fantasy

i am not going to tell him

why?

because I don't even know if that guy is serious with this whole courting thing.

and with that I told him;

" no, I don't have one, why? you want to get me one?"

"maybe I will"

and we laughed about it, we sat down and he started another conversation

'' why are you afraid of going into a relationship?

" I feel like I'm not ready yet"

" what makes you think so?

" I feel unsure about myself and I don't know if I can give my all'

" but you don't need to give your all. look, just like me I wasn't able to give my all to my last relationship'

" you? you never missed the chance to tell me how much you loved your ex girlfriend"

" I did?"

"Yes"

"what if I lied"

"huh?"

"let me tell you a story. once upon a time there was a guy who fell in love with someone but didn't know how to tell her, he loved everything about her and was probably crazy for her. he wanted to tell the girl how he felt but Everytime he wanted to, conversation with the girl always seems she was not ready and he didn't want to force her"

" so he hid his feelings?'' I asked

' 'not really, all his actions proved that he loves her, all the people looking from afar could tell how much he loves her but she herself failed to notice it so he didn't tell her because that was not where her mind was and what she was looking for"

" was he really close to the girl or he loved her from afar?"

" he was her best friend"

" then he should have maybe the girl felt the same"

" you think so? let me tell, he always found ways to get her opinions about relationships but her opinions proved she wasn't ready, he had also witness others confessing to her but she always rejected so he didn't want their relationship to break so it was probably better to love from afar knowing she's close to him. he at a point in time felt so strong that he needed to do something about it"

" what did he do? did he confess?"

" no he didn't, he decided to find someone new and maybe just maybe the feelings he has for her will disappear or he will get to feel something for another who will reciprocate his love"

"was he lucky with that?"

" Actually, he did found one, he dated the girl for months but still he wasn't able to find that happiness he wanted neither was he able to solve his problem"

"why?"

" because he was still hanging around his best friend and every day with her rekindle his love for her. why didn't he leave his best friend side? maybe he felt he couldn't"

" he felt? that means he never tried"

" let me tell you this, there was a time that his best friend was not conversing with him and they lived as strangers who only greeted each other, do you know how he felt? he felt like he was dying and he had to approach her himself to sort whatever issue he had with her that's how much the love runs in him. he felt emotions for her stronger and stronger each day, i mean it's difficult to not love her and it's really hard to unlove her. it's crazy right?"

" yh so what did the guy do?"