Us. Again

Katatapos lamang magbihis ni Jenneth nang katukin siya ni Janet sa kuwarto niya. Nagtatakang binuksan niya ang pintuan.

"Ate… Akala ko tulog ka na?"

"May naghahanap sa iyo," ani Janet.

"Sino daw?" She frowned.

"Ryan daw."

Bigla ang dagundong ng kaba ni Jenneth. Hindi pa nga siya nakaka-get over sa usapan nilang dalawa kanina, tapos nandito na naman siya?

"Pinapasok mo na ba? Pakisabi, natutulog na ako."

"Ang sabi nung kasama, gisingin daw kita, eh."

Kasama? Anong ibig sabihin ni Janet?

"Papapasukin ko ba?"

Tumingin siya kay Janet. Para namang wala siyang magagawa.

"Okay, sige."

Bumalik siya sa loob at nagbihis muna ng mas presentable kaysa sa suot niyang nude satin negligee. She donned a pair of denim shorts and white T-shirt. She looked at the mirror and examined her face. Wala na siyang make-up dahil nga sa nakapag-hilamos na siya. Medyo litaw na rin ang pamumugto ng kanyang mga mata dahil sa pag-iyak niya kanina, but who cares? Alam naman ni Ryan na umiyak siya kanina kaya hindi na niya kailangan pang itago iyon.

So hindi na siya nag-ayos pa dahil si Ryan lang naman ang makikita niya. Eh ano naman ngayon kung makita niya iyong totoong itsura niya? Pagod na siyang magbihis ng maganda every time na malalaman niyang makikita niya ito. Pero bigla siyang nagsisi nang makita sina Samantha at Kenneth, pati na si Darlene.

"Tita Jhing!" Darlene rushed to her. Yumakap ito sa kanya tapos nagmano.

"Hi Jhing!" bati naman ni Kenneth sa kanya. "Sorry sa abala."

"Okay lang." Siya nga itong nahiya, lalo na at bihis na bihis silang lahat.

"Sorry Jhing, ha? Meron kasing kumunsulta sa akin, eh," ang sabi naman ni Samantha. "Primary complain niya, shortness of breath, chest pain, palpitations."

Mukhang alam na ni Jenneth ang tinutukoy ni Samantha. Sinakyan na lamang niya ang trip nito.

"Baka cardiac arrest," aniya. "Tumawag ka na ng ambulansiya, baka ma-DA pa sa ER iyan."

Bumungisngis si Samantha. "Eh ang kaso, kailangan daw muna niyang makausap ang guardian niya."

Mukhang iyon ang hindi nya na-gets.

"Sorry kung corny itong susunod kong sasabihin sa iyo, pero, kailangan muna daw niyang makausap ang guardian ng puso niya."

Napabungisngis si Kenneth sa sinabi ni Samantha. Jenneth suddenly wondered, bakit pala magkasama silang dalawa ngayon?

"Tita Jhing…"

Yumuko si Jenneth upang harapin si Darlene.

"Pwede n'yo po bang kausapin si Ninong? Kasi love na love po niya talaga kayo."

"Hoy! Wala akong sinabing ganoon, ha?" tanggi naman ni Ryan.

"Pare, huwag ka nang magkaila," ang sabi naman ni Kenneth. "Tinutulungan ka na nga namin, eh."

"Wala naman talaga akong sinabing ganoon eh," pilit ni Ryan.

"Kahit na. Totoo naman, di ba?"

Jenneth looked at Ryan, and suddenly she felt she wanted to hear the answer to Kenneth's question. She's hoping it would be an affirmative.

"Pwede bang mag-usap muna kaming dalawa? Iyong kaming dalawa lang."

Ryan looked at her, and Jenneth just kept looking back.

"Sige, mauna na kami," ani Kenneth.

Nagpaalam na sina Kenneth at Samantha at kasama si Darlene ay nauwi na ang mga ito. Naiwan nga si Ryan. Nakatayo pa rin ito malapit sa sofa kung saan siya iniwan ng tatlo. Nakatingin ito sa kanya, at walang nagawa si Jenneth kundi ang lumapit dito at umupo sa pangtatluhang sofa.

Umupo na rin si Ryan sa tabi niya. Hindi nga lang humarap si Jenneth sa kanya. She's looking in front while Ryan is turned to her direction.

"Ano pa bang pag-uusapan natin?"

"Us," Ryan answered.

"Matagal nang natapos iyong 'us.'"

"Sa akin hindi pa."

That made her look at him.

"It never left me. It actually ruined my life because I cannot fall in love with another woman completely, because of that 'us' that's still in me."

Muli siyang napaiwas ng tingin. "Baka naman kasi… hindi mo talaga inalis?"

"Siguro…" Ryan looked down. "Siguro hindi talaga kasi, deep in my heart, umaasa pa rin ako na sa bandang huli, baka pwede ulit maging 'us.'"

Hindi niya malaman kung ano ang isasagot doon. Ayaw niyang alamin kung ano talaga ang saloobin niya tungkol doon kasi baka malaman niyang pareho pala sila ng iniisip.

