chapter thirteen

Music begins to play from a speaker I assume River has somewhere in the room connected to his phone.

It's a soft piano melody that makes goosebumps rise on my skin.

I'm not a big fan of instrumentals but this one wins me over.

"I feel like all of this was pre-planned," I state as I nervously watch him approach me.

Stretching out his hand, he reaches for mine and swiftly pulls me close to him without a word. — Just a smile that's doing weird things to my belly and knees.

This is not healthy.

"Your presence strikes a very innovative side of me," he says softly, almost as if he doesn't want to talk too much, "I kinda missed this."

His hands land on my waist and it takes everything in me not to just stand still and restrict any air circulation in my body by holding my breathe for as long as I can.

Without a word, I hesitantly wrap my arms around his neck and dutifully make it a mission to avoid his eyes.

Heavens know I can't take that plus all our proximity in all at once. I'm almost busting a vein from how warm I am with his hands on me.

"You said you wanted to talk?" I ask him, hoping to divert my attention from our swaying forms. And/or his rather large warm hands resting dangerously close to my behind.

"Not right now," he leans his chin on my head and pushes me closer to him.

I wish I could know what he is playing at at the moment. I just feel like he is trying to give me as many mixed signals as he possibly can all at once so that I can break at some point.

He was touchy while we were younger but he always had limits. The only one time he crossed those limits I ended up hating him.

Or so I thought.

"What did you mess up?"

"I said not right now," his lips graze my ear and I'm almost losing my mind.

His hands lay gently around my waist but they also seem kind of possessive if my brain isn't fried enough to make that conclusion.

Whenever he speaks, his voice is warm and low and almost panty dropping. Like I can feel myself vibrate to the core with how warm and smooth his voice is.

His voice could be a very good substitute to very warm molten butter.

Okay, I'm thinking crazy.

I regret the moment I try to pull away because when he pulls me back into him, there's almost no space between us. It's almost like he is hugging me to him.

One of his hand is on the back of my neck pressing my head into his chest and the other presses my back heavily so that my front is flash against his.

I'm sure we're not even on beat with the music anymore.

I know it's time to pull away when I start feeling the hard planes of his chest rub against my front and begin to really love the feeling of it.

"River," I call with a nervous laugh and I feel his arms tense around me before releasing me slowly and stepping back.

He clears his throat and turns his soft gaze to me before giving me a small smile.

"You're almost the same height you were four years ago." River says with a warm smile and I narrow my eyes at him.

He likes to tease me about my height a little too much. It's not even like I'm that short. I for once don't grow like a tree on steroids or whatever they put on them to make them grow faster.

"I don't think so," I huff out and step away from him completely.

"Mhm," He hums and I fight the urge to roll my eyes at him.

"I really need to know what you messed up. If it's something I can fix I want it done by the end of the weekend."

All the humor and liveliness leaves River in one complete motion and all that's left is a hard tensed up shell with a ticking jaw that does everything possible to avoid my narrowed gaze.

"River?" I prompt cautiously and it's almost like the tension in the room gives me a little warning of what is to come.

With a sigh, he unconsciously runs a hand through his perfectly styled hair and takes a seat on the desk beside him.

If it weren't for the tension and the fear of what was to come I would be on my knees and practically melting like hot cheese.

Swating my inappropriate thoughts out of my head, I decide to fold my hands across my chest to seem like I'm a little in control of the situation even when I'm not.

"I need you to understand where this is coming from first," he starts and I almost huff out a very aggravated sigh as if to say 'out with it'.

What I do instead is take a seat beside him on the desk and patiently wait for him to continue.

"I'm going to be King sooner than I thought. My dad thinks there's no need for me to wait any longer so he is already halfway through entrusting me with all of his powers." River says in a rushed out yet stressful tone and I sit silently beside him, listening to catch the part where he messed up. "My mom wants me to have a wife before then."

If this is going where I think it's going I'm going to kill him.

"What did you do River?" I ask in a very frightened voice.

The dance, the close proximity, the almost pleading and guilty look in his eyes, the way he was acting weird and sweet all at once... please let that just be River being him around me. I pray as fear sinks like a hard rock in the bottom of my stomach.

"I told my mom that we had previously dated and I couldn't get over you so I was trying to give us a second chance."

