558. Chapter 558
She orders a beer before changing her mind and ordering a beer and a shot. She contemplates ordering two. Or three.
She remembers the night she came out to Maggie, the way she had three shots all lined up for herself.
This might be one of those nights.
Because while she and Maggie were in Purgatory, Kara was back in National City. And Kara got hurt.
Not badly.
Not badly at all.
But any pain for Kara was too much for Alex, and Maggie was out with Nicole, and Alex had just gotten off FaceTime with Kara – she’s fine, she’s fine, she’s fine, she repeats like a mantra in her head – so the alcohol will have to be enough.
Enough to assuage her guilt, enough to ease the lump in her throat and the hatred in her fists.
“You look like you could use something a little harder than that beer,” a voice somehow utterly lacking in judgment chimes next to her, and Alex nods silently in Wynonna’s direction.
She sits. Alex doesn’t stop her. She talks. Alex doesn’t stop her there, either.
“Something wrong between you and your lady?” she asks as she orders her own beer, and Alex shakes her head.
“No, nothing like that. I mean, it’s a little weird watching Maggie and Nicole, just because it’s like part of Maggie’s life I’ve never seen before, and apparently she has a thing for redheads – “
“I noticed.”
“But it’s nice, mostly. Like I’m learning about her more fully.”
Wynonna nods and drinks and waits.
“It’s my sister.”
“She okay?”
Wynonna’s spine stiffens, and whereas a moment before, Alex couldn’t understand why she was spilling her guts to a basic stranger like this, she suddenly understands.
Because she’s seen Wynonna with Waverly.
Because Wynonna will understand in a way that maybe no one else can.
About baby sisters and about responsibility and about…
Well, about failure.
To protect them. Not only from physical pain, but emotional pain. Any pain.
Inevitable failure.
Alex nods as she drinks, deeply. As Wynonna silently orders them both a shot.
“She got injured out in the field today. She’s fine, just a little banged up, but if I were there…”
“If you were there, unicorns would have broken free from the sky and protected her.”
Alex turns to Wynonna for the first time, a fight in her eyes, but Wynonna is nodding.
“Yeah, I get it. You know I’ve seen Waverly with her neck in a noose. I’m the reason she saw our father die, I… but somehow, it doesn’t matter the things we can’t protect them from, right? Because they’re always gonna live their dangerous lives anyway. And we’re always gonna try to protect them from everything from papercuts to Revenants anyway. Aliens, in your case, I guess.”
Alex nods and they silently toast each other before downing the whiskey Wynonna had ordered. Alex gets the next round.
Neither of them speak until it comes.
Only after they drink again does Alex speak.
“Do you ever feel like… like your entire life is defined by how well you keep her safe? By whether she’s happy, whether she’s loved and cared for and just… happy?”
Wynonna chuckles and turns her shot glass over thoughtfully. “Every damn day. That’s why I’m so happy she found Nicole, you know? She’s happy with her, and I know that’s got nothing to do with me, but I just… I feel like I must have done something right with her, if she’s able to be with someone who makes her that happy.”
Alex withers and Wynonna arches an eyebrow.
“You know it’s not your fault if your sister’s with some asshole. Hell, Waverly’s almost exclusively dated assholes until Nicole.”
“Everything’s my fault with Kara.”
“And everything’s my fault with Waves. In the eyes of my town. And mine. Whose eyes are you looking through?”
Alex hesitates before shrugging. “My mom’s. And mine.”
Wynonna nods like she understands, and Alex’s heart feels a little less heavy. “Except when the kids get success, it’s entirely their doing. They get all the credit when they’re right, and we get all the blame when they’re hurt or wrong, huh? Great system.”
Alex chuckles. “Yeah, but they deserve all the credit.”
The two clink their glasses.
“Ain’t that the truth.”
When Waverly finds the two of them leaning into each other, still talking, swaying some, a few hours later, Wynonna tosses up her arms.
“Hey babygirl! Come here, you. Alex misses her Waverly, and I miss mine!”
“Her Waverly?”
“Kara! My baby sister!” Alex chimes, and Waverly smiles, biting her lip slightly as she looks Alex up and down.
“Wanna FaceTime her?” she asks, whipping out her phone. Wynonna and Alex both cheer.
It makes Alex’s night to see Kara’s face again, and it warms Kara’s heart to see Alex with… friends.
Friends, and pride in her baby sister, and something different, something developing: pride in herself.