14. I’m not Who I Seem

It had been a while since Alison had fallen asleep, and all the tranquillity I had when I was with her was gone. Dimitri's words wouldn't leave my head. What if what he said was true and he wanted to help us catch his brother? Did he really hate his brother? Was it true he had to kill my child to prevent him from killing both me and him? I don't know what to believe or think, and all of this was giving me quite a headache.

Before leaving the room, I kissed my daughter goodnight on the forehead, and walked out of there. As soon as I left, I ran into Fabio who had a smile on his face. I think ever since I've known him, he's always had a smile on his face. It was strange, or at least that's what I think.

"I have what you asked for." Fabio said when I left Alison's room "Really?" I asked surprised, I didn't expect it so soon "Yes, I left it on the table in your office, but before you go to see what you need, I have to tell you something." He said serious.

"What?" I asked "I don't know if it's true or not, but from what the Russian said, as soon as you turn on the phone, they will be able to track the location of it." Of course, it would be strange if they didn't "Shit..."

"I said the same thing, so I contacted a colleague of mine who is a great computer scientist, and he told me he could help us with that, I just have to call him to confirm the place and time and he would go." I nodded and thought for a moment "Well, that friend of yours, is he legit?"

"You mean does he know what I do?" he asked, and I nodded "Don't worry, he's legit, and he knows what I do. He also helps mafias, so he knows the business and the consequences if he talks too much." He said "Perfect, I want him tomorrow in my office. Now let's train for a while."

"Whatever you want." We left the house to go to the backyard and stretched for a while, if there was one thing I wanted to avoid, it was my whole body ached in the morning. "Well, what do you want us to train first?" he asked taking off his jacket "Anything, it fits me. What I need is to de-stress." I said stretching "So for that, I think a little fight is better." I nodded and continued stretching for a while.

When we finished stretching, we started to fight, and I must say he's good. At least I'll stay calm in case someone wants to come after us. After a while and both of us ending up on the ground a couple of times, we sat down on the grass to rest.

"Where did you learn to fight like that?" he asked, and I shrugged. "My father sent us to classes on all kinds of fighting, but mostly self-defences." Fabio denied it and I kept looking at him without understanding why he meant with it.

"But what you know is not learned in fighting classes." He said, "Let's say there were circumstances in my life that forced me to learn." I said looking towards the horizon and hugging my legs "And should I know those circumstances?" he asked. "I don't think you need to know them."

"It has something to do with the Russians, doesn't it?" he asked, and I turned in his direction because I have no idea why he was saying that "Why do you say that?"

"You tense up as soon as you enter there. You hate him, but you still hold back, and from what I could see the last time your sister and Diego were in there, I could see they're worried about what he might say to you." He said and now he really was not understanding anything "Do you know how to read body language?"

"Let's just say before I entered this life, I studied psychology." He said with a shrug, "So you're a psychologist." I said raising an eyebrow "I only practiced for a year, but that's not forgotten."

"Well, you need to know I hate psychologists." I said looking back to the front. "Did you go to one?" I huffed and rolled my eyes. "Did I go to one? I went to thousands of psychologists. My parents insisted, but they were all disgusting."

"I must assume they were staring at you like freaks." I nodded "Or they said things they themselves don't believe." I said "Unfortunately there are a lot of those. But, on the other hand, I understand they stare at you, you are beautiful."

"Don't even think about going there, Fabio, please." I said closing my eyes for a second hoping he wouldn't ruin it "Don't get me wrong you guys are beautiful, but I play for the other team."

I turned in his direction surprised, but at the same time calm he is the one with me and not another of the bodyguards "What you heard, I hope you don't have a problem with that." I shook my head and smiled, "More like, you just lifted a weight off my shoulders."

"I'm glad about that, but may I know why?" he asked, curiosity evident in his voice. "How should I put it...you can say ...I don't feel comfortable with other men around me." I said running my thumbs gently down my leg "I knew that the moment man approached you at the bar yesterday."

"I just can't stand it. It seems every guy thinks about sex and only that. Is really the only thing on your mind?" I asked looking at him "Unfortunately most of the men do, but there is another part doesn't." He said denying and settling on the floor "And which one are you?" I asked out of curiosity, I preferred to talk about him than to have him asking me questions "Obviously I like sex, but I also like the romantic concept of a couple."