"You really are a jerk," ang sabi niya sabay tayo. Pupunta na siya sa may hagdan para umakyat pabalik sa kuwarto niya. "Pakisara na lang ng pinto pag-alis mo–"

Hindi na natapos pa ni Jenneth ang sasabihin dahil bigla na lang siyang hinablot ni Ryan. He was able to pin her on the wall beside the staircase. Nabigla si Jenneth, nagulat sa biglaan nitong pagharang sa kanya kaya hindi siya nakapalag.

At hindi lang dahil doon. That thing that Ryan did to her, it was the same as what he did when she first fell in love with him during her first year in high school at the back of CPRU's gymnasium.

"Are you sure? Are you really… totally… over… us?" Ryan said, quite breathy. He's breathing became shallow, as if being close to her like that gives him a hard time.

Or maybe, it's because of a different sensation that only her can give him.

Because to Jenneth, that's what's taking her breath away being close to him like that.

Ryan's face slowly went closer to hers. She knew exactly what he is trying to do. She knows exactly how he could stop him. But she didn't. She didn't stop him because deep in her heart, she also wanted that to happen.

Yes, deep in her heart she's also longing for that kiss that gives her the feeling that only Ryan Arcilla can give her.

She closed her eyes, anticipating the contact that their lips are about to make. But the kiss didn't happen. A few moments have passed and Jenneth felt odd she opened her eyes. There she saw him looking at her with that smirk on his face.

"You're still in love with me, aren't you?"

Jenneth felt herself blush. Sa sobrang pagkapahiya ay itinulak niya ito. Saka siya naglakad pabalik sa may sala.

"Ang yabang mo talaga, ano? Umalis ka na nga, Ryan–"

He pulled her again and this time, he finally kissed her. Jenneth remembered when they first kissed each other. It was awkward, unsure, yet gentle and sweet. That is exactly how that kiss that they're sharing right now feels like, and it takes her back to all the feelings that she thought she totally forgot.

After the kiss, Ryan looked at her. She stared back, tears starting to well up her eyes.

"I love you, Jhing. It never changed. Alam ko marami nang nangyari, nasaktan ka na ng sobra. Pero sana bigyan mo ulit ako ng pagkakataon. I can't promise that I would do everything the right way this time, but I promise to be more honest and open sa lahat ng bagay. Kaya sana, sana bigyan mo ulit ako ng pagkakataon."

Hindi malaman ni Jenneth kung bakit bigla siyang napaiyak. Was it because of all the pain that Ryan caused her back then? Or was it because of all the sadness she had to endure trying to forget him? Maybe it's because of the relief that he's now back in her life again. Or maybe, it's the realization that her first love, the first man that made her feel she could be vulnerable, trusting, and safe is back to her life again.

Bigla namang nag-panic si Ryan nang makita siyang umiiyak. "Hey…" He held her close to him.

"Paano kung mabaliw na naman ako sa pagmamahal ko sa'yo?" tanong niya.

"Eh di mamahalin din kita ng sobra-sobra para kahit ibigay mo na sa akin ang lahat ng pagmamahal mo, iyong sa akin naman ang pumalit."

Lalong napahagulgol si Jenneth.

"Hey…" Tuluyan na siyang niyakap ni Ryan.

"Bakit dati hindi mo ginawa iyon? O di sana, sana hindi na nangyari ang lahat? Sana hanggang ngayon tayo pang dalawa! Sana hindi tayo nagkahiwalay!"

"Sorry na nga," ani Ryan. "I was young and immature. Aminado naman ako doon, eh. But I'm better now. Promise, kung hindi ako tutupad, pwede mo akong ipagulpi kay Kenneth."

Kumalas siya mula sa pagkakayakap nito upang makita ang mukha nito.

"Best friend mo iyon, eh. Hindi niya gagawin iyon."

"Hindi naman ako yung best friend nun. Si Sam."

Jenneth stared at him, suddenly realizing what has happened just now.

Ryan Arcilla is back in her life!

Just that thought is enough to make her feel joyful. Dahil doon ay napangiti na siya.

"Jhing… okay ka lang?"

"Oo naman…"

"Kasi… umiiyak ka tapos nakangiti… nababaliw ka na ba?"

Natawa siya sa sinabi nito, iyong totoong tawa. Gosh! Is she really that glad he's back in her life? Pinunasan niya ang mga luha habang tumatawa. Pagkatapos ay napatingin siya dito. Nakatingin lang din si Ryan sa kanya, andoon pa rin iyong pagtataka sa mukha nito. Lalo siyang natawa.

"Hindi nga… hindi ka talaga…"

"Seryoso ka ba diyan?" aniya.

Tumango lamang si Ryan, waring nananantiya.

"Eh kung baliw nga ako, anong gagawin mo?"

Hindi nakasagot si Ryan.

"Baliw na nga ako… Baliw ako sa'yo."

Ryan's eyes glinted with mirth. He once again took her in his arms and held her close to him.

"Heto na yung straight jacket mo," he joked.

Jenneth wrapped her arms around his neck, then smiled.

"I love you too, Ryan Arcilla."

She leaned closer and kissed him, surprising him because back then, she never initiated a kiss. Oh well, back then she was naïve and innocent and inexperienced. But that was in the past. Now, she is wiser and more mature. She promised to do everything to not make the same mistakes that she did before.

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