MEMORY THAT WANTS TO BE DELETE

That night,

Eva paced back and forth in her bedroom. Her mind wandered to what had happened this afternoon. Her meeting with Uncle Gordon did bring something unexpected to her.

To some extent, she was a bit hurt by what happened, it's deceptive if she didn't feel that way at all.

Just imagine, all of a sudden she was told about such a big thing. Someone unfamiliar suddenly wants to get into a life where all this time there was only she and her mother. Of course, it's normal for her to feel uneasy right?

However, even with their brief meeting, she could feel the happiness on her mother's face. She knew its been a long time since her mother had felt such happiness. She also understands there is a space in her mother's heart that she cannot afford to be filled by herself as a daughter even though they are often together.

Eva sighed softly as she persuaded her heart to calm down with what was happening. She then looked around. All this time she was happy with the life she was going through.

'Will this happiness last even after mom gets married again? ' She can't help but question that.

But, the most important thing is that she doesn't want her mother's heart to be hurt. Had she disagreed with her mother's decision, she was sure Edith would reject Gordon and would never go ahead with her plans to get married. It's just that Eva realizes she should understand her mother's heart and not just understand her own will.

With a heavy heart, Eva lay on the bed while looking at the ceiling. Suddenly, she remembered the story of her life a while ago. It's one of her memories that she wanted to get rid of.

She got up quickly and headed for her dressing table. Her hand quickly opened the desk drawer and pulled something out of it.

The picture… The picture has been stored neatly for a long time. Why is it that when she thinks about her mother like this, she remembers that face?

"Danny, you've been my biggest mistake." She spoke slowly.

Clear drops were running down the rim of her eyes now. The man named Daniel was someone she once loved, but left without any news for so long.

For the first three months, Daniel was still in touch with her. After that, there was no more news from him and even his mobile phone number could not be contacted. Now, Eva's hopes for the man are gone. The hope for the man to come back to her was just a vague dream now.

Flashback:

"Eva, you will wait until I come back, right? We will always get in touch, right? " Daniel's words were still ringing in her ears before they parted.

"Of course, I'll wait for you to come back. You went there to study instead of looking for a new girlfriend. Isn't it?"

"If I want to find one, can I?"

Eva pulled a sour face. Daniel is always like that. Always like to joke with her about something like this. She then showed her small fist to Daniel.

"Want to be beaten?"

Daniel laughed on the spot. Not afraid of that threat.

Eva looked at Daniel's face, which she felt was very handsome at the time. Suddenly, he stopped laughing after seeing the look that she showed him now.

"See… You fall in love with me again."

Eva smiled cynically at Daniel's words. Daniel is indeed a person who is too overconfident even though what he says is true. But, how can he shamelessly talk like that all the time? He is not an ordinary person.

To tell the truth, Eva did not think they would have such a special relationship. Many of her friends do not approve of their relationship due to Daniel's playboy-like attitude, but, somehow she becomes attracted to him. Even the relationship was known to her mother.

Their relationship became so serious even though they were both young at the time that Eva had no idea that anything bad was going to happen.

Daniel, on the other hand, often played a good role in getting closer to her mother and often talked about him wanting to get married to her after his studies abroad were completed. So she felt confident that Daniel wasn't messing with her.

"Tomorrow you leave for Country U, I hope you don't forget about me," Eva said rather sadly.

"I will not forget you, believe me. I will only go for a while. 4 years, will be like a passing wind, and one day, I will appear in front of your eyes and we will not be far apart again."

Eva was only able to smile blandly. For her, 4 years is too long. Daniel will also not return here for Country A even if he is on holiday due to his father who has lived in that country for a long time due to working there.

But Daniel did not seem to understand her feelings at that time and even looked too happy when that was the moment when they said goodbye to each other.

She was just too stupid to see the sign.

The picture she had been holding since before finally fell from her hand, making Eva wake up from that memory.

"It's been more than four years now," said Eva tearfully.

She took the picture back and looked at it one last time. All the promises that the man had made to her before, were empty. What Zara said to her long before is right, that she shouldn't have expected Daniel's return from the very beginning. Indeed, Daniel had long abandoned her. It's just, why it is so hard for her to walk away from this kind of slow breakup. Feel like it's just her that suffers.

"I should let you go much earlier. This kind of relationship is not supposed to happen at all." Eva finally woke up from a long dream.

The picture was immediately thrown into the trash can that was waiting there. All the items that reminded her of the man were all discarded at that moment. She wants to start a new life like her mother. She no longer wants to be stuck with her past.

"You are such a trash."