"So, you're telling me you're a romantic guy." I said with a small smile on my face "Yes, but can I tell you something?" I tilted my head to the side and waited for him to say whatever he had to say. "You shouldn't get hung up on what happened a long time ago. I understand it's painful, and I'm the first to understand you don't want to talk about what you went through in there, but it's eating you inside, even if you don't notice it."

"You mean I'll go crazy if I don't talk about what's going on in my head?" I asked "I'm not saying you'll go crazy; what I'm saying, it will end up destroying you, and I can assure you in the short time I've known you, I don't want that to happen. Your daughter doesn't deserve to see you bad." He said and I sighed, dropping my head onto my knees, "So you're suggesting I stop this revenge against the Russians?"

He quickly shook his head and supported his weight on the arms. "Don't get me wrong, I didn't say not to do that. If that can make you feel better, then do it. I understand you don't want them to get close to you and your family after everything that happened, but I don't think it's the solution either."

"And what is the solution according to you?" I asked, because if something was not going to change my mind, it was to kill the Russians "Forgive yourself. You were not to blame for anything that happened in there." He said quietly, "You don't know anything about what happened in there."

I turned to face the horizon again and focused on a specific point "That's right, I don't know anything about what happened in there, but I can see you blame yourself for something, I guess it's about something that happened in there."

I shrugged my shoulders, and it could be I blamed myself for many things that happened in there, not because they caught us, but for not having protected Megan before, for the child taken from me and, above all, for not having taken out sooner. "They beat us every day, and they made us sleep with thousands of men just to get money. That place was a nightmare."

"And that's why you went there recently." I turned around without understanding what he was talking about. "What are you talking about?" I asked him "I am talking about what my niece told. I had been trying to find that place for a long time, the police stopped looking for her after a couple of weeks because we had no resources." He said and I couldn't help but frown. Was his niece in there? "Your niece?"

"Yes, if what worries you is she had told us something, she didn't, she just said someone entered the club that had them kidnapped and took her out." He said with a smile on his face, "Then why do you say it was me?" I asked thinking why he assumed it "Because some of the men who were there said so, that's why I know. And I want to thank you for taking the trouble to get them out of there."

"It was something I had to do. I know very well how it goes in there." I shrugged, because I should have done it much sooner and not have waited six years. "I suppose."

"Shall I tell you something no one knows?" I asked him without looking at him "If that's what you want, go ahead." I could feel his gaze on me, and even though it didn't bother me deeply, I didn't like being stared at, it reminded me of when I was in there "First of all don't stare at me, it bothers me more than you think and second do not tell anybody. Much less Megan and Diego." He nodded and settled further if possible.

"While inside there… As I told you before, they mistreated all of us in such a way there were times someone didn't return. From the first moment I was in there, I felt a connection with Megan, I don't know how to explain it…" I started "You felt her as if she were your own blood." I nodded, because in a way that's how it had been.

"Something like that. Megan was a child; she was about four years old... I never understood how they had taken her; she was just a girl... The point is we took care of each other and... one day... she arrived almost dead... I couldn't let that happen so I decided to talk to Dimitri and Stefan so they would leave her alone... they would not hurt her... From that day on, the one who took the beatings was me... and not only that... they gave me brutal sexual fantasies like whipping, suffocating… The cruellest thing you can imagine they did to me… but I had no problem with it, as long as they left Megan alone, which they did… I was impressed." I said, and it's true, it was something still impressed me today and I couldn't understand why they had accepted.

"You were the one who took Megan's place." I nodded "Basically… but… one day I had a medical exam and… and they found out I was pregnant…" I could feel the tears in my throat. I never talked about this, not even Megan knew about it. "From Alison." I denied and I could see how he straightened up.

"I don't understand..." he said, looking for a logical answer, or at least one that fit everything "Before Alison I was going to have another child... with Dimitri because he was the only one who didn't use condoms..." my breathing had quickened and I felt how it was harder for me to breathe "And what happened to that child?" he asked somewhat tense.

