Crisis and consciousness

After making use of his power on numerous occasions, Takashi had lost about 28 years of useful life and this was something he did not understand. 

Life was slipping out of his hands and he could do nothing but wait for his death. He felt that all his efforts to make a change to the world he wanted to change in the first place were not getting any results. 

How can he make a change if just to save his life he has already lost more than twenty years of useful life in all this time? The only thing his presence does in this place is to create a paradox, unable to breathe in the dark lake where he is. 

Enemies multiply and everything moves as if it wants to kill him, everyone is aiming at his life and on continuous occasions he is forced to make use of his Susanoo more frequently. 

Since he is aware that he loses life every time he makes use of his power it leaves him more and more thoughtful. Is he doing it right or is he just swimming in something he has no control over? Takashi could only scoff at himself knowing his thoughts at the beginning of his arrival in this world, a childish boy with stupid fictitious dreams. 

Now he suffers from something in his body every time he makes use of his power, something surges inside him and creates a vacuum with a strange feeling. 

Now, Takashi's breathing was unnatural and his body was sweating profusely with a feeling of anguish and despair. 

"Hey, are you okay?" Jean frowned as she looked at Takashi, who was trembling slightly. 

"I'll be fine after a while, I've experienced this feeling and I'll be fine after a few moments." Takashi said with a fake smile on his face. 

He had gotten used to lying now, he felt so lonely sometimes that he hid it with the training and meaningless conversations he had before, but he couldn't act like an idiot anymore. 

The feeling this time was much less intense than last time, but this time he felt that there was something pushing him into a dark abyss. Now, he wouldn't waste time acting so far away from what he felt. 

Jean had a strange expression and wanted to ask something, but Takashi didn't know how to explain to him that he was dying, so he changed the subject and said, "Jean, will you remember me if I ever disappear?"

"What?" Jean didn't answer. 

Armin who was next to her said, "Is it some kind of game? Honestly it would be impossible for us to forget our faces, what do you mean?" 

"Well, I feel that sometimes I should just fly like a cloud in the sky, shout to you all what I want and disappear from all the problems that torment me." Takashi pointed out, "By the way, the new haircut you had in the morning looked really good on you." 

"Huh, how is that possible! That idiot's hair doesn't fit me at all!" Jean shouted angrily when he heard that he was being linked once again with that stupid Eren. 

"Don't say that, who knows? You might be required to be the famous Eren again, that's a skill very few can have." Takashi pointed out, "I forgot to tell you, Eren complained and said you have the face of a horse." 

"That idiot? I'm better looking than him!" Jean cursed and pointed out that he would beat Eren into a person Mikasa wouldn't recognize. 

Armin smiled with a somewhat confused expression, would Takashi be okay? He knew he's been acting strange lately, as if something was wrong with him. 

"Is it just my imagination?" thought Armin in bewilderment. 

The three of them went to rigorously report on the situation and the anomalies that arose in the operation. Takashi shone in the fight against the female titan, he not only cared about doing damage but also being an excellent leader. 

"You have excelled as an excellent cadet, there is nothing more to do after this report." Said a soldier who had received Takashi's report. 

"I understand, then I'm retiring." Takashi said with a military salute. As he was the one who needed the most time to narrate the details of the operation, Jean and Armin had already withdrawn. 

Leaving the building, Takashi had nothing else to do so he decided to walk around the city inside the Sina wall. 

As he walked through the streets, he saw the people who were cleaning up all the mess caused by the big battle and he could only feel helplessness. 

Just as he was about to return to the others, he looked at a man with a long trench coat and a hat who was looking at him with a smile, the man pointed to an alley and then went inside without giving him another glance at Takashi. 

"What's going on?" Takashi, puzzled, walked into the alleyway without a care in the world. 

The long alley was big enough to hide whatever might develop in this place. 

"You know why you can live quietly having the last name Ackerman?" The man held up his hat and looked at Takashi. 

Takashi frowned and said, "Who are you? You look familiar but I've never seen you." 

"I'm Kenny... Kenny Ackerman." The man who introduced himself as Kenny Ackerman looked at Takashi and remarked, "Have you been told about what our clan has suffered for generations?" 

This man who had the same last name as Takashi approached him to invite him to join his side, it turns out that the Ackerman family was a clan that was persecuted for generations due to many problems. 

Now he knew that the Ackermans were warriors who protected the Royal family, a glorious clan full of powerful warriors and a record that was second to none. But all that ended when the great change came about, this change brought the Ackerman family to an end. 

For a long time, all the Ackermans were hunted down and killed no matter what. According to Kenny, he stopped that eternal hunt but he no longer had a purpose to keep fighting for. 

He had learned that Takashi was an Ackerman who was unaware of his last name and decided to approach him. He had been watching him and apparently his help could move his plans forward without much trouble, which was something that was necessary.  

With Takashi's help, being able to have Eren and Christa on the quest that Christa's father is doing would be completed without much trouble. 

As he thus convinced many people to follow him, Kenny wanted to convince Takashi to take revenge on behalf of his clan. 

"I'm sorry, but I'm not interested..." Takashi said with a somewhat unnatural expression. 

"Don't you want to save the whole world without having to fight tales of battles? Once I get what I want and take revenge, we can work together to eliminate all the titans." Kenny said unnerved by Takashi's denial. 

"I know you're a smart guy, don't you want to find out all the secrets of the titans? Destroy the falsehood of this world and create a future that will really help the fight against the titans?" 