Suddenly there was a knock on her bedroom door.

"Yes..." She answered weakly.

"Eva, can I come in?"

Eva wiped away the tears that had been shed. She didn't want her mother to see that.

In the past, when Daniel left and did not tell her any news, she felt very depressed and kept crying. Her mother was the one who became a loyal friend, injecting strength into her to forget Daniel little by little. So, she no longer wanted to look weak like that in front of her mother.

How stupid she felt at the time for wasting her time on someone like Daniel. She will not repeat the same mistake.

Eva then opened the room door. She then continued to sit on the bed without saying anything before inviting her mother to approach.

"Let's sit here mom."

Edith approached her daughter slowly. She was a little surprised to see the pictures of Daniel that had been in the trash. Then she realized there must be something playing in Eva's mind at the time.

"Why my love? Why throw away all those pictures?"

Eva just stared blankly at the picture she had just thrown away. Throwing away the picture is the same as throwing away all her hopes for Daniel to return. That's what she should have done in the past.

"I want to forget everything mom. I want to start a new life. Like mom did."

Edith knew firsthand that her daughter loved Daniel very much. Daniel was Eva's first love and certainly not easy to forget. As a mother, from the beginning she felt that Daniel was not the best choice for Eva, however, she still blessed their relationship because she trusts her daughter.

"There are still a lot of guys out there who are better, in fact, much better than Daniel. You just have to wait for him to come at you." Edith hopes she can alleviate Eva's sadness at this time.

"Wait for him to come? Like uncle Gordon come to mom?" Spontaneous Eva said that.

Edith was a little surprised by the question. She then laughed. Unexpectedly, Eva was able to ask such a question at such a time.

"You want to tease me again, didn't you?"

Eva finally smiled.

"Eva, I'm here to thank you for allowing me to…" Edith's voice trembled to explain the purpose of her arrival. She felt a bit tearful when her daughter was so open about her life plans.

Eva began to feel a little sad hearing what her mother had said. She bowed to hold back the tears that had already begun to stagnate. If only her mother knew what was playing in her true heart. However, she will never destroy her mother's hopes.

"I want you to be happy. This is too fast for me. But I promise I will try to think of Uncle Gordon as my father. But, as you know, everything takes time. I promise you, that everything will go smoothly and I'm sure one day I'll be able to accept Uncle Gordon completely. "

Edith was stunned to hear Eva's sincere confession at that moment.

"I don't even know how to say it anymore. I understand what you mean. I won't force you to accept Gordon like your father so quickly. I understand it very, very well."

"So, now you have to promise me that you will live happier. You will right? " Eva asked, pointing her pinky finger at Edith.

"Mom…" She whimpers like a child now.

Edith began to laugh at her behavior. Never did she think the time was moving too fast. Her daughter is already an adult, only her style is like a child. Maybe it's also because she over-indulged Eva, who was her only pride princess.

"Mom, my hand has been already numb here." Eva pursed her mouth as a sign of wanting to sulk.

"Yes, I promise." Edith finally had to comply with the request by making a pinky promise. Not that she ever thought at this age she had to do such a childish thing because of Eva.

"So, satisfied?" Edith pinched her daughter's cheek as an act of revenge.

"Ah! Mom, it's hurt! "Eva massaged her aching cheek. Despite the pain, she still felt happy at that moment.

"Tch, after this I can't be spoiled by my mother anymore."

Edith looked at Eva in surprise.

"What do you mean?"

"Of course, it's because you'll be busy trying to spoil yourself with Uncle Gordon. I had to give in."

Edith was startled to hear the explanation. She immediately slapped her daughter's thigh out of embarrassment.

"You! How can you be so naughty like this? Never mind, just go to sleep. I'm getting a headache now because of you. " Edith immediately got up to leave the bedroom. She knows the longer she was there, the more Eva wanted to tease her.

"Feeling shy huh? I just started to have fun. "

"Just have fun alone. I'm going," said Edith, turning off the lights.

"Mom! Don't turn off the light. " Eva screamed in fear. It has indeed become her habit to sleep in the light.

Quickly Edith immediately pressed the light switch again.

"Now you know how to be scared. Go to sleep this instant. You need to go to work tomorrow. "

"I'm about to sleep since before. You are the one who bothers me. So, bye! " Eva waved her hand as if asking her mother to get out immediately.

Edith can only sigh. It's hard to deal with Eva when she behaves like this. But still... She feels happy.

_________

Footnotes:

Why it is difficult to forget the memories even after the break up?

Even if I know that 'us' can never be said again...