Barthomeloi(*R18*)

(Author's Note: Due to several annoying reasons I am not getting a good sleep nowadays, bruh my mind is like working on fumes)

...

Neo Pov

After having a quickie with Elsa and cleaning ourselves, we went into the dining room and sat on the chair, eating my food I said," Today I will be making Barthomeloi mine", the others stopped, and Artoria asked me seriously," My Lord do you need my assistance?", I almost coughed out the food hearing her, while Medea said," Idiot?! What help you can provide him?! Have a threesome with her and him?".

Artoria blushed hearing that and then said," I didn't mean that way! It's just if my Lord wants me to do something I am ready to do it!", her conviction was strong, Elsa chuckled hearing her and I gulped down the food and said," No need for any kind of help, I just wanted you guys to know about it".

Elsa smiled and said," Master, no need to worry after all I don't care how many women you have", I felt butterflies in my stomach hearing that, Artoria nodded and said," As your mere knight I don't have any opinions", although hearing that makes me relieved but her dedication to serving me is really over the top, although fine I need to solve her inferiority complex.

Medea pouted and crossing arms she said," It is fine, having a harem for a strong man was common during my time also not like she can compare to my position, hmph!", Artoria looked at her weirdly then continued eating food ignoring her, Elsa teased her," You are jealous right?".

"Indeed I am but I need to control it", she replied, I said," Thanks for that Medea", she blushed and then nervously said," I didn't mean anything bad Dear! It's just I am indeed a tiny bit jealous but I will make sure to control this feeling for your sake", her voice turned low, I moved and hugged her surprising her, then caressing her Elf like ears I said," Don't worry I will drown you in my love that this feeling won't come again"

She snuggled on my chest and then looking at me cutely she said,"❤~Dear~❤", she blushed aggressively feeling my hands moving and fondling her butt, Artoria meanwhile coughed and shouted, "Lady Elsa please give me a few more foods of the plate!", Medea froze and then turning towards her she angrily asked," How you dare ruin the mood with my Dear Neo!!".

Artoria gave her a plain look and said while sipping the soup," I don't know what you mean", a vein appeared on Medea's face as she said creepily," Haha then I will dress you in hundreds of cute dresses that I have in store Saber", Artoria's face turned serious, she stood up gulping down all the soup and then said," Like I will let you touch my body!!".

I felt my headache seeing the scene and then asked," You know I am here right?", they froze as their faces became pale, and looking at me they nervously shrieked, Medea came and hugged me and said," I am sorry Dear! I didn't mean to give you a headache", Artoria knelt and looking ashamed she said," Punish me, My Lord, for my bad behavior".

I sighed and said," It's fine, but I don't want you all fighting each other okay?", They nodded rapidly like chickens pecking rice, after that, I talked with Elsa a bit and teleported away.

...

3rd Pov

As Neo teleported away, Artoria stood up with a guilty face," My Lord had to say that twice and I failed to follow his previous request, how unsightly of me", she said and then looking at Medea she bowed down and said," I apologize for my earlier rudeness, I shouldn't have done that to Lord's Mistress while being his mere servant".

Medea didn't know how to reply to that, but from her earlier interactions with Artoria she knew the girl in front of her was simply obsessed and loved Neo dearly but she also had an inferiority complex, Medea felt guilty and said," What are you doing? Didn't dear already say you are his queen as well?! Let's stop this meaningless fight it doesn't fit with our character".

"Fine", replies Artoria then looking at her she says," Just keep your filthy hands away from me", Medea's smile froze and Elsa felt a headache seeing this.

...

Neo Pov

Not knowing the storm that is continuing, I happily entered my room to find Waver, he stood up and greeted me," Hello, Director Sir", he said a bit awkwardly not able to find words I chuckled seeing him and replied," Just Neo is fine, you are my friend after all?", he nodded happily, it seems I have stolen Melvin's self-proclaimed best friend, haha, but Waver is a respectable guy, he is loyal and I can leave all the work on him when I travel to other worlds or go for a vacation.

I am also going to pay him for this in the future by increasing his talent, though for now, I would like for him to do what he is doing, I sat on my chair and made myself comfortable and then asked him," So, Why are you here?", he replied me," Actually, It's,*Sigh* I want a favor from you".