"They killed it… they gave me the beating of my life… I didn't die from that miraculously… A year or so later, they did another checkup, but this time they weren't around, the doctor told me I was pregnant… Since then, Megan and I were training to get out of there as soon as possible… I ended up killing the doctor and escaping from there with Megan…" I said, "Did she know something about you being pregnant?" asked

"She had no idea… nobody knew until we arrived in Italy, and they did a full exam. They didn't manage to do it the first time, it took them about three months to do it and if I remember correctly, they sedated me" I said laughing a little thinking that this was the only way they could stop me "Alison..."

"The best thing that happened to me in my life if I'm honest." I said, "And does she know who her father is?" I denied. It was something I wouldn't want her to know, and I hoped she would stay that way for the rest of her life. "She hasn't the slightest idea. She asked me about her once... we had been out of there for three years... but my nightmares wouldn't go away... I had them every night and I threaten anyone who approaches me at the time... I don't do it on purpose... The point is the moment he asked me I had a panic attack... I was beside myself they ended up sedating me... from that day on, she never asked me about her father again."

"Because she's worried you'll react like last time." He said sure of what he was saying "I can't really tell you who her father is. What do I tell her? Her father is a drug trafficker, arms and people trafficker? I don't want my daughter to know all that..."

"But one day she'll come asking who her father is, and she would have the right to know who he is," she said, and that made me angry, because Alison didn't have to find out who her father was "You don't have to tell her, that's for sure, but Alison will want to know. Of course, you won't have to tell her who he really is, but you will have to tell her where she came from if you want her to stop asking that question."

I kept thinking, because it could be true. I know it, in the future, Alison would ask about her father again, and if she continued to be curious as she was at this moment, she would eventually find out if she had to. "I think you're the first psychologist I've ever liked." I said with a small smile and trying not to think about what Alison would do in the future.

"At least I hope I've helped a bit." He said with a shrug, "If it's worth it, you've taken some of the weight off my shoulders." I told him "Well, I'm glad I helped in something. Now we have to talk about something else that is important." said

"About what?" I asked, because as far as I know she didn't know anything about me "Do you remember the guy from the bar yesterday? Not the first, the one after." He asked and I kept looking at him thinking where he was going with all this "Hugo?" Fabio just nodded "What about him?"

"I get the feeling you have feelings for him." I laughed, because I had only had one conversation with him in my entire life. How was I supposed to like a guy I didn't know at all? "Me? You're crazy." Fabio shook his head and crossed his legs, turning in my direction "No, I don't, but that's not what I want to tell you."

"So what?" I asked annoyed someone else brought up this topic "That boy likes you. I'm not joking. It can be said he feels something more than that." I shook my head, now I could see when he was referring, he was a romantic boy "We don't know each other at all, Fabio. We only saw each other a couple of times."

"Have you ever heard about love at first sight?" I laughed, I couldn't help it "In my daughter's stories, but I doubt that's true." I said, "Can I give you my point of view?" I shrugged and waited for him to continue "Did you ever tell your daughter this didn't happen in reality?"

I stared at him not understanding where this was going now "No, what does that have to do with it?" I asked confused "Well, I think you didn't tell her because deep down you believe in it." I laughed again, if something was clear to me, it's this boy was funny "That's impossible."

"Not as much as you think." He said resting his cheek on his hand "Can you be direct?" I asked annoyed, because I don't understand where he was going with this, and if I didn't like something, it was not understanding things "I think if you give yourself the opportunity to meet that man, you can fall in love with him."

I denied, because that would be impossible, and not only because of what we each do "I don't trust him." I said, "I know with your history it's hard to trust a man, but I'll be there for whatever you need. What's more, I can talk to him and look for something isn't well intentioned if that makes you calmer."

"Would you do that?" I asked surprised "As I told you, I liked you, and let's say, as your bodyguard, it's my duty to prevent anything from harming you." I smiled and focused on the horizon thinking about what he had said "Imagine if that is true, how do you expect to turn out well? I'm the head of a mafia, one of the most wanted, and he's a DEA agent. That won't work out." I said, "And so, if you don't mind, I have a plan, so you don't have to depend on the mob."

I turned in his direction, because if I wasn't going to get rid of something, it was from the mafia "I'm not going to get rid of the mafia, Fabio. You can have that more than clear" I said "You may not have any intention, but I also understand your sister studied marketing and you economy." I nodded, because I didn't see where he was going with all this.

"You have many restaurants that give you enough money to support yourself and pay a couple of bodyguards." He said, but the money the restaurants gave us wasn't enough for all the protection both Megan and I wanted to have "We need a bodyguard squad. Even though we go out of business, I'm sure they'll come after us, especially the Russians."

