Ryan Arcilla

Siguro kung may award lang sa pinakamatiising anak sa labas ay kay Ryan na iyon naibigay. For twenty years simula nang malamang niya ang totoo sa pagkatao niya ay nagtitiis na siyang dumalo sa mga pagtitipon na kagaya noon. Akala niya nung humiwalay siya sa mga magulang niya ay matatapos na ang kalbaryo niyang iyon. Hindi pa pala.

Well, he has been enduring his stepmother's maltreatment since he can remember. Nagtataka siya noon kung bakit iba ang pakikitungo ng nanay nila sa kanya. Hindi tulad ng mga kapatid niya na sobrang mahal na mahal ng kanilang nanay, lagi siya nitong pinapagalitan at nakapalamig din ng pakikitungo nito sa kanya. She would not even look at him. Kasi pala, ganoon siya sa buhay nito.

His father might have been better, but still not what Ryan deserved. Pinag-aral siya nito sa isang magandang paaralan, pinakain at binihisan. Binigyan ng magandang pangalan at reputasyon. He provided all his needs. Except for his love. He never felt he truly cared for him. Siguro dahil sa impluwensiya ng asawa nito. Siguro kasi nakokonsensiya ito na nagkasala siya dito kaya kahit anong sabihin nito ay sinusunod nito. Even if it means being a mediocre father to him.

His siblings, well, they were better than his father. Siguro dahil noong una hindi nila alam na anak siya sa labas. Nung malaman ng mga ito ang totoo, naramdaman din ni Ryan na nag-iba ang pakikitungo nila sa kanya. Though hindi naman naging masama ang pakikitungo nila pero ramdam niyang nandoon na yung gap sa kanilang magkakapatid.

Except for his Ate Racquel. She's the only one who did not change among his siblings. Kung wala nga ito, siguro ay hindi na siya magkakaroon pa ng connection sa pamilya ng kanyang ama. But she diligently and patiently asks him to come to family gatherings all the time. Napipilitan din naman siyang pumunta kahit pa nga most of the times ay sama ng loob din lang ang naidudulot ng mga ito sa kanya.

So yeah, Ryan deserves that award. O kaya naman, any reward that he might have for being the most enduring bastard. Pero ano naman kaya ang reward na ibibigay sa kanya ng kapalaran dahil sa pagtitiis niya?

What if it's the woman who's coming towards him right now? Ryan froze as he saw Jenneth walk towards him. Parang biglang naglaho ang ibang tao sa paligid at si Jenneth lang ang nakikita niya nang mga sandaling ito.

Is this for real? Is it really Jenneth who's coming towards him? The woman is wearing a round neck skater dress with black long-sleeved top and floral skirt. Her beauty made Ryan speechless. She's stunning as ever.

Tumigil ito sa harapan niya.

"I hope I didn't crash the party."

Ryan blinked as his wit came back to Earth.

"Uhm... of course."

Jenneth smiled. "Thanks."

"I... Y-You never said you'd come."

"Bawal ba?"

"No! Of course..." Bakit ba parang bigla natataranta siya? "Ano lang... Uhm..."

At tuluyan na nga siyang nataranta. Hindi niya malaman kung ano ang sasabihin. Ni hindi nga niya alam kung ano ang iisipin.

Jenneth looked around. Obviously, a lot of people have started looking at them. Para namang walang pakialam doon si Jenneth.

"I think I should say hi to your parents."

Napatingin si Ryan sa mga magulang. Nakatingin ang mga ito sa kanila.

"Let's go?" Jenneth asked.

Wala na siyang nagawa nung maglakad na ito kundi ang samahan na lamang ito. Pumunta sila sa kanyang mga magulang na halatang nagulat nang makita silang palapit.

Ryan leaned over to Jenneth and whispered, "I don't think you should do this."

Jenneth stopped and looked at him. "Bakit naman?"

Hindi nakasagot si Ryan. Bukod kasi sa maraming makakarinig ay hindi rin naman niya malaman kung anong sasabihin.

Lumapit na nga ng tuluyan si Jenneth sa mga magulang ni Ryan.

"Good evening, Ma'am, Sir. I'm Jenneth... I'm with Ryan."

Kinamayan ni Jenneth ang dalawa na parang wala lang. Halata naman sa mukha ng dalawa ang uneasiness.

"Happy birthday, Sir."

Jenneth handed the Arcilla patriarch a small box with dark blue wrapping. Tinanggap naman nito iyon.

"Salamat."

Jenneth smiled. After smiling to Ryan's mother, she looked at the still bewildered Ryan Arcilla. She held his arm and guided him back to the spot where he was standing earlier.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Huh?" Blangko pa rin si Ryan.

"You're staring like I'm something unusual or something."

Napaiwas siya ng tingin.

"I'm just not sure why you're here."

Tumaas ang kilay ni Jenneth. "Are you saying that I'm not welcome here?"

"Hindi naman sa ganoon..."

"Then what is it?"

He suddenly feels embarrassed. "Hindi ko lang kasi inaasahan... hindi na naman tayo, 'di ba?"

"I was not your girlfriend nung una akong pumunta sa birthday ng tatay mo."

"But at least we're friends."

"And now, we're not?"

Hindi nakasagot si Ryan.

"Siguro nga... hindi..."

