Chapter 5

Cliff's car stopped right in front of my apartment building. We were silent during the entire ride from Ronald's house party.

"How are you feeling?" he finally spoke as he powered off the car engine. He turned to look at me.

"I'm sorry. I think I ruined the party," I said, almost whispering.

"What happened with Ronald? Is he your boyfriend?" he asked.

"No. I don't know. I told you I don't have a boyfriend. I was just damn scared," I said.

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from crying. But I eventually broke down. The tears I held back since a while ago eventually trickled down my cheeks. I covered my face with both of my hands.

He gently pulled me closer for a comforting hug.

"Sshh... I believe you. It's alright now. I got you," he said. He lightly stroked my back to ease my anxiety.

Cliff released me when I calmed down a bit. He got out of the car and walked around to open the door at my side. Then he assisted me as I exited the vehicle. Once I was safely out, he walked me to the door of my apartment.

"Would you like some coffee? You can come inside," I invited.

He looked at me intently before he spoke. "May I? I don't think I can leave you looking so down like that. I believe you need some friendly company. You can talk to me."

I smiled and then opened the door. I walked in knowing he was right behind me. He was the one who closed the door. I walked right into the living room, slumped down on the couch then breathed in and out.

"Would you allow me to make some coffee in your kitchen?" he asked.

"Yes, please. Feel at home. Help yourself with anything. I'm sorry, I'm still flustered by what happened," I said.

"I understand. I will make our coffee. Hang in there a bit," he said before disappearing into the kitchen.

After a few minutes, he came back to the living room carrying a small tray with two smoking cups of coffee. He placed the tray down on the center table. Then he handed me a cup and sat down beside me holding his own cup.

He looked at me intently. I understood that he was waiting for me to open up to him. I turned to face him as I sipped my coffee. The warm aroma of caffeine finally pacified my disconcerted senses.

"Thank you, Cliff. I really appreciate what you did for me back there," I said.

"Don't mention it, bella. I did what I had to do. What Ronald did was awfully wrong," he said.

I sighed before I spoke.

"Ronald... he had long expressed his interest in me. He got frustrated when I could not reciprocate his feelings. I think I understand where his anger is coming from. I probably led him on, gave him false hopes and mixed signals," I explained.

He shook his head before he spoke.

"Don't defend him. Even if he thinks you led him on, it was still wrong of him to force you like that. He should have respected your decision," he said.

"What would you have done if you were in his shoes?" I asked.

"I will still pursue you... but not in that way. You are important to me and I will never embarrass you like that in front of people. No sane guy will do that to the girl they really like," he said.

I stared at him. His expression was dead serious as he stared back at me.

"So you mean to imply that Ronald was really a jerk for what he did?" I said, smiling to lighten the atmosphere.

He chuckled, his dimple revealing itself and causing my heart to skip not just one beat.

"Yeah, he's insane and a total douchebag," he said.

A moment later, he sighed and spoke again.

"By the way, what's up with you and Katherine?" he asked. "I noticed you were upset with her back at the party."

Oh, so he did notice. How thoughtful of him!

"Katherine..." I sighed and scratched my forehead before continuing. "She and I got a history that goes back quite a long time."

"I understand, Fiona. You don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable. I can wait until you're ready to talk about it," he said.

"It's okay, Cliff. I trust you anyway. You already told me a lot about you so it's only right that I should also tell you my story," I said.

He nodded and waited for me to continue.

"Katherine is my stepsister," I started. "We were the best of friends back in grade school... until my parents divorced when I was in high school. We found out that... my Dad had an affair with Katherine's widowed mom. Dad eventually married her mom in just four months following the divorce of my parents...

"And then my sweet friendship with Katherine went sour along the way. Things were never the same again. At first, I thought she could not accept how the image of her biological dad was replaced in their family by my dad. She used to be her daddy's little girl...

"In time... I noticed how my dad's presence warmed up to her eventually. And then she started wanting to be like my dad's real daughter. But her efforts always failed because my dad always included me in everything. My dad still really loves me too much to forget about me despite her new family."

"So she did not want you to be her stepsister then. I do not understand. You were best friends, right?" he asked.

"Apparently, she did not like how my dad, and even her mom, continued to favor me despite my dad being now married into their family. Kath just needs to grow up a bit. She's used to having her way all the time when her own dad was still alive," I said.

Cliff did not say a word. He simply nodded.

"I'm probably boring you with all this drama. I'm sorry," I said, chuckling a bit.