"Well, to maintain a squad of bodyguards will give you. I understand you invest in the stock market." I nodded again, I didn't understand how he knew so many things about me, and it was something I didn't like very much we can say "And how much do you earn with it?" He asked.

"A couple million, sometimes more. Where do you want to go with this? I asked irritated by what he was insinuating "What I want you to understand, is that with the money you earn in investments in the stock market and what you get from restaurants gives you plenty for all that. That way you don't have to worry about your daughter finding out you're the boss of a mafia or worry about the boy chasing you."

I denied it, because it was no longer just the mafia, I was the murderer the DEA was after. "They will continue to persecute me because I'm a murderer."

"We can take care of it ourselves. You don't have to kill anyone." It was more than clear to me I could do it, but sometimes, it was also my way of freeing myself from stress and the burdens I had spent in there "You won't be able to avoid it."

"Okay, we can't help it, but we can cover your tracks." She said, "I'm not going to let you guys get into any trouble just to cover for us." And it was true. Maybe they did our job for us from time to time, but these people were good despite what much of the world thought, and I know I could do better with the mob on my hands than with it undone.

"Okay, you won't, but we'll find a way not to get caught." He said trying to convince me "Fabio, I don't only have the mafia for the protection it offers my family and me. I know I can do a lot of good things with her, not everything, but a lot. I can help more girls like your niece, I can help thousands of families, because my money comes from the mafia doesn't mean I can't do something good with it" I said. I already had it in mind, and I know Megan would join me if we used our money to help other people, even Analissa would.

"Now go rest, tomorrow we'll get up early" I said getting up from the ground "Are we going to go back to the Russian?" he asked following me "I don't know." I said, because I still had no idea what I was going to do with the Dimitri spell, "I'll let you think for a while. Rest."

"Same to you, and thanks for listening." I said before entering the house "It's my job, but think about what I just told you, more like everything, okay?" I nodded, but I know he wasn't going to do it, what's more, I think I had convinced him more than he had done me "I'll do it, now go away."

"See you in the morning." With that, he left me alone. When I entered the house, the first place I went, was Alison's room to make sure she was asleep and after giving her a kiss on the forehead and covering her well, I went to the office where I sat down and turned to look out the bay window behind the desk.

It may be I feel something for that man, but everything I've done in my life, not only for the mafia, but also murdering people will prevent us from being together, I'm more than sure of that. I had to find a way not to hurt him, I would feel bad about it, and I don't want him to get excited about something it can't happen.

At this moment I was stressed, I had too many things on my mind, so I got up and left the house without telling anyone, it was one of those moments when I needed to be alone. For some reason, after a few minutes I found myself in the bar I had met him and sitting in the same place.

"Wow, looks like we're destined to meet in the same place." Hugo said with a big smile "I doubt it, and if you do me a favour, I want you to leave me." I said focusing on my drink "Is something wrong?" he asked "A lot of things are wrong, but I don't want to talk, so please."

There was a couple of minutes in silence while we each drank our drinks, but soon he turned with a determined look. "I cannot leave you. It may sound crazy, but I can't, I feel something for you, and it hurts me to see you bad. I turned to look at him surprised. "You're right, it sounds crazy." I said, "I know, but I can't help it."

I shook my head and finished my drink. "If you knew what I do, I'm more than sure you'd be chasing me across the country if necessary." I said seriously and without turning in his direction, "It's true, the only thing I know is you inherited restaurants and that I have no idea what you do, but all that doesn't matter to me, because what I feel for you is nothing to me." You can change."

"Oh yeah? So, what would you think at the moment I run a mob? The greatest of all." I said and Hugo shrugged his shoulders "Well, I don't care. I think it's something you would say to get me away from you."

"What if I tell you I killed people just to get what I want?" I said turning around "Well, I wouldn't believe it, that's impossible." I denied and paid for the drink "Let's see who's right. Accompany me." I said getting up and leaving the bar and I could hear his footsteps behind me "Where to?" he asked "I'm going to teach you something that will change your mind."

If he didn't want to believe me, with what I was going to teach him at this moment, he would end up believing me and maybe he would stop me, in the end it was ending with two birds with one stone.