Nagulat siya sa sinabi ni Jenneth.

"But I remembered how pitiful you were every time you attend your father's birthday. So, since I'm here again, and we're kind of okay... I thought, maybe... maybe I could come with you."

Hindi malaman ni Ryan kung bakit parang sumaya siya sa sinabi nito. Was it because of the fact that she came tonight because she thought he needed someone to be with? Or was it the mere fact that she remembered him?

"Thanks, Jhing..."

Jenneth smiled. "Bakit ba kasi nag-aattend ka pa dito?"

"Hindi ko rin alam," ani Ryan. "Truth is, wala na rin namang dahilan. My father said nang makapasa ako sa board exams na wala na siyang pananagutan sa akin. I actually thought na kung bumagsak ako noon, wala na siyang pakialam at hahayaan na lang niya akong hanapan ng paraan na makapasa ako sa susunod na board exams. Kaya naman I did my best to pass."

"He really said that?"

Tumango si Ryan. Si Jenneth naman ang parang hindi malaman ang sasabihin.

"Tapos alam mo ba? Ibinigay na niya sa akin ang mana ko. Para daw wala na akong hahabulin pa talaga sa kanya. Alam mo iyong feeling na parang ipinamukha niya sa akin na that is the only reason I stay?"

Hinawakan na lamang ni Jenneth ang kamay niya. Ngumiti siya dito.

"Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit nandito pa ako ngayon... Siguro dahil kay Ate Raqie."

"Hindi ko nga malaman kung bakit hanggang ngayon pinipilit pa rin niyang mabuo ang family namin. Eh iyong dalawang puno naman ayaw."

"Ate Raqie has always been kind and righteous."

Tumango si Ryan. "Siya lang ang masasabi kong totoo sa kanilang lahat."

"At least you have someone."

Ryan looked at her. He actually had another one, but then, he pushed her away. That is the biggest regret he has in his life. Until now hindi pa talaga siya nakaka-move on doon.

Jenneth sensed him looking at her. She gave her a questioning look.

"Thank you. For coming tonight."

Jenneth smiled. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you."

"Tungkol saan?"

Si Jenneth naman ang mukhang nabahala.

"I learned something... about us..."

Ryan frowned.

"Ryan... why did you do that to me?"

Hindi na kailangan pang i-elaborate ni Jenneth ang ibig nitong sabihin. Alam na alam na ni Ryan ang tinutukoy nito.

"I'm sorry..." was all he could tell her. He looked down, avoiding her eyes.

"Iyan lang ba talaga ang sasabihin mo?"

He looked at her. Jenneth is starting to tear up. He held her hands, but she pulled them away.

"Hanggang kailan ka ba hindi magsasabi ng totoo, Ryan?"

"Jhing..."

"Ry..."

Parang may gusto pa itong sabihin, but Jenneth chose to not say anything. Tumalikod na lang ito at saka naglakad paalis.

Hinabol naman siya ni Ryan.

"Jhing, please..."

Humarap naman ito bigla sa kanya.

"Did you do that because I wasn't enough? Kasi hindi naman ako maganda, I was a nerd... I was plain and boring and dull–"

"No... no, you weren't. Jhing, I loved you. You were always enough, more than enough for me. And you were the most beautiful person for me."

"Then why did you cheat?"

Umiiyak na si Jenneth. Para namang pinipiga ang puso ni Ryan sa nakikita. Not just because he's guilty of that accusation. He's hurting because truth is, he still cares so much for this girl that it pains him to see her hurting.

And what's worse is her pain is caused by him.

Ryan looked around, trying to find a way to answer Jenneth's question without telling the truth. He saw his father's guests who seems oblivious about what's happening between him and Jenneth. For the first time, he's thankful that no one cares that much about him.

"Because you want me out of your life?"

Nagulat si Ryan sa sinabi ni Jenneth.

"Jhing..." How did she know?

Ryan tried to hold her, pero nagpumiglas si Jenneth. Tumakbo ito palabas ng bahay nila at dali-daling sumakay sa kotse nito.

"Jhing!"

Literal na kinalampag ni Ryan ang bintana ng kotse nito. Pero wala ring nangyari. Hindi siya pinagbuksan ng bintana ni Jenneth. Sa halip ay pinaharurot pa nito ang sasakyan.

Napatanaw na lamang si Ryan sa papalayong sasakyan. Paano ba nalaman ni Jenneth ang totoo? Ang alam niyang nakakaalam noon bukod sa kanya ay ang nanay nito na patay na rin naman. Siya kaya ang nagsabi? Pero kung matagal na nitong alam, bakit ngayon lang niya ito nabanggit sa kanya? Eh di sana noon pang nag-usap silang dalawa sa Subic, sana na-brought up na iyon sa kanya.

And then there's Kenneth. Siya kaya ang nagsabi? Paano kung ipinagpatuloy pala nito ang plano na paglapitin silang muli ni Jenneth? Though this is highly unlikely dahil sobrang stressed ni Kenneth sa sarili nitong problema kay Sam.

Ewan. Hindi malaman ni Ryan ang sagot sa tanong niya. Isa lang ang gusto niyang gawin ngayon.

He went back inside the gate, though he did not go inside the house. Instead, he headed to his car. He's not sure where he's going but he sure will follow Jenneth wherever she might go.