Tyler Moss

"I'll see you again next week," the receptionist smiled and waved at me gently while handing me my appointment card.

"Can I have a lollipop?" I asked motioning to the jar full of dum dums next to her.

"Of course," she happily handed me one and made sure to coo over my politeness.

"Thanks again," I waved back at her.what a nice energy to be around. Therapy was also so much different than I thought it would be. I actually felt a lot better. The trauma really can go away and I believe that.

Despite this, I was truly dissatisfied. This wasn't what I actually came for.

It wasn't even that guy I was looking for....just his stupid office! And for that I'm a bit unsatisfied.

"Hello?" Grandmas voice croaked thru the phone.

"Grandma, it wasn't your friend as the doctor," I steamed. "You said it was your friends medical practice. I thought you said it would be that guy!"

"Well, I didn't mean him exactly....I didn't know who would be your doctor honestly. I told you to go there because there's a lot of good doctors there...and the friend discount."

"You made it seem like it was him! Screw your discount! You used me!"

"It's not like I got something from recommending you, but, Whoops!"

"Whoops?!"

"Tyler! I should've been more clear, ok. You seemed reluctant to go so I wanted to persuade you because the doctors there are talented like him. I just know how stubborn you are and so I had to peak your interest somehow."

"Were you really a professor?" I questioned. "You should be more clear, what the hell?"

"Why are you so dam worked up?! I didn't know!"

"Ugh, I'm sorry Grandma. I guess I should've asked more questions," i sighed. "The doctor was alright and I am feeling better. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful or something. I'll come back, so thanks."

"Say it like you mean it."

"Thank you, oh great teacher of life, great saint of knowledge, you've shown me the light. Happy now?"

"Yes. Bye Tyler," grandma hung up quickly before I could take it back.

Like mother like grandma.

I didn't even know why I thought I would be so lucky so quickly. Things never go smoothly unless I push for them. What now? I thought snooping was easy. If it were Levi, what would he do?

"Hey! I came to pick you up," I looked up from my phone to see Levi standing there. My face broke out into an involuntary smile. He had too much of a hold on me. I could only be nice because I felt bad for leaving him yesterday.

"Have you eaten anything?" I asked him.

Levi perked up immediately and shook his head. "Let's get Thai food, my treat." He engulfed me in a tight hug. "And I've missed you a lot."

"Levi..."

"Can we just stay like this for a bit? It's been a long day."

"You sound exhausted. Did something happen at the hospital? This morning?" I asked.

"No I left last night without papers," Levi pulled away  from the hug to kiss me. When I heard a whistle coming from a nurse I quickly jumped away, embarrassed. "Cool it, Levi. They're going to tell my grandma!"

"I couldn't help it, you look so cute right now."

"You always think that anyway!" I sighed and just relaxed into his impossible grip around me. "I'm sorry I just left you while you were sick. It wasn't very loyal....it wasn't what I wanted to do. As soon I left, I wanted to go back."

"Well, I've been reflecting a lot since you left yesterday. I'm also to blame for that. So I've been reflecting, but it hasn't really gotten me anywhere."

"Levi, what's on your mind?" This is new.

"Do you think it would be worth it to try and recover my memories? I've been recalling a few things, but there doesn't seem to be anything good at all. Every time it's painful and makes me feel physically sick. So I think it might be better not to know, if it's going to make me suffer."

"Painful?"

"It's worth the pain if it'll save the relationship. I'll do anything it takes to keep you."

I believed him when he said this. Why did he always have to be such a fucking extremist. "I don't want you to be in pain."

"Don't worry.....Remember when you said I should eat more? The doctor said I should gain some weight as well, he said I was basically starving myself. I'll eat more from Now on....what's on your mind?"

"N-nothing, let's order some food," I nervously laughed. I never considered the reason he forgot could be because of extreme trauma. I don't want to open up his despair out of selfish curiosity.

It wasn't fair! The only thing that can really save us is going to put him in physical pain. And he's telling me that he's willing to go thru any pain just for us to work out!

What did I do to ever deserve that? It made me feel like shit. Was I actually the one taking advantage of him?

"Don't worry about what I said just now," Levi ruffled my hair. Easier said than done, I didn't have the authority to make him open up a can of worms. "I feel a lot better opening up with you about this. So I've decided to try and remember."

But I'm not a doctor!

We received out food and ate in silence.

"Tyler, have you told your grandma yet?"

"About what?"

"That I want to marry you?"

"Why did you say it like that? You mean did I tell her That we ARE getting married? Not yet, I want to tell her together," I said. I hated how he made the love seem one sided sometimes. I do love him too! More than he knows. "I can't wait to marry you too."

Levi blushed hard. "it's no pressure!"

"So you can blush?" I smiled evilly. "Should I wear a white tux or a white dress for easy access?" Levi blushed a deeper red while almost choking on his food. "Or maybe, we can just skip the formalities and go right to the honeymoon."

"Tyler, stop trying to provoke me. I smell like medicine from the topical creams."

"Awwwwww, but I love you, Levi!" I said. "So much, I already know how my vows are going to go."

"I've had mine written for years now," Levi muttered.

"Years? You proposed only a few days ago."

"Well, I've been planning this since we met to be honest." Levi admitted.

"We're seventeen now! How could....wow," I thought that over and couldn't help but stupidly smile. He held on all this time and never wavered.  "Ah, I feel good hearing that."

"Well, I'll always love you, more than you think," Levi assured me.

"You always assure me on this. I should be doing the same,". I admitted. It felt uneven and I wouldn't be surprised if Levi was scared. "I do love you, tell me when you're ready, I don't think forcing you to remember your past is fair, especially if it hurts. There's obviously a reason your brain blocked it out. It's so obvious that you love me and I'm sorry for not showing it more."

"I understand why you acted like you did. If you hid something from me I'd react the same way," Levi said.

"You said when it was safe, you'll tell me. Are you in danger?" I asked.

"Honestly, in a way I feel like I am, but at the same time I'm not. But it doesn't matter as long as I can keep you safe."

"It does matter! Levi I forbid you from doing any stupid shit that can get you hurt or killed! If something happened to you, do you really think I could just move on and forget you?" I snapped. "If something happened to you...I don't think I could love someone else, Levi."

"I just want you to be safe and happy."

"I want the same for you, so promise me you won't do anything irrational to get hurt? And whatever's going on...can you at least let me know that you're ok until you can tell me?"

"Yes I can. I think the dress would be the best option by the way, I thought about it." Levi addded quickly.

"You little pervert!" I laughed. "I'm wearing a tux, but if you want to see me in a dress and stuff.... I can show you in my room. I still have that Halloween costume I wore a joke. The sexy nurse."

Levi was silent before shaking his head. "I don't know..."

"You're totally thinking about it!"

"And?"

"You want it?"

"I want you...you don't need the dress, just the underwear," Levi blushed a bit but I could tell he was picturing it clearly. "The...the thong it came with was hot....and maybe some ears...and a tail."

I almost choked on my rice from laughing so hard. "I didn't wear the thong! It just came with the costume!"

"I know, you wore your boxers under it. You should just wear the thong," Levi looked right at me eagerly. "I want to see that."