He laughed. I watched him as he placed his empty coffee cup back into the tray. He took away the one I was holding as well. Then he pulled me closer to him and snuggled with me on the couch.

I did not react to his gesture, afraid that I might only spoil the mood. Deep inside, I felt the shivers running up and down my spine, and then straight into my bone marrow.

I loved the warm feeling of his chest against my back while his strong arms hugged me close to him. He kissed the top of my head. I heard him heave a sigh.

"You can tell me anything, bella. I don't mind the drama if I can help you ease the burden you're feeling," he said.

"Just... don't do it too often," he continued with a chuckle.

"What? So it does bore you!" I said, laughing and turning to face him.

His smoky gray eyes sparkled with amusement when he looked at me. His hands slipped around my waist and gently pulled me closer to him.

"Eres tan hermosa (You are so beautiful). Have I told you that I really like you?" he asked.

"Nope. But you just did," I said in almost a whisper.

I felt my cheeks blushing. And then I saw the passion that grew in his eyes as he stared back at me.

"I would love to have you right now. I hope you don't mind," he said. His voice sounded husky and low.

Oh. My. God! What???

What he said caught me by surprise. I opened my mouth to speak but, for seconds, I could not find my voice. My mind went blank and my heart palpitated. Oh my! What should I do?

"I don't..." I started to speak, but he cut me off when his lips passionately met mine without any warning. Once again, I found myself responding to his kiss with equal fervor.

One of his hands found its way to the back of my neck, pulling my head closer and deepening his kiss. Our tongues torridly intertwined, each wanting to get a taste of the other. Like a shot of sangria freshly poured from the wine bottle, the kiss was deep, ardent, and insanely arousing. I was powerless to hold back the moans that escaped my mouth.

He lifted me a bit, adjusting my position, and then I felt my back hit the couch. He hovered over me, our lips still locked against each other in a passionate hunger. My moans grew a bit louder as his hands started to caress the intimate parts of my body.

My hands caught the bottom of his shirt and lifted the garment up. My palms slid on his bare solid chest. I watched him as he straightened up and took his shirt off. Then he bent back down and planted hot wet kisses on my neck. He lightly bit and sucked on my skin, sending tiny tingling sensations down to the core of my feminity.

"Oh, Cliff..." I called out to him as I moaned, feeling helpless and needy.

I realized now how much I craved his touch. This newfound sensation was strangely foreign to me, yet it was so exhilarating that I could not help but want more of it by instinct... and that instinct only yearns for Cliff. No one else had ever made me this excited!

My mind went blank. I could not think about anything else. It seemed like my senses were all lost in the heat of that very moment.

"Cliff! Oh! Ah..." I could not help but moan as he went on to caress the center of my core.

My subconscious told me that we should not be doing this but I could not muster the strength and the will to stop him. His sensual touch was just so aggressively passionate and liberated. It was pure unadulterated bliss!

Oh, Cliff! What have you done to me? I never ached for anything or anyone like this before!

Cliff rolled to the side and we suddenly got outbalanced. We fell off the couch with a loud thud against the carpet on the floor. I was now on top of him. I lifted my head and stared at him. I somehow felt disoriented, as if we were just woken up from a romantic dream.

He laughed in amusement when he saw the expression on my face. I frowned.

"What just happened?" I asked, flabbergasted at the sudden halt of our passionate kissing.

"Don't mind it, bella," he said, pulling my head back down to him. His hand held the back of my neck and then our lips met again in a deep, ardent kiss.

"Cliff... I... I think... we should stop," I whispered in between kisses. I knew that I sounded confused, though.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked, pausing to look at me.

His question sounded rhetorical. I just stared silently back at him. My wits had gone haywire, I could not think properly anymore. Then the corner of his mouth slowly curved into a smile. He seemed to have sensed my longing as he looked deep into my eyes.

He parted the hair that covered my cheek. And then his thumb slowly traced my lips. In one swift movement, he switched our positions and he was on top of me again. Then he wasted no time and at once locked his lips with mine.

His hands worked on to continue exploring my body. And I got so lost in ecstasy that I failed to notice how my clothes disappeared like magic. I felt naked, powerless, and oh so vulnerable.

Suddenly feeling shy, my hands moved to cover my intimate parts. But his strong hand seized both of my wrists and held them right above my head. I was unable to move as his gaze slowly traveled down my physique. My breathing hitched as I anticipated his next move.

He swallowed hard and whispered, "¡Dios Mío, eres tan hermosa (My God, you are so beautiful)!"