I nodded unbothered and then asked," What favor do you want?", he replied," I heard what happened to Lord Kayneth, and I feel guilty", I understood where it is going, if I am not wrong this is the plot of Lord El Melloi-II, the story of what happens to Waver after the Fourth Holy grail War, but he is supposed to become the professor after three years of traveling around the world.

Knowing that the story is derailed, I didn't care about it much and replied," No need to feel guilty about his death, Holy Grail War is supposed to be a deadly battle after all", he shook his head and clenched his fists he said," If I hadn't stolen Iskandar's relic then maybe he hadn't died, his death is my fault", I sighed, even if the events played out differently he is still the same Waver Velvet.

"I thought you didn't like him?", I asked causing him to reply," I don't like him as a person but as Magus, he is the person who taught me and several other students I respect him and know because of his death then El-mellow classroom will suffer greatly if it gets closed then several students like me who don't have anywhere to go will suffer greatly!".

I nodded and said," I see where are you going, but it's better if you get straight on the point instead of dragging this too long", he clenched his fists hearing that and replied," I want to take over the El-Melloi classroom!", hearing that I started laughing, "Hahaha, consider me impressed you managed to make me laugh", I said, it was hilarious to hear from his current self, I mean his future self might be a badass lecturer, teacher, explorer, and Detective but current him is nothing but a wimp.

He blushed heavily in embarrassment, it seems to him that I was making fun of him, "I guess you can laugh at me, a 3rd-Rate Magus like me barely being able to perform Magecraft talking about taking over a Classroom which provides Elite course, while having no to little money, oh man I am so pathetic", he said.

Damn, did he just go into self-loath mode? Sorry Waver I need trusted help so even if you want I won't let your spirit break and thus with a smile I said," Not at all! You have me impressed with your will, though your objective is somewhat foolish if you want to become the El-Melloi Classroom's teacher, then just say it, you will become the teacher of that so-called Elite course, and never forget your friend is the Director of Mage Association".

His eyes twinkled as he looked at me, he quickly stood from his chair and gave me a deep bow," Thank you Neo! I would never forget this favor", I stood and moved near him, I patted his shoulder," Anyway before you go on to become the teacher of the El-Melloi classroom you will need some practical experience so how about traveling around the world for some practical experience?".

He replied," Well after Rider told me on traveling the world instead of holing myself in a room and studying all day I too had plans to travel but after the previous talk with you I decided to delay it but now that you say it again, I guess I will be traveling for some time", I quickly created 10,000 Pounds bundle of Notes and threw at him, he precisely caught it and looking at it he gasped," Wait, 10,000 Pound!".

I replied," Before you say I don't want it, keep it, this amount of money is nothing to me and I would not want you to get stuck somewhere in your trip due to having no money, as the future assistant of the Director of Mages Association it would be an extremely shameful thing", hearing my words he decisively kept the money in his pocket and said," Thanks for everything, Now I should go and prepare for my journey, I would like to start my journey quickly".

I quickly came in front of him surprising him, as to him it looked like teleportation and I said," Do you remember the thesis you presented to Kayneth before the Holy Grail War", he asked me confused," Yes, the conjecture that Magical Power can be increased by talent, I know it was stupid but why are you asking me it?".

I placed my hand on his shoulder and the next moment, he in shock looked at his body as several new Magical Circuits appeared in his body, by now he was completely shocked as he knew the meaning of what I did," Neo-, Yo-You", he stuttered not being able to speak his words properly.

I smirked and said," Remember I am a true Magician right? To me, it's a small matter to increase someone's Magical Circuits, and while I haven't increased your Affinity for elements I guess you can figure something out right? Go and show me that you are capable of being my assistant and your conviction is not some empty words".

He calmed himself down and replied," I will! I will prove myself to you", an invisible fire of conviction burned inside him while I nodded,' The stronger you are, the more capable you will be for me to dump all the work on you ', I thought silently, while he looked at me gratefully unaware of his bleak future and thus thanking me for a last time he left. Anyway, it's time for a Waifu hunt.

...