"Can I think about it?" Takashi asked with a cold expression. 

"You must not do it for too long, time is running out and when you least expect it, I will have already moved to complete my goals." Kenny said with a smile. 

"Your objectives would be completed faster with my help, I have strong allies that would fight by my side and if Eren's power is a problem, I have a way you can easily hold him back." After saying that, Takashi turned around. 

"It won't take long, I'll think about it and the next time we meet, you'll have an answer." Takashi said without refusing this unbelievable opportunity. 

He didn't know Kenny's true purpose in approaching him directly, but being so cooperative, Takashi wouldn't deny that he wants to know the secrets of the titans and hopefully, be able to benefit a lot from facing his enemies. 

Watching Takashi disappear, Kenny smiled slightly and muttered, "Looks like it's true, Cordell, your son sure is willing to do it, not like you damn coward." 

... 

However, bad news soon reached Takashi's ears and he felt a nervousness run through his body. If it is true that the Rose wall was destroyed, the consequences would be unimaginable.

It was getting late at this point, but Erwin did not panic. He calmly began to gather people, prepare resources and other supplies to start marching towards the Rose wall and find out what had happened. 

In a hurry, Takashi didn't have time to think about everything he had learned, together with the others they set to work. 

"Eren, it's not good, titans appeared in Rose territory!" Armin panicked and ran into the room where Mikasa and Eren were. 

"What!" Eren was startled, and he and Mikasa quickly changed into their soldier uniforms.

Night was coming and it was now getting dark, under the pressure of the news everyone began to move. 

When Eren and the others walked to the square, they discovered that the Survey Corps had gathered hundreds of people, and even the carriages were ready. 

Eren could look at many people who were in a panic. 

You can't blame them, if the Rose Wall falls, it will truly be the end of humanity and the entire future. Just like five years ago, everyone was about to fight a war without having the chances of winning. 

"Quiet! Why are you all panicking, humanity has not been defeated! Get the torches ready to march in the dark and get yourselves in order!" Shouted Takashi to all the Survey Corps soldiers, he wasn't nervous, he was ready to face whatever was to come. 

"Understood!" They all calmed down a bit, loaded the supplies into the carriage and prepared to march through the night and investigate the situation. 

Due to his results in battle, his status as captain was retained to lead a squadron in this battle that was about to unfold. Erwin had tested Takashi's skill, so he confirmed that he was ready to be a captain. 

Petra, who was carrying boxes, found Auruo Brossard walking and couldn't help but ask, "Why are you here? Your wound hasn't healed yet." 

Auruo Brossard pointed to his head and arms which were now fine, and said calmly, "My muscles were only swollen, I don't have any broken bones like Erd." 

"Your condition is not suitable for the front line." Persuaded Petra with a worried look. 

With a slight snort, Auruo's expression was inexplicable, "Even titans appeared in Rose territory. I saw many terrified refugees on the road, I can't help but feel bad seeing the despondency on their faces." 

"Do we have the right to ask if there is a safe place in this shitty world?" 

Petra was silent for a moment, "Your appearance is quite different from usual, you look as if you have changed completely." 

Auruo Brossard forced a smile, "Really? Maybe you're right, I was able to open my mind once again." 

"I went to visit Gunther's parents this morning and his father was crying." 

Auruo Brossard recalled the words Gunther's father said, "Actually, I was against him joining the Survey Corps, but that boy I was taking care of was all grown up and had his own beliefs, we couldn't control him since he was old enough to make his own decisions." 

"Auruo boy, don't think your parents are open minded and don't object to your decisions. If you think they don't care when you go on an expedition, you are wrong." 　 

"Listen to me, quit early, you don't want your parents to be like me someday, do you?" 

Staring at Gunther's father, Auruo Brossard lost his mind, at this moment, he was very angry that he couldn't have protected his companion. 

Thinking of all this, Auruo couldn't sit still. Picking up a wooden box containing supplies, he said: "Petra, this morning Gunther's father mentioned to me that I should leave the legion, he really surprised me."

"What?" 

Auruo was depressed, "At that time, I wanted to live a stable life and get away from the Titans. And you, when you talked to his wife, did she tell you that too?"

Putting the wooden box in the carriage, Petra hesitated for a moment, "She told me to look for an honest man to marry and not to let my dad worry about it all day long." 

"And what did you tell him?" 

"I asked her, do you regret getting married? She said she didn't regret it and would make the same decision again if she went back in time." Petra's eyes were a little moist, "She said she's a stupid woman for letting her son go to the Survey Corps." 

Veterans always have this kind of confusion being in the Survey Corps, Petra, Auruo and Erd are old enough to really think about their future. 

Auruo closed his eyes and said, "I'm sorry for my parents. What I told Gunther's father is that if they all quit, would the sacrifices of all my comrades be worth it? All their lives should get a result even if they are no longer in this world." 

The secret in the basement of Eren's hometown is not something that only Eren wants to witness. 

"And indeed, I made the right decision, seeing those people leave their home breaks my heart, I don't want to imagine my parents repeating that hell from years ago." 

"If we retreat now, where do we retreat to if there are no walls? The titans have no intention of leaving us alive." 　 

"That being the case, let us fulfill the oath to give our hearts to the end!" 

They were all ready for the worst, defending the homes of their fathers, brothers and sons is the main reason for their fight. Dying knowing that you cared for someone special is the best feeling one can have. 

Takashi wanted to take everyone to a better place and was now determined to do anything to make his life in this world have a good outcome.