chapter seventy one

Joan slept off happy and Nick was in thoughts, he couldn't believe he was willing to throw away the past and ran into her Arms again.

he was so angry about himself and remembered the past..,...

Nick;

our love story has been nothing but emotions and feelings filled with pain, memories, heartache that I beg to be relieved from.

I don't know what tommorow holds or brings so I won't say I regret my love for you neither will I say loving you was my biggest mistake because inspite of it all I still wish our ending will be filled with happiness, you're still that part of me that in respective of the pain I never want to forget, memories that even with all that pains won't allow me to forget because in those memories there was a time that you made me happy.

love surely is a topic on it's own that everyone will forever have their perceptions on, since no one will truly understand it, since each person's experience is different. I myself do not understand my love for you inspite of all the pain you put me through I still want you to be a part of me.

that got me thinking wasn't I the one who was desperately wishing this feeling to go away, but here I am wanting it all back again because you gave me a hope of us being happy, being what I want us to be but will I be able to let go of my pain and pretend as if nothing ever happened?

will I be happy with you after what you put me through and inturn what I did to you? will we truly be ourselves again and love as if nothing happened.

Hope, please give me a glimpse of hope so I can fall in love all over again with the assurance that tommorow I will look at us and remember that upon all the pain I had that happy ending I always hope for or else knowing I failed the second time will crush me.

Not everybody is strong enough to go through it twice, dear am not that strong so don't test me, if there is that happy ending then please show me or else I'll be shattered knowing I was close but my fears let me lose.

This got me thinking again wasn't I the one who wished for this feelings to disappear some years ago, what happened to me and what happened to those words and the pain that comes with it.....

Nick breathe in