30 Minutes later,

Barthomeloi entered my room, gave me a bow respectfully, and asked," Lord Director is there anything I can help you with?", I smiled at her and standing up from the chair, I walked towards her silently, standing in front of her I grabbed her chin by surprised and then moved forward to kiss, she blushed slightly before closing her eyes.

"❤~Slurrp~❤Slurrrp~❤Slurrrp~❤"

I didn't hold back and using the kissing skills I gained till now I attacked her with my tongue invading her mouth and tasting her sweet saliva, with the pleasure multiplied severalfold from me using Heaven's Feel to transfer a small portion of the pleasure she is getting directly to her soul she melted in my embrace and started kissing me more aggressively and she wrapped her hands around me.

"❤~Slurrp~❤Slurrp~❤Slurrrp~❤"

The erotic sound of our passionate kisses filled the room, I started fondling her ass enjoying the softness from the fabric, and I must say she does have a good body, my cock was already hard threatening to break from the pants, her hazy eyes looked directly at my eyes with lust as she left the hold of her hand from my back and her hand moved over my pants as she started caressing the bulge in my pant.

We broke our kiss, and several thin linings of saliva formed between our mouths as we separated our tongues breaking once we reached some distance, she looked at me and said,"~Neo let me handle your cock~", she started breathing heavily once she finished saying that while inhaling my scent perversely I slapped her ass making them jiggle and causing her to yelp.

"Master, call me Master", I ordered her domineeringly, she nodded her head quickly like a chicken pecking rice, then grabbing her hand which had stopped caressing my bulge I moved them to caress and then said," Now it's time for you to put your mouth into good use", her body trembled as she replied flushed, "Ye-Yes", I slapped her ass again causing her to yelp.

"Didn't I say just right now? Call me Master", I said and she said," Yes Master!", I quickly used my magic to make us naked, and our clothes vanished she took notice of it and looked at me with, heat, she knelt before me and took a good lock at my cock soaring proudly, she gulped and continued looking it daze, seeing this I said," Barthomeloi why are you still?", my stern voice broke her daze.

She quickly replied," I apologize, Master, I will begin now", she then quickly took out her small tongue and gave a lick on the tip of my cock, closing my eyes I enjoyed the feeling of her soft tongue licking my cock, she coated my cock with her saliva and then began the blowjob, she took a small portion of my cock in her mouth and started moving her mouth to-and-fro.

"❤~Slurrrp~❤Ghurrrrk~❤Slurrrrp~❤Ghurrrk~❤"

I could hear the erotic sound of her sucking my cock, it just made me feel lustier and increased my mental pleasure remembering currently the strongest Mage of the era is giving me a blowjob, I put my hand on her head and opened my eyes I looked at her, seeing me looking at her with her lust filled eyes she started moving faster taking more of my girth in her mouth trying her best to give me the best blowjob.

"❤~Slurrrp~❤Ghurrrrk~❤Ghurrrrk~❤Slurrrrp~❤"

She did her best and succeeded in taking half of my cock inside her mouth by now, I grunted in pleasure as I felt my cock invading her small mouth, her blowjob wasn't perfect and even sloppy with her teeth occasionally hitting my cock, but my endurance was high enough to ignore any pain from that, thus I fully enjoyed this.

"❤~Ghurrrk~❤Slurrrp~❤Sluuurrrrp~❤"

She continued with the blowjob passionately, I rubbed her head with my hand praising and encouraging her to continue doing that, and enjoyed the feeling wholly grunting or moaning slightly, soon my cock started throbbing and I grabbed her head with force surprising her, her eyes turned towards me and I smirked and said, "Take your reward".

I pushed my whole cock inside her mouth gagging her, then I continued mouth-f*cking her while tears rolled from the corner of her eyes, soon I thrust my cock inside her throat and held her head in place," Take this!", said so I released all my seeds accumulated till now inside her mouth, she started gulping down trying to take all but failed as some leaked from her mouth.

I left the hold of her head letting her head back off, she started coughing as soon as she took my cock out of her mouth and then gave me a look, something I know, a look of a woman who wants to be banged,"❤~Master, take my virginity~❤". I rubbed her head as she moved her head enjoying my head pat and then did something surprising as she took my fingers in her mouth and started sucking and licking them.

