132. Chapter 132

Their first night they slip beyond making out – the first night Alex takes Maggie’s shirt off, the first night Alex runs her nails down Maggie’s back because god she’s never felt anything like what Maggie’s thigh between her legs is making her feel – Alex freezes and her eyes flood with fear, with tears, every time Maggie gasps, every time Maggie writhes, every time a small scream slips out of her swollen lips.

“That was a good sound, Alex,” she’ll explain each time, because each time is peppered with did I hurt you and I’m so sorry and god I’m usually a quick study I thought I’d be better at this I’m so sorry.

“You’re amazing at this, Alex,” Maggie assures her, kissing her face, her eyes, her nose, her chin, her neck, for emphasis. “Maybe a safe word would help you feel better? Good to have one anyway, especially if…” She doesn’t finish her sentence, the thoughts, the fantasies, she’s had about Alex, about Alex and her handcuffs and Alex and kneeling and Alex and on her stomach and Alex… because too soon, too soon, too soon.

“A safe word?” Alex asks, and Maggie’s grateful she’s too caught up in learning something new than following up Maggie’s unfinished train of thought.

Maggie nods and Maggie pulls Alex closer to her, relishing her body heat as she brushes hair off of her forehead. “Something you wouldn’t normally say during… making out, or… or during sex…” Alex blushes and bites her lip and Maggie smiles because god is she falling hard and fast.

“So like, if we agree on a safe word together, then all one of us has to do is say it, and we’ll stop. And we can have on for slowing down, too, but not like, stopping all the way.”

“So something random.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Like pineapple or something.”

Maggie laughs and Alex giggles and it’s the most beautiful sound Maggie’s ever heard.

“Yeah, like pineapple or something. But can I say? Um… I get nervous. About hurting people. And I feel like you do to.”

Alex blushes and Maggie kisses her nose. “So I like to have like, something more systematic than a word. Like, a color code thing. Like, I can ask you what your color is, or you can ask me, and green is yes and yellow is let’s slow down and red is let’s stop. You know?”

“So… traffic lights in bed.”

“Yes, Danvers. Traffic lights in bed.” Alex swoons even though they’re laying down and they kiss and Maggie moans softly and Alex swears it’s the hottest sound she’s ever heard.

“I um… what if I can’t… talk?”

Maggie arches an eyebrow and kisses Alex’s eyes.

“Like what if you want me to gag you?” she asks softly, carefully, and Alex blushes, and Alex splutters.

“I… I mean, that could be… I… fuck Maggie…. is… is that something… is that something we could do?”

Maggie kisses her collarbone, kisses up her jawline. “If you wanted, babe. But only if you really wanted.”

Alex splutters some more and Maggie smiles because badass DEO Agent Alex Danvers spluttering in her bed is absolutely incredible.

“I mean, one day, sure, yeah, but um… I meant…” Alex blushes even deeper and Maggie swipes her thumb over her cheek encouragingly. “Sometimes when you kiss me, I lose all my breath. Or like, what we were doing before, with you on top of me, I like… can’t breathe, because it’s just… it feels so amazing and overwhelming and… I can’t imagine how I could say green or yellow or anything when we’re actually having… you know… sex…. like, what if it’s too intense for me to… talk? You know what, it’s stupid, never mind – “

“No, no, no, Alex, that’s not stupid at all. You think you don’t overwhelm me, babe? I’ve slept with a lot of women, Alex, but nothing… none of that even compares to even making out with you. I… I get it. There are nonverbal things we can do, too. Like, okay, here, can I have your hand?”

Alex offers a fist, and Maggie kisses each knuckle and opens it gently, and kisses her palm before putting two fingers there.

“What if I put my fingers on your palm to check in, and if you squeeze, you want to keep going, and if you don’t, we’ll stop?”

Alex nods, and Alex practices, and Maggie smiles. “Same for you?”

“Same for me.”

“So safe words and safe signals.”

“Mmhmm.”

“You care about me.”

“I do. A lot.”

“Good. Because I care about you, too.”

Maggie beams and they kiss and Maggie loses all her breath.

“Mags? My color’s green right now. Like, neon green.”

Maggie chuckles and Maggie pulls Alex’s body closer to hers.

“Fantastic.”