Pain of loosing

I am sure as hell, Kevin is gonna do something to Travis for hurting Amber like this. I just hope, that stupid doesn't do something disastrous and loose her before getting her !

I sat beside her and she was crying. I couldn't see her cry.

" Amber, I know me saying don't cry won't help you reducing your pain or anything but darling trust me, it's not gonna make you feel better either. Please, don't cry. I can't watch you cry. I am sure Kevin will do something and... "

I said trying to calm her down.

" I don't want anyone to do anything. Just leave me alone and I'll be alright ! But none of you is ready to leave me alone. Why ? "

Amber yelled frustrated.

" Whether or not you think of us but we think of you as our friend. And friends don't leave friends alone when they are sad !

We want you to smile. I know it's the last you wanna do right now; but darling, it is not gonna earn anything ! "

I said softly.

" Don't you think I know that ? But right now I WANT to feel the pain it is causing me ! Is it so much to ask for ? I know you guys wanna help me out of it but... I... I really think I should be... "

Amber was so hurt and frustrated she couldn't even speak properly.

" Look, I know how it feels to loose something really precious to us. I've lost so many precious things, trust me I have !

But holding on to them never works. You have to let it go and move on. That's how life works ! But if you'll say, you are gonna hold on to it like forever; it is just gonna bring hopelessness and sadness and grief nothing else ! "

I said remembering the pain it caused me whenever I lost someone precious to me with the time.

" Ethan I am just a normal human ! I am not a vampire not an original nor am I a hybrid. I can't process the way you guys process what happens in your life.

My way of seeing things and handling emotions is way different and... "

Amber said defending holding on to the grief.

" It is not about being a human or vampire or an original or a hybrid, it's about being a person with clear opinions about things !

I had my clear opinions about everything in my life. And I had them even before I was turned into a vampire ! For a moment, just think about it from my point of view. Forget I am a vampire.

I have always looked at the situations differently. Do you think in my existence of 3 thousand years, I haven't lost my loved ones ? I haven't grieved ? I don't miss my friends or my lovers or my relatives ? "

I asked her.

" 3 Thous... 3 thousand years ? "

Amber said super shocked at my age.

" Yes ! I have lost many of my friends and loved ones and my family members. I do miss them. But missing them and doing nothing but grieving for them are completely different things !

Imagine they'd be looking at us and watching us sad, won't it hurt their souls ? And imagine them watching us missing them; but us being happy, won't they be less miserable ?

It's on us what do we want them to feel watching us ? If we can't make them happy, at least we could try not to make them sad or even worse, miserable seeing us doing nothing but grieving for them !

Think about it like if, they were here with us, would they have wanted us to be sad or happy and moving on with life ?

I know it is hard, very hard to keep ourselves together and move on. But darling we can't be in present holding on to our past and never letting it go ! Am I right ? "

I asked caressing her head.

" I guess, you are right. I should... "

She stopped talking as we heard a loud noise of breaking something.

" What was that ? "

Amber asked confused.

" Wait right here, I'll see what's wrong. "

I said.

" Don't leave me alone, I am scared to be alone. Please. "

Amber said holding my arm.

" What if there is danger out there ? "

I asked.

" I don't care, just don't leave me behind. "

Amber said gripping me harder.

" Ok. Stay behind me. "

I said.

I slowly opened the door. There was more sound of breaking stuff from the living room. We slowly went there and found Kevin breaking the stuff there.

" Kevin ? "

I called him but he didn't listened and continued to break the table and chairs.

" Kevin ! What are you doing ? "

I yelled at him.

He still didn't responded. I rushed to him and caught his hand before he broke anything else.

" Kevin ! What's wrong ? Why are you doing this ? What happened ? "

I asked shaking him vigorously.

" That bastard escaped ! "

Kevin spat.

" Who ? "

Amber asked confused.

" Travis ! "

Kevin said clenching his teeth.