I smirked seeing this and said," Oh my, now that I see there is a puddle of your vaginal liquids below you, how shameless you are!", she became surprised and looked below her vagina leaking liquids like crazy, she blushed in shame, and I said," You need to be punished for this right?", she trembled and said, "I-Mas-Ye", she struggled to speak, I sternly said," You need to be punished!!".

She trembled and then looking at me while breathing heavily she said,"~Yes!! Master punish me!! Claim my dirty pussy as yours!! Make me moan like a b*tch under your strong body!!~", damn, her reply even took me by a surprise, though only slightly, as the next moment with a smirk on my face, I took her in my arms in a princess carry, and then quickly moved to the bedroom and throwing her on the bed I said," Get ready to become my woman".

She looked at me in anticipation, quickly spreading her leg to show me her clean shaved pussy, I looked at her forbidden place closed by two pink folds, and moving towards her, I positioned my cock at her and finally with a bit of affection, I said," You can call me Neo, for now", one thing I especially cared was the first time of my women, I wanted them to be more intimate and special.

"~Master, I want to call you Master~", she said while looking at me hazily, well I guess it works too, and thus without speaking any further I pushed my cock inside her vagina, my cock met a small resistance which is her hymen before tearing it directly and hitting the cervix strongly,"❤~Ahhhhhhh!!~❤Masterrrr~❤", she moaned loudly, but not from the pain of her hymen tearing, but from the increased pleasure which overshadowed the pain.

*Plap* *Plap* *Plap* *Plap*

"❤~Ahhh!~❤Soo goood~❤Masterrrr~❤"

I started thrusting my cock inside her womb, enjoying the pleasure I got from my cock wrapped by her tight vaginal wall as if trying to squeeze every drop of my cum and begging for me to impregnate her, I put my hands on her bountiful chest, which were quite perky and soft, thus with this, I started mating with her.

*Palp* *Palp* *Palp* *Palp*

"❤~F*ck me~❤Moreeee~❤Ahhhhh!~❤Mashterrr~❤"

I moved towards her breast and gave them hickeys, sucking off her nipples and then bitting them, along with my cock that was thrusting inside her vagina crazily shaping her womb into mine shape, I started giving bite marks on her neck marking her as mine, she just moaned helplessly unable to do anything due to her mind getting clouded from the intense pleasure.

*Palp* *Palp* *Palp* *Palp*

"❤~AHhhhhh!~❤Ahhh~❤Ahhhhh~❤"

I enjoyed the look on her face as she moaned under me, it felt me with satisfaction, I started moving my hips faster giving her stronger and faster thrusts, her vagina has already begun taking my shape, I moved and grabbed her one leg moving them in N position and continued banging her, I could feel my cock hitting different spots due to slight change in position and the pleasure of her soft vaginal walls clenching around my cock made me moan in pleasure.

*Palp* *Palp* *Palp* *Palp*

"❤~Ahhh~❤Ahhhhhh!~❤Ahhh!!~❤"

I started moving faster as I felt my cock throbbing, moving near her neck I kissed there and then started thrusting rapidly, my cock pierced through her womb and started reaching even deeper, she moaned louder due to this, and the bed swayed heavily due to our passionate love-making, I pushed my whole cock inside her womb and then holding her leg I said," I am coming!".

I released my hot semen directly inside her womb filling it to the brim just with the sheer amount as it made her belly bulge slightly,"❤~Su Hutttt!~❤", she said in gibberish loudly, her tongue came out as she made an ahegao with tears slightly dripping from her eyes, I moaned finished releasing all my semen and then slowly took out my cock outside from her pussy.

Her body twitched as she got an electric shock, I looked at her pussy to see a mixture of the huge amount of my semen and her love juices coming out of her pussy, with a slight tint of red which was her blood, I decided to let her regain her mind before continuing, hehe, this is just the beginning.

...

3rd Pov,

Meanwhile back at Neo's residence, Medea gasped in shock looking at the food Artoria prepared, and commented wholeheartedly," I am impressed, you somehow managed to make an E+ rank poison from common ingredients with none of them even being slightly poisonous", Artoria's eyebrows twitched as she heard that while looking at the poisonous looking food she made.

