complete children. I'm pretty sure that I'm suppose to be the young one. How did I end up being the more mature one?" Ivy complains to her husband.

"I don't know, hun. All I know is that we have a board meeting tonight and I have a bunch of stuff I need to get done before then, so while I would love to listen to you complain about your siblings, I don't have the time," Jackson tells her, flipping through the papers in front of him.

Ivy nods, "Okay. Then, we can talk at home later."

"Thank you. You-" he starts to say.

Derek interrupts him, "Averys, um, I've got a backlog of some cases-"

His sister mumbles, "Because you're busy trying to take our sisters cases-"

"Amy is doing a great job but there's some stuff I got to get on top of," Derek ignores her.

"So, you need help?" Jackson looks at his brother in law.

"I need you to reschedule this meeting for tonight."

"No."

Arizona jumps in, "Oh, are we rescheduling the meeting? Oh, thank God, because Callie and I have an appointment tonight, and apparently, I've already started my fellowship."

Jackson shakes his head, focusing back on the papers, "We are not rescheduling the meeting."

Derek looks at Arizona, "Tomorrow work for you?"

"No, tomorrow-"

"Hey! Listen to what I'm about to say. Meeting is tonight to put a new member on the board. If I have to wait another day while Bailey prances around this hospital like she owns it, I'm going to go to jail for manslaughter. Derek, if you're so backlogged, get started and let Amy do her job. Arizona, if Herman has a problem letting you do your job as a board member, tell her that new machine she wants for the fetal department isn't going to get here or be bought if we can't have a full board. Everyone is here tonight. And if anyone has a complaint, stick it in the complaints box," Ivy directs.

"We have a complaints box?" Derek asks her.

She nods, "Yeah, it's up your ass and across the road."

With that said, her and Jackson leave to go do their jobs. He eyes her, "You kiss our children with that dirty mouth?"

"Among other things," she gets paged, "Oh, look at that. Trauma in the pit," she winks at him before skipping away.

"Ivy, you can't just say things like that and then walk away. Ivy. Ivy!"

○○○○

She makes it down to the pit and sees a bunch of people taking pictures of a patient, "Hey! Back off now or you're out of a job! Move! Now!"

Everyone quickly moves when she yells. She looks to April, "You do what you have to to keep him safe and alive. I'll be with the best of my Shepherd siblings."

April snorts, "Have fun. Don't kill them."

"No promises," Ivy calls over her shoulder.

○○○○

Pulling away from the patient after checking his airways, Ivy tells her siblings, "ABCs in tact."

Derek examines the patient, "I need to assess his GCS."

"If you'd be quiet, he's trying to talk now. Sir, can you tell me your name? What's your name?" Amelia asks.

"Steve."

"Forget your helmet today, Steve?" She hints.

As Derek takes out shares from his head, Steve cries out, "Aah. It hurts."

Ivy nods, "I'm giving you something for the pain. You may start to feel sleepy."

"Its a depressed skull fracture. It is pretty deep. We're gonna need a C.T. and because of the position, probably an angio," Derek tells his sisters.

"I can make that decision if you'll give me room to look," Amelia tries to shove him out of the way.

They start whispering to each other as Ivy comforts the patient, "Steve, don't worry, we have the best neurosurgeon on your case. Because you know, both of them can take care of you, like a ."

Amelia glares, "I have him. Shepherd-Avery, you'll assist. Let's take him up to C.T."

Ivy nods, "Yeah, that's how I thought this would go."

○○○○

Before she can go into surgery, Jackson grabs her and pushes April towards the O.R., "Uh, April's going to assist Amelia. We've got to be hall monitors."

Ivy groans as Jackson hands her a box with her lunch in it before leading her to Torres' lab, "So, I hear you and Hunt had a little episode in the hallway."

Callie scoffs, "He told on me. You can write me up all you want for insubordination, but I stand by the fact that I do not take orders regarding my own lab. And Hunt can kiss my-"

"We're not asking you to take orders in your lab," Jackson tells her.

"What we're asking is maybe that you not have the screaming match denying said orders in the hallway of the hospital-"

"-because when members of the board cause a scene-"

"-we have to stop practicing medicine-"

"-which we love doing-"

"-and become hall monitors-"

"-which we don't really love doing."

Ivy nods, "Because then, we've got to come down and lecture you about responsibility and honor and crap we don't want to lecture about. You know, I'm down to seeing a trauma into the trauma room but then having to have Hunt or Kepner take over for me for actual surgery? I also haven't had an ortho case in a while."

Jackson adds, "And I'm down to three procedures a day."

"Yeah, that's killing him. He's sucking fat, lifing boobs and butts and I'm tired of my pillow talk being about another woman's breast and butt," Ivy complains.

"I want surgeries-"

"Of joy, I know. But we can't have those because we run the board," she rolls her eyes.

Jackson nods, "Grey calls in sick. Your wife tries to give up peds surgery on us."

Ivy continues, "My siblings are in an all out passing match but they are both being petty and not acknowledging it until I eventually snap and kill them."