Then without another word, his lips found mine in a searing French kiss. One of his hands still secured my wrists, while the other caressed the intimate parts of me that ached for his touch.

"Ah, Cliff! Oh! Ah..." I found it harder and harder to tone down my uncontrollable moans, especially when I felt the solid presence of his masculine erection at my center.

Now skin on skin, the intensified sensation was more than I could handle. I was vulnerably bare and his strong grip made me unable to move. He was dominantly positioned between my parted thighs. I did not have a choice but to close my eyes and give in to the wild surge of bodily heat and passion.

"Te haré mía, amor (I will make you mine, love). Tu eres mia (You are mine)," he said. His breathing was heavy and his forehead sweat trickled down his face.

I just stared at him. I had no idea what to reply anyway. Nervousness got to me all of a sudden when he gently adjusted his angle on top of me.

"Cliff, wa—" I anxiously called out but he muted me as his tongue invaded my mouth and torridly sought out mine.

Then in one slow and forceful thrust, he entered me. I whimpered in his kiss as I felt the onslaught of pain in my feminine core. Finally, he let go of my wrists and his hands moved to gently rub my skin in a soft caress. My fingernails clawed at his back as I automatically clung to him tightly for dear support.

He wanted me and I wanted him back. The feeling of attraction was mutual. At that very moment, we were drawn to each other — mind, body, and soul. And just like that, we spent the night together drowning in hot steamy passion. Yes, we were on the carpeted floor but it did not even matter.

He was my first — the first guy to make me feel and want something like this... The first guy EVER to make me want to surrender my whole self to him. I had never felt so exhilarated at wanting something so badly in my life.

The next day...

I woke up on the couch. A smile escaped my lips as I stretched my naked body. I noticed that I was now neatly covered in a soft white fabric. I recognized it immediately as my blanket from the bed in my room. I roamed my eyes around the living room until I realized that there was no sign of Cliff.

I slowly sat up, wincing in pain as I felt how sore I was. I looked down and sighed at the sight of bloodstain on the carpet. My hand flew to smack my own forehead.

Oh, right! Something happened last night. It wasn't a dream!

I bit my thumbnail and leaned on the couch. The scenes from last night replayed in my head like a multimedia slideshow.

I winced again when I remembered how I cried. And why not? I had watched porn before so I knew Cliff was bigger than average. That was why my first time hurt like hell. At first, he took it real slow and gentle... and then he was suddenly fast and got more aggressive as he progressed.

I could not even tell if I did experience what they called... What's the term again? Maybe because I was a virgin. But Cliff sure took his time last night. I knew that he waited for me to feel some sort of satisfaction. And he did everything in his capability to make sure that we both enjoyed it. But hell, it still darned hurt!

My wandering thoughts paused when I noticed a note beside my phone on the center table.

"Buenos dias, bella! I went back to my place. You slept so cutely. I did not bother to wake you up. I made a simple breakfast for you in the kitchen. Eat and take care. Later," the note read.

I smiled. That was very sweet and romantic of him. I wondered what sort of simple breakfast he prepared for me. Then I remembered that I only had a half loaf of wheat bread, eggs, canned goods, and instant noodles in my kitchen.

My beeping phone startled me a bit. It went on repeatedly and I lost count of how many social media notifications and texts I received. I got a feeling that they were all from my friends, probably demanding the juicy details from last night's hiatus.

I decided to ignore my beeping phone. Instead, I got up and went upstairs to the bathroom for a shower.

I was already in pajamas when I went down to the kitchen. That refreshing bath I enjoyed had somehow eased my soreness. It was Sunday and I wanted to stay at home. I planned to waste the entire day with a marathon of Asian TV dramas to distract my mind from things.

After making myself a cup of coffee, I turned my attention to the 'simple breakfast' that Cliff prepared. What was on the menu? Two egg sandwiches, a full bowl of instant noodles, and two cans worth of corned tuna in one plate. Well? I got myself an entire day's meal! How the hell does he expect me to eat all these for breakfast alone?!

Monday.

My steps were heavy as I walked on campus. To be honest, I still was not able to move on from the scandal that happened at Ronald's house party last Saturday.

"And there she goes! The slut who ruined the best party of the year!"

I turned my head upon hearing Katherine's sudden unwarranted announcement of my arrival. Unfortunately, we crossed paths along the way to my class. I rolled my eyes and shook my head in disbelief. Just my luck! Tsk!

Katherine smirked sarcastically at me. I ignored her and walked past her glaring squad. I would not let them ruin my day. At least not today!