Even though she knew it was anything but good, Elsa tried her best to control her laugh as she found this situation too amusing, Artoria seeing this looks down ashamed while clenching her fists," How? how?! can it be so difficult to cook food!", she shouted, while Elsa was unable to hold her laughter any longer and started Elsa laughing loudly as Medea too joined her laughing at poor Artoria who started to doubt life.

It started with both Medea and Saber taking cooking classes from Elsa, who knew every dish Neo liked, they wanted him to please after the embarrassing display of their food previously, while Medea slowly improved in her cooking skills, Saber's cooking just worsened and today she performed a miracle by making an E+ poison with common ingredients.

Saber trembled ashamed looking disheartened, seeing this Elsa and Medea stopped laughing knowing they took it too far," Don't worry Artoria, you don't need to cook, I will make everything you and Master ever need", Elsa said and Medea nodded while saying," I will too!", Saber looked at them seriously and said resolutely," I won't give up! No matter how many days! Months or Years take! I will learn cooking!!".

Medea and Elsa looked at her awkwardly while thinking in their mind,' Why she looks like she is preparing for a bloody battle? ', finally Elsa coughed gaining both of their attention, and said," Now before we progress any further let's find out the reason why are you so bad at cooking", Medea nodded and said," That's smart Elsa! If we can somehow know the reason behind Artoria's tunability to cook we might be able to teach her how to cook things that aren't poisonous".

Artoria hearing that just nodded ignoring some of their sarcastic remarks," I did manage to make some passable food previously after following my Chef's recipe", hearing that Medea's ears perked and she asked," Your chef?", she nodded and said," Yes, I followed the recipe that my Royal Chefs used to make food in my previous life".

Elsa frowned and asked," Artoria, although I don't want to sound rude that food is nowhere good tasting, it is even quite bad still how did you manage to eat every day, and did anyone else didn't comment about that, or the food during your time tasted like that?".

Artoria became silent and pondered for a bit and then said," About that..."

*Artoria's Flashback*

One could see several people wearing knightly clothes sitting around a table, they were none other than Artoria and her Knights of Round Table, everyone looked at the food a bit reluctantly which didn't miss Artoria's eyes, she took a sip of the soup and thought,' It's fine, though a bit blander than normally it does have all nutrients that Merlin told me about, is it not good? '.

To confirm her suspicions she suddenly asked," Tell me why haven't you all started, is the food not good?", the knights trembled hearing that, and then putting up the most sincere smile they could on their faces they started eating it quickly, Bedivere said," It was just we were surprised by how good it smelled My King! Right everyone?".

Everyone nodded rapidly and said," Yes!", Gawain suddenly gulped down all the soup down his throat, tears dripping from his eyes as he said loudly," This is so delicious!", everyone agreed with him and started eating food happily, Artoria turned towards the only person still having half of her face covered in metal and asked," Sir Morded how is the food for you?".

Mordred who hasn't said anything till now said with a slightly cheerful voice," My King! Food is tasty as always and your bright presence has just made it tastier!!", Artoria just gave a small nod on that not knowing the ugly expression of Morded under her Helmet, she continued eating the food and suddenly in the middle Gareth puked down all the food freezing everyone.

Once Gareth finished puking, seeing the mess she caused looked at King Arthur(Artoria) and said," Sorry My King! I just have a bad stomach today, and food is too delicious for my stomach to take it!", Artoria looked suspiciously and seeing that quickly Bedivere and Gawain gulped down another bowl of soup and then putting their hands on each other's shoulder they said," It's so delicious! I can't stop crying from sheer happiness!"," This food is so delicious", tears dripped from their eyes like a dam has opened as they moved to-and-fro chanting happily.

Others too laughed and ate food happily while singing and praising their king, aka Artoria who just nodded satisfied seeing her Knights too happy today from eating delicious food and thought,' It must be me who was wrong, I guess this food is delicious ', she continued eating silently and by the time she had finished eating her food, five of her knights had fainted.

