Feature Presentation

Nasundan na lamang ng tingin ni Ryan si Jenneth habang paalis ito ng The Coffee Club. Bigla siyang nakaramdam ng panghihinayang habang pinapanood niya itong lumabas sa glass door na parang gusto niyang sumigaw. He felt like calling her name to stop her, maybe make her come back to them. To him.

But as Jenneth's figure disappeared in his sight, he realized it was better he did not call her back. That he just let her walk away from his life. Maybe this time, it's for forever. Sino ba ang mag-aakalang makikita pa niya ito ulit pagkatapos ng pagkahaba-habang panahon?

"Ninong, iyon na po yung sign."

Napatingin siya kay Darlene. "Huh?"

"Si Tita Jhing. Baka siya na iyong makakatulong sa atin para makausap si Sam de Vera. 'Di ba sa TGH siya nagtatrabaho?"

"Forget about Jhing. She will not help us."

"Pero Ninong, mukha namang–"

"I said, she'll not help us. Hindi nga natin alam kung makikita pa natin iyon ulit."

"Makikita pa natin siya, Ninong." Parang siguradong-sigurado si Darlene sa sinabi.

"Darlene, please. I don't want to talk about Jenneth. Let's just go to TDC at baka ma-late na tayo doon sa Night at the Museum."

Darlene gazed at Ryan. He kind of realized his tone changed again, due to annoyance not for the kid, but for the fact that talking about Jenneth wakes up various emotions that he does not want to encounter.

"Sige po."

Gustong bawiin ni Ryan ang sinabi dahil na rin sa parang bigla na namang tumamlay ang kanyang inaanak. Pero paano naman? Kung babawiin niya ang sinabi niya, baka may masabi lang siya na hindi niya dapat sabihin.

"Sige na. Dalhin mo na lang iyang kinakain mo at ubusin mo sa daan, o kaya sa sinehan," ang sabi na lamang niya. "Let's go."

Magkasabay na lumabas ng The Coffee Club ang dalawa. Tumuloy sila sa Tarlac Downtown Cinema na halos katapat lang ng UrbanShop. Kaagad silang nakabili ng ticket dahil wala pa namang gaanong nakapila sa ticket booth.

Maganda rin ang mga upuang napili nila dahil wala pang gaanong nanonood dahil nga maaga pa. Isa pa ay halos dalawang linggo na sa sinehan ang nasabing pelikula. Probably everyone in town have already seen it.

But as the lights dimmed and the movie started rolling in the large screen, Ryan suddenly saw the scenes not from the movie they are watching, but from the real incident that happened to him nine years ago. At ang kasama niyang artista: walang iba kundi ang kanyang ex-girlfriend na si Jenneth.

Nasa puntod sila noon ng kanyang yumaong ina. Ipinapakilala niya dito si Jenneth, na parang nasa harapan talaga nila ito, buhay at nakakusap nilang dalawa.

"Nay, si Jenneth po." Ngumiti si Ryan. "Sa wakas, nakakita na rin ako ng isang taong nakakaintindi sa akin. Siguro, kasi pareho kaming dalawa. Itinadhana siguro kaming matagpuan ang isa't isa, kaya heto."

Tinignan niya si Jenneth, na ngumiti sa kanya.

"Ang ganda niya, ano, Nay? Sayang nga lang. Sana nakilala mo siya. Alam kong magugustuhan mo din siya."

Jenneth looked as if she liked what Ryan had said. He liked how she looked at him, making him feel the bliss that his words have caused her. He likes making her happy. It makes him happy knowing she's happy.

Muli niyang tinignan ang puntod ng ina. "Promise, magiging mabuti akong boyfriend sa kanya, Nay. Paliligayahin ko siya... At hindi ko gagawin iyong pagkakamaling nagawa ng... ng tatay ko."

Medyo bumigat ang kanyang dibdib nang maalala ang sitwasyon na kinalalagyan sa kanyang pamilya. Nalungkot siya nang maalala kung bakit nga ba siya naipanganak sa mundong ito, at kung paano siya tratuhin ng kinikilala niyang pamilya. Hindi naman iyon ang pinili niyang buhay, pero iyon ang ipinagkaloob sa kanya ng kapalaran: ang maging anak sa labas ng kanyang ama.

Naramdaman na lamang niya ang paghawak ni Jenneth sa kanyang kamay. Tinignan niya ito, at ang ngiting ibinigay nito sa kanya ay parang apoy na tumutunaw sa kalungkutang nararamdaman niya. Parang ang ngiting iyon ay nagbibigay ng kulay sa kanyang madilim at malungkot na mundo.

"Promise, aalagaan ko siya, mamahalin at paliligayahin. Ipaparamdam ko sa kanya iyong mga bagay na dapat naramdaman mo, Nay," ang sabi ni Ryan habang nakatingin pa rin kay Jenneth. "Hindi ko siya sasaktan, hindi ko siya paiiyakin."

But it was a promise he broke when he was given a situation he needed to solve. He broke her heart, made her cry, and it was because of the same thing that his father did to his mother. Rather, it was the same thing that his father did to his wife, by using his mother as his mistress.

"Pwede ba tayong mag-usap?" tanong sa kanya ni Jenneth.

He looked at her, and he knows she was just trying all her might to act tough. He knows she's not the confrontational type. She's the sweetest and kindest soul he has ever met.