I had a great sleep. I woke up feeling awesome. It seemed like nothing could bring my spirit down that day.

Or so I thought...

"Clifford, honey!" Katherine called out, a hint of excitement in her voice.

I paused in my tracks and turned around to look at them.

"Katherine! Hi! How are you doing?" Cliff greeted with a casual tone.

He wore a warm smile on his face as he approached them. Stopping in front of their group, his arms flew open and surrounded my nemesis in a bear hug. As if by instinct, my brow automatically rose.

Katherine looked so thrilled with Cliff's gesture. Without another word, she tiptoed and kissed him quickly on the lips. The kiss was short but it lingered and looked sweet... so heartbreakingly sweet. WHAT is the meaning of this?!!

The worst thing was that Cliff did not bother to pull away. He did not kiss her back, though, but the fact remained that he just let her kiss him like that. He did not seem bothered by it a bit. It looked like he even enjoyed it. A KISS ON THE LIPS? Oh, come on!

I even saw them whisper to each other! Cliff laughed at whatever it was that Katherine said to him. A deep exasperated breath escaped my mouth. I turned my back and abruptly walked away. And then, I heard him...

"Fiona! Wait," Cliff called out.

Apparently, he saw me. Yup! He saw me and yet he let her kiss him right in front of me! I never felt so aggravated in my life. In my mind, I silently ranted to myself...

So what does it matter to you? Are you two dating? No, you're NOT! Yes, you had sex but it does not mean you're dating him already. Casual sex is casual sex. Right! You do not owe each other anything. He can kiss anyone he wants for all I care! And, oh, I can absolutely do the same! What the hell is happening to me by the way?!

I walked fast, almost running, until I was sure that he was not following me anymore.

When my lunchtime class was dismissed, Maddie and the girls were already waiting for me by the hallway outside my classroom. I instantly smiled as I approached them.

"We ran into Cliff a while ago. He invited us for lunch but we told him that you're still in class until late lunchtime. He said he'd wait for us in the Bruff. So let's go, he's probably starving by now," Madison said.

Hillary almost grabbed me by the hand when I retreated backward.

"Oh! Oh no! I, I promised my classmates I'd, I'd join them for lunch, uhm, off-campus," I said, stuttering.

"Really? Then just tell them that you got an emergency errand so you can't join them," Sidney said.

I frantically shook my head. Okay! I think I need to tell them the truth.

I sighed and then whispered, "I, I just d-don't wanna see Cliff."

"What?!" They reacted in unison.

"Hey, won't you feel guilty? He's been waiting for us since a long while ago. It's already late for lunch, he must be famished now," Madison said.

"Well then! Just have lunch without me. If he asks, please tell him that I needed to go somewhere," I said.

Without further delay, I turned on my heels and walked away before they could stop me. That jerk can starve for all eternity as he waits! I don't care! Ugh! I'm so furious!

The whole day went on like that, and even in the next couple of days — me deliberately playing hide and seek with Cliff. Yeah, it was ridiculously stupid.

My mind was somewhere else during class. I could not pay attention to the professor's lecture. I was scribbling nonsense in my notebook. I had not talked to Cliff since Sunday. It had been three days now. How long will I be able to keep this cold war up?

I went to the Bruff for lunch. My friends were already gathered around a table. I bought some food and sat with them. They all looked at me with curious smiles on their faces.

"Oh, you're still alive then," Hillary said the moment I settled down in my seat.

"What're you talking about? I only hibernated for two days," I replied.

"Okay then. So what really happened? Care to share the details now?" Madison asked.

"What do you mean what happened? Nothing happened," I said, feeling defensive.

"We mean between you and your boyfriend—" Sidney said.

"Who?! Boyfriend! What the hell are you talking about? I don't have one, as far as I know," I butted in.

"Okay! We mean between you and Cliff! What happened between you and that... well, let's just call it your fling for now," Madison said.

I sighed. My gaze traveled from Madison to Hillary to Sidney. The three of them looked so eager to find out. They even inched closer to me as if preparing their selves to hear all the juicy details.

I bet they were all excited to hear about EVERYTHING starting from the 'house party scandal'. I could not believe how they were still not over that. I tried so hard to avoid talking about that issue. But there was no escaping this inquisition now.

"Well, you saw what happened. Joker almost assaulted me and then Batman saved the day... or the night," I said.

"Duh! That's not what we want to hear, girl. We already saw that scene," Sidney said.