Bedivere, Gawain, and Tristan happily explained that they fainted from eating such delicious food, Artoria just gave a small nod on the matter as her knights frequently fainted after eating good food for some reason, thus it wasn't a surprising matter though it was for the first time that five of her knights fainted at once.

*Flashback Over*

Artoria finished recounting the most cheerful day of her knights related to the food they ate, Medea and Elsa looked at her as if they were looking at some dumb person, she puffed her cheeks and angrily asked," Why are you both looking at me like that?!!". Medea and Elsa started laughing unable to stop their laughter, just now hearing Artoria's story they were questioning themselves if this girl had mental problems or not.

Artoria summoned Excalibur in her hand and pointing it at them angrily asked," Tell me! Why are you laughing at me?!!", Medea and Elsa seeing that Artoria might erupt like a volcano stopped laughing and looked Nevrously at the Excalibur she is holding, Medea gave a look at Elsa who just sighed helplessly seeing her look and came forward.

Artoria loosened the grip on her Sword seeing Elsa has come forward, due to the fact she had a better relationship with her than Medea and the fact she was the first woman of her Master/Lord/Dear and she knew her Master cared and loved her a lot, finally Elsa started explaining to her how her knights always lied about food as to not make her feel bad.

Finally understanding the main reason behind their laugh she clenched her fists!, "How dare they! Because of them I had to continue eating bad food while I missed tasting the delicious food!!", she said angrily cursing at her knights while the other two girls looked at Baffled.'She got some screw loose after becoming an Alter ', Medea thought in her mind.

Artoria then again looked at the E+Rank Poison she concot*ahem* made by mistake, and then with fire in her eyes she looked at Elsa gaining her attention, and said," Lady Elsa please teach me how to cook food! I know I am very bad at cooking but please! For mine and master's stomach's sake, I need to learn!", Elsa seeing Artoria being such fired up sweated a bit nervously and replied, "It- I will teach you! Don't worry! I have been teaching you till now right?! I will make you good cook!".

Artoria glanced at Elsa like she was looking at an Angel and said genuinely grateful," Thank you Lady Elsa!", then she closed her eyes imagining the scene of her serving her self-made food to Neo.

*Artoria Imagination*

"I can't believe it! You made such delicious food! It is even more impressive than what Elsa cooks", Neo praised her causing her to blush and reply," It's not that much My Lord, I have been trying to be a good Queen and Knight, I hope you like my humble treat".

Neo nodded and then he started eating, finally, Artoria looked at the food and started eating it, by the end, she had finished tens of plates of food and sat satisfied," The food I made is so delicious", she narcissistically praised herself. Out of surprise, Neo took her in their arms and then said," My dear Artoria, you made me such delicious food and worked so hard for it, that's why I will reward you! We will have a personal vacation for a few weeks, just you and me enjoying World's all cuisine in the day and..."

"And?", Artoria asked with a heavy blush despite knowing where it is going, "And we will make love all night", he finished his words making Artoria breathe heavily," I love you, Neo!", she said and kissed him passionately, then they started making love passionately and next day went on world tour leaving Medea and Elsa alone.

*Artoria's Imagination*

"Hehe My Lord, I am really not that worthy", said Artoria as she giggled happily while Medea and Elsa looked at her concerned,' Elsa she is going crazier day by day we should report it to Dear ', said Medea using Mental Link Magecraft to Elsa who replied,' If we would report it now when she hadn't done anything she might accuse of us bullying her and let's not worry dear anymore he hates us fighting '.

'Fine, but we need to somehow make her... What to say Normal? ', said Medea unsure of which word to use, they looked into each other's eyes and nodded.

While Artoria who was dreaming of making food tastier than Elsa did another miracle by the end of the day.

"It's a D Rank Poison", said Medea as her eyebrows twitched, Elsa looked at it speechlessly, even Poison Alchemist Mages take years to master an E- Rank poison while Artoria made a D rank one so easily, Artoria meanwhile fell on the floor on her four arms and started doubting life," No my world tour", she said sorrowfully.

To be continued...

(Author's Note: Want to find out whether Saber finally will be able to make the food she dreams of or A+ Rank poison by the end of the year? Keep reading my fanfic and please vote!)