"Spill it," aniya at saka umakbay sa babaeng katabi niya.

"Iyong tayong dalawa lang."

Tinitigan niya ito, at alam niyang nagpipilit lang ito na hindi maiyak sa harapan niya at ng kanyang 'mistress'. The thought of that pierced his heart, but he managed to hide it very well with that sneer on his face.

"I'll meet you later when we're done," bulong niya sa babaeng katabi. Hindi naman talaga bulong dahil alam niyang narinig iyon ni Jenneth. Sinadya lang niyang ilapit ang mukha niya sa taenga ng babae na parang nilalandi ito.

"Okay," malandi ring wika ng babae.

She kissed him on the lips, making him shudder inside. Again, Ryan was able to hide it from Jenneth.

Nang makaalis na ang babae ay saka ulit tinignan ni Ryan si Jenneth. Andoon pa rin iyong ngisi sa kanyang mukha.

"Stop it, Ryan."

It was quiet and weak, but it sounded like a gong ringing out on his head. He mustered all he has to act like he is not affected in any way.

"Stop fooling around, will you?"

Nagsimula na siyang maiyak. Ryan tried so hard to not crumble and keep the façade he's put up.

"Why would I? Sobra kaya akong nag-e-enjoy."

"Ano bang gusto mo?" Nabasag na ang kanyang tinig. "Ano bang hinahanap mo?"

"Something you cannot give me." It was broad, it was vague, but it was the only thing that Ryan could ever think off.

Dahil ang totoo, wala namang kulang kay Jenneth. She is everything that he ever wanted. And more.

"Ano iyon?" Halatang medyo hesitant si Jenneth, pero sinabi pa rin nito ang naiisip. "Sex?"

Hindi inasahan ni Ryan na kaya iyong sabihin ni Jenneth sa kanya. Not now, not in this situation.

"Tingin mo ba hindi ko iyon kayang ibigay sa iyo?" tanong ni Jenneth.

Ryan tried his best to sound as contemptuous as he can. "Can you?"

The pain in Jenneth's face broke his heart, but Ryan just kept acting out the role he chose to play.

"Alam mong kaya kong gawin ang lahat para sa iyo, hindi ba?"

"Ni hindi ka nga marunong humalik ng maayos."

Those sweet kisses they shared together. Ryan treasures all of them. Those were the most precious moments in his life. But he has to act like he despises them. All because of the 'plan.'

"Alam mo naman na wala akong experience–"

"Nakakasawa nang makipaghalikan sa babaeng walang experience!"

Nagulat si Jenneth sa biglaan niyang pagsigaw. Medyo napahiya din siya na narinig ng ibang naroon ang pagsigaw ni Ryan.

Na pinagsisihan naman ng lalaki. Gusto niyang bawiin ang sinabi, pero kailangan niyang ipagpatuloy ang 'plano' niya.

"Alam mong hindi ko pa nagagawa iyon noon. Ikaw ang first boyfrien ko–"

"And I thought it will be okay. I thought I could live with it, but I'm getting tired, Jhing. I want something more in this relationship. Lalaki din ako. Hindi na tayo high school, tapos na nga tayo ng college, eh. We're adults and we have needs. Physical needs. Something you cannot satisfy."

Her first teardrop fell. His defense is starting to crumble. If this will drag on, he will totally lose it and surrender.

Good thing Jenneth finally collapsed.

"You're a jerk!"

Her tears, her words and the hurt in her voice all cut through his heart. Handa siyang tanggapin ang lahat, dahil iyon ang mas makakabuti para sa kanila.

"Ang sabi mo noon, mahal mo ako. Hindi mo ako sasaktan. Eh anong ginagawa mo ngayon? You're breaking my heart! You're breaking... me!"

She cried, and he watched her painfully. His heart is crying with her, getting crushed with every tear and sob and agony she is having.

"Ibinigay ko sa'yo lahat... lahat ng kaya kong ibigay. Hindi pa ba sapat iyon? You still want more? Sobrang sakim mo naman, Ryan Arcilla! You're a selfish, conceited, horrible person!"

Bawat salitang binitawan ni Jenneth ay parang espadang humihiwa sa kanyang puso. Siguro nga, nararapat lang sa kanya ang ganoon.

"Nagsisisi akong pinayagan kitang makapasok sa mundo ko, na makuha mo ang puso ko."

Oh no, not that one, please. Everything is okay for him, except hearing that she regrets loving him. Pero ano nga ba ang magagawa niya? Sinimulan niya ito, at hindi na siya pwedeng bumalik pa.

"I do not like to see your face again. I don't like you in my life ever again!"

Lumabas na ito ng restaurant. As he looked on, Ryan caught sight of the people around whispering while looking at him. Sugurado siyang siya ang pinag-uusapan ng mga ito. Wala siyang paki, dahil ang tanging mahalaga lang sa kanya ngayon ay iyong babaeng dali-daling lumabas ng restaurant telling him to stay away from her life from now on...

Ryan blinked the tears that had formed in his eyes. He heard the laughter of the audience around him. Mukhang dumami na ang mga nanonood kumpara kaninang pumasok sila ni Darlene sa sinehan.

Nakakatawa ang eksenang pinapanood nila, pero hindi magawang makangiti man lang ni Ryan as his mood was completely taken over by the memory of the past that suddenly came back to him unintentionally. After nine long years, the pain is still the same. After nine long years, the feelings have never left him.