All the color drains from my face and I feel my throat constrict. I don't even ask him why he did this. It's such a thing he could do that it slaps me in the face.

This is what I get for agreeing to be his friend again.

"Lil-"

"This is why you wanted us to be friends? So that I could bail you out of the lie you told your mom." My voice is so heated I'm surprised at how hurt and confused I sound. "This is not fair!" There's a traitorous sting brewing behind my eyes and a very painful sting around my nose that I don't want to acknowledge.

"I'm not forcing you to go along with it, I just thought you'd help me with it." He pleads softly.

It's unlike him to plead or even speak softly to anyone. But now that I know he's only doing this to play into his perfect little lie, I force myself to ignore the plea and the softness.

"In what world did this sound like a great plan to you?" I exasperate as I let the hurt wash away for a second before the anger takes over. Anger is always good. Hurt makes you weak. Anger makes you hurt the ones that hurt you. "When did you even tell her about this? She was considering Mia a week ago!" my voice rises just a notch from the incredulity of the situation.

Then a thought hits me! It couldn't have been before we were at the ca-

"The day you were sick. I came to tell you but-"

"You saw how foolish you were and decided against it." I finish for him as the anger continues to simmer in my chest.

I know it's about to explode— and I hate that I love that it wants to explode.

"I know it's not ideal-"

" 'Not ideal'?" I scoff at the words, "Your mom thinks that we were a couple before I left and my mom is going to think that I'm the biggest liar for not telling her something like this," my nose feels warm and I know it's red but I can't get myself to calm down or to stop pacing around the room a little.

"I'm so-"

"Sorry doesn't cut this one and you know it," I throw his half assed apology at him. He doesn't go saying things like that to our parents and come back with a sorry as if it's about to fix everything.

He burned me once and I never learned. Here I am again after handing him my ass on a silver platter.

"It's not like noth-"

"Like what?" I bark at him before he can finish that sentence. My eyes are teary and burning and I have to subtly wipe the angry tears away before I can speak again, this time turning my glare at his remorseful face, "Like we haven't been together? Do you really want to put this out here now?" I ask him and his eyes turn away from me, his throat working on emotions I don't want to fathom.

When the room stays quiet for a moment I feel the hurt take over. "You know, I think part of the reason you made up that story is because of that night. It all comes down to you thinking I'm chea-"

"Both you and I know that's not the reason!" River snaps and his voice booms across the room which makes me freeze. "That's not it!" he tries to soothe quietly after his outburst.

I just stare at him as he actively tries to ignore my gaze. It's up to me to make this a screaming match or to just walk away and ignore him like I'm good at.

Deciding I'm too drained to deal with this, I let my shoulders sag and begin to walk away. If I'm any lucky, we'll never talk to each other again.

The thought scares me. Hell it even seers a painful jolt through my chest that I ignore and gun for the door.

"Lily," he calls softly and my footsteps falter but I don't stop. I just need to get to the door.

The firm yet careful grip that turns me to a hard chest is as unexpected as the breathless gasp that escapes my lips.

River's hands immediately go to cup both sides of my face as he leans down and tilts my head upwards.

The first thing I see in his eyes is regret and hurt and I feel my heart ache.

I don't want to see emotions in his eyes or face. It is easier if I left here knowing he felt nothing and that he wanted to be the villain all along. But this, this scares me. And it hurts.

"I messed up, like I always do," he starts in a very soft but committed voice and the warmth from his lips to mine makes it a little hard to concentrate and breathe. "But I'll fix it, I promise."

I try to shake my head but his hands don't let me so I instead go for licking my lips to get rid of some of the dryness that spreads all over my mouth.

From our proximity, I don't miss how his eyes shift to the action and his hooded eyes remain there a second too long before he withdraws his gaze and looks away from my face as if to scold himself from the momentary weakness.

"River," I call dejectedly, willing my eyes not to tear up. I'm okay with pushing him away from me because it feels a lot safer than the head spinning haze I get to deal with when I'm with him.

"I'll fix this, trust me." I don't know if it's the conviction or the plea in his voice but I close my eyes and nod as best as I can with his hands around my face.

"Okay." I say softly. Because I'm just that weak and when it comes to him all my rules bend and my lines blur.

"Okay." he repeats gently and hugs me close to him.