"Hey, you never replied to the texts and chats we sent since Sunday. You worried us all, you b*tch! What kind of friend are you?" Madison said.

"So spill! Where did prince charming take you when he swept you off your feet?" Sidney asked.

"Did you do the home run? Or just up to third base?" Hillary asked.

My eyes widened. I suddenly found it hard to swallow my lunch. I drank water before I spoke.

"Okay. First and foremost, he did not sweep me off my feet. He literally just dragged me out of the venue and drove me back to my place. Secondly, whether home run or third base, it's none of your business. That topic is personal," I said.

And that's what friends are for! I groaned. Their persistence often drove me crazy.

"Told ya it's a home run," Madison said to the group with a nonchalant shrug.

"Why not?!" I automatically blurted. My hand flew to cover my mouth when I realized what I just said.

Their sudden shrieks of excitement almost made me cough out the food I was chewing. I drank water again to clear my throat.

"Will you please hush it down?" I told them wide-eyed.

"Oh please, please tell us! How was it? Spill it and we'll shut up," Hillary said.

"It was fine. He knew what to do," I said in a very low voice.

And then they shrieked again, a bit louder and sharper. I closed my eyes tight to contain my irritation. Thankfully, people were scarce in the dining hall at that time. It was already late lunchtime.

Thursday afternoon. I was in the library and caught up between bookshelves. I tiptoed as I extended my hand, trying so hard to reach the book that I needed. It was located several inches high above me. And it really was impossible for me to reach it. I checked around for a ladder but there was none.

I continued to struggle with my dilemma just when a tall man popped up beside me. He reached for the book effortlessly and handed it to me. To my surprise, it was Cliff. I was baffled at the sight of him.

Pulling myself together, I reached out a hand to receive the book from him. But I frowned when I could not pull it off his hand. He held it tightly! Apparently, he did not want to hand it over so easily! I glared at him. He just kept on staring at me with eyes that looked darn serious. Annoyed, I shoved the book back to him and removed my hand from it.

"What the hell are you doing? Are you gonna give me the book or what?" I whispered irritably at him, not forgetting that I was still inside the library.

"How about you? What are you doing?" he asked in a hushed tone, still looking serious.

"Practicing a dance? Duh! I'm in the goddamn library. Isn't it obvious what I'm doing?"

"Let's cut to the chase, Fiona. You've been avoiding me for days now. You're not even answering my texts and calls. At least tell me what went wrong."

There was a hint of sadness and disappointment in his voice. It was melting my resolve. However, my stubborn pride demanded that I should stand firm with my decision.

"Look... Is it because something happened between us that Saturday night? Fiona, let's talk about it. You don't need to avoid me. Not like this," he said.

I stared at him. I wanted to say something but no words came out of my mouth. I could not believe that this was his hypothesis as to why I had been avoiding him. Oh, you men really are halfwits!

"D-do you regret it somehow? Because I sure don't. We shared a great time together and I can't just ignore it. Do you maybe think it was a mistake or... or that you've gotten cheap? Please, Fiona, let's just talk about—"

Oh, hell! What should I say to him? This is outrageous!

"Okay, stop! I don't... I don't think of it that way." I cut the rest of what he was about to say. Geez! This guy is infuriating my lash extensions!

"Then what, Fiona? What is it? You've been avoiding me like I have a transmittable virus. You pretend as if I don't exist every time your group is just nearby. It does not feel right. Please tell me—"

"Just leave me alone. I'm busy with school papers. There's so much stuff I need to research. Go away, Cliff! Honestly, I can't be wasting my time on you," I told him, cutting off his litany.

He was stunned by what I said. It took almost a minute before he spoke again. There was hurt in his eyes.

"I'm wasting your time, huh?" He sighed before continuing. "Is this what you do to the guys who really like you? Lead them on and then leave them hanging? Make them go crazy wondering why you're suddenly so cold. Is there something you're afraid of, Fiona?"

Speechless, I stared at him and fought back my tears. I struggled not to reach out a hand to touch his face. It was obvious that he was disappointed. Me and my harsh statement! My stubborn willpower was crumbling.

Realizing how I was determined to keep my silence, he nodded his head and sighed heavily in defeat.

"Lo entiendo, amor (I get it, love). I'm sorry for wasting your time," he said.

He reached for my hand and gave me the book that I needed. Then he turned and walked away.

I looked down and clutched the book tightly. Then I shut my eyes close to gather my thoughts. The silence in the library was deafening. And I still